Harassment: How to recognize it and what to do next
Sexual harassment at work and while studying - a topic that is taken to hush up. An important point of such plots is that the subject and the addressee of such sexual behavior are often in a hierarchical relationship. That is, the victims are at great risk, betraying the details of what is going on. Children are afraid of teachers, adults of any gender - bosses, women - of public condemnation, and men - ridicule.
Last week, Medusa published an investigation by Daniil Turovsky, in which schoolgirls talk about sexual harassment by the director of the Moscow League of Schools and his deputy. Many reacted skeptically to the text - almost the same as last year’s story with the Moscow 57th school: someone did not believe the victims, others said that the relationship with the teacher could not hurt the 16-year-old students in love with the teacher. In fact, systematic violations of a person’s personal boundaries, described by the word “harassment,” are a serious intervention in the life of the victim. We decided to understand what is harassment and how to act if you or your loved ones encountered it.
What is harassment?
The term "harassment" denotes the most different types of psychological oppression. The English word "harassment" describes a wide range of situations: words, gestures, actions that can offend or humiliate another person, behavior that systematically violates the borders of other people, psychological pressure.
In the Russian language, the word "harassment" usually means only harassment or sexual harassment. But here we can talk about a very different behavior - from jokes and sexual hints, slaps and touches to threats and blackmail. The UN calls sexual harassment harassment, sexual hints and gestures and other actions that may offend or humiliate another person. They often talk about sexual harassment at work: an employee may be offered a vacancy in exchange for sex or impose a closer relationship than the working situation suggests. The same thing can happen in any other relationship where there is a certain hierarchy or one person depends on another: for example, between teacher and student or doctor and patient. Here, refusal to communicate or open conflict always potentially brings problems for the victim of harassment.
The level of sexual aggression and the requirements of the harassus can be very different. His victim can be anyone, regardless of gender and age. The consequences of harassment can be very difficult - and for the psychological state of the victim, and for the conditions of her life.
Where does he come from?
As well as ways to influence the victim, the goals of harassment differ. Often harasser trying to achieve sex or a romantic relationship with the victim, but this is not always the case. Part of the aggressor simply enjoys the fact that he can quietly violate foreign borders and fully controls the situation. The harassment gives the aggressor a sense of power over another person, a feeling of superiority and impunity - especially considering how difficult it is for the victim to prove the fact of harassment. Harassment is possible not only in relationships where there is a certain hierarchy, they often occur when one person seeks to establish control over another. As the reaction to cases of harassment in schools and universities shows, there is still no consensus in the society on this issue, and many consider the teaching harassment to be something ordinary.
Is there legal protection against harassment?
In European and American legal practice, punishments for sexual harassment are more widespread than in Russia. "The first case of harassment was considered in the United States in 1975, and since then they have been brought to court more and more often," said Kristina Lapshina, a practicing lawyer in the field of civil law. notify the abuser about the inadmissibility of his actions, after which either the labor or school commission is gathered, following which disciplinary measures are taken. Perhaps criminal prosecution. In addition, schools often use study codes nicknames and guides for various situations, including bullying and harassment. " Educational institutions can directly prohibit the relationship between students and teachers.
High-profile cases of sexual harassment in Russia often end with the dismissal of the culprit - as, for example, happened to the teacher of the St. Petersburg Humanitarian University of Trade Unions. From a legal point of view, the fight against harassment in Russia is complicated by the fact that the very concept of harassment is not spelled out in Russian legislation. But there are some articles of the Criminal Code on which you can rely upon a lawsuit. "In the Criminal Code of the RSFSR of 1993 there was article 118, which provided for responsibility for forcing a woman to have sex with a person from whom the woman was dependent - materially or in service. At the moment, such responsibility does not exist," says Christina Lapshina. "There is an article 133 of the Criminal Code, which provides for liability for coercion to sexual intercourse (including homosexual contact) or other acts of a sexual nature using blackmail, threats or property damage or using the mother “The victim’s relationship with the minor or other dependencies. This is also possible for a minor. Unfortunately, the first part of this article refers to crimes of minor gravity. And for minors, to crimes of moderate severity. A lawyer advises to contact the police in order to work out an action plan together with the security officers, which will help prevent harassment. To do this, however, you need to trust the police.
What if you find yourself in a situation of harassment?
The most difficult thing in a situation of harassment is to believe your feelings and not dismiss them as something insignificant (in Russian culture it is still customary to regard obsessive attention as a compliment). If you feel that your borders are systematically violated, it means that we are talking about harassment. Two things need to be understood: the aggressor is not omnipotent, and you are not to blame for what is happening. The length of the skirt, your appearance, behavior and other factors are not an excuse for harassment - as is the case with other types of violence, the fault lies only with the aggressor.
There are a few common actions that can help stop harassment. One of the most frequent tips is to record all manifestations of harassment (date, time, place, event, witnesses): it will be easier to charge and ask for help. It is equally important to develop tactics of behavior with the character. If the behavior of a person is unpleasant - constant touch, intrusive attention, or persistent offers to drink coffee - it is worth voicing. Open conflict is always hard, but in this case you simply draw your own boundaries. Perhaps the person did not feel that he was doing something that was unpleasant for you - and an explanation would help him realize his mistake and be more attentive. If it did not work, and in front of you is really a harasser, it is important not to give up your positions and not to tolerate what is unpleasant for you.
Equally important is to stock up on the support of loved ones: the meaning of harassment is often not in the future sex or in an attempt to spin the novel, but in the process of bullying itself. Finally, do not be afraid to ask for help: for example, if the situation unfolds at work, you can turn to Eychara.
What if it touched your loved ones?
For a person who is a victim of harassment, the most important thing is the trust and support of others. It is important to understand what you can not do: do not try to find an explanation and causes of harassment - the blame always lies with the aggressor. It is equally important to take the situation seriously: the person who told you about the case in which he feels himself a victim of sexual aggression must be believed. If you find out that someone you know has encountered harassment — for example, in an office or hospital — offer your help. But do not insist that a person make certain decisions - in such a situation, the victim may feel even more helpless.
Because of the events in the 57th school and the League of Schools, the situation in educational institutions attracted attention. Harassment at school is evil, crippling the psyche of children, and it needs to be eradicated. In such a situation, decisive action is needed: parents of victims and teachers should unite and think out a joint plan. There is no place for formulations like “not to wash dirty linen in public”, “to leave good memories of school”. The unworthy behavior of one teacher is not the fault of the school, but how an educational institution deals with situations of harassment speaks about it no less than the number of olympiad students and graduates who entered the best universities.
How not to become an aggressor?
Not only in every culture, but in every small community and even in every family, personal boundaries are resolved differently. Here you can not use the rule "Do as you would like to do with you": what means nothing to me may be uncomfortable and unacceptable for someone. In public places it is often difficult to control your micro actions (for example, accidentally grabbing a person on the subway), but in the workplace or at school it is necessary: the reaction of familiar people to your actions is constantly visible. True, it is not always easy to notice when it comes to people subordinate or dependent on you: often people try to hide their negative emotions from those who are above their position. The key point in understanding whether you are violating the borders of another person is “no means no”: this is the basic principle of consent. If you have invited a subordinate for a date and you are refused, this is normal. If you invite a person again - this is a harassment.
What if he / she starts?
The phrase "he / she first began" is resorted to by a huge number of people accused of harassment - especially when it comes to the relationship between pupils and teachers. A person subordinate to another and dependent on another is obviously in a more vulnerable position and may feel pressured. This is especially important in the relationship between teachers and students: there can be no talk of "who started first" here. A teacher differs from pupils not only by age and experience, but by an understanding of responsibility and ideas about professional ethics. Teacher in love or sexual desire is a common situation in schools and universities. To use any of these situations is a harassment, and the responsibility here lies only with the teacher.
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