How I answered calls a week
In 2016, the telephone calls already considered something uncomfortable and even indecent. More often than not, we really do not want to break away from business and instantly dive into another context, but, perhaps, constantly in correspondence, we miss some important aspect of communication? Beka Grimm ventured on a bold experiment and for the whole week answered all messages only with calls - and managed not only not to lose friends, but also to learn something new.
The first day
I started the experiment on Tuesday morning, at first everything went smoothly. A friend, Kelly, wrote to me about dinner plans and her thoughts on tattoos. I immediately moved away from my workplace and called her back. We discussed the design of the tattoo, then which shop we will go to, and the meeting time - all in two minutes. The conversation ended with a friendly declaration of love and wishes of a good day to each other. It seems that calling is super pleasant and effective. I wonder why I haven't done this before.
Morning was coming to an end, and the number of incoming messages began to grow. I could not respond to them as promptly - after all, I have a job, and I appreciate the fact of its existence (therefore, I warned the boss about the experiment). The sister sent a photo of her child, the former neighbor asked for the recipe for my company cake, and the guy I was dating wished a good day. During the break, I decided to call my neighbor - despite the fact that her message came a long time ago and she obviously also has a job, she replied.
- Yo.
- Hello. Are you talking about mummy's pecan pie recipe? Which we baked a few years ago?
- Yes-ah. It would be awesome to get it.
- Great. I will send you by mail.
- Thank! Love you.
- Love you too! Have a nice day.
Boom. Another successful interaction lasting less than a minute. Then I tried to call my sister, but she did not pick up the phone. There was a guy.
- Hello!
- Yeah. Good day to you, too.
- (laughs) OK. Thank.
- Cool, bye.
- Until.
It took ten seconds. I was impressed with the speed and how often friends said they loved me before hanging up. Despite the fact that the call requires effort, it seems that it is not so stressful.
At a meeting with a friend, I accidentally called Max. He replied with the message: "What is it?" I called again to say that I had dialed him by mistake. He again wrote the message: "Are you alright? Do I need to suspend my meeting and talk?" Then I remembered that, in general, calls without warning by our generation are usually perceived as a matter of life and death, so I just wrote that everything is fine.
Later that evening I had a meeting of a group of writers. When we finished, I went to my car and saw that the rear window was smashed to smithereens and the seat was strewn with shards - it all looked like glass confetti with the reflection of the moon in it. Someone robbed my car, so I dialed 911 for the second time in my life. Many messages came to my annoyed tweet about the robbery, so in response to each one I called back with increased pressure. It was the first time the experiment caused me inconvenience. I was driving home with the shower curtain pressed against the door, and she slammed loudly from the wind all the way from Grant Park to Kirkwood. I drove through a red light, and it became the second rule of the day that I broke: I also complained to my dad about SMS.
Second day
On Wednesday, I woke up already tired after two tablets of melatonin, which I swallowed when I finally got home at one in the morning after talking to the police. I decided that my car without glass was unfit for movement, so I warned the authorities that I would work from home today. A flurry of friendly messages from colleagues forced us to respond to some with a message - obviously, the day of victories does not start like that. I called a colleague with whom I had a particularly close relationship to write passwords to me - I store them very professionally on my desktop.
I had an insurance agent alternately dangling on the telephone line, car glass companies and dad companies, so there was no time to write a message to someone. I tried to call a few friends, but few answered - apparently, because not all of them work from the couch in the middle of the day on the couch in a pair of the most comfortable workouts. My old friend from Twitter wrote me a tweet and - suddenly - answered when I called him.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I would add more quotes, but I did not have the opportunity to record all the dialogues. It was a pleasant conversation, in which we covered quite a lot of topics: work, relationships, whether I would come soon to the west coast. I hung up and looked at the phone screen: we talked for eight minutes. It would take me two hours to transfer all this information through messages — perhaps one if there were two bourbons before.
A colleague wrote to me about a ridiculous photo in which I posed for our holiday guide. I called back.
- Hello.
- Oooke.
- (Mad laughter.) (Whistling, driving sounds.)
- Thank. Until!
-… until?
He immediately sent a message:
- Mmm, well, of course, you can use this photo. I have a few more stranger, I'll throw them off later
- I googled hyphae, which would accurately reflect my emotions from this call. Unfortunately, the hypha "Puzzled man almost crashes into the car while thinking about life and eating Cheetos" does not exist
I began to consciously ignore the messages. It's a bit of a scam, but consider that I bought this day in an online store with 24 packs of mineral water, bleach and an industrial-scale box of cereal. At the same time, my deadlines were tight and I promised to come to the book club in the evening. I could not muster my strength to call, so I wrote a letter. I could send an SMS, but then I would have to call back - and I really did not want to do that. I wondered how much more difficult it was to arrange business and meetings, while the messages did not crowd out other forms of communication. I felt bad, so I went to bed at eight in the evening.
Third day
All morning I was discussing dinner plans for the mail and in the end I almost canceled it - but at least I did not ignore messages like yesterday. In the end, the dinner with a friend managed to agree on GChat, but then one of them started a fucking general chat. This is exactly the thing I was most afraid of. We'll have to call back with three friends. I dialed Gray because she started a chat.
- Hello!
- Hello. I'm looking for parking.
This dialogue really was not worth recording. After two rounds of negotiations, we separated. I went home to feed the cat and call a third friend. In the end, I got to the venue, we cooked food, then drank a little more homemade wine than it should, and it turned out to be a little stronger than it should. The guy, whom I scared on Tuesday with a call with a wish for a good day, lives nearby, so I stayed with him, scoring on the messages and justifying myself for that amount of alcohol.
Day four
Rebeca's friend wrote me about her idea for the article. I called her, but she promised to call back later. At the school where Rebecca works, the cellular connection is blocked, so she had to go quite far to take the call. I instantly felt like a beast for causing such inconvenience.
The day at work turned out to be loaded and therefore quickly passed. The editor of this experiment writes me messages, knowing that I will have to call back. Replies, giggling. We, like a friend from Twitter, discuss quite a lot of things for some four minutes. I also had a very quick call to a local musician, with whom I was briefly familiar with the work and the toggle switch - he wrote me about his soon show. We never talked on the phone before, and I wondered if he thought my call was strange - after him he had sent a few more messages. I didn’t answer them anymore because I couldn’t call him back so quickly.
In the evening I planned to meet with Max in the art gallery to listen to a concert by the Rebeca group. He was late, and when I wrote messages, I called back with growing impatience. At this time, for some reason, a man in a suit was walking around the lobby next to me.
Fifth day
Sixth day
Seventh day
findings
This experiment can be assessed differently. In general, I wanted to encourage others with the novelty of this way of communication. In some cases, talking on the phone was unexpectedly pleasant and provoked a feeling of intimacy — it lay in the details and intonations that could not be conveyed in the text. This is really a pleasant discovery that showed how little time it sometimes takes to make contact with a person.
It's nice that I had to be selective in communication. Instead of sending short messages to a bunch of friends at once, I was forced to make more conscious contact with several people. This influenced my social circle and reduced it to a comfortable size. At the same time, romance has become stronger. It is strange to voice, but, honestly, how easy is it to write to some attractive guy while waiting for a bill in a restaurant or while your lover is taking a shower? Very simple. The impossibility of such a flirtation was an excellent exercise in self-control. The sense of presence at the moment spread to other situations not related to sex, and helped to spend valuable time in real communication.
Nevertheless, the experiment put the relationship at risk. Although the caller may not have in mind anything urgent - when people pick up the phone, they prepare for serious news. The interviewee should also be free and be in the mood for conversation - and this is a serious request. In the end, you — the caller — either demand something, or at least inconvenience your interlocutor.
After the experiment, sprawled elegantly on the couch with corn chips, I heard the bell - the guy I was meeting was calling. “You turned me into a person who likes to call,” he said. By this time I had already explained everything to everyone about the experiment, but the calls from him and some friends did not stop. I, in principle, do not mind.