Behind the open doors: Guide to sex in the city and in nature
Text: Tatyana Nikonova, author of Sam Jones's Diary sex blog
Summer in most of Russia is short and happy, and almost all the time we try to spend in the fresh air. Sex is not an exception, so we offer to understand how city dwellers diversify their intimate leisure, do not disturb anyone and not be killed.
In the town
Roofs Remain one of the most popular places for unauthorized entertainment in the city for many years: the view is breathtaking, returning close to home. Raspberry spoil two circumstances. First, scout the roof in advance - there are many where they are locked up, including for security reasons (and for good reason). Secondly, when an ownerless roof appears, there is a mass of hunters on it. Some of them are as innocent as your goals, and some - to drink and hang out. Go early in the morning on the selected roof and look at the traces of the night stay. It is quite easy to determine from them whether your neighbors will be dangerous or will quietly continue their way behind the nearest pipe.
If your date is accompanied by the use of drinks or even a small picnic, be sure to pick up trash (condoms, we recall, they are also considered). Behind you, another romantic-minded couple may appear, and the garbage and the risk of getting hurt about a broken bottle will ruin the whole mood for it. Balconies seem to be the ideal replacement option (unless, of course, you have a personal exit from the apartment to the roof): apart from the trouble of breaking up the mother's flowerpot or being filmed by a neighbor, there are no problems. Almost nothing helps from neighbors, just accept or hang up bamboo blinds. And then you never know where and when this video pops up.
Caution: Do not encroach on the roofs of unfinished buildings and construction projects in general - this is truly dangerous and unhygienic. In such places it is easy to get stuck in the fixture, break something (yourself or a partner) or run into something sticking out (not what you think). Use only well lit places or examined during the day and considered safe.
City Parks - Another super popular location for sex in warm time. There are many places, trees and arbors beckon, spreading bushes willingly provide shelter to a homeless couple. The vegetation in the parks is usually treated with insecticides, so there is a low risk of picking up a tick, but inquisitive ants and spruce needles nibbling on the ass go nowhere. Exit: use the shops, besides, when approaching outsiders behind them, you can temporarily hide while you are wearing pants or straightening your skirt. Sports facilities and children's playgrounds seem to be an even more obvious solution, but in fact they pose many dangers. In well-groomed parks, they are well lit in the dark time of the day and are constantly busy wishing in the light. In the unkempt, all the glands creak in such a manner that all the neighboring dog-men who are doing the evening exercise come running to the noise. So, if you’re really impatient, choose something without moving parts.
Caution: Amusement parks are a different matter. Best for those who are excited by danger, the Ferris wheel is suitable - of course, with a closed cabin and no fellow travelers. And also wash off quickly after the descent, until the inhabitants of the neighboring booths, who have discovered atypical views instead of the city panorama, have had their fingers on you.
"Around the corner" It requires not only a certain courage, but also a certain dementia: promising sex in neighborhoods, and especially in places of interest and especially crowded places, promises adventures that are not at all sexual in nature. It seems to you that there is no one around, and passers-by will not pay attention. In addition, any large objects of serious importance are under surveillance around the clock, and a decent part of these random civilians go back and forth to work. In order not to be swept up, put each other's hand in your pants in front of the Mausoleum is much safer during the day, when there are a lot of people around and they won't catch you right away. Unless, of course, no one shouts that children are walking here (and will be right).
Caution: Fans of walking on the edge can look like fitting rooms in malls: in crowded time (and in summer schoolchildren and students roam en masse in the afternoon in shopping centers) it is more difficult to track how much time you spent there. There is practically no need to undress, but pay attention to the sticker "Smile, they take you off!" - perhaps she is there for a reason. There is also a risk to buy something “at the same time” or as a moral and material reckoning.
Outdoors
forests, meadows and fields - places where you can finally retire without restrictions. Just a couple of hours to stand in a traffic jam weekend on the outskirts of the city. Even if you are driving a noisy company, there is always a place at the place of arrival behind the tree where no one will see you. But be careful: the bucolic pleasures on a plaid captured with you or even in a tent are accompanied by dangers of catching tick-borne encephalitis and borreliosis (aka Lyme disease). Before you get dressed, look at each other in search of a tick. If there is, take it to the nearest infectious diseases laboratory to find out if this tick specifically transfers what it is and if it is time for you to be treated. However, if you are bitten, it is not necessarily a tick, it may just hurt, and some may develop an allergic reaction to the bite. Treat the body and clothing with insect repellent before entering the green zone, and you will have to worry much less. Another mandatory principle: always use condoms, because personal hygiene in such places is difficult. Then collect them and take them to the dumpster with the rest of the summer holidaymakers.
Caution: Open air and music festivals outside the city are especially popular with spontaneous (and not so) sexual activities. But do not forget that dancing rage along with the use of various substances reduces the criticality and ability to take care of their own safety. Train your autopilot to properly put on condoms in any condition.
Boatsif you got to the reservoir, look very romantic. But if you find an unowned boat on the bank of a typical Russian river, the chances of drowning or splashing something higher than getting a lot of pleasure: it will probably be torn. If the boat is clearly the owner, have a conscience, return it to the site and make sure that the traces of your life at the bottom did not remain. Someone on it then go fishing, maybe even with the family. And do not use the boat on the water, if at least one of you can not swim. The latter applies to yachts, if we are not talking about giant floating houses. Be careful with acrobatics on the deck and avoid sex in pitching: you can hurt yourself or repeat the trick with vomiting from teenage American comedies.
Caution: The shores of reservoirs and beaches promise not only delight, but also trivial troubles, primarily related to comfort and hygiene. Sand in the vagina and questionable water, the purity of which you are unlikely to plan to check, is fraught with sores, irritations and infections. Better use a changing room or beach shower, even if there is no one around.