Let's be friends: How to communicate with the former on Facebook

Sasha Sheveleva

Entering into a relationship, we get involved in a network of social contacts, mutual friends and virtual friends. After parting, you have to solve a delicate ethical question: what about all accounts on social networks, friends and records that are intended only for close friends to whom this person no longer applies? Delete without hesitation? Wait until he takes the initiative and removes you first? Save virtual friendship as if nothing had happened? Wonderzine analyzed the options and asked the girls' acquaintances about different ways of communicating with the former on Facebook.

Delete and do not chat

The first option that comes to mind in the heat of anger and resentment for the fact that everything happened this way is not to communicate at all. No Never. No compromise. Moreover, there is nothing to talk about. This is easy to do if you don’t have so many mutual friends and his photos from a happy life and IKEA’s check-ins break a heart. But if you have a common cause, a general get-together or, sometimes, such a general work, this option will not work.

Marina 24 years

When we broke up, I continued to live with an eye on him, constantly thinking about him, looking at my own LiveJournal or Facebook. It was easier for me to remove it from everywhere at once, than to create different access groups and take it into account. For me, the end is the end.

Delete if he is bothering

It happens that you think about yourself as a decent adult person who is able to maintain good neighborly relations even after a break, but the former young man completely disagrees with this interpretation of the insult inflicted on him and does not miss a chance to tell you what you are malicious and poisonous creature. In this case, there is nothing left but to build a virtual wall between you.

Veronica 26 years

I recently joked around like this: when you take out someone from social networks, you still have to squeeze all the likes you like and otretvit back all creations. This is what I am for: the last one of my young man whom I threw out without leaving for another city, changing my name, sleeping with all the people on the planet and shooting himself, but as a normal person, explaining everything in detail, he did something like that - me from all social networks. At the same time, he checks everything every day and after a hysterical screech "Never write to me !!!" He writes me himself. I had to block it.

Delete and add again

Sometimes the decision to remove a person from his own virtual life comes in the heat of passion after a hard parting, but over time it turns out that you are still close people who do not care what happens in each other’s life. And then it does not matter who was the first to decide to admit it and went for a virtual reconciliation - you or him.

Laysan 28 years

A couple of years after breaking up, we added each other again, but I didn’t want to see his notices: he is doing well, a new girl, like even pregnant. And how! I thought he hates me, and he, it turns out, was signed with me the whole time. And he told me about this his new girlfriend, who for some reason began to write to me. Probably, it happens: some exes are added again and silently watch my life, and then suddenly they like or write two words under the photo, and you go in shock for the whole month.

Do not delete or chat

If the separation has passed smoothly, almost imperceptibly, the option "not to remove from friends, but also not to communicate" is best suited. Now you can be a silent witness of his life passing by you, without commenting on her in any way. It’s just a way to gradually nullify communication, without drawing each other into a grueling showdown. And about him, in most cases, do not even have to notify each other.

Lena 21 years old

I asked not to write to me and not to ask, how are you, explaining that by saying that after breaking up, the communication goes strained. If he writes me that everything is good with him, a new girl he loves, and everything, I will still be jealous, even if I have parted with my friends, if I am to him - the same thing. That is, subconsciously, I do not want to hear "Hi, I am fine, I'm happy," because I read in this, "Hi, I'm fine, I'm happy without you." Probably, others may rejoice over their ex, but for this I probably need at least a wonderful husband and two daughters so that I can say: "I am happy." At the same time, I consider it odd to remove friends from my friends, if we are not completely disastrous.

Stay friends

If intimacy has exhausted itself, but you have not ceased to be intimate people, it is strange to endure a person from friendliness just because you no longer live together. After all, he still runs the best molecular molecular blog and still loves to send you pictures of sleeping owls.

Olya 29 years

I suddenly broke up with my husband on Skype, after which the communication through all online methods of communication became richer and longer, as there were immediately a lot of things to discuss, and a lot of jokes to joke. Facebook has been renamed from married to brother / sister. In general, an extremely boring situation.

Illustration: Masha Shishova