Question to the expert: Why are we talking to ourselves
alexander savina
RESPONSES TO THE MAJORITY OF US QUESTIONS we used to search online. In the new series of materials we ask such questions: burning, unexpected or widespread - to professionals in various fields.
Surely this happened to you: you catch yourself rehearsing in the bathroom for a speech at a ceremony where you are handed the main award (Olivia Coleman did this!), Or you have been scrolling for half an hour in your head that you had to respond to a friend in that very situation - and understand that, in fact, talk to yourself. We decided to turn to experts to find out why we are doing this and whether we should be worried about it.
Vladimir Snigur
psychotherapist, translator, clinical hypnosis specialist
People quite often engage in dialogue with themselves, thinking about something, planning or rehearsing their actions or, for example, considering past conversations. Why is this happening? The human psyche is not monolithic, it has different regions and processes - some more conscious, others more background, unconscious. Sometimes they are called ego states. When we talk to ourselves, we actually help different regions of our psyche to exchange information, coordinate actions and negotiate among themselves. Sometimes in these "inner voices" there may be voices of relatives or other significant people with whom we internally advise or seek support. One can imagine that all those important qualities and character traits with which we were fed from these people or characters acquire their lives within us in the form of such internal voices.
According to one of the central psychological theories, our mind from birth begins to perceive reality in a special way - by building and retaining in memory the internal relationship between I and the Other. If you do not go into details, each of our emotional experience necessarily contains in itself our sense of self and of a particular, or "invisible," addressee. In early childhood, mother usually becomes such an addressee, but then images of other important people gradually form in her head. As our development progresses, these inner images become more and more collective and generalized. Usually we do not think that people are social creatures by nature - on an instinctive level, we need others for development and a full life. This unconscious mechanism in the head sometimes chooses the addressee of one of the real people, sometimes - some internal part of us, sometimes - someone imaginary or even deceased. Through such real and imagined relationships, we perceive the world, experience and express ourselves and the whole gamut of our emotions.
By themselves, dialogue with oneself cannot be considered a sign of some kind of painful condition. It all depends on how much it interferes with the person's flexibility and efficiency to function and communicate with others. For example, if a person is so deeply immersed in an internal discussion that he has difficulty with attention, cannot normally maintain contact with people, or confuses reality with imagination, all this may indicate psychological distress. But any conclusions about disorders and disorders can only be made by a specialist, taking into account many other factors.
Catherine Ternovaya
psychotherapist
A person can speak out loud if he has a lot of thoughts right now - and reasoning helps him sort them out and solve the problem. This is similar, for example, to drawing up a to-do list. In addition, a person may experience intense emotions, and in the absence of the interlocutor (another person who can listen and sympathize) conversations with oneself can help cope with them.
There are also other situations - for example, when we conduct imaginary monologues with friends or acquaintances. When we talk to ourselves in this vein, we can, for example, unconsciously rehearse a complex conversation (the same areas of the brain are activated as in a real conversation), and we can also reduce the amplitude of emotions. In addition, at such times we feel more competent, it helps to support ourselves. In some cases, speaking the situation out loud allows you to take the position of an observer and notice important details.
At the same time, encouraging oneself (“It remains a bit, let's press it!”) Is a skill that is used in dialectical behavioral therapy. Cheerleading makes you feel better in a crisis situation. However, in practice, people criticize themselves much more often; sometimes they repeat words that they heard in their childhood from someone significant (a kind of "inner critic"). And also customers get used to scolding themselves, because they are afraid that if they stop, they will become “lazy” and “weak-willed”. In such cases, it is necessary to develop a new pattern of mental behavior - in therapy we go to cheerleading.
However, sometimes talking to yourself or commenting on your actions can be symptoms of a psychotic state. But in this case, others usually notice other changes in the behavior of a person — for example, that he is agitated or commits illogical actions. It is important to understand how much the conversation with oneself interferes with ordinary life, but in any case only a doctor can make a diagnosis.
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