How to approach anal sex and not regret: 20 tips
Text: Tatyana Nikonova, author of Sam Jones's Diary sex blog
Anal sex can be both awesome and dreadful - The result depends solely on the awareness and preparedness of the partners. Take the process into your own hands and follow the guide of 20 useful tips for women as a host (we will tell you about the other options another time).
Refuse without regrets if you are not satisfied with something. You are hurt, scared, boring, or you just do not want to engage in anal sex - in general or right now - you are not obliged to explain, much less argue for the other side. No - it is not, who does not understand, goes to the well ... that is, is removed from the list of contacts in WhatsApp.
Categories of men who are dangerous to allow their ass to their peace of mind and physical health: refusing to do the same for themselves (“hey hey hey, I'm a normal guy”), trying to stick without prior discussion (“yes, I’ll lose li ") demanding shows on porn standards (" they don’t like "). Throw those chtolyakov away. They are dangerously predictable and can ruin even the most traditional sex with a consumer attitude.
The first experiments begin with a long relaxing foreplay. Rimming (oral and anal caress) is loved by many, especially if it is accompanied by the partner’s warming, rhythmic exhalations right there. The back door has a lot of nerve endings, and it’s quite easy to create pleasant sensations. Just keep in mind that this type of contact is one of the ways to transmit hepatitis A. If you have not been vaccinated with your partner and you have never been tested for hepatitis, use licking simulators, such as Lelo Ora 2 or Sqweel 2, or special wipes for oral sex, they protect you from infection transfer like condoms.
The next step is fingers. Do not let us immediately shove even one entirely into ourselves, nothing pleasant will happen. Firstly, the main part of the nerve endings is located at the exit and, in order to wake up the desire, it is necessary to work with them. Secondly, any sharpness will discourage any interest in experiments. The right way is to first play with the fingertips outside, and then slowly immerse one of them inwards on the phalanx and massage the sphincter with soft circular movements, gradually increasing the diameter.
By the way, there are two sphincters there - a surprise! One of them is external, which we feel when we restrain understandable urges, for example. The other is inside and easy to grope (try it yourself). Actually, it is he who organizes the pain and discomfort, even if the external sphincter is completely relaxed. What to do? Relax it with those very circular movements until you feel that it increases with ease.
However, the very first approaches to anal games can be started without a man at all. Take anal beads for beginners - this is a chain of gradually increasing balls, choose silicone and solid-molded ones. Sequence of actions: relax, one ball inside, relax, another ball, relax, slowly pull the beads out, enjoying the sensations, repeat the input, increasing the number of balls by two, pull it out again - and so on, until you master the entire size range. Or do not master and understand that this is not for you. If it turns out that you are hurt, disgusting or not at all exciting - this is normal, we delete anal sex from the list of preferences.
Do not try to "develop the anus" and do not give others. What is called a developed anus, in fact, micro fractures in the sphincter, which do not allow it to perform its functions, namely, to open / close as needed. In the people there is a myth about the trained feed, whose elastic opening can be taught to take any size. In fact, this leads to incontinence and other pleasant things. Forget about the "development", the sphincter for responsiveness needs warmth, attention and relaxation (like all of us, in fact).
Be protected. In this way, of course, you will not get pregnant, but no one has canceled the STD. The receiving party is especially at risk, because possible microtraumas inside will not be tracked. There is another very practical feature in condoms: if you want to continue in other ways, you do not have to send your partner to wash, and then meticulously inspect the result. It is enough to remove or change the condom. Of course, NEVER go after anal sex in the same condom or in the same way without it on a vaginal journey.
Be sure not to spare the grease using any penetration - a finger, a toy or a penis. There is no natural lubrication in the rectum, unlike the vagina, and if you don't give a damn about discomfort, then those inner injuries are definitely not needed by anyone. Apply lubricant to the penis over the entire surface and inside. They usually recommend a silicone-based lubricant, because it dries more slowly, but the last blind study showed that many people like water-based products even more. Check what is right for you, and remember that water-based lubricants are easier to wash off and wash with a sheet. Vaseline, oil and fat creams are not suitable - they destroy the latex of condoms.
Do not use lubricants with a cooling effect, and especially with anesthetic. Pain and discomfort are reliable indicators of something wrong, do not deprive yourself of them. In addition, you will not feel anything pleasant, so what's the point of this in general. The only suitable reason: you have a proven partner who knows how not to hurt you, you do not like anal sex, but are very excited by the idea itself, it does not hurt you during anal sex, just a little unpleasant, this discomfort distracts you from the pleasure of knowing that you are doing anal sex, and does not get an orgasm. In such a situation it is easy to “not really” turn the anesthetic into “nothing” and enjoy the process. In other cases, you do not need anesthetic.
Means for local heating will wait, first sort out your feelings as usual. Warming up lubricant increases the rush of blood to the mucous membrane and enhances the pleasant sensations, but first you need to take control of the situation. In addition, look only for specialized products in decent sex shops and large pharmacy chains and never use homemade remedies for warming up, for example, purified ginger. Burn your mucosa, and you have to buy a subscription to the proctologist. It is more expensive than a tube of lubricant brand.
Speaking of control. For the first cases of anal sex, there are two suitable positions: "spoons" (both lie on the side, the man behind) and "woman on top" (in any convenient configuration). They allow you to control the depth of penetration and pace, and still give a sense of security process. Nothing kills excitement as reliably as fear that now you will be hurt, and in a position from above you decide how it will be. Most often, women can not try out the pleasure of anal sex, because men are too slow and too vigorous. Do not rush anywhere, do not make frictions, jump on the penis immersed in you, caress yourself. You, to enjoy it, did it, and not for a tick "so that it was something to remember in retirement."
Breathe properly to ease the penetration: inhale when Elvis leaves the building, exhale during the ceremonial visit. This mode of breathing facilitates relaxation cycles, helps to get more pleasure and not pay attention to the signals of the brain that leaves you is not a member, but what comes out in such cases. The brain is deceived, relax and move to orgasm.
How to get an orgasm during anal sex? Option one: simultaneously stimulate yourself vaginally or clitorally, independently or with the help of a partner. Why do you need anal sex? For fun in the process. Option Two: engage in anal sex in doggie position, if you have a vaginal orgasm - in this position zone G is easy to get. Option three: try to wake up the so-called point A, it is located on the front wall of the rectum, and there is an opinion that it is effective to learn to experience an orgasm using the switching method, which I described in the article on vaginal orgasm. If it does not work out, do not be discouraged: the point G for 60 years since its name has not yet been found, and point A is much younger.
It is useful to remember about alcohol, but rather to forget. Some people like to have anal sex while drunk. This is easily explained: alcohol increases arousal and dulls pain. But the reasons for the pain go nowhere. If you do not want to watch the blood on toilet paper and figure out if you are dying or not yet, just give up anal penetration if you are already drunk.
Enema do not, you do not need it. In the rectum there is very little of the very one that is dirtying, until it is ready for evacuation, and the anal douche reliably washes away bacteria from their natural habitats. These are the very bacteria that help the normal functioning of the body, and even the mood depends on them, they say. Better follow the rules of normal healthy food: plenty of fiber, dairy products and clean water - and everything will be in order. And keep the wipes by the bed in case of small incidents.
The real, dirty little secret of anal sex is the intake air in the process, almost like a piston. As a result, there is a great chance to fart for a while after the fact. Annoying, so anal sex is delayed for the evening, so as not to spoil your day.
If a man tries to present something about the lack of sterility inside, the presence of hair outside (yes, it happens in the vicinity, and he too) or the color of your anus, send it back to his collection of porn movies. The anus can be of various colors, and if its brownness is embarrassing, this means not that it is dirty, but that some have revised video production with bleached working parts.
If you do not like it, do not pretend, and tell about the whole partner. Three to five times with different postures and means for moistening will be enough to sort out your feelings. If you could not understand anal sex during this time, it means that it is not yours.
If possible, start such experiments with a regular partner or at least a good friend. To get pleasure, you need to relax, not be afraid to seem ridiculous and be able to stop everything that you do not like. With casual partners there is a miscellaneous.