Work, joy or play: What is the future of sex
IN THE PUBLISHING HOUSE "ALPINA NON-FIXATION" THE BOOK IS OUT Daria Varlamova and Elena Foer "Sex: From Neurobiology, Libido to Virtual Porn," a popular science guide at the interface of biology, cultural studies, and the history of sexology. With the permission of the publisher, we publish an excerpt in which the authors discuss how the last half century has changed the approach to the study of sex and the understanding of sex as such.
The future of sex: for joy or for reproduction?
Since homo sapiens began to think about the meaning of various phenomena in their lives, a lot of answers to this question as applied to sex have appeared: affection, lust, procreation, pleasure, status. But whatever the key reason in each particular case, for thousands of years, breeding has often been a weakly preventable side effect. Of course, there are always ways to avoid semen entering the vagina (for example, condoms from sheep guts), and quite dangerous folk methods of abortion, but they did not differ in their effectiveness or safety. The situation changed only in the second half of the 20th century, when condoms were no longer associated with licentiousness (which means, it became psychologically easier to buy them), and in addition, hormonal contraceptives appeared, providing protection against unwanted pregnancy, close to 100%. This means that if desired, it became possible to almost completely control childbirth. Small pills with small doses of female sex hormones changed the very nature of sexuality: people were able to truly share sex "for pleasure" and "for reproduction." And it turned out that these are so different ways that it’s worth describing them separately.
For breeding
It would seem that can change in this process, if you call it the main purpose of reproduction? Quite a few, deciding to have a child, simply cease to protect themselves, but otherwise their sex remains the same. But in some cases (and this depends not only on difficulties with conception, but also on the desire of future parents "to do everything right") the course of reproduction changes not only sex, but also the way of life in principle. Even a completely healthy couple may take up to a year to conceive, not to mention that various health problems at this stage are not uncommon. For a year of waiting for a desired pregnancy, it is possible to read and write on the Internet’s forums, which is why reproductive sex in terms of the diversity of myths and rituals around it becomes like an extremely complex ritual.
Sites dedicated to motherhood recommend seriously changing habits: "Planning for pregnancy is inextricably linked to lifestyle changes - few people can boast of an absolute absence of bad habits, healthy nutrition and constant physical exertion. A healthy lifestyle is extremely important if you try to conceive a child." This widespread point of view sounds very doubtful: if pregnancy was available only to people who eat organic farming and run a couple of kilometers in the morning, the population of the Earth would not only be smaller. Our view would not live to the present. Other tips concerning preparation (for the time being only preparation!) For conception, regulate what medicines should not be drunk, what household chemicals should be abandoned, how to change the diet and daily regimen. Then we turn to the recommendations relating to the sex itself. Calculating the date of ovulation, measuring basal body temperature using a rectal thermometer, calculating the recommended amount of sexual intercourse per week (usually two or three are advised for sperm to mature) is a standard set. In addition, there are recommendations for postures: if you put a pillow under your pelvis, they write on the maternity portals, “more sperm will go inside”. For the same purpose, women are advised to raise their legs after sex up or at least lie down for 15-20 minutes. But we will not describe the whole variety of folk remedies to increase the probability of conception — from calculating the days of the lunar calendar to using herbal decoctions — you can write a whole separate book about this.
All the tips given above were collected on sites that were not checked by anyone, where among the authors it is extremely rare to find doctors. But in fairness it’s worth saying that if you look at the encyclopedia of one of the world's most respected medical clinics, the Mayo Clinic, it turns out that not all of these tips are invented by anxious future parents. "If you want to have a child, do not rely on luck," the Mayo clinic doctors instruct readers. And then you can find a list of clear recommendations.
First, you need to carefully monitor ovulation and not only measure the basal temperature, but also pay attention to how the vaginal discharge changes. Secondly, sex on the day of ovulation is not enough. The recommended frequency of sexual intercourse - every day or every other day. If so often does not work, then after the end of menstruation sex should be practiced two or three times a week. Thirdly, a normal weight - a pledge of no problems with ovulation, and therefore it is important to maintain it. Fourthly, you need to give up certain habits, namely smoking, alcohol and coffee abuse, as well as intense physical exertion (they also reduce ovarian function).
What is left about sex itself and the joy of it? Of course, everything is individual. But one of the inhabitants of the "mother" forum said that the doctor in the antenatal clinic instructed her like this: you need to remember the main thing - sex is for her now work, and it should be done well. The metaphor of an unknown doctor summarizes all the above recommendations: reproductive sex is a result-oriented process, requiring responsibility and adherence to a number of rules. And if at the same time you manage to have fun - well, you are lucky. This is not possible to all.
For pleasure
In the past, the definition of sex sounded very simple: everything that involves the contact of the genitalia (in very prehistoric times exclusively male and female) is called sex. This definition, with the exception of specifying the gender of participants, is preserved in modern medical reference books. With all the simplicity to call it exhaustive difficult. Oral sex, anal sex and thousands of other options that cause a sexual response and is considered by participants as an intimate interaction, were overboard. Discarding them at a time when sex was aimed mainly at reproduction, it was natural. But today, when most of the time people make love, not planning to have children, it is at least strange to focus on the contact of their genitals. In order to gain sexual satisfaction, a heterosexual man does not necessarily need a living woman: he has porn, masturbators and his own hands at his disposal, not to mention experiments with apple pies and other random objects. This principle works in a different direction: the habit of talking about sex in terms of penetration binds us, though not so clearly, to the need for the penis to participate, which in practice is far from the truth. And this is not obvious to most revelation, fortunately, is already beginning to manifest itself in popular culture - the love scene between a girl named Missandea and a hero who survived the castration in the popular game "Game of Thrones" created a real sensation on the Internet. This suggests the idea that modern recreative sex is no longer connected with the peculiarities of physiology, but with what happens in the head (and the nervous system as a whole) of the participants. Do they perceive what is happening as a sexual adventure? Have arousal? Have fun? With this approach, a lot can be considered sex: from licking the fingers of a partner to classical petting. And you can go even further: modern technologies allow sexing, masturbating when the webcam is on, and even get a pair of vibrator + masturbator gadgets, synchronize them from different continents, and feel the touch of a partner from a distance. And if we put in the first place not anatomical details, but sensations and mental processes, all this is no less than full-fledged sex than what happens when the lights are off between two representatives of some religious community, where people adhere to the most traditional ideas about making love. So, there is no need to chase the canonical variants of coitus - you can relax and enjoy in all available ways. Inspiring thought, isn't it?
What's next?
Imagine that you are scared to cook desserts. You are inspired to bake "Napoleons" and meringues, beat the squirrels and roll the dough. All this gives you great pleasure. At some point, your child is returning from school and says that by the nearest Big Autumn Ball you will be the main supplier of sweets for the whole school - he agreed on everything! After that, he proudly gives you a list of what should definitely be on the holiday table, indicating what food allergies a part of schoolchildren have and what some cannot eat because of religious restrictions. You understand that it is necessary to cook this whole mountain of sweets in parallel, otherwise you will not have time, and in a certain order. And on the right day takes the case. You need to make sure that soy milk does not fall into the jar from under the cow, and the nuts were far away from the pan with desserts for allergy sufferers, so that everything goes in the right order and is not confused. In short, you work. Would it ever occur to you to regret that behind all this mountain of work you have neither the strength nor the time to enjoy the process? Hardly. Most likely, in a month or two, you will prepare a small pie exclusively for yourself and even then enjoy the process as it should. Or maybe you even decide to cheat and entrust the preparation of a mountain of sweets for the school to a familiar bakery.
This detailed metaphor helps to explain how things are going on with reproductive and recreational sex now and what may change in the future. Of course, there are quite a lot of women in the world who become pregnant by chance, and couples who simply cease to be protected - and a child appears right on schedule. But there are many of those for whom conception is a real job, coupled with stress, additional conditions, long wait. And to experience in such cases due to the fact that sex has ceased to be fun, about the same thing as worrying when cooking thousands of eclairs does not please as much as the preparation of five. That is why, speaking about the future of sex for reproduction, it is logical to assume that minimizing stress and maximizing "performance" is exactly the direction in which this area of existence will develop. Already there are quite a few assisted reproductive technologies - and they will continue to multiply. It is unlikely that people will ever stop having sex for reproduction at all, and instead there will be giant factories for the production of children - even if someone switches to completely artificial methods, old-school fans will always remain. But it is likely that future parents will be able to simplify conception with the help of high technology and continue to enjoy intimacy without exhausting struggle for reproductive outcome.
What about recreational sex? It also changes, though in a different way. And it's not about new generations of sex robots and super-vibrators, but about the process itself. In profiles on English-language dating sites, no, no, yes, and there is an abbreviation GGG. It means Good, Giving, Game - that is, qualities that define a good lover: he is good in bed, devotes a symmetrical amount of time to a partner or partner and is able to "support the game." However, the perception of sex as a game arose not only with the appearance of this abbreviation - it is much older. In Russia, the reason is mostly for the sex geeks, but the further, the more widespread such a comparison is. After all, if you remove the reproductive function from sex (albeit temporarily), if you give up for a minute the idea of sex as a kind of "mystery between two lovers", then the game remains - a kind of activity that people do for fun and in the way they like it. And it is not surprising that with the development of technology opportunities to play it becomes more and more.
Photo: Wikipedia
