Why do Ivy League graduates choose a family?
Elina Chebboha
"Your ovaries are not getting younger", says Susan Patton, a 50-year-old woman who proudly calls herself Princeton Mom. She now lives in Manhattan, on the Upper East Side, divorced and raising a dachshund. Susan Patton gained inhuman popularity after the publication of an open letter to Princeton students, advising them to look for a husband among fellow students. "You," Patton warns, "will never again be surrounded by so many men who deserve you." For her, Princeton is an alma mater, to whom she treats with awe and reverence, like most graduates of the elitist universities of the Ivy League. March 11, a year after the letter, Patton released the book Marry Smart: Advice for Finding THE ONE - an extensive list of instructions (238 pages!) For those who really want to get married. And, of course, studies somewhere in Princeton.
Familiar with the structure of such books, probably, its contents are understandable. These are shallow, often strikingly misizinistic generalizations of people whose personal life raises questions or is completely absent. Upper East Side is known for its conservatism, but Patton dragged herself into a corset from medieval stereotypes to nausea - for example, she considers raped drunk woman to be the culprit of the incident: "If you are too drunk to talk, then you may not be able to say no or avoid unwanted consequences "And then the responsibility lies with you." This dense opinion makes Patton the most unpleasant exception to the rule that will allow all men to reproach women for the hatred of each other for the rest of their lives.
Susan really doesn’t particularly like girls. Under the auspices of caring for the generation of Princeton students, she says that men are amazing, that you shouldn’t offend the nerds (the rich can grow out of them), that full girls should be able to deflate fat surgically, but “a man can get in shape with age”. Such rhetoric is easily deceived - in fact, Susan does not particularly like men either, except for her two sons. She does not advise to go for those who are much older ("this is how to have sex with her father!"), For bad guys, for divorced people, for those who already have children and, finally, get to conditional blacks and Muslims - like collectors of someone else's hate. For the literary component, "Princeton Mom" used the entire arsenal. Quote from Oscar Wilde? Check. "Forgive them, for they know not what they do"? Check. "Never say never"? Check. "And with these lips are you going to kiss your children"? Of course.
It is impossible to invent such a caricature figure, which clearly exists in opposition to all militant feminists - as you know, the world is even worse than is commonly believed. By the number of absurd councils and hardcore republican rhetoric, it is clear that the gears in Susan Patton's head actually rotate in this way, and her reinforced self-confidence on the 50th page begins to fascinate. Patton has a valid fixation on the ovaries and aging. She very often uses the expression “your eggs” (only once meaning Easter eggs), warning that “the ovaries do not grow younger,” “the ovaries dry,” “you’ll be late,” advises to keep her career for the sake of children. Once it finally breaks through and it makes the egg a condition of mathematical calculations, where the sperm wins in the endless struggle for gender equality. At this moment, you experience what is called myötähäpeä in Finnish - when someone else has gone crazy, and for some reason, you feel ashamed. The main enemy of the woman, according to Patton, is age, and she denies the right to happiness (or minimizes the likelihood) to those who have crossed the 30-year milestone.
The main enemy of the woman, according to Patton, is age, and she denies the right to happiness to those who crossed the 30-year milestone.
Subordination does not allow Susan Patton to be completely beaten to the floor, moreover, she is charming in her perseverance and charismatic in enormity. Moreover, in fact, is not so wrong, urging him to look for a couple while studying. Lisa Belkin's 2003 article in The New York Times talks about a group of Princeton graduates who quit a successful career to raise children. She was echoed by a report from the same publication two years later about Yale graduates who prefer part-time and family comfort. Finally consolidates the trend study of Johnny Hersh, a professor at Vanderbilt University. She studied the labor biography of 100,000 college graduates and concluded that if students from top universities generally get married later and earn good money, they all gladly release the labor market forever when they find a spouse and have children. Good morning, people of the Upper East Side.
Upon closer examination, it turns out that Susan Patton’s book came out at the request of the audience and, in spite of literature, vulgarity and disgusting intonation, fulfills its function. Princeton girls are wondering why they need a career in principle, regardless of Patton’s advice — a few months before her open letter came out, a column titled “What Does a Princeton Woman Want” was published on the same site, where the author justifies a friend who prefers marriage to a career . As an argument, she uses a high-profile article by Ann-Marie Sloter, former director of strategic planning of the US State Department, who quit her job to spend more time with her sons. Women, according to Slaughter, in the conditions of modern economy and social sphere, "simply cannot have everything at once." This is not a 50-year-old divorced woman with a dachshund. Not a green Princeton student. Do not transfer "Let's get married!". Slaughter herself received a bachelor's degree from Princeton (it seems they have a fever there), where she now teaches, and not just being a professor at Ivy League University is the most prosaic work in the world that Slaughter is trying to imagine. For young women, she, long before Patton, became a wise patronizing voice in a conversation about how motherhood and career cannot be combined and how traditional motherhood is truly morally superior to everything else.
It seems to us that the times of advice on how to pick up the right man are long gone. Even glossy magazines disdain them, leaving it to the women's forums and suspicious writers. “Could you please name your son? I want to make sure that I will never marry him,” asks the open letter commentator Susan Patton on The Daily Princetonian website. "A typical feminist. I advise you to lose weight and find a job. Women who look like you need to work on yourself," the collective responds. As long as there is something, an evil voice that despises women, themselves and people in general, books on successful marriage will continue to go out, and smart, educated people will continue to read them. True, now furtively. As students of the best universities in the world who have been granted the right to education by those they hate now.
Photo: coverphoto via Shutterstock, Getty Images / Fotobank