How divorce affects children and adults
Relationships are an essential part of life and, like any other, it is not immune from the bases. The betrayals that are widely discussed today are frequent, but far from the only reasons for the dissolution of the marriage, and even if they were not there, divorce is still a difficult event for both partners and their children. Alison Nastasi figured out exactly how a divorce affects the future life of family members and whether or not to survive it as hard as we used to think.
The answer to this question depends on the subject of the discussion. Sociologists agree that divorce is bad for children, especially if parents are divorced "quietly", without clarifying the relationship in front of their children. At the same time, if parents often quarreled and there was physical or emotional violence against one of the parents or children, a divorce for children would be more beneficial.
Divorce has a different effect on heterosexual partners. Women usually recover faster emotionally, but suffer more from financial difficulties. Despite the fact that now women are beginning to gradually earn more, they still find it difficult, because, as a rule, the burden of custody and education falls on them. Men suffer more emotionally, and they marry again quickly. Longitudinal academic studies confirm that although marriage has a positive effect on the psychological state of both men and women, it still has a greater effect on men.
Divorce is a difficult and painful process that should not be taken lightly. But this is not the end for adults or children, and it is often preferable to an unsuccessful marriage, which can do even more harm. Many of the problems attributed to divorce are in fact rooted in earlier moments that occurred 8-12 years before the divorce. Other problems arise already during or immediately after the divorce, when former spouses openly conflict or set up children against their former partner. Joint upbringing of children after a divorce is possible and ultimately pays off on all sides, although it requires parents to be disciplined and to understand the role of stability in the lives of children. For example, for a teenager, moving and changing schools in the middle of a school year would rather act as a trigger for antisocial behavior than a divorce in itself.
There are a few more things to know about divorce. For example, the number of divorces is gradually falling, especially among partners who have received higher education. 70% of newly married in the early 90s together celebrate the 15th anniversary of marriage, as do 65% of those who got married in the 70s and 80s. Couples married at the beginning of zero, it seems to cope even better. Divorce by mutual consent, and not through the fault of one of the partners, today is not a problem. The study, in which the influence of new laws allowing divorce by mutual consent was studied in the 1970s and 1980s, showed that the number of suicides among women decreased by 8-13%, and the number of cases of domestic violence - by 30%. At the same time, despite the widespread adoption of such laws, the total number of divorces also decreased.
Not for all the divorce is the same. Most recover well after it, but some people cannot cope with this injury and can create problems not only for themselves, but also for their loved ones. For example, a recent study showed that 18% of children after parents' divorce become more aggressive, 14% less aggressive, and the behavior of the others does not change. I don’t say that a divorce is nothing, but if parents can jointly raise children after it, it will help not only the children to survive the pain, but also the former spouses themselves. It is also worth remembering that if a parent adjusts a child against his former partner, it will rebound on him when the child is older.
It all depends on what the marriage itself was and in what circumstances the former spouses ended up after the divorce. Obviously, a happy marriage is better than a divorce, but for divorced people it’s not at all such an alternative: they choose between a failed marriage and a divorce that may be more useful.
The financial situation strongly depends on the number of children of the couple, the one who will raise them after the divorce, and the career prospects of each spouse. Women, as a rule, earn less than men, but more often they raise children, so after a divorce, they often have financial difficulties. At the same time, the income of men may, on the contrary, increase if they do not take part in the upbringing of children. Of course, these are all generalizations, and how people will solve financial problems depends on their individual arrangements.
Divorce is really as bad as it is, and it really spoils the financial situation. Despite this, most of the former partners and their children are recovering well - in the sense that divorce does not break their identity. Otherwise, there would be a huge number of injured people in society.
Divorce is one of the most stressful events in life, and it adversely affects the well-being of adults and children from at least the financial, professional and emotional side. Divorce is a process, so people recover relatively quickly. True, he has a lasting effect: the pain that a divorce causes, follows the children into their adult life. Most men and women remarry within five years after a divorce, and most children of divorced parents live a happy life. This does not mean that they have no difficulties, but one divorce is usually not enough to ruin someone's life.
In addition to the emotional important financial aspect. Both men and women experience financial difficulties after a divorce, but women are more likely and it is more difficult for them to move up the career ladder (some people fail). Usually they raise children, while about half of women do not receive any financial support for this. How well a person copes with financial problems is influenced by his level of education, age and other factors.
Divorce almost always leads to financial problems, and often - emotional, usually for women. The process of divorce itself. The expenses of one spouse are always higher than the expenses of the other. Divorce in itself distracts about work and thus can ruin career plans. If a couple has children, it's still worse. In short, the economic system is not adapted to help a large number of divorced people, so the personal problem is exacerbated by the lack of economic support from the state.
While divorce can cause pain and stress, in itself it is neutral. Most people experience the most unpleasant emotions during a divorce: you have to say goodbye to some dreams, a familiar family life, a loved one. Despite these losses, many people say that they do not regret a divorce, they live a full life after it and have great chances to start a new relationship within three years.
There are, however, good and bad divorces. Good ones do not stop family relationships, have minimal impact on the emotional and financial condition of the spouses and almost do not entail negative consequences for children. Bad divorce destroys the family completely, and children suffer from it.