How to stretch the pleasure: The main rules of petting
Text: Tatyana Nikonova, author of Sam Jones's Diary sex blog
Petting (not to be confused with pegging) is an important part of sex, which many people neglect (cases where passion has engulfed you and no time to explain is not counted). This means more or less all the caress of a sexual nature, most often without contact by the genitals. In English, there is a division into petting in general and "heavy" petting, in which partners descend below the belt or even remove something from themselves or another person. Do not think that everything is so simple. Take your time (this, by the way, is important during petting) and carefully study our recommendations, with the help of which sex will become longer and much more pleasant.
Select expression. The word "petting" originated in the States from the expression stroke a pet (petting pet). At the same time in the UK petting is called the process of squeezing with animals on open-to-visit farms and contact zoos, so for them it is primarily non-sexual embraces of the child and animal. In Russian, "petting" is a much more unambiguous word, although not everyone knows it. Nothing prevents you from using any other appropriate expression and meaning. Fooling around, caressing, stroking, hugging, kissing, licking, getting under the shirt - it's all petting, from "mutually masturbating" to "tickling a beaver."
Defend your desires. Why, one wonders, do we need petting when there is diverse sex and masturbation devices? But if you want right now to be drawn around and, perhaps, to get your orgasm from other people's fingers or lips - this is your right and your choice. Sexuality is a fluid thing, and desires can depend on weight, the day of the menstrual cycle, mood, fatigue and the number of thoughts about the future greatness of Russia. From anything, in general. What your body requires is what you do if, of course, your partner agrees (the same rules apply in the opposite direction).
Teach partner if required. Or a partner - despite the fact that your bodies are arranged in the same way, everyone just needs an explanation of exactly how to handle yours. The advantages of petting, even the most innocent, are obvious: it kindles desires and excitement, and also speeds the way to orgasm when performed as a prelude. A woman, if she is not yet warmed mentally, may need time for real readiness for ovulively classy sex, without any preliminary treatment. Petting helps to uncover the sensitivity of different areas of the body and find new ways to get pleasure. Kissing, stroking, pinching, biting, weak slaps and any other stimulation away from the genitals work to increase sexual desire, and not vice versa.
Do not hurry. Petting is a valuable sexual practice, it does not have to end with penetrating or oral sex, orgasm of one or both partners, or anything else. If for some reason they are not yet sure of their desires, petting helps them understand and set the boundaries of the possible. In addition, he teaches communication with a partner - namely, this is one of the main problems in bed, regardless of age. As soon as you learned to explain that you don’t like nibbling your neck, and learned to hear that your partner against pinching his nipples, discussions and more complex interactions are drastically simplified. You will understand, not only how to convey your desires, but also to distinguish between them, and at the same time determine whether your partner is able to hear you. If not - a serious question arises, and what is it that he forgot on your couch.
Do not pounce on the partner, like a hungry beast. Firstly, the path to penetrating sex is so much reduced: you can easily find it in your pants earlier than you thought. There is nothing terrible about sex in such a situation, but if you had other plans, excessive zealousness will spoil everything, and a partner can leave a feeling of unrestrained. In addition, thoughtful petting is not better than crumpled sex - and even more so without condoms. Secondly, the meaning of the petting is in the process, so there is no hurry. What today did not have time to do, catch up the next time, but without repetition. The magic of human proximity does not require a second cosmic velocity.
With "standard" petting pay attention to parts of the body, which are often devoted criminally little time. These are the back of the fingers, palms and hands, knees, ankles, abdomen, places under the breast and its lower part (especially if you are larger than C), the back of the head and the outer side of the hips. Start with easy actions: soft touching, warming by breathing, touching your lips (not kissing), hair, cheek, and stroking your own parts that are also underdone. To serious kisses, licking with pressing, biting, slapping, pinching, scratching and compressing do not go immediately and gradually, alternating one tougher touch with a few weak ones.
For “heavy” petting feel free to use stimulating lubricants and toys. Examine the list of tools that I tested on myself and each issued a weighty conclusion. Among them are warming (increase the desire due to a rush of blood to the genitals), clitoral orgasmotrons (help to reach orgasm in a matter of minutes, or even faster) and massage tools that fit perfectly into the idea of petting. Smear each other with massage oil that heats the skin, if you breathe on it. Apply a cooling lip gloss before you start kissing. Close your eyes and let a completely safe melted mixture of a massage candle, each drop itself as a touch, drip over it. Think about whether you want to quickly move from such pleasures to frictions?
Taking care of yourself and your partner extends to health: you need to be extremely attentive if you are not sure that both of you are in perfect order. The ability to pick up a venereal disease during petting is significantly lower than during sex, but still there. HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, human papillomavirus, hepatitis C, and even pubic lice (yes, in the 21st century) are not yet a complete list of likely diseases for any sexual contact. Pregnancy, by the way, too, has not been canceled. If you touch other people's genitals, and especially their secretions, then you shouldn't lick your fingers or stroke them yourself. Do not rub each other with the sex organs without barrier contraception.
The lack of penetration does not remove the risks, which is important to remember and bring to the partner, if he is not in the know. To pick up something because of naivety or the inability to say no, unfortunately, is a common practice, and this is the case when rational egoism is simply necessary. For safety, use condoms, disposable latex gloves or wipes for oral sex. Saliva is a bad lubricant: in any pharmacy there is an inexpensive water-based product, and you can’t spit on other people's mucous membranes. And do not let your partner convince that he is clean and for 35 years of his life he has never had spontaneous contacts without protection. Such a petting should not be allowed.