“What, don't you love daddy?”: Why do people change their first and last names

Many of us treat our name as given, which "do not choose." It’s great when your own name is like, but what if the letter combinations in the passport are not liked, they seem to be “strangers”, and sometimes they just interfere with living? We talked to people who deliberately changed their first name, last name, or abandoned their middle name.

My parents called me Lena - but it always seemed to me that this was an “alien name”, which for some reason I must respond to. In my kindergarten age, I mentally played the game "What would I have been called if ..." - but no invented version was stuck for a long time. In high school, I solved the problem like this: I began to introduce myself by last name and asked me to be called simply "Kazantsev". I was very upset when friends and friends switched to Lena. I thought: what is so complicated - to address me as I like myself?

Since the surname is "mnogabukv", soon the surrounding people began to call me abbreviated "Ka". And I really liked this option! I lived most of my adult life under this name and even indicated it on business cards. All this time I was pondering what to do with the data in the documents? I understood that "Elena" was not exactly happy with me there, but she wasn’t even sure about "Ka". I wanted to write in the passport some conventional conventional name, which would be combined with the patronymic. Then I did not know that the middle name can be removed from the passport at all.

I thought about all this for about ten years, and then I accidentally found out that a colleague had just recently changed her name in the passport. It turned out that legally everything is not as difficult as it seemed to me. I was afraid that when changing the name, it was necessary to urgently run to reissue the documents for real estate, bank cards and the TIN - but it turned out that with all this you can not rush. The main thing - to keep with you a certificate of change of name, which is issued in the registry office. It all happened very quickly: almost immediately I realized that I was madly in love when the girls were called Sasha - and I decided that I myself wanted to be Sasha Kazantseva. Employees of the registry office were unexpectedly friendly and I was given a certificate of name change right away. I was amused by the wording in the column "Causes" - they indicated "I wish to bear the name of Alexander".

I received a new passport a year and a half ago. Now I have completely "delivered" a new name and got used to it. I like to be Sasha, I like to introduce myself by this name, and I am very glad that I decided to make changes.

Now my name is Ruslan Aleksandrovich Savolainen, and before that I was Ruslan Mehmanovich Petukhov. In the third year of university, I studied genetics: to get a credit with an automaton, I had to make my own genealogical tree. While I was doing this work, I found out that my grandmother was Finnish, and her maiden name was Savolainen; in the Leningrad region there is even an abandoned settlement Savolaynen Khutor.

For six months I traveled through the archives of St. Petersburg, visited the church archives in the Leningrad region, and even visited Finland - the place where my ancestors supposedly lived. I heard stories about my great-great-grandfather Savolainen and found out that he was buried on the Champs de Mars. Then I decided to take the name of the ancestors - now I am the only one in the family who wears it.

Middle name changed at the same time with the last name. Firstly, I did not like the old, secondly, it came to me not from my father. Everything is difficult with his father's name: his name is Al Jundi Nabil Abdel Hafiz Jabara. Therefore, I simply entered in the registry office the first option that I came up with - Aleksandrovich. However, I perceive the patronymic in the modern world as a rudiment and I really don't like it when people ask me about it. At the same time, not all people with whom I meet, believe that Savolainen is really my passport name, not a joke and not a pseudonym. Some say that it does not fit with my dark skin, because "all Finns are fair."

Changing documents, I felt more comfortable psychologically. Now I really love it when they call me by my last name, and I strain when someone remembers my old data.

I have a long history with self-names. Until the age of twenty-five, I used my full at that time name Veronica and did not tolerate any abbreviations. I was very indignant when they tried to call me Vika, Vera, Nika or Ronya. Then I changed my country of residence and started Facebook - when registering, I used the short version of "Nika". From the long name I was tired by that time, and Nika called me Mom as a child, and these memories caused tender feelings.

Later, I myself made a coming out to myself as an gender person, and two years later I decided to take a gender-neutral first and last name. I did not think about patronymic then. The first thing I did was renamed Facebook. I took the name of Niko (it was important for me not to tear myself away from the “source code”) and added the grandmother’s maiden name Cherchenko. To my surprise, I could not rename the network "VKontakte": the system has requested a passport, which I have not yet updated. It seems to me strange and not customer-oriented that the Russian social network does not allow to freely enter a new name for itself. For gender and transgender people like me, this is a problem.

After some time I wrote a letter to my colleagues saying that now I have to apply in a new way. Replaced business cards, became a different way. All this happened not in one day, and I cannot say that it was simple: at first I was terribly shy. Changing the "name" is a very applied thing for me, but for other people it reflects my identity, and I don’t really like to explain something to someone about my personal life. It took me myself and the people around me to get used to it and understand that a new name is serious. Of course, so far not all acquaintances have mastered the changes. I do not press them: when people understand that a new name is important for me, they are gradually rebuilt.

This year I finally got together to change documents and at the same time decided to replace the middle name with one letter - N. Zags do not like to deal with "unusual" names: I was sent from one institution to another, sent to different employees, asked many questions. And if the change of name did not cause problems, then I had to talk about other data for a long time. The head of the registry office claimed that Niko’s name was a man’s name, which means I don’t take it to me: “How do people understand what sex you are?” I explained that my gender is indicated in a separate column of my passport and everything remains the same. As a result, overnight, I found a dozen examples of using the name "Niko" as a woman in different cultures (for example, in Japan). And the next day it helped me to convince the head of the registry office, referring to the reference book of Russian names of the 1970 edition. At the same time, they said to me at the registry office that if I write an application for receiving a “one letter” patronymic name, I’ll be guaranteed to refuse me. As a result, I stopped at the option of complete elimination of the middle name, the law allows it.

On the day when I applied to the registry office, I experienced such euphoria! I thought: "God, why did I decide this for so long? After all, you could live with a name that is close to me for many years!" Grandma liked the combination of my new name and her last name - especially her cheer that they can be rhymed. But I haven’t yet spoken to dad about the change of documents and, frankly, I fear his reaction. I am afraid that he may take my refusal from the patronymic to heart. But I am ready for this: I will tell him that this does not affect my attitude towards him, but reflects my values.

 

My name confusion began right from birth. When mom was pregnant with me, she announced to everyone that I was Lisa. Not Louise, not Elizabeth, but only Lisa. Everyone agreed, and since then, no other person has ever approached me. When it came time to do the birth certificate, they sent my dad to the case - as a reliable person. When my father returned, my mother looked into the document and saw that instead of her native Lisa there was some kind of Lays. "Is there such a name?" - asked mom.

Now my passport details are known only to employees of banks and visa centers, as well as doctors and teachers. And most of them have serious difficulties with reading and writing. So, I have many times turned out to be Tsagoeva, Zagarova, Tsagaraeva and mainly Larisa, but almost never - Laisa Tsagarova from the first time. For those around me, I always clarified that I was more comfortable with the appeal "Lisa", but if a person really likes the name of Lays, then I have nothing against it. However, it’s unlikely that I will respond on the street if they call out to Laisa - there is simply no habit.

The second name "appeared" during my first work on the radio. At that time, all the leading ethers took pseudonyms, and I decided: why am I worse? Especially since I was actually ready: my mother's name Volokhova was added to the name Liza. I always liked how it sounds! Later, I went to the television, but I considered the usual name strange to change. The most important thing for me is that no one asks what nationality she has for Liza Volokhova, and Laisa is constantly asked. Dialogue, which is repeated all my life, I should introduce myself "on the passport":

- Probably, you are from the Baltic? - Not. “And what is that strange name?” - I'm half Chechen. - Wow ...

Then there are options. At best, the person responds: "Oh, cool." It is not clear what exactly is fun, but this is just a universal and uncolored reaction. The remaining options are usually quite awkward. For example: "What does your dad do?" Here I always get a little lost, because the dad is an architect-builder - but it seems that the interested person is waiting for some more interesting answer. And, perhaps, my most "favorite" option: "I see. I personally personally think that there are no bad nations, there are bad people." Thank you guys, this is really what I immediately want to discuss after I introduced myself (no).

All my close friends and colleagues know about my roots and nontrivial name, and I myself got used to it for twenty-seven years. Only recently I performed in a public field as Lysa Tsagarova. Now I try to identify myself with this name, but I am very frustrated by the idea of ​​changing email, Facebook account and all that. It seems that talking about the name, which I avoided all my life, will inevitably happen all at once. But we have to start somewhere, so I agreed to tell my story here.

In the birth certificate, I was recorded as Nastya Guseva, and now I took the name of Neumann. I use passport information only in formal situations, and in friendly and informal circles I prefer to present myself as Jay. But changing the name still became one of the best decisions in my life.

During my school years, my classmates harassed me, gave me offensive nicknames, including those formed from my last name. And after my parents divorced, my mother used my surname to compare me in a negative way with my father and his family. And finally, the teachers addressed me by their last name precisely when they wanted to say something unpleasant.

About a year ago I needed to change my passport, and I decided that this was a great reason to get rid of the old “tail”. I googled "German surnames" - just because I love this language - and chose the one I liked the most. There were no particular technical difficulties: it only took to find the person who brought my birth certificate from my native city, and then convince the MFC that I have the right to reissue documents even without permanent registration. In any case, I was sure that it was better to run around the institutions once than to endure something unpleasant all my life.

The worst thing that I had to face in the period between “I wanted to change my last name” and “received new documents” is the regular devaluation of my decision by others. Seriously, the worst that can be said to a person in such a situation is “come on, cool surname!” or "don't you love daddy?" My former distinguished himself most of all. He tried to specifically call me by my old surname so that I would "love" her. Nevertheless, I was supported by many friends. Most of all, I was afraid of how my parents would react to my decision. For three months I did not dare to tell my mother that I received a passport with a new name. And when she confessed, she only laughed - they say, do not worry. I do not know how my father and his family reacted; they did not talk about it with me.

After changing my name, it became much easier for me. As if I let go of the cargo, which was with me for a very long time. My perception of myself has changed: now I see in a mirror not a person who suffers humiliation all his life and is forced to live not his life, but the one who has the right to vote and can change something. It became more difficult only that now some are interested in my nationality. This question always confuses me a little.

I am a transgender girl, and in the past the name did not suit me absolutely everything. Starting with the fact that the name was male, and ending with the fact that I just did not like how it sounds.

At eighteen, I went to the registry office and wrote a statement to change the name to Olivia, and instead of the middle name, take my middle name - Scarlett. I was denied almost from the threshold, even though I referred to the law. I had to contact the lawyers of "Legal assistance to transgender people." Together with their lawyer, we submitted an application to the court and proved that I have the right to change the name, like any citizen or citizen of Russia. And that time I immediately took the surname Queen - the Russified analogue of the word "queen".

Nine months after the change of documents, I realized that the name Olivia Scarlett still does not suit me, and decided to take my present name, Chloe. There was one problem: middle name. Then I did not know that you can simply "strike out", and was very worried. At that moment, I was saved by a friend who accidentally let out that he didn’t have any middle name in his passport - I was delighted and decided to remove my own too.

While I was changing names, there were a few funny situations. For example, “Olivia Scarlett” addressed me at an interview, and for about ten seconds I could not understand who I was talking about - because by that time I had already used the name Chloe. In general, after the final change of the name, I felt much more comfortable. The only problem, as with all rare and unusual names, is constantly asking me what my name is and they cannot always remember my name the first time.

I was not particularly worried about the reaction of relatives and friends. Many have become accustomed to my new data, and those who are not used will do it over time. I am glad that my experience inspired my girlfriend to also apply for a change of passport name, with which she was uncomfortable.

Photo: Kelly Paper, MLvtrade, bookybuggy - stock.adobe.com