Why do men advise soldering a girl and it's not funny

Olga Strakhovskaya

The last time we ran with the cries of the editorial board a month ago - then the Russian GQ published on the website the advice to the modern gentleman how to behave in a bath with prostitutes. Yesterday the story repeated itself, only this time the recommendations came from the neighboring FurFur edition, which was very friendly to us for even more modern gentlemen and young ladies who joined them. The guys released an entertaining and educational material "5 cocktails that will make the girl accessible," and this heading made our hair move in all places where epilation has not reached yet.

“This is a joke,” “you have no sense of humor,” “again for your own,” many will tell us in response and will be partly right. Yes, of course, this is a joke, but the fact that such jokes exist in public space, where one of the most pressing issues on the agenda is dating violence - a sign that something is too much wrong with public space. How funny can the file about five delicious cocktails be related to sexual abuse? You can, for example, recall the story of Tatiana Andreeva, who was brought to a motel in a dead state, and now she is in prison for murdering a man who deliberately brought her to such a state. Or an art protest by a student at Columbia University who dared to tell her that after her next meeting, her boyfriend took power on her own bed.

In pursuit of fun trolling, we somehow forget about social responsibility.

For the time being, for our part, we applaud students who are developing nail polish that is able to identify drugs mixed in alcohol (yes, you can’t achieve what you want with some alcohol, see Tatiana Andreeva’s story), the kids are joking. Of course, we also know how and love to joke "beyond the limits", and Louis C. Kay and Ricky Gervais have long been accustomed to us to charming humor, for which there is nothing sacred (we will definitely reflect on this in the near future). But, frankly, the headline "5 cocktails that make the girl accessible" we could still imagine only on the satirical site of The Onion with fake news.

In pursuit of a fun trolling, for some reason we forget about social responsibility - and yet the word spoken out loud, and especially to a multimillion audience, has a powerful fixing force. I want to believe that all FurFur readers are all right with a sense of humor and common sense, and, of course, it’s not a fact that the cheerful recommendation will necessarily fall on the ground heated by masculine values. But you have to understand that, by uttering such things, you legitimize discourse in which the man is the dominant party, and you need to pour in something stronger enough for the woman to say “yes”. And while this is happening, men will not hear the word "no", what was said too late, and society will make gender-biased verdicts: "got drunk, who does not happen," "got drunk, is to blame."

Photo: cover photo via Shutterstock