"Going to your dream": Wonderzine readers sum up their year results
AT THE BEGINNING OF DECEMBER WE SUGGESTED READERSsummarize your results of the year and share them with the editorial Wonderzine. We received dozens of touching and insanely interesting letters from different parts of the world - from Perm to Hanoi: we learned how you fought for your dreams, experienced setbacks and what plans you have for 2017. As promised, we are publishing the brightest stories and sincerely hope that the experience gained over the past year will inspire us to make many big and small changes.
Margarita Abdyukova
21 years old, copywriter
Moscow
It happens, you live for yourself and you live, but at some point you suddenly begin to breathe and no longer stop.
At the age of five, I began to lose my sight. At first, myopia is common myopia, as in the opposite of a neighbor. It is treated simply, enough daily exercise. Two years of hard training and the first class in the first glasses with gold rim. In spite of constant ridicule, I proudly wore the entire elementary nose first, then the other. When I was in middle school I felt worsened. You know, when in a dream you need to call someone to help or run away, but you can't. So I could not see anything that I had seen before.
It only seems that the picture is blurred, in fact, the world around is depleted. Soon I was diagnosed with partial retinal death. This disease is incurable and can either stop or progress. I remember that at first my mother always wiped away tears, but for some reason I was not even surprised. Vision fell further. And now they say to me that I have an interesting case, they write a diploma on it. One, then the second, followed by a doctoral. At some point, I understand that it will be better no longer. And yet it is not as painful as the attempts of others to focus on the disease, whether it is the desire to help or scoff. In the seventh grade, my desk was standing at the board at arm's length, and my classmates called me Vanga. I remember being afraid of my turn to read out loud. Having squinted, I saw the letters, but fear covered my eyes, and I heard only ridicule from the rear desks.
I have never considered my capabilities limited, but many around have argued the opposite. Therefore, six months before the exams, I got into a special school for visually impaired children. For me it was a foreign world. Many children did not orientate at all in space, they poorly represented the reality surrounding them. What was my surprise when it turned out that I see much worse than most of them.
Many years have passed since that time, and I have long ceased to hope that I will again be able to see objects from afar. However, the last month of the outgoing year brought the incredible news that experiments on growing the retina of the human eye begin next year. This means that I have the opportunity to restore vision. These were my first tears of happiness. Throughout all these years, medicine was silent - and suddenly, all of a sudden, it was so. And it's not about whether the experiment will turn out or not. I had hope, a chance that hadn’t been there before. And I will be happy just to live at the time when I was given it.
Asya Volodina
21 YEARS, STUDENT
Simferopol
This year there was a lot of anger, pain and misunderstanding. Someone refers to the fact that the leap year, someone to the elections in America or the financial crisis. But it was a year of amazing beauty.
We talked a lot. We are me, my husband, my and his parents, friends and almost everyone who came under my hot hand, not excluding the cat. About what David Bowie and Umberto Eco were like, why the color eyebrows are cool, where to get the golden eyeliner, about how everyone is different and beautiful, about why # I can tell and no one should. And also about how important it is to talk with each other and with
yourself too. And how hard it is given. And as it is necessary simply because they have not yet found another way to solve problems and move forward.
This year I first went to the sea with tents, visited a model for a beauty shooting (I had funny green moles) and prepared ratatouille with my mother. We rented an apartment with friends, made repairs and survived. I am learning to overcome what makes me unhappy. It turns out not brilliantly, but my husband is next to me, he covers me - and together we learn to play in a team. By the end of this year, I realized something important: growing up is a process that began a long time ago and is happening to me right now.
It really was a year in two. So, we have become stronger and bolder than double. I do not exclude that even in the last minutes of the year something so cool could happen that it would overshadow all misfortunes and bring a lot of joy. What do you want.
Dana Komrad
26 years old, photographer and project manager
Cancun, Mexico
Calendar new year in the outgoing year coincided with the beginning of a new stage in life. For a year I drove six countries in Latin America and lived in two, tried out a new profession and returned to the old dream with new forces.
In January I flew to Colombia to teach English through a social program. Latin America has been a dream since student days, and this winter I actively began to put my plans into action. She worked in Bogota for six months, and then began the Great Latin American Journey: Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia and Mexico, where I still am. Hitchhiking, girl, freedom.
I kissed alpacas, climbed glaciers, went down the Amazon in the jungle, spent the night with the Indians, saw whales, almost drowned in the Caribbean. The trip fit in two and a half months, and sitting in a mountain village in Bolivia, I realized how I had changed. After five years of wandering and traveling, I am ready to open a completely new page.
It seems to me that the word "grow up" in our society is interpreted in two completely different ways. The first “grow up” is the parent “settle down”, quit dreams, settle down. The second “to grow up” is completely different: to abandon infantilism and the usual course of things, understand what your business is, and start working on the result. And set goals. I'm sick of driving and burning life in the simple consumption of countries. My personal plans for the next year do not go round the remaining half of the world at all. Now I want to open my business, get power in certain circles and make a lot of money. All year I was preparing for what I do now.
To sum up 2016 in two sentences? Can. In 2016, I didn’t scoop up capital, didn’t open a startup and didn’t earn my first million. But it seems that I have figured out how to do this.
Natalia Borisova
24 years old, product specialist at Odnoklassniki
St. Petersburg
The global gender reversal was a personal event for me. It manifests itself in different things, but for me personally this year, the real discovery was that a man should not. And a woman should not. I do not have to
be weak to emphasize the power of your man. I do not have to wait for him every day with dinner and polished floors. I can do it if I want it. But in any case should not. I can build a career. And I can do housework. I can be the way I want to be - myself. And when I do what I like, live as I like, then the right people turn up next to me, who share my interests, support me in my endeavors and generally love and accept me for who I am. And I am eternally grateful for that.
In 2016, I ended the relationship in which I was two and a half years old. They were ups and downs, it was a little life. Small and, unfortunately, mostly unhappy. All this time I tried to be someone else for this person. She was terribly afraid that he was what I am, he would not like me. And it really turned out to be so. But it also turned out that for who I am, I like completely different people, those who also like me. Those who share my aspirations and hobbies, who do not try to remake me and which I don’t want to remake.
In 2016, it seems, I have done more for myself than in my whole life. It sounds, of course, very loud, but now I feel that way. I traveled a lot, I moved away from my parents, I moved to live in the city of my dreams. I discovered relationships in which there is no room for violence, but mutual support, understanding and agreement.
2016 was a difficult year. I had to make decisions that not everyone liked. Decisions that met with rejection and misunderstanding, sometimes even ridicule. And yet this year I have grown a lot. And for that, I am eternally grateful first of all to my friends who were always there at a difficult moment. I am also grateful ... I do not know how to formulate it precisely. I am grateful to the information field that surrounded me this year. This is a large number of public confessions in the fight against depression. Stories about violent relationships. Flashmob #I'm AfraidTell. Sometimes it was too much. Sometimes it seemed out of place. But in general, all this helped me (and, I hope, not only me) to realize myself. Understand that I am not alone in my problems and experiences. Feel support. This is really important.
Daria Gorshkova
23 years old, photographer and videographer
Moscow
2016 for me is a year of new life steps, a year of discoveries. In the summer I graduated from the Institute of Television and Radio Broadcasting with a diploma in one of the most non-female professions - a film cameraman. Life at the institute was interesting, we filmed a lot, worked in film crews, participated in the process of creating film studios and television shows. We didn’t have many girls, and the coolest film crews and interesting projects were usually taken by the guys. The same happened with the graduation film. At the last moment, the director, with whom we worked before, chose my classmate as my operator, and I was left without a team.
For many years, there is a stereotype that the operator is a profession only for men. But male cameramen
sometimes they forget that in this case not only strength is important, but also responsibility, concentration and interpersonal skills. I had to deal with the diploma myself, which I did very well. I received my "5" and graduated from the institute with a blue diploma. I opened a whole world in which I am a fragile unemployed girl with a male specialty.
For several years, I collaborated with aspiring media production as a videographer. When I was called less and less for shooting, I realized that I couldn’t forever wait for the weather by the sea, and decided to take up my own development in this area. Ahead was the wedding season, I decided to make an instagram with my portfolio, resumed the group "VKontakte", did advertising in social networks. In less than six months, I took more than 500 gigabytes of photos and video files of happy people and events. I was taken for any orders: low-budget, complex, from other cities. Worked including thanks. And what was my surprise when after the wedding season my clients continued to reach out to me. Word of mouth worked with a bang.
Former classmates, having learned about my employment filming, began to apply in the hope of getting a job from me. Someone laughed at me, because “weddings are not cool,” and he counted my money by the eyes, saying that I earn more than my boyfriend, who, by the way, is also an operator. I can not say that everything happened as in a fairy tale: there were black bars, I made mistakes and worried so much that I wanted to give up everything. Because of the heavy technology, there were problems with my back, but even this could not lead me astray. Many customers still look at me disapprovingly, because I am a girl, but every time I prove to myself and everyone that I can and can do it!
In 2016, I did a lot of work on myself and realized that I was capable of a lot. Now I am just at the beginning. Doubt is necessary in anyone, but not in himself. The coming 2017 year of the rooster is my year, which means that I will get the rights, I will do my own workshop and start working in the cinema.
Evgenia Sharetskaya
25 years, SMM specialist
Permian
I traditionally sum up the results of the year on December 30th in my personal diary - I still keep the paper diary of a class from the sixth, although I am writing less and less in it. In it, I make plans for the coming year. So it was easy for me this time to open my records a little earlier and make sure that nothing of what happened to me in 2016 was planned for a year ago.
I always grabbed the opportunity to remain a child a little longer. Resisted growing up as best she could. therefore
In April, my mother brought me to the bank by the hand. I answered all the questions, filled out countless questionnaires. The answer came in twenty minutes: I was approved by the mortgage. I did not have money for repairs, only for a down payment, so I was looking for an apartment to come in and live. At the end of June, having overcome not only paperwork, but also knowing all the hassles of moving, I settled in a gingerbread house.
Until November, it was easy for me to overlook the economic situation in the country. I didn’t feel the crisis on myself, and in the meantime he had hit the company in which I was working, and in the second wave of “optimization” I was reduced. By the end of the year, I became an exemplary example of Russian reality - unemployed, burdened with credit. And while America chose between two candidates for the presidency, I chose between vacancies: a manager and a manager in some other field — everything that was on the labor exchange. At the same time, I finished my work at work, went to depressing interviews and thought a lot about what I aspire to and what I would like to do. I loved my work and colleagues very much and I was not at all ready to be cut. Therefore, there were many tears, worries, calls to mother and friends. It was my second "real" work, but the first truly loved one.
By the end of the year, I still have no work, I go to the interviews, but at the same time I do not consider 2016 to be bad or difficult. On the contrary, I think that it is very important - a year of changes. Probably, I became too static, and life demanded action from me. Despite all the love of planning, I try not to guess what will happen next, but I believe that everything will be fine.
What will I write in my diary for next year? What you need to stop being afraid. Fear is a non-constructive feeling: yes, perhaps something bad will happen, and perhaps it will not. Whenever I was worried about something, my fears were not confirmed, and, on the contrary, troubles waited in the most unexpected places. And I will not think of anything, as John Lennon said: "Life is what happens to us while we make other plans."
Elizabeth Murai
22 years old teacher
Hanoi, Vietnam
2016 was absolutely mind-changing in my life. I am 22 years old, I was born and raised in Moscow, but I never loved this city. Up until the middle of this year, my story was not very different from thousands of others: school, university, work, home. I managed to try my career as a marketer, a teacher (in English and history), an event manager and a waiter - it seems that I am one of those people who like to work a lot. But all this did not bring moral satisfaction: and the work seems to be good and interesting, and there is a roof over your head, and you have such friends
wonderful, but still some kind of heaviness and, if I may say so, lack of realization.
I think it all started with traveling - this is the first time I went traveling alone. At first there were the Netherlands - not to say that this was such a bold experience, but independent stay in another country gave time to think. When you are completely alone in the city, it does not distract you to outside entertainments, you can just walk along the streets or write something, think. Then I decided to quit my job in order to finish my suffrageism diploma: I got so carried away that I spent days at the Lenin Library and ended up writing all the work in two weeks. It was one of those pleasant moments when you feel your "neediness".
The graduation from the university also became a turning point for me: there are no more excuses, it's time to start living a different life. After graduation, I immediately started saving money for new trips, and the next was the Olympics in Rio (I applied for a long time, but I wasn’t sure if I could afford this trip). And this is a completely different story, but volunteering for a major international event is something that you need to try at least once in your life. I met hundreds of new people and opinions, learned to calmly relate to every nation, not to judge other people by the actions of their state leaders. I think this is very important now: my two best friends from Turkey and the Czech Republic, we constantly discuss world events from our youth points of view. People are so different and at the same time they are the same.
But the key event for me was the move to another country. After the Olympics, I returned to Moscow, where I was already waiting for a ticket to Bangkok (an attentive reader had already begun to condemn me for a wasteful way of life and constant travel, but I really worked very, very hard). My friend and I flew to explore several Asian countries and planned to return in late September. And did not return. After passing through Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam, we decided to stay in Hanoi - maybe for a while, and maybe forever. Сейчас мы уже третий месяц живём и работаем в этом удивительном городе: я работаю здесь учителем, а также удалённо занимаюсь одним интересным проектом для российской компании.
Я не герой нашего времени - я просто стараюсь наслаждаться этой жизнью и прожить её как-то осмысленно. Не знаю, что будет дальше, но то, что происходит со мной сейчас, мне очень нравится. Мне бы хотелось пожелать всем людям не бояться своих мечт и никого не слушать - окружающие так часто раздают ненужные советы, дезориентируя других. Хочется, чтобы в 2017 году ещё больше людей поверили в себя, свои мысли и стремления.
Агата Вишневская
Stockholm, Sweden
The year 2016 was a turning point for me - I made a huge leap from everything I was used to and left Russia. My young man and I have been walking towards this for a long time, we have been together for four years, most of whom have fought for this opportunity. The fact is that my family is strictly against relations with representatives of other nationalities. I
made her choice in favor of a guy of a different nationality. My father tried to do everything possible to forbid us to be together, but we, believing in a beautiful fairy tale about future happiness, made every effort to maintain relationships.
In 2015, my boyfriend moved to Europe, he tried to speed up my move to him as much as possible: he learned the language, found a job, found an apartment in Stockholm - created all the conditions so that I did not encounter difficulties after the move. He showed that he could be an example for many. And in the end I, just forgetting everything, ran to him. Naturally, a huge amount of lies was invented for parents. It upsets me so far, but I try to accept it, because otherwise we would not have had the opportunity to be around.
In spite of everything, we have been living together for a year, both building our lives the way we want. We do not depend on anyone, of course, we face many difficulties - we changed five apartments in a year, we deny ourselves some things. At the same time, we are discovering life abroad - especially the mentality, language, beauty around. All this in order to be confident in our future, so that we have the family we dream of. A week ago, he made me an offer, and now we are one step closer to our happiness. I am slowly but surely bringing up my parents, so far only my mother, to the fact that I am not alone here and very happy.
During this year, we discovered together another world, not the same as at home. We are trying to travel, so far within the framework of one country, we are building Napoleonic plans for the future and we are doing everything together. The year was a breakthrough in our relationships, in my worldview. I saw what it was like when you are surrounded by the care of a loved one, became more self-confident, forgave my parents some mistakes. In the same way, my young man - he inspires me.
I understand that within the framework of all mankind such a story will be funny and stupid, but for the two of us this year has turned our whole life. Both of us wish in the new year that everyone who reads this will understand for themselves that, regardless of circumstances and difficulties, one must go to his dream, keep his inner light and fulfill the dreams of those who are near.
Regina Leonova
21 years old, student, assistant director
Strasbourg, France
Don `t cry. So my boyfriend told me constantly. Be feminine, be patient, be able to take everything for granted. And no. Never.
2016 was a year for me when I accepted myself and when I allowed myself to become strong. In winter, the man I loved most of all alive cheated on me. And I was left alone, alone with my pain, loneliness, emptiness and fears. Sooner or later in our life happens what we fear the most. The only question is whether we are able to survive. The days of self-flagellation stretched so long that I completely stopped believing in my beauty, talent and freedom. I allowed myself to remain shattered until I returned home in the summer and in the attic I did not find my old gloves, with
cracks from constant drying on the battery, with such a familiar smell of the hall, sweat and broken fists.
Some six years ago, I was predicted of a career as an athlete of international level. Gathering, training, weight loss were the main words in my life, until in the finals of the Russian Championship I had a concussion and almost lost sight in my right eye. I remember nausea attacks, I remember how my mother cries, I remember how the coach says that he says nothing terrible, but I don’t remember the pain. But fear came instantly. For six years I have not touched my gear. “I am opposed to boxing,” Mom repeated this phrase so many times that the words firmly ate into consciousness. The fear of failure, the fear of helplessness is unbearable, but I then needed it.
When I first went to boxing training after six years without sports, my hands shook and my eye twitched. I remember how I was the only girl in the group. I remember how young boys asked why I was so beautiful, and chose such a sport, they say, would go better in badminton to play. But every time I went again and again to the boxing gym. Each time she wrapped her fists in bandages, put on a mouthpiece and went into the ring. I remember how my muscles ached after the first classes. I remember how some guy hit me hard on the head, and I rushed at him, enraged, and beat, until the coach pulled me away. I remember how boys approach me, dads of boys and they ask for my phone, they offer me a ride. And for some reason everyone tells me that boxing is not a women's sport, that you need to find yourself a man who would protect me.
But I do not want to look for someone, I want to feel strong. I want to walk confidently along the street and know that here I am going, maybe very tall, with an imperfect figure, a snub nose, darkened hair roots, but I love myself like that. I know that in all my shortcomings and fears lies my greatest strength. 2016 is the year of power.
Ekaterina Morgunova
30 years, customer service manager in Ring Studio
Moscow
It so happened that in our house there is no TV, and the sources of information for us are Look At Media publications, radio and instagram. Occasionally news flies to us, like awarding the winner of an imaginary guitar game, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce details and a person’s victory in the presidential election from the movie “Home Alone”. This is a reason to smile, no more.
In 2016, we made repairs in our apartment. And they invented an original way of gluing wallpaper to the wall by the light of a flashlight (since the switch was accidentally broken) and peeling wallpaper residue from the ceiling a day later (the process quickly got tired, and we did not finish, went to the movies). How not to quarrel in such situations? Just need to have a good helper. We have three of them: a cat and two rats. True, the cat recently came under the distribution, and we pulled it out from under the pallet that fell on it.
This summer, my husband, a fierce fan of drift, first began to drive himself! In 2016, he finally paid the mortgage and was able to buy a cool drift machine. It is making progress, smoke is pouring out from under the wheels, and I am so happy for it - dreams must come true! My husband, of course, also pulls me up: this year he put me on the board, started teaching driving, and also put me on a mountain bike (though not yet behind the wheel, but for me it is an achievement!).
And, by the way, in the same year my beloved made me an offer, with the great support of my colleagues. I work in a jewelry studio, and the guys all together made a dream ring for me! In the fall, we quietly got married in the fields of the Moscow region, and then there was a cool party at the Moscow club. We recently learned that we will soon become parents, and this is incredible! It seems that we ourselves still can not do anything, what can we teach the baby? But we are already looking forward to it!
As for me personally, this year I have hardly changed: I laugh a lot, I eat a lot, I talk a lot. I rarely read, but excitedly, rarely run, but with what efficiency! My dreams are not as global as those of my husband, but I write down each paper on paper, put it in a boat and store it in a bank at the window. With all the news in my family, I did not notice how the year passed, and during that time I realized how important it is to be true to yourself, not to be afraid to dream and support the aspirations of a loved one, to laugh and enjoy the simplest things. And without news from the outside, we somehow feel very good!
Photo: personal archive