She is not guilty: How are trying to rehabilitate abyuzerov
"On the first day here, I would say that the blame for what was happening, fifty to fifty or sixty to forty is distributed between me and my wife. But now I understand that 98-99% is to blame, ”says a man in a wide T-shirt with the emblem of a sports team. He is one of twelve men who came to the group class today for those prone to domestic violence. On plastic chairs, Arranged in a circle, all sorts of people are sitting - in sweatshirts, caps, hoodies, and T-shirts with logos of favorite teams. built around what goth ova and want to tell the men themselves.
This is not the first lesson of the course, and many already look at partnerships differently - although, of course, not all. Someone present was left with his wife or partner and with the help of classes trying to build relationships; someone started a new relationship and learns to resolve conflicts without violence; someone is trying to reconnect with the children. Some recall that they themselves were victims of domestic violence in childhood, and now they are repeating what happened to them. Many have abused alcohol and drugs; One of the participants admits that he goes not only here, but also for three or four other support groups a week.
The large hall, where I sit, belongs to the organization Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs, abbreviated DAIP. Outside, you can see Lake Superior - we are in Duluth, Minnesota, a city that many people know as the birthplace of Bob Dylan and one of the locales of the Fargo series. Here was born the Dulut model of combating domestic violence, the methods of which are applied in other cities of the United States and the world.
Dulut model
The DAIP was created in 1980 by three activists - then the organization was called the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, it had to support a shelter for victims of domestic violence. The first year, the entire DAIP was located in the kitchen room above the free clinic, and only after that the activists managed to move to a larger space. In the early years of its existence, the organization came up with a so-called coordinated community response (coordinated community response) - a model in which the whole community would support the victim of violence, not just special organizations and activists. Activists began to work with the police and the judiciary and teach them how to better interact with victims of domestic violence, and also lobbied for changing the arrest procedures themselves so that the victim would be safe as soon as possible. The process was not easy and slow, but brought fruit.
Practically from the very beginning, the DAIP began to work with the students themselves. At first, organization volunteers visited men arrested for domestic violence, the next morning after their arrest and talked to them about the consequences of their actions. At the same time, DAIP has always believed that it is impossible to solve the problem of domestic violence only by imprisonment - therefore, in 1982, groups were launched for men who resort to physical violence. At first, the programs were devoted only to anger management, but by the mid-eighties, the organizers realized that this was not enough - and turned their attention to cultural attitudes that legitimize violence. Now group classes in DAIP are designed for twenty-seven weeks, they are paid. According to the organization, last year there were three hundred and twenty-seven people. DAIP notes that seven out of ten people who completed the course are no longer arrested for domestic violence.
Reconsidered masculinity
DAIP is one of the first, but far from the only organization that works with abuser tools. The first such programs appeared in the late 1970s, and also in the USA - for example, EMERGE in Boston, AMEND in Denver and RAVEN in St. Louis. One of the oldest European programs - the Norwegian Alternative to Violence - appeared in 1987. In the UK, the Domestic Violence Intervention Project (DVIP) started one of the first such programs in 1992 - they took the work of Duluth, Boston and New Zealand as the basis of the methodology.
Most often, such organizations offer group work - many believe that it is more effective. Some also offer individual psychological counseling or family therapy for an abuzer or its victim. Groups for those who committed domestic violence are not necessarily led by licensed therapists: the coordinators may be former victims of domestic violence or the abusers themselves who have rethought their behavior and want to help others. But this does not mean that work is not controlled at all: organizations work according to special methods and conduct trainings for employees.
Stanislav Khotskyi, an expert on work with aggression, anger and violence, believes that the basis for effective work with those who use violence is a non-judgmental attitude towards the individual. "This is a basic rule for any area of psychological work, but here it is especially important because the topic is charged and provokes to violate this principle. That is why I do not use the words" abuser "," rapist "and the like, replacing them with the non-judging author “- he says. - I think that the work is effective if the psychologist leaves any moralism and focuses on analyzing the client’s needs, why he chooses violence, what the consequences are and what can be chosen instead.”
"We draw parallels with what their partner or partner can feel in a relationship where the rules are set by someone else and the rules always benefit only him."
In the US state of Iowa, they are trying to rate Achieving Change Through Values-Based Behavior (ACTV), that is, “Changes achieved through behavior based on high moral principles.” Creator of the course, University of Iowa researcher Amy Zarling, believes that programs that work with a sense of shame to those responsible for the violence are less effective. At ACTV, learners are taught to understand their feelings and emotions — and also to cope with them and not to become enraged if these emotions turn out to be negative.
In the House of Ruth Maryland organization, which helps victims of violence and also works with prospectors, much attention is paid to developing empathy for the victims in the latter. “We work in low-income areas of the city, among those who come to us are very many non-white people with low incomes. We know that many participants in our programs faced racism or found themselves in a situation where they felt helpless,” says the director training programs and educational programs of House of Ruth Maryland Lisa Nitsch. - We ask how they feel when it seems to them that someone else sets the rules and the rules are always in favor of this person. We ask what it is like to feel that your work is not enough or when the guard follows you on the heels when you shop at the store. They get angry, sad, angry, feel hurt. Then we draw parallels with what their partner or partner can feel, where the rules are set by who something different and the rules always benefit only him. " Nitsch says that in class they talk a lot about prejudice and sexist stereotypes.
In House of Ruth Maryland they work with both men and abuser women. According to Liza Nitsch, each case is individual, but if it is strongly generalized, then men are more often led to domestic violence by a sense of superiority. Women, however, may resort to domestic violence, since in the past they themselves were its victims - and they do not want this to happen again. Nitsch emphasizes that nothing justifies violence, but says that these discoveries can help prevent it in the future - if you fight gender stereotypes, create a new image of masculinity that is not related to violence, and protect women from violence in the family and in partnership.
In Russia, too, there are organizations that work with men who resort to domestic violence. One of the most famous is the St. Petersburg ANO "Men of the XXI Century", created in 2007 with the support of the INGO Women's Crisis Center. Specialists of the center offer individual and group counseling to those who feel that they are prone to violence in relationships - the basis of the work was taken Norwegian methods. In recent years, the organization has begun to help and specialists from other regions - to conduct master classes and supervision for psychologists and social workers.
Psychologists of the “Crisis Center for Women’s Aid” in Astrakhan developed the program “Reconsidered courage” - it implies both group work and individual counseling. A similar free program was launched by the specialists of the Family Center in Tomsk - they also promise to work here in groups and individually.
Nevertheless, it is too early to say that such programs in Russia have become commonplace. There is still no law on domestic violence in the country, the attitude to the problem remains ambiguous, and the culture of psychotherapy is only beginning to develop - therefore, this is still an isolated experiment.
Involuntary participation
The main question that inevitably arises when discussing methods of working with abusers is how effective they are at all. Studies show that between fifty and ninety percent of men who have undergone a program to counter violence are subsequently refraining from physical manifestations of aggression (they took into account periods from six months to three years after the end of the course). At the same time, it is difficult to assess whether the violence in the partnership ceases, at least because the data on re-arrests do not give a complete picture of the situation. Abyuzers who have passed through the program can simply learn to better hide their behavior or move on to other forms of abuse — psychological or economic violence: for example, control the victim’s finances or forbid her to see other people.
In addition, not all program participants pass them from beginning to end. According to several studies conducted from 1986 to 2001, from 22 to 42% of participants in American and Canadian programs at a certain stage, they are abandoned. Attracting participants is no less difficult than keeping them in the program - and many experts also complain about this. That is why organizations often work primarily with those who come to them by court decision, if the country's legislation allows. The court may require the aggressor to undergo a course of therapy instead of imprisonment, as well as after or during it.
Liza Nitsch notes that most of the participants in House of Ruth Maryland programs sign up for them exactly at the direction of the court; Some are sent by children's rights organizations or other social services. “Unfortunately, even in almost twenty years of work, I never met a person who would come to this place voluntarily, who would not have any motivation from the outside,” she says. “Most partners who use violence in relationships feel that they are justified, or blamed on the victims. They rarely admit that they need to deal with the problem, and if this happens, it is unlikely that they will sign up for a long-term program - especially paid. "
"Many of my clients were given the choice of going to prison or to me for a course of treatment. And a significant part of them chose prison."
Stanislav Khotsky believes that there are two main reasons that stop men from asking for help. The first is the lack of knowledge of what psychological work really is. "There are common misconceptions that a psychologist either treats or teaches how to live. On the one hand, a man does not want to associate himself with mental illness, but on the other, it is unpleasant for him to play the role of a student in such an intimate sphere as a relationship with a partner" notes specialist. The second reason, according to Stanislav Khotsky, is in stereotypes — for example, that a “real” man must deal with problems on his own. "In addition, many believe that it is the woman who is responsible for the emotional climate in the family. Then male violence is the result of her failure. It often seems to those who come to me," the expert adds.
Anna Kornienko, head of the Center for MIGIP to eliminate the consequences of aggression and violence, believes that men who resort to physical violence rarely see this as a problem: “Most often they think that they are doing the right thing: she herself provoked, she is guilty, we shouldn’t bury. they go to a psychologist? Estela Weldon, a forensic psychotherapist who works with criminals, says: "Many of my clients were given the choice to go to prison or to me for a course of treatment. And a large part of them chose prison." Kie man sad emotions of melancholy, anxiety, grief -. But they may prefer to deal with all the adversity itself I think if a man allowed himself to share their experiences with someone, it would be easier to talk quietly with his wife. ".
Photo: antova13 - stock.adobe.com (1, 2)
