The year when we are no longer silent on violence
One of the main trends of the year there was an open and honest conversation about violence - first and foremost domestic and sexual. This topic still remains stigmatized, but in 2016 it became impossible to be silent - at the same time people freely talked about in different countries: celebrities and politicians made comingming sessions, journalists publicly talked about their past, mass actions and flashmobs were held against violence. Evan Rachel Wood and Rose McGowan talked about rape, Amber Heard admitted that she was the victim of partner violence by Johnny Depp, Tim Roth told about family history - he and his father, journalist Ernie Smith, were abused by grandfather. Even the election campaign in the United States was a new impetus to discuss the topic: Donald Trump, at that time a presidential candidate, was accused of harassment. Similar processes began at different points on the globe: in the post-Soviet space, the # YANE action was in July, in the USA, in October, the #NotOkay action, which had exactly the same goal: the women (and later the men) talked about their difficult experiences and collisions with by violence.
#I'm AfraidTell
In Russia, the action # ЯНЕЯisDescribed by the Ukrainian activist Anastasia Melnichenko, has become the center of discussion about violence. Thousands of women shared stories about rape, harassment, past injuries, condemnation and indifference from loved ones and inaction of law enforcement agencies. Many recalled their experiences when they saw other people's stories; others sympathized with the victims, thought about the nature of the violence and how firmly it was rooted in society. The action turned out to be very painful and terrible, in many respects also due to the fact that the most difficult stories remained unsaid, since women were not ready to share them publicly. The flash mob helped to see the everyday occurrence, prevalence and routine of violence: it turned out that almost every woman faced at least harassment - and those who managed to avoid it, admitted that they were “just lucky.” It is almost impossible to track down at the level of official statistics: in 2015, the Russian courts received more than 2.7 thousand cases under the article "Rape" and about 6 thousand cases with adjacent corpus delicti - but the real figure is much more, because victims are very often afraid to tell about your experiences.
Many actions have become so familiar and normal for us, so deeply rooted in the culture that we stopped noticing them. Women sharing with each other feelings about the action, with surprise and horror, learned that they unwittingly follow the same mechanisms, which supposedly should help avoid violence, but in fact do not guarantee security: they wear a bunch of keys in their fist when they walk alone on a dark street, avoid eye contact with unfamiliar men and are afraid to leave the house late. The main achievement of the action # ЯНЭЯSpeakazat - its therapeutic effect: it gave many a sense of unity, nursing, born through common experience, gave a sense of support and the ability to finally speak out and be understood. It’s still scary to talk about the survival of his victims - but they understand that they are not alone.
The year 2016 once again showed that violence is systemic, and the culture of violence is firmly rooted in Russian society and is not limited to physical and sexual violence. It can be traced at different levels - from the family to the state as a whole. It all starts with the "traditional" methods of education, involving the humiliation of the weaker - due to age or physically - family members. Supporters of physical abuse of children say that his ban destroys families; This viewpoint is also supported by the ROC, which advocates "moderate" and "reasonable" use of physical punishment. Instead of talking about how important it is to learn to protect and defend their own borders, children are taught that these borders do not matter - and adults and other children can easily violate them. A girl who is beaten by a classmate’s hair is more likely to hear from teachers or parents: “He just flirts with you, he likes you,” and will think that she has to endure what is unpleasant for her, and harassment is a compliment.
# violence_in_rode
Violence continues with adults: it is legitimized at the state level, which uses prohibitions as the main method of control - and continues at lower levels. The person is perceived primarily as a function that he must perform, and any deviation from the "norm" is condemned. This is shown, for example, by the action # violence_in_rod, which also came to Russia from Ukraine. Women told about physical and psychological violence, insults that they had to face in maternity hospitals by doctors and midwives. Women, who are already in a vulnerable and defenseless situation, seem to be additionally punished for non-existent offense.
The situation that occurred in the Moscow School No. 57 helps us to see how far we are from understanding the concept of consent and the limits of violence - simple at first glance, the concepts are surrounded by many prejudices, nuances and misunderstandings. Cases in which a teacher enters into a relationship with a student in a dependent and more vulnerable position are not uncommon and occur in many schools. But in order to finally start talking about the inadmissibility of such relations, it took public attention - the desire to avoid publicity and resolve the issue "behind closed doors" postponed this conversation for many years.
The culture of violence prevailing in Russia is largely connected with the tradition of silence: the setting “not to take the rubbish out of the hut” makes it difficult to talk about past traumas and reflex about one’s own painful experience. But the longer this conversation is postponed, the harder it is to begin - and the longer the problem remains unnoticed and unresolved. The tradition of silence is fed by the cult of force prevailing in society: aggression and domination are still considered to be the only “legitimate” ways to defend their freedom, the right to vote and the right to choose are given only to the “strong”, and respectful attitude is considered weakness. A person who decides to express feelings, talk about his problem and ask for help is called weak - although this requires tremendous courage. Perhaps that is why some of the hardest and most important actions of this year did not start in Russia, but came to us from Ukraine - to speak on topics that have been stigmatized for a long time, it's easier when the conversation began, your voice is one of many, and you feel support.
At the legislative level, the situation with violence during the year has not changed. For example, there is still no separate law on domestic violence in the country - although attempts are still being made to introduce it, and some initiatives are aimed at helping victims where the state does not. Violence remains the same frighteningly mundane: the situation with a resident of Orel, who died at the hands of a partner shortly after she turned to the police, is one of many who, by chance, has been publicized. It cannot be said that the attitude of society as a whole to violence has changed - many still consider jokes about violence against women not as manifestation of sexism, but something insignificant, which is not worth paying attention to. In Russia and in the world in matters of violence, women are still less trusted than men - the words of Maria Schneider, who told several years ago that she felt humiliated on the set of "The Last Tango in Paris", only after as Bernardo Bertolucci spoke about the same situation.
And yet, during these twelve months, something very important happened: a problem that is so well known to society, but which is still “not accepted” and “embarrassing”, has finally become visible. Violence in society has not diminished, but we gradually learn to talk about it - and this is the first step towards healing the injury and preventing it from recurring in the future.
Photo: quaddplusq - stock.adobe.com
