"Text Nyochem": 10 basic rules of constructive criticism
We have already told why it is so important to criticize reasonably and correctly (because otherwise communication at all levels and projects will turn into hell, gloom and soot). Today we analyze the practical side of the issue, namely, we tell you what rules should be followed in communicating with colleagues, friends, partners and strangers on the Internet.
Remember why you criticize
right:
Look, I think I know how to make it even better.
Criticism is needed to fix a problem that is stopping you or other people, or to help a person become better at something. For example, learn how to make cool coffee. That is, not to show everyone what kind of cool coffee you can brew and how much others don’t know how to brew it and why they are not allowed to do this. Or recall how hard it was for you to learn how to make coffee, but you still managed. In general, not for self-affirmation or release of steam, but to change the situation for the better. Therefore, before embarking on criticism, it is important to formulate for yourself the goals of a specific conversation and make sure that you understand the intentions and methods of the criticized, because otherwise you will not be able to form an objective opinion about his work and the criticism will be useless and even harmful.
Use the "hamburger principle"
right:
Interesting text! Not enough links, add? And thank you so quickly
Criticism must be neutral or positively charged. The sarcastic or ironic tone, which is often covered with comments, is counterproductive - because it is necessary for the self-affirmation of the speaker, and not for solving the problem. Often constructive comments are interspersed with mocking comments, and with such an approach for the criticized, the entire review can be completely depreciated, because his feelings are hurt. So, if you are ridiculed, being covered with good intentions, such communication has little in common with constructive criticism.
For productive dialogue it is easiest to use the so-called sandwich approach or the principle of a hamburger. Its essence is that any critical review is based on a simple scheme: praise, criticism, praise. For Russian culture, in which they are always afraid to praise (child, student, employee), it may seem cloying or even hypocritical, but it really helps to avoid the frustration that occurs during constant criticism. Talking to a person from time to time that you believe in him is also useful - it encourages and helps to work better. It is worth noting that praise is worth customizing: repeated for the tenth time "everything is class, but ..." may sound fake, so bother to note the real merits of a particular work - so the addressee will understand that you actually saw and appreciated them.
Disassemble one problem at a time
wrong:
Again you left dirty dishes
A very common mistake in both workers and personal relationships is to accumulate complaints. Most often this is due to the fact that one side does not want to express edits or suggestions as they become available, but in the end it does not stand up to their influx and gives out everything at once - also with negative emotions that are natural for this situation. It is necessary to remember that to endure, relying on the understanding of another person, is harmful - because as long as he does not give feedback, he will not understand that something is wrong and will act as before.
The rule of solving one problem at a time allows us not only to relieve possible tension (a constructive dialogue encourages both parties), but also to move on with maximum speed and comfort. Well, and that is more useful in personal relationships: do not remember past mistakes, both corrected and not corrected. This shifts the conversation from the rational to the emotional level, causes a feeling of hopelessness (you cannot change the past) and simply angers.
Be specific and not personal.
wrong:
Why do you even need this contest, it's ridiculous
Anyone can leave a “post-it-nothing” format feedback or catch on one mistake and on the basis of this devalue the work entirely. Remember that such a reaction does not require effort at all, is useless and only shows that the "critic" wants to speak out and be noticed even at the cost of humiliating another person. Constructive criticism is only a concretized review of one or several aspects of the work, showing what is wrong and why. Yes, it is more difficult to compose it than to throw an empty “lol, what a shit”, but remember why criticism is needed at all.
Reviews like "I would like to know your personal opinion on this issue" make it clear what exactly you think is possible for improvement and allow you to respectfully notify about it. In addition, it is never due to one mistake (which may not be a distortion of the facts, but simply an opinion that does not coincide with yours) to accuse the person of non-professionalism. And even the fact that you are faced with an obvious mistake or other indisputable shortcomings, it is not a reason to question all the work at once and does not mean at all that the worker is a slacker and a layman.
Remember that no one is perfect
right:
I don't always do everything on time either
It must always be remembered that the side to which you are preparing to transmit criticism is not a function or a robot, but a person whose feelings would be well treated with respect. Yes, both the worker and the partner should be prepared in one way or another to adequately perceive criticism, but it should also be presented in such a way as not to humiliate the addressee.
Humaneness in combination with really valuable edits and remarks gives a remarkable result: besides ideas on how to make work better, a person understands that he is not treated as a mechanism, but really valued (remember the principle of a hamburger). Admitting your mistakes will make it possible to bring this humanity even into a difficult conversation: you will show that you don’t consider yourself the only right and standing in a white coat and that mistakes are a natural part of the workflow and they happen to everyone.
Show that you understand the other's feelings
right:
I understand that it was not easy
This rule is well suited to respect the principle of a hamburger. It is important to remember that anyone, even in your opinion, is an easy task for everyone to be given in different ways. A simple example: a person who has never compiled a business letter can mess up or ask a bunch of questions that may seem ridiculous or naive to a professional. But this does not mean that the newcomer is not able to cope with such a task a priori - you just need to give him time to learn. By showing that you represent what the employee or partner might have been nervous about in a new or difficult business, you gain his trust and demonstrate that your goal is not to offend or hurt, but to help.
Do not criticize in public
wrong:
Chat, look, what a stupid mistake M. made, and do not do so
A big fear of a modern person is to screw up in public. Even more unpleasant is when a person is shamed in front of other people who cannot be objected to (for example, the boss). In this case, there is a suppressed aggression, which prevents even useful edits from being perceived. There is a great chance that the employee or partner will endure such a method of criticism and will not be outraged by them in an acceptable form, but trust will be undermined.
Remember that for quality work (including relationships) it is important to maintain a so-called healthy emotional climate, so choose quality between speed and quality. It is not necessary in the general chat to explain who did what was wrong if you understand the actions of a particular person and even want the others not to repeat his mistakes. It would be more correct to talk separately with the person, clarify everything and put him on the rails again, and then, as far as possible from this case, give general instructions to all employees. If this method seems too gentle to you, remember that criticism is needed only to improve the process, and good relationships allow you to do it faster.
Do not demand an immediate response
right:
I do not insist. Let's talk again tomorrow?
Our body evolutionarily hates all sorts of changes, because they can be dangerous (self-preservation instinct, everything). And even in such a rational business as work and building relationships, the fear of the new takes place and prevents you from becoming faster, higher, stronger. In terms of the perception of criticism, this is expressed in the fact that anyone needs not so much detailed discussion, but time to perceive new information and embed it in its operating system. Therefore, being angry with the fact that the interlocutor does not take a half-kick of your ideally built burger criticism is pointless and harmful to relationships. And to find out how much time is required for such an awareness, do not speculate, but simply ask a question - simple solutions are sometimes the best.
Give feedback, not instructions
wrong:
Just eat less and move more.
This advice is more suitable for personal relationships. We all care for loved ones, but sometimes care can take disrespectful and useless forms. Just because you emphasize the importance of a moment in a relationship, how criticism will work better than if you immediately give instructions on how to correct that moment.
First, the finished instruction may not work. One should never forget that even the most sensible person cannot know and foresee everything and does not control the situation to the same extent as the addressee of the council, and therefore cannot offer a flawless scenario of productive behavior. Secondly, the very presentation of the finished instruction indirectly makes it clear that you do not respect the right of another person to your own informed choice, and your recipe seems to be the only true one. The first step in such cases is to express your attitude to the situation. This may seem to be calf-like tenderness, but if a person is important to you and your feelings, he will listen to the effect that his actions have on you. So, expressing your doubts and arguments in favor of a strategy is much more useful than simply insisting on it.
Criticize what can be fixed
wrong:
With a voice like yours, only in karaoke and walk
Just in case, we repeat that criticism is needed in order to solve problems and move on. It is often mixed with the need to relieve tension or show that the relationship does not bring the expected comfort or result. In such cases, criticism often turns into a “personality transition” and leaves no chance for further resolution of the conflict. Compare, for example, the statements “How did you get late?” And “You are usually punctual, but the second day is half an hour late. Has something happened?”. In the first case, the promise is clear, but it only irritates the vis-a-vis, in the latter it is also read, but does not generate a negative.
Criticism of things that can not be fixed, also does not cause anything but resentment or irritation, depending on how the person is used to react to trouble. It is important that there are things that can not be objectively corrected (for example, one’s height), there are those that a specific person cannot correct (“stop feeling upset” if he is depressed). If you want to avoid frustration and not exacerbate the conflict, take these features for granted and try not to change them, but your attitude towards them.
Illustrations: Katya Dorokhina
