"To the dead, I was drawn from childhood": I prepare the dead for the funeral
When we talk about funeral services, we often associate it with something gloomy and unpleasant, and few people can imagine that people who work with the dead every day can really enjoy what they do. Tanatopraktik Oksana Tomilina prepares bodies for the funeral: embalms, dresses and makes up the deceased so that their relatives remember them beautiful. We talked with Oksana about children's dreams, death and tanatokosmetics.
Interview: Sasha Koksharova
Childhood dream
According to the workbook, I am an orderly morgue. This job takes up most of my time. My responsibilities include complete preparation of the body for the farewell ceremony: I help pathologists to perform an autopsy, sews and rinses the bodies of the dead, puts them in a coffin and carries them to the ritual hall for the farewell ceremony. At the request of customers, I do a balsam and put on posthumous makeup (such services in the morgue are paid separately. - Note auth.). I also work as a private tanatopraktik: in different morgues in Moscow or in other places where the body is kept, sometimes even in hearses. I can go on a business trip to anywhere in Russia, if I pay the road. I deal with everything: from death masks, cosmetics and body reconstruction to disinfection and cleaning of premises in which the bodies of the dead were kept. Additionally, I work as a model, but this is more of a hobby: I agree only on those shoots that interest me. And yet - just a little draw, very rarely do portraits to order.
From childhood I was different in a flighty temper and protested when I didn’t like something. My mother prepared for me a clear program of life: skirts, dolls and plush toys - and I dreamed of a pistol and a typewriter. When the first pocket money my grandmother gave me came to me, I bought myself a toy machine gun with a laser sight — I sat on the roof of the house and tried to shoot at something, although I was not very willing to go out for a walk. Despite the fact that our city was small, it was not safe on the street, and on holidays I came to visit my grandmother.
I strove to hold the dead man by the hand, straighten his hair, tuck the coverlet. The funeral procession with the orchestra and flowers fascinated me too
She lived in a house that was inhabited by former factory workers, mostly of old age. Often neighbors died, and they prepared for the funeral with the whole house. The body of the deceased remained in the apartment. The relatives themselves washed him, dressed him, put him in a coffin, and for three days, according to Orthodox canons, the body was at home. As I recall, the first time I saw a dead man when I was five or six years old. They tried to drive me out of the room where the body was lying, but I really wanted to stay there. I can not explain it, but I remember that feeling: as if I was on the threshold of some important discovery, I felt admiration. The coffins were usually put on the table or on stools, and I got up on my socks to see the face of the deceased. Then my grandmother noticed that I strove to hold the dead man's hand, straighten my hair, tuck in the veil. Of course, the grandmother was in shock. The funeral processions with the orchestra and flowers, which used to go in small towns, fascinated me too. I stuck to the window when I saw them. I was afraid to admit it, but I was drawn to the dead from childhood.
When my grandmother died, I was completely overlooked. I generally could not be dragged away from the room where her body lay. And she continues to help me after her death. Eight years ago, I came to my grandmother's grave for the sole purpose: I needed her to give me a vector. I was already living in Moscow, but could not find myself, moreover, that I had always been a workaholic and started earning money from the age of twelve. I began by working as a florist, as an interior designer, as a manager, even selling sofas, and then working as an assistant producer. I had the strength and desire to work, but I didn’t know what to do next - it was not mine. On that visit to my grandmother's grave, I cried for a very long time.
Nurse Morgue
The next day I returned to Moscow. I then lived with friends in a rented apartment. When I went home, I immediately saw on the bedside table a ritual agent business card. I remember that I screamed: "Baba, everyone is alive?" It turned out that my neighbor met the guy and he left her this business card. I asked her to connect me with this person. A few hours later I had an interview, and the next day I was hired by a ritual agent. So, as if on the kick of my grandmother, I found a favorite job and a man with whom I lived for five years.
When I worked in a ritual, I often asked my nurses in the morgues to give me some instructions — I really wanted to work with the body. They kindly laughed at me, and then I could not even think that I would become a tanatopractor. Once I came to the morgue, where my good friend worked as an orderly, and while we were drinking coffee with him, I let slip about my dream. Then he began to teach me the basics of balm: first, in theory, then showed on the body what to do, and then gave me the tools. And when I started embalming myself, he looked at it and said: "You already did it."
Turned and pulled out joints, arthritis, stretching - this is a classic of my work. Everyone has heard that dead people are harder to wear: this is due to the fact that the muscles completely relax after death
Then I left the ritual and got a job as an orderly at the morgue, where there was a vacancy. At about the same time private orders poured over me on word of mouth, the world of ritual was very cramped. There are several colleagues in Russia whom I can call at any time of the day or night, ask about the nuances of balancing, or exchange emotions about the new cosmetics. I am self-taught, but a year after I started working at the morgue, I went to Novosibirsk, to Sergey Yakushin (the founder of a private Novosibirsk crematorium.- Approx. auth.), which does a lot to develop the culture of ritual business in Russia. There I received a diploma on tanatopraktik courses.
Mostly colleagues hate me, especially men. I did not fully understand why. On the other hand, what image do you have when you hear the phrase "nurse of the morgue"? Surely you think that this is a strong unshaven man with fume. These are the guys who worked for ten, twenty years and could not do anything, but here I came, “some kind of upstart” - they told me so many times in my face. There are really very few women among tanatopraktikov, most often they are engaged only in applying cosmetics. I think the reason is that it is physically hard work. A few days ago, I was preparing for parting the body of a man with the fifty-sixth size of clothes. It would seem that it was not the largest person, but while I was preparing it and putting it in a coffin, I pulled both arms and clamped a muscle on my back. About three broken nails generally keep quiet. Turned and pulled out joints, arthritis, stretching - this is a classic of my work. Everyone has heard that the dead are harder to wear: this is due to the fact that the muscles after death are completely relaxed and the body goes limp. Carrying dead bodies is terribly uncomfortable.
Death makeup
When I go to order as a private tanopathic, I take with me everything that I may need, the necessary tools and cosmetics occupy the back seat of the car and the trunk. My task is not to make the dead person as close as possible to a living person, but to create a new image. I always ask my relatives to give as many lifetime photos of the deceased as possible in order to try to reproduce the facial expressions, but this is almost impossible.
For posthumous makeup, I use specialized tan cosmetics, theatrical makeup and civilian cosmetics. I choose aerospace very rarely: only in those cases when the skin is very badly damaged and has already begun to rot, then it is impossible to work with a sponge or a brush. In these cases, cosmetics are applied using an airbrush - this is a special portable device that sprays the product evenly and does not hurt the skin even more. The main disadvantage is the poor selection of colors.
If everything is done correctly, the family will look at the dead man and see that the person they love is smiling. Tanatopraktik's task - to help relatives of the deceased easier to transfer pain
When I work with the bodies of women, for the post-mortem makeup I use the range in which they were painted during my lifetime, and I am obliged to choose colors that match the tone. In such cases, only civilian decorative cosmetics saves. I use only luxury: it is always well applied and does not roll down. I use theatrical makeup if there is no goal to keep the body for a long time, but you need to camouflage your skin. The set, which I carry with me, costs about two hundred and fifty thousand rubles. In addition to cosmetics, I need special tools for sculpting and reconstruction of the body. For example, a jar of wax in five hundred grams costs three and a half thousand rubles. And this is only one of a dozen jars that are in my arsenal. And of course, there must always be tools for balancing. For example, a needle trocar for pumping out excess fluids from the body costs twenty-five thousand rubles.
Unfortunately, not all people understand what I do, and I often hear questions from the discharge: "Why does it matter how to make up the deceased?" There is a difference. If everything is done well and correctly, then the relatives will look at the dead person during the farewell and see that the person dear to them is smiling, that he has a relaxed posture and an ideal complexion. Then the mind deceives people - so the pain of loss is muffled. The task of tanatopraktik is to help the relatives of the deceased to transfer this pain easier. I do so that during the funeral the relatives do not see the torment that the person suffered in the agony of death. Alas, death is rarely beautiful. By the way, I can't paint the living. My friends are often outraged: "You paint these, and we are worse?" I tried to draw arrows, but it turned out crooked. I can only gloss over the bruises after visiting a beautician.
Respect for the deceased
I would say that in Russia, with the funeral business, things are bad. Those close to each deceased should use the services of morgue attendants or call in private tatanopraktik, but this rule is not respected. The amount of work on the balm depends on the state of the body and on the tasks that the embalmer sets itself. For how long do you need to keep your body? In what conditions will it be stored? In any case, the most important thing in preparing the body is the safety of the ritual of parting, because the dead body is a potential breeding ground for infectious diseases. If the body is sent by plane or by Cargo 200, there must be a certificate for embalming.
Last year I was preparing for the funeral the body of a man from the United States. It was one of the most difficult orders, because the United States in terms of balm is ahead of the rest: there is complete balm - how to brush your teeth. The order was in itself very difficult: the man was very swollen and half bald - this is a terrible dream for the artist. If he was completely bald, I would just have painted her head completely. If he had a preserved hair - would make a neat border of the hairline makeup, and everything would be fine. A balding person needs to paint over the skin and leave the hair. Another difficulty was that the body lay in my morgue for a week and after balsamination it was transported for almost a week by plane to the USA. I worked on the body for a total of five hours - for just one makeup it took an hour and a half. Then I didn’t sleep the fourth day because of the work and was ready to fall from exhaustion and nerves, but then the translator gave me the words of relatives: "Thank you for doing everything in the best possible way." Such words from the mouth of the Americans - the best thanks.
I am in love with my work and do not see myself in anything else. It is difficult only when relatives inadequately treat either the deceased or me
During the years of work I didn’t have a single joint, although every time I’m worried when I’m waiting for an assessment by relatives. I try to treat all orders equally. Recently, colleagues at the morgue talked about how to be a soulless person in order to open the body of a child and not feel anything. Honestly, I do not see much difference between dead adults and children. For adults, probably, even more pity - they already have accumulated life experience and personal history.
When one of my acquaintances once again begins to say to me what kind of morally hard work I have, I reply that it is not hard for me. I am in love with my work and do not see myself in anything else. It is difficult only when relatives inadequately treat either the deceased or me. I believe that regardless of how much money a person has, how many relatives will be at a farewell, a funeral should be held with dignity. If people do not have money for a new vestment for a dead man, then it may be old things, even if they are paid, but the main thing is that they are clean. It seems to me strange to warn people about the need to bring clean clothes for the deceased. I will never forget how the body of a man who was fifty years old was brought to my morgue. The inconsolable widow sobbed, it was impossible to communicate with her, we barely reassured her and gave us a list of things that need to be brought in to prepare the farewell ceremony. She brought the things, and my colleague and I, when we began to dress the dead man, found that all things were indelible. I was very sorry for that man, but, unfortunately, this attitude is very common.
Not the end
I remember that I was preparing for the funeral the body of a young girl who had married a month before her death. The girl was incredibly beautiful, unfortunately, she was mowed down by a brain tumor. Shortly before her death, an operation was performed - there was a chance that she would help, but after that she lived for two weeks. Intolerable tragedy for loved ones, but her mother was very worthy, we were constantly in touch with her. She asked for my advice when she could not choose a tippet in order to cover her daughter's head. I just did not know which one I would have liked more. When she spoke to me, she ran into tears, but there was always a smile on her face. It was a warm sincere love of a strong man. When relatives relate to the deceased like this, it is extremely easy for me to work. After such orders grow wings behind my back: I feel how much I need.
When you need to prepare for parting young women - these are probably the most important and pleasant orders for me. Everything should look fabulous: manicure, makeup, hair. When relatives show me pictures during my lifetime, but I see that something else is better for posthumous makeup, then I offer my vision. For example, I can immediately understand that the nude tones will look good on the girl's face, or find that the makeup that the relatives have brought is not combining the makeup that they offer. As a rule, people agree with me.
I already have an oral expression of my funeral for loved ones. I want a black matt four-sided coffin, and so that there would be six tuks and one Christmas tree on the grave
When I came to the ritual, almost all my friends told me that I would become very cynical and tough. But today I can seriously say that I buried everyone as mine. One thing I am sure is: death is not the end. What exactly is there? I believe that there is nothing definite. Maybe someone will need to go into someone else's body, someone will remain among us, someone reaches the apogee of his development and goes to the final place of his stay.
I already have an oral expression of my funeral for loved ones - they have already learned it all. I want a black matt four-sided coffin. There is a certain place in the cemetery where I want to lie, I have not yet booked it. I want my grave to have six tuks and one Christmas tree. At the funeral, everyone must tell the memorable event associated with me. And I absolutely do not want anyone to cry. I want people to really have fun. It will be hard, but I wish everyone to rest and remember me as I was in life. I want to be buried in a black satin dress. I am Orthodox, but I am inclined to believe that I will be without a kerchief. The veil should be black - although it will probably look very gothic and relatives will be against it.
I can say with confidence that I have become exactly what I wanted to be. Dreamed of a pistol - and recently received a license to store weapons and bought a trauma. I always looked at motorcycles - seven years ago I became a pilot. Unfortunately, because of the work this season, a very small reel has turned out. And the most important thing is that I am engaged in the work I am burning. But I understand that neither my family, nor the society, most likely, will never be able to accept me completely: I do not at all fit into the idea of what kind of "girl" should be.
