I don't want anything: What to do if nothing is interesting

Probably, this happened to everyone: you wake up one morning with the feeling that everything is fed up, life is a complete routine and today nothing interesting will happen. And tomorrow too. And the day after tomorrow. Why do we lose interest in life and everyday affairs? And how to return the drive and dedication?

Immediately make a reservation: we are not considering the situation of a depressive episode. It can be suspected if you not only lost interest in life, but more often cry, feel movement or speech are inhibited, you are ashamed of your condition, you are constantly irritated, you have changed weight or relationship with food (increased or decreased appetite) or the sleep pattern has changed (insomnia, difficulty falling asleep, or, conversely, increased sleepiness). In this case, be sure to reach the psychotherapist. Check with a neurologist and endocrinologist also does not hurt.

But what if you are healthy and generally feel normal - just life has become somehow fresh? With what it can be connected? And will life really never be exciting again? Let us calm down at once: no, it is not forever, and such crises are generally normal. We understand how it turned out that interest and drive somewhere have disappeared from your life, and what to do about it.

"What if it is old age?"

People at twenty-four to twenty-five years often recall how much fun it was, say, at seventeen. And thirty-thirty-five say that at twenty they had much more interests and forces, and so on. In general, even very young people have the urge to compare themselves more youthful with the present. Usually this does not happen in favor of the “current”: “Do you remember how we at twenty could fall for each other without an invitation? And now ...”; "Do you remember how we slept for three hours before couples, because we walked all night after the concert?" Such comparisons are disheartening: goodbye, past freedom, and welcome to a dreary adult life.

At the same time, we often do not notice that the comparison takes place according to one criterion, such as how active we are or how diverse our interests are. Other circumstances, such as the need to wake up on an alarm clock every day and spend eight to ten hours at work, mortgages, children, financial and family or partnership obligations, are not taken into account. Although if you like your work, partner or children, they are in some sense also your interest - that in which you invest strength, time and attention. So one cannot say that with age people necessarily become less interested - rather, they become more stable.

And, of course, no age is a hindrance to discovering new things and getting involved in something. Indeed, entering into adulthood, we lose the opportunity (and often the desire) to be maximalists: you can no longer give up food, sleep, and all your daily obligations if you are carried away by the creation of sites or historical reconstruction - if only because you need to live somewhere and there is something. In addition, in his youth, hobbies and interests are formed as if by themselves: a friend began to go on karate and calls to join, a theater studio appeared in the institute - I will go and try my hand.

After twenty-five to thirty years for many people, this stream is drying up: the environment in which we find ourselves is increasingly focused on earnings, career, or family. And then you have to learn a new skill - the ability in an adult, already quite busy life to build a space specifically for new interests. This requires moral "permission" to myself: I can be frivolous or frivolous, not thinking about things day and night. I can specifically set aside time for entertainment, a hobby or just walking in the woods and not feel guilty or guilty about it - and make it part of everyday life.

"I'll wait a little more ..."

Sometimes a lack of interest in life says that we are treading on the "passed" level, losing interest in what is happening around. And there seems to be even ideas and desires that I would like to embody, but it’s impossible to start them. Taking on a new thing is always scary, and especially when it is something fundamentally new. For example, I want to start my own business, but I don’t even understand from which end to take it. I have never lived with anyone, but my partner offers to move in, and I think I want to try. I really want a child, but I don’t know how this will change my life (and I’m not sure that I will like these changes). I want to move to another country, I want to change my profession, I want a house by the sea, and so on.

The scale of our desires sometimes scares us. And then it is easier to lie to yourself something soothing to put them in a long-long drawer. Supposedly, you need to prepare for another three to five years, earn some more money on old and unloved work, live a little apart and take a closer look, go through one more checkup before planning a pregnancy, and even go to the dentist ...

Preparing for large projects is important, but it should be completed at some point. And you need to understand that you will not feel absolutely ready or ready - it is simply impossible. At some point, it's time to just start acting. And if fear and excuses outweigh not the first month or even the first year, it may be worth discussing it with a psychologist.

"I want to become more confident"

By goals, people most often understand concrete achievements. And they are addicted to the race for them: passed the project - take two more, earned a flat - now earn another, even more. But targets can also be intangible things, and even states. For example, if I have never felt good and confident in life, but I would like to - this is also a goal. Or if I have a good job, but not enough human warmth. To add something that is badly lacking to life, or, conversely, to remove something superfluous (an unfriendly and non-supportive environment, a feeling of constant time pressure, a sense of inferiority and insufficiency) are also quite ambitious goals.

True, to solve this problem in the same way that material achievements are obtained, most likely will not work. There is not enough rational alone. Rather, care for oneself, readiness to explore and understand oneself, and constant attention to one's feelings are required. Having established contact with his own emotions, a person gradually begins to understand what makes him happy and causes enthusiasm, and that is just the opposite (because of what we lose interest). Sometimes it takes more than one year. An appeal to a psychologist and practices aimed at establishing contact with feelings and bodily sensations can help; diary, written exercises, and meditation.

"I do not want to work"

Ignoring the feelings in general often leads to the fact that we lose interest in life. Curiosity, the desire to do something requires that we feel good: it is very difficult to be easy-going when a huge lump of anger, resentment, disappointment and fear stick together inside. Curiosity arises when basic needs are met, when we are not under stress due to lack of money, strength, because of the attacks of loved ones or colleagues, because of conflicts. In conditions when we cannot satisfy basic needs, it is much more difficult to be interested in something - I want to hide under a blanket.

So the loss of interest in what is happening, such as unwillingness to go to work (study) or return home from there, unwillingness to get into some communities of people or places, may be due to the fact that we do not feel safe in these places and with these people . This is a reason for reflection, and perhaps to work with a specialist - a psychologist or a coach. The ability to create a comfortable living space, to distinguish between safe and unsafe contacts and to give up the second if possible is a valuable skill that everyone needs in principle.

"I want everything at once"

Strangely enough, devastation and loss of interest are often felt by enthusiastic people who are interested in everything around. So you do not want to miss something, that a person is gaining more activities, activities and hobbies for himself than he can physically and emotionally pull. Life in a big city with a huge number of events, activities and acquaintances partly provokes such a lifestyle. For example, if you have a wide circle of communication, which includes the same active people, you constantly get offers to go somewhere, go, see this and that, do something interesting. It’s not so easy for some people to say: “Sorry, I won’t be able to do it this time” - and they try to manage to visit three places in one evening, fly abroad over the weekend and go to work directly from the plane on Monday morning. As a result, burnout occurs and you no longer want anything.

If this is your case, it would be good to think why you are so afraid of reducing activity. Do you have an example of loved ones, family members who seem not to be interested in anything, their life seems empty and boring to you - and you are afraid of becoming like them? What kind of person would you like to see yourself and how does the number of events visited and people met affect this vision? In whose eyes it is important for you to look like an active, tireless person? It is important to understand that life at a frantic pace and an interesting life are two different things. Flickering bright colors eventually merges into one solid gray.

Photo: PinchePin, MiGoals, Vladimir Liverts - stock.adobe.com