Kosher sex: How religion has affected our sexuality
The image of God definitely affects our sexuality, the Polish psychologist and the author of the book The Role of the Image of God in the Occurrence of an Ecclesiogenic Neurosis, considers Andrzej Molenda. And for the first time they started talking about it back in the 50s - the German gynecologist Eberhard Shetzing found out that married couples of orthodox Christians more often have problems in the sexual sphere: impotence, indifference to sex, and most importantly, guilt for their desires. In some cases, this led to a complete inability to have sex.
“Sacred books can be interpreted differently, but a person with neurosis will surely find in them an image of a punishing god who threatens him with hell and eternal torment, including for sexuality,” says Melenda. In his book, he examines examples of the pernicious influence of church dogmatism mainly on women and believes that those in general are more likely to feel guilty because of "infantile religiosity", that is, too literal perception of punishment for their actions.
Certainly, the feeling of guilt is connected with neuroses, but one should not deny that religion traditionally sought to regulate all aspects of a person’s life, especially concentrating on sex. The ban on sex before marriage and contraception, demonization of menstruation, a list of acceptable postures and practices — all these translated Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and even pagan cults.
Sacred texts and their interpretation
Restrictions in the sexual sphere appear in religion even in the pre-writing period. "African and Australian tribes had prohibitions in the gender-sexual sphere; among the ancient Semitic tribes, they also appeared long before the Old Testament. First, the rules became generally accepted folklore, and then entered the sacred texts. After that, theologians could interpret them, because of which bans in the sexual sphere sometimes changed, "says religious theorist Konstantin Mikhailov.
Unlike, for example, the New Testament, the founding Quran quite clearly regulates the sexual relations of its followers: “Your wives are a niva for you, and approach your field as you wish" (Holy Quran, 2: 223). ”Despite this inspiring command bans are also spelled out in the same Quran.Ham-free sex, that is, forbidden action, anal penetration is haram, sex during menstruation, during the daytime during Ramadan and pilgrimage is also banned. Otherwise, different interpretations are possible, which god ovy and theologians practiced even today.
Judaism in fundamental texts also pays great attention to sex. No wonder that the first commandment in the Torah was life-affirming: "Be fruitful and multiply." However, the Jews also have enough prohibitions and strict rules, for example, compulsory female ablution in a special tank, the mikveh. And yet, in two of the three main Abrahamic religions, sex is perceived as the norm, if the prescribed rules are followed.
The attitude towards sex in Christianity was completely different. Jesus spoke on this score not so much (although he forbade divorce), and most taboos and dogmas originate in the texts of the Apostle Paul. For example, the ban on homosexual relationships: “Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor Malakians, nor moribibilisers, nor thieves, nor liars, nor drunkards, nor blasphemers, nor predators — the Kingdom of God does not inherit” (Epistle to the Corinthians Chapter 6). A strict set of sexual taboos in Christianity took shape in the Middle Ages, when the clergy sought to completely control the lives and bodies of the congregation. The easing of pressure on the sexuality of Christians happened only during the Reformation.
Sin or pleasure?
In Judaism and Islam, sex has always been perceived not only as a way of reproduction, but also as a legitimate pleasure for a marriage and the ability of the spouses to draw together. "Oh, how kind your cares are, my sister, the bride! Oh, how much your caresses are better than wine, and your incense is better than all the scents!" - says the canonical book of the Old Testament "Songs of Solomon," praising the sexual relationship of the spouses. Christianity, with the exception of some Protestant trends, held a more severe point of view. The perception of sex as original sin, that is, the reasons for the expulsion of Adam and Eve from paradise, took shape in the works of Saint Augustine in the 4th century.
Since Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire, local scholars and theologians began to actively study the main texts and offer their own interpretations. Many of them were under the great influence of the Stoic philosophers who proclaimed the triumph of the spirit over the body and called for an ascetic lifestyle. Largely because of this, Christianity has become much more asexual for many years than other religions.
“In Judaism, serving God does not imply celibacy. There are rare discussions about abstinence among narrow groups of believers, but this is something specific and un-spread. On the contrary, rabbis usually have a lot of children, and the Torah directly encourages it,” says Mikhailov.
In Christianity, everything is different: it sanctifies marriage, the apostles surrounded Jesus were married, even the marriage of Mary (Our Lady) and Joseph, according to the New Testament, was consecrated. But from the time of Paul the Abstinence began to be considered a blessing: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman, but in order to avoid fornication, each have a wife and each have a husband." "But this is said by me as a permission, and not as a command," he notes in the seventh chapter of the First Epistle to the Corinthians. That is, in Christian ethics, permission to engage in sex was initially dictated rather by a concession to sinful human nature. "It is difficult to say that Christianity directly imposes celibacy, but abstinence is regarded as highly worthy behavior," Mikhailov concluded.
According to the Old Testament, not a wife should fulfill her husband’s wishes, but her husband’s direct responsibility is to please his wife: "(Man) should not deprive her of food, clothing and cohabitation with her, and if he does not do these three things for her, let her go in vain, without redemption "(Old Testament, Exodus, chapter 21). Therefore, a woman’s sexual dissatisfaction can be a legitimate reason for divorce. Because of this, some researchers believe: a few thousand years ago, the Jews understood that female sexuality can seriously exceed male and is distinguished by a more complex device. Shmuel Boteah, rabbi, pop star and author of the best-selling Kosher Sex, believes that the husband must bring his wife to orgasm before he tests it himself. Initially, this was due to the stereotype that in such cases a woman would be able to conceive a boy.
It's all about sperm
Undoubtedly, Abrahamic religions can be considered the main opponents of abortion and contraception. According to the rules of the Roman Catholic Church, the woman who terminated the pregnancy was automatically excommunicated from the sacrament. True, in 2016, Pope Francis allowed all priests to let go of this “sin” and return a woman to the bosom of the church (before this, only high-ranking clerics had such a right).
The reasons for the negative attitude of religions to abortion and contraception are obvious. Protected sex loses its reproductive function, turning into pure pleasure, which means into sin. In Judaism, this completely violates the fundamental commandment about the need to multiply. But over time, the regulations on this score became less cruel. For example, the Orthodox Church does not prohibit condoms, says Konstantin Mikhailov. But it does not accept contraceptives and spirals, since it sees in this a similarity with abortion.
“Modern Judaism, on the contrary, believes that it is better to use pills or spirals,” says Mikhailov. Religious Jews do not use condoms and avoid interrupted sexual intercourse, as this prevents sperm from entering the vagina, that is, sinful. Hormonal contraceptives, in turn, do not restrict couples to comply with this prescription. Of course, limiting the reproductive function is allowed only for a time: tying the fallopian tubes or vasectomy is considered a sin. In addition, the opinion is increasingly heard that in order to fulfill the commandment "be fruitful and multiply," it is enough just to acquire children of both sexes. The head of the public relations department of the Federation of Jewish Communities of Russia, Borukh Gorin, talks about this.
The Quran also prescribes a ban on abandoning pregnancy. “Do not kill your children for fear of poverty, because We provide them with you with food” (Quran, al-Isra 17:31). Thus, many modern theologians believe that contraception can only be used to preserve the health of a woman, but should not be used as a family planning tool. Poverty or problems with living space do not justify the rejection of the next child.
In turn, the Roman Catholic Church for centuries defended the rejection of any type of contraception. “Only in recent years there has been a softening in relation to condoms, the Catholic Church closes its eyes to this, although it is still formally condemning. And this is due to the growing AIDS epidemic in African Catholic regions,” says Konstantin Mikhailov.
Doggy style and kosher sex
In the Middle Ages, the Catholic Church sought to completely control the intimate life of parishioners. So banned anal and oral sex, pose rider, doggie-style, sex in a standing position. My husband was not even recommended to look at his wife during sex. "The missionary position was considered the most recommended - so obviously the more privileged position of a man in society was broadcast," says Konstantin Mikhailov.
In general, the church in every way sought to reduce sex to reproductive function and cause people to shame (that is why sex was allowed only at night), but Islam was more tolerant to this. “It is undesirable to enter into intimacy during sunrise and sunset,” the book “Bihar al-Anwar”, an encyclopedia of hadiths (legends of the wise men about the actions and words of the prophet) for all occasions, says. And yet it was not without prohibitions. Immediately in several hadiths mentioned a ban on anal sex. This practice is considered “unnatural”, which can potentially traumatize a woman, as well as related to homosexuality.
Homosexual communication is generally one of the main taboos in religious interpretations of sex. Islam, Judaism, and Christianity condemn it equally. However, in antiquity, same-sex love among men was not forbidden and was even considered an indicator of social status if a person participated in it in an active position.
Konstantin Mikhailov believes that the condemnation of homosexuality originates in the texts of Jewish scripture: "There is an unconfirmed theory that this was due to the existence of cults that worshiped not other Yahweh, but other gods and practiced ritual transvestu", - he says. But still the most likely source of homophobia was the formal violation of the commandment "be fruitful and multiply." This taboo appeared in other Abrahamic religions, because many theologians were carriers of Jewish culture. For example, the apostle Paul introduced a ban on same-sex sex in Christianity, Mikhailov said.
“Children are born lame because their parents“ turn the table over ”, dumb because they kiss“ this place ”, deaf because they talk during intercourse, blind if they look at“ this place ”", - written in Babylonian Talmud, so said Rabbi Yochanan ben Dahabai. In general, and here at the same time a ban on talking during sex, on doggie-style, on cunnilingus, is set, in addition, a ban is introduced to look at the vagina. However, several interpreters object to the rabbi at once - they believe that sexual freedom (with an eye to the need for ejaculation in the vagina) is still necessary.
Today, the sexual views of a particular Jew generally depend on the degree of freedom of his rabbi, the degree of family conservatism and other factors. In recent years, many rabbis have sought to expand the sexual boundaries of their followers. The same Shmuel Boteah urges Jews to use sex toys, reconsider their views on oral sex and in every possible way introduce diversity into family life. But he interprets some of the taboos that we find archaic and misguided today as wise and relevant, such as the prohibition of sex during menstruation.
Ovulation and influential Judaism
“When a woman has normal bleeding, she’s unclean for seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean until the evening” (Torah, Leviticus 15: 19-30). At this time, in Judaism, you can not touch the woman herself and even the objects on which she sat or lay. The ban on sex during menstruation in Judaism and Islam is spelled out in sacred texts, whereas in Christianity there is no direct mention of a ban.
In fact, in the New Testament, the concept of "impurity" is rethought solely on a moral plane. Methodius Olimpiysky believed that the ideas of impurity, adopted in Judaism, are not relevant for a Christian, since Jesus cleansed everyone by climbing to the cross. Clement of Alexandria agrees and notes that it is not even necessary for Christians to bathe before sex, as prescribed in the Torah: "The Lord cleansed the faithful through baptism for all marital relations." However, over time, scholars of Christianity increasingly referred to the Old Testament, and the menstruation taboo returned (by the way, in Russia it did not disappear - the pagan traditions were too strong).
In this sense, the Jews went the farthest and banned sex not only during menstruation, but also after them. After the beginning of the monthly spouses can not have sex on average 12 more days - or rather, seven more days after the end of menstruation. “A husband knows his wife too well and gets tired of her. Therefore, the Torah forbids her to keep her as desirable as on her wedding day” (Nida, 316). However, many researchers emphasize that such a ban largely contributes to active sex during the ovulation period and prevents the use of the calendar method of contraception.
But why is menstruation considered unclean? "Modern Orthodoxy, as a rule, does not allow a woman to participate in the sacrament at the time of menstruation, and this is due to the fact that it is impossible in principle to bring blood into the church. Once I even read an absurd discussion about whether it is possible to come to the church with blood sausage Well, a priest who has shed a person’s blood is immediately deprived of dignity ", says Konstantin Mikhailov In his opinion, despite the fact that the ban on sex during menstruation is, of course, a misguided practice, its origins do not lie in the sexual, but in the ritual sphere.
Sexual restrictions in all Abrahamic religions are imposed on the period of fasting. True, Muslims are allowed to have sex even in Ramadan, but only at night - as well as eat food. It also prohibits sex during pregnancy and lactation, which strangely intersects with the recommendations of modern doctors (a woman may not be ready for sex due to postpartum trauma). "And in Christianity, the ban applies not only to Great, but also short-term fasting. In fact, sex could be practiced at best half a day a year. Do not forget the frequency of pregnancies and lactation in women many centuries ago - during such periods sexual intercourse also, as a rule, were condemned, "- says Konstantin Mikhailov.
Loopholes in sacred texts and liberalization
Religious norms always give room for interpretation; it’s not for nothing that the church prescribes to contact a spiritual mentor if the question causes difficulties. But sometimes you can break a taboo with the help of a sacred text.
It would seem that sex outside marriage is the most obvious and universal sin for Abrahamic religions, but it can also be circumvented in Islam by entering into a temporary marriage, which is mainly practiced by Shiites. "I am thirty years old, I work as a pharmacist and live in Birmingham. My boyfriend and I want to get to know each other better before we get married. We entered into a temporary marriage, so now we can go to restaurants or shopping, generally meet," says a native of Pakistan, Sarah.
Her father was not against it, but he wanted to make his own terms in this marriage - he forbade the couple to have sex before entering into a relationship according to all the rules. "Mut'a" - the so-called temporary Shiite marriage - in recent years has become increasingly popular among young Muslims living in Western countries. "Mut'a is often practiced by modern students who are trying to adapt to the Western way of life while remaining in the canons of Islam," said Omar Faruk Khan, President of the Islamic Society Ahlul-Byte at Bradford University.
A Shiite temporary marriage is a contract in which partners can indicate the conditions of future relations: how long it will last, whether sex is implied, whether they will live together, how often they will see each other. Mut'a is generally not recommended for virgins, but is allowed with the permission of the father or another male relative. Divorced women or widows can resolve this issue on their own. Такие контракты заключают не только на Западе, но и в ортодоксальных странах вроде Ирана, где большинство населения исповедует ислам шиитского толка.
Шииты ссылаются на опыт пророка Мухаммеда, который рекомендовал временный брак своим соратникам во время долгих путешествий. However, the second righteous caliph Umar ibn al-Khattab banned this practice. Despite the fact that most Sunnis consider a temporary marriage as forbidden, in many predominantly Sunni countries there are versions of it: Orfi and Misyar. The first is especially popular in Egypt.
Orfi marriage consists of the presence of two witnesses and a lawyer and implies that the spouses will not have property claims against each other. At the same time, children born in a temporary marriage are considered legal, and the husband must pay a lump sum gift to his wife. But some researchers believe that a temporary marriage is just a way to legalize prostitution in front of the harsh laws of Muslim countries. Indeed, many Muslims enter into a temporary marriage with sex workers (the police, as a rule, have enough of the completed form from the bookstore) and thus avoid problems with the law.
A temporary marriage gives the woman few guarantees, since the marriage certificate can be broken or destroyed at any time, even if it is kept by a lawyer. That is why Muslim women often cannot bring the fathers of their children to justice - men simply destroy the contract. “Some girls have to go to lawyers because men refuse to accept temporary marriage,” said Fazia Abdullah, an employee of the Egyptian organization for the protection of women's rights. But in Western countries everything is much simpler: the taboos on sex before marriage were simply violated, just like many other sexual restrictions prescribed in sacred texts.
In general, religious prohibitions over the years began to play a lesser role in sexual life. Denominations are being liberalized, trying to be more modern. For example, in Judaism there is no consensus about contraception, but its admissibility is no longer discussed, Borukh Gorin says: the general principle that the health of the mother is considered more important than the birth of a child has already been established. And in some Protestant communities, homosexuality becomes so acceptable that clergymen from the LGBT community are becoming more common.
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