Threesome sex guide: How to organize it so that everyone is ok
Text: Tatyana Nikonova, author of Sam Jones's Diary sex blog
Threesome is not the most difficult thing for decisive sex researchers, but the question most often comes up against organizational issues. Two and then sometimes find themselves at a dead end, wondering what to do for mutual satisfaction, and the "tees" at times increase the number of various options and related difficulties. All of them, of course, in one text not to consider, let's deal with the most common.
You are in pair
Sex with a guest party is perceived by many as a painless alternative to treason, but without serious consequences: if you are together looking for adventure, then non-steam sex, as it were, did not happen. In a sense, this is the case: treason consists in deception and violation of agreements, and joint forays into foreign territory do not include any lies. The main thing is that both of you like it, otherwise everything will get worse. You can part with the changed partner or put the question squarely, but if you went to the experiment of your own accord and were disappointed, then your responsibility is here too.
How to organize: discuss what you both want. Perhaps for you, sex for three is an energetic simultaneous double penetration under Rammstein, and for a partner, rubbing oil on each other without hands. It is not necessary to paint the script in detail, but you should know that you are aiming for about the same thing. And that you both really want, and do not submit to the pressure of the partner. Last, and even with the participation of a stranger, it will be dangerous to border on rape.
The main problem: find a third or third. Stay realistic and use a path where you are able to behave frankly. There will be this application for the dating, a tackle to a loner in a bar or at a party, a visit to the swing club or a proposal for old friends - it does not matter. It is essential that you feel comfortable and feel free to be shy. Send a message to a friend that you got drunk and playfully tuned, if you haven’t discussed this possibility before, it’s pretty useless, it’s not a telepath. Look where the power to express yourself is shown, you can flirt and feel relaxed.
You are a guest star
A great opportunity to squeeze the maximum out of sex without any consequences (suppose you are all reasonable people, you protect yourself very hard and regularly take tests), including emotional ones. She arrived, had a lot of fun, left, maybe in the future she repeated, or they began to make friends and meet on barbecues, or forgot how everyone's name is. No matter what the composition of the couple with whom you meet - men, women, undecided - remember that you have the right to set your boundaries, flatly give up what you do not like, but also specify details. By default, treat potential partners as not very reasonable people, let them prove the opposite.
How to organize: The easiest way is the dating applications. Couples often get to know each other, directly indicating what they want. Heterosexual couples usually put on a woman a photo, but sign "we get acquainted as a couple." Do not believe the statements "wife is bisexual," until you yourself talk to her. Organize your first meeting in neutral territory - the usual rules for safe dating also apply here. If you meet at a hotel or in another rented territory, immediately find out who pays for what, and do not hesitate to offer what you can afford, if the offers from that side seem expensive. It happens that a couple offers to take all the costs on themselves, especially if you are young and still not earning enough, so decide in advance how much this is acceptable to you. And do not assume that a hotel room and a bottle of prosecco obligate you to something.
The main problem: can feel used. Most often this happens when dealing with heterosexual couples, where the initiator of a three-person sex is a man, and the woman plays along with his desires. In such cases she is not very active, she pays the main attention to the man, she takes your caress indifferently and shows off a lot - but, alas, not from excitement, but from competition. You are just an extra mist in this fight, take your feet off, let the dysfunctional alliance with your problems understand. Worst of all, if a woman is obviously in a subordinate position: she does not need experiments in bed, but a psychological assistance service.
You and two strangers
If you have two acquaintances with whom you sometimes meet, so why not introduce them and stir up the three of them? They have a lot in common - you. You are aware of their preferences, they are aware of yours, you trust each other, it remains only to build bridges between two potential participants in the process. Of course, there is a chance that this is not included in their plans, therefore, it is worthwhile to act delicately and be able to retreat in time.
How to organize: Step One: Feel the soil. Perhaps your relationship did not require complete awareness and each of them does not know that you have another lover or lover. Therefore, to begin with, it is necessary to clarify how they would react to this. Was everything ok? Step two: tell everyone with whom you are still dating, but without details. And in the imagination everything could arrange them, but in reality, jealousy and a desire to fill the opponent’s face wake up. Do not give them such an opportunity until you are sure that everything is in order. Step three: share your fantasies and evaluate the situation. If there is no obvious rejection, offer to meet and discuss. Step Four: Make a Neutral Meeting. This is not about security, but about emotional comfort. Leaving, by slamming the door, out of the apartment, where you often go, is a little dangerous - they can not let me back in. If you respect their feelings and try to make sure that both participants do indeed voluntarily, and not out of fear of losing contact with you, exclude the possibility of involuntary manipulation on your part.
The main problem: competition, jealousy and attempts to remain the only player. All this becomes noticeable at the preliminary meeting stage. Reciprocal subring, self-praise and hints of the inability of another to provide everything necessary for your pleasure clearly say that it is better to put a cross on a venture. You can always say that you changed your mind, and they are both so cool that you would prefer to give everyone your full attention when you meet and never share with anyone. And this is most likely true, otherwise why are you sleeping with them at all?
Two women, one man
Sex with two women for many men a fair fetish and a dream. Reasons enough. For example, a hero may present himself as a sex giant capable of satisfying two women at once, or he draws himself sweet pictures of seducing women who are enthusiastically pleasing each other. We will not go into now how such a fantasy deals with lesbian relations (in short - exploits). Such dreamers at least do not think that women may not have any particular interest in each other, or in general, not be bisexual. Therefore, a woman herself is often sent for reconnaissance of a couple: if a new acquaintance suits her, the man is likely to be fine too.
How to organize: decide what you want from threesome sex. It is not necessary that you also want a woman, just her or your generosity with respect to a regular partner. But it is necessary that the girl understands that you will not get to her in this case. If you are fascinated by the idea of sex with two sexes at once, please be patient, lubricants and means of barrier contraception. Beautiful, harmoniously wriggling bodies appear only in fictional reports from sex parties. Life is always full of awkwardness, inability to explain, inability to concentrate or the need to be distracted by protection. There is nothing terrible about it, just the number of foolish moments increases as the number of participants increases.
The main problem: you are suddenly tired. Seriously, it is difficult to imagine a more idiotic situation: she dreamed, fantasized, but in the process it turns out that this is not so interesting. The exit is simple - step back and masturbate. That is, you seem to be in, but not involved. If sex has completely ceased to interest you, do not torture yourself, dump some tea, and let the two have fun. Even if you are a guest star, this is not a problem, because no one wants to stop for a polite farewell at the door. Say that the fuse is gone, go to the bath lie down, and then, perhaps, continue.
One woman, two men
The idea of such a configuration outside of pornorolikov many men is terrifying, but in fact for women it is often a much more advantageous scenario than the ZHMZH. Firstly, it is impossible to leave competition completely, and men, especially those unfamiliar, tend to dismiss the tail and how they should give all the best in the presence of other men. Secondly, men are less likely to recognize their bisexuality or imitate it, so the woman gets twice the attention and stimulation. Thirdly, how should an inflamed woman - a fountain of energy, sometimes one man is simply not enough, and two - just right.
How to organize: if you have a regular partner, give him control of the process. In any orgy, even such a tiny one, there should be a moderator, let them be a husband or a boyfriend, while your head turns off from double pleasure. Give him an explanation with his third partner regarding acrobatic poses. Men in bed are often afraid of even touching each other, therefore, if you yourself become a driver for everything, you’ll have to think not about yourself first of all, but about how one man’s ass will not face another man, which is why everything will fall. Why do you need to strain so much? Delegate control to the partner, he will avoid delicate situations on autopilot. If you are a loner, try not to meet with a couple of men who constantly practice threesome sex in this design. Most likely, they already have their favorite poses and approaches, they act as an established team, and what you need specifically for you can remain behind the scenes. For the first experiments, recruit partners who have not yet found themselves in bed.
The main problem: security. One man can be dangerous, and the idea of being alone with two, from whom you do not know what to expect, will frighten even the most relaxed and sex-hungry woman. One of the solutions is swing clubs. There are a lot of people, conflicts are being watched, it is easy to stop unpleasant interaction, and it is even easier to replace one of the un-liked partners with someone else. You can come to the club alone, you can with a man, it all depends on your mood, psychological readiness and, possibly, marital status.