From tribadism to fingering: Sexual practices that you might like
What is sex? It seems now the most logical answer. This question is: "Sex is all you want to call your sex." It can include a variety of practices, and can engage in a variety of people. We may have different bodies, different identities, different needs and limitations. We can have sex together, three or more. The main thing is to take care of security, to negotiate and abide by the principle of consent - otherwise it is no longer sex, but violence.
At the same time, Russia lacks not only sex education, but also sex vocabulary, which would make it possible to make conversations about the process quite convenient and accessible. And there is nothing bad if in such a situation the missing words are borrowed from other languages, and certain terms are invented from scratch. For example, women in Sweden came up with and introduced the word "vulva", which until recently simply did not exist in Swedish.
Probably, the Russian language still expects a lot of lexical updates, but for now we will recall the names of the main practices that will help in discussing sex or just let you learn something new.
Penetration in sex is called any kind of penetration. If you have found what to penetrate and where - this is penetration. For example, one can speak of vaginal, anal or oral penetration, when penetration takes place in the vagina, in the anus or in the mouth, respectively. You can penetrate human cavities with a penis, fingers, or sex toys. If several types of penetration are used for one person at a time (for example, anal penetration with a gadget and oral penetration with fingers), then the term "multipenetration" is used. However, despite the fact that the most famous form of penetration - penis vaginal, sexual contact between the penis and vagina is not always penetrating.
Rabbing is the friction of the genitals about any part of the body of a partner or partner, or the friction of any object (sex toy, chair seat, etc.). If friction occurs between the genitals, then this type of rabbing is called genital rabbing. You can also rub the vulva or the penis on the thigh, arm or chest of another person, or on the pillow during masturbation. Separately, it is worth mentioning the little used in the Russian language, but probably the actual for many the term "dry-humping", dry humping, when during sex you rub your genitals about someone without removing clothes.
All this - subspecies rabbinga. In Russian, these words are still used less often than in English. But if you know them, you can make your vocabulary more diverse. Frottagem is often called a rabbing in a heterosexual couple. Tribadism is rabbing in lesbian sex. A famous type of tribadism is the lesbian scissors pose, which involves rubbing a vulva against a vulva. It is also quite common friction of the vulva on the thigh partner. Frot - rabbing in male homosexual sex. This word can also be described as rubbing the penis against the penis, and rubbing the penis against other parts of the body.
At the same time, dictionaries do not give an unambiguous answer to the question of how transgender and non-binary people can deal with this terminological diversity. In practice, the solution may be this: choose the word with which you are comfortable.
In addition to the well-known cunnilingus and fellatio, anilingus, oral stimulation of the anus, also refers to oral sex. Cunnilingus and anilingus can be penetrating or not. Fellatio is also diverse: for example, people without a penis can "take" it, if they put on a strapon. Cis women and transgender men who prefer to receive this kind of oral sex talk about the psychological pleasure they experience in the process - even though the strapon is not part of their body.
In general, the use of toys in sex is an opportunity to get more sensations with a limited number of hands involved. Of course, there are things that involve the use of two people or more (for example, strap-ons). But even those devices that you use for masturbation in solitude can be easily incorporated into your partner practices. Anal toys can successfully complement vaginal stimulation, clitoral stimulant or dildo can be combined with oral sex and fingering, and a vibrator will benefit outside the perineum: for example, you can try to stimulate their nipples.
Anal penetration is available to anyone who has an anus, regardless of identity or the passport floor - there would be a desire (this is the most important thing)! Penetration of the anus can be done with a penis, fingers, or sex toys (dildo, anal plugs, etc.), and with penetrating anilingus, with the tongue. Anal penetration does not always imply movement: some just like a static feeling of fullness, and the "movement" inside brings discomfort. The main thing to remember during anal penetration: because the anus does not produce lubricant, it is important to use more lubricant, best of all - specifically designed for anal sex. We described in detail in the material on pegging how to penetrate anal cis-men and other people with the prostate using a strap-on.
As the name suggests, fingering is finger penetration. Most often talk about the vaginal fingering, sometimes - about anal. What is important to know about this kind of sex? Due to the sensitivity and mobility of the fingers, the finger will make it possible to deliver vaginal pleasure in a mass of ways. You can learn the basic techniques and find the right stimulation. But it may also be that another person is enough that your fingers are just inside the vagina or anus and do not move - try different things and ask questions more often.
When fingering, you can vary not only the intensity of movements and the location of the fingers, but also their number. Nevertheless, it is usually recommended to start with the penetration of one finger, and the “classic” is the penetration by two - for such a case, you can even buy a special extension sex toy. It should be added that if you stimulate the vulva and the outer part of the clitoris with your fingers without penetration, this is, formally, also a fingering.
Fisting is the penetration of the entire hand, again vaginal or anal. If you have already tried to introduce at least four fingers and are ready to go further together, then discuss your expectations in detail, get the right lubricant and be careful in your movements, especially when inserting and removing hands. And there are silicone hands for fisting, allowing you to release the real limbs for other types of caresses.
Joint masturbation can be mutual - when you stimulate the genitals with each other with your hands, and can be parallel - when you masturbate separately in close proximity to each other. Joint masturbation (especially parallel) is considered one of the safest practices in terms of the transmission of STIs. And also, watching how your partner or partner masturbates, you can better understand and see what kind of stimulation is pleasant to her or him. But, of course, before you reproduce the same actions with her or him yourself, ask if the person wants it. Some people prefer to share practices for masturbation and for partner sex. Another advantage of masturbation is that you do not need to be in the same room: you can have such sex through video calling or combine it with sexing.
Sexting is the exchange of intimate messages, photos or videos, a kind of "sex through the messenger." As in any practice, the principle of consent is important here. Therefore, before starting the correspondence, clarify whether the other party does not object to receiving such messages from you now. At the same time, do not forget about cybersecurity - unfortunately, the history of porn places and stolen intimate photos are still fresh in memory.
Some people like to discuss sex out loud - right during the process or separately, such as voice messages instead of text messages. If it is important for you to talk to you during the process, and your partner or partner is ready to try, help them by formulating what exactly you would like. Perhaps it is important for you to hear certain compliments, or do you like the other person to describe what happens during your sex? It is also worth clarifying which expressions you like and which ones are unacceptable.
The more sexual stimulation techniques you learn, the wider your choice. It will not only be easier for you to choose what you like, but also more accurately explain your desires. Many practices can be combined to get new sensations. At the same time, it is important to remember that sex is not a world championship in multitasking: not everyone wants to receive multistimulation and not everyone is comfortable with giving it. Do not forget about your comfort, talk about your needs and limitations, ask questions and suggest discussing what is happening - it will be easier for you to take care of each other.
Photo: nito - stock.adobe.com, Tran-Photography - stock.adobe.com