Pupil and torturer: What you need to understand about violence in schools
School harassment and violence in general - completely new and a poorly reflective topic for discussion in Russia. Perhaps that is why last year's scandal with a multi-year violation of ethical standards in the Moscow 57th school turned out to be so painful and revealing. Recently, a court in absentia arrested the former school teacher Boris Meerson - he is accused of seducing a minor student. In addition, investigators check reports of sexual harassment in the "League of Schools", the investigation of which was published on the "Medusa". It became clear that the school hierarchy required both a new language and a clear set of rules of conduct - without ambiguities and false romance.
On March 14, Sexprosvet18 + conducted an open discussion on ethics in relations between teachers and students. Family psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya, associate professor of child and family psychotherapy at the Moscow State Pedagogical University Natalia Kedrova, Ph.D. in psychological sciences Anna Schwartz, teacher of social studies at the Intellectual school Alexei Makarov, neuropsychologist Nadezhda Monastyrskaya, philologist and anthropologist Yevgenia Litvin, and sex blogger Tatyana Nikonova, and sex blogger Tatyana Nikonova, and the sex blogger, participated. . We carefully listened to this conversation and offer its most important questions and conclusions.
Violence at school is not only harassment and harassment.
School violence is not limited to criminal acts. At first glance, innocent practice can be considered coercion to select mobile phones in class and even a diary entry demanding “take action”, which is fully capable of provoking aggression in the family.
An attempt to solve their own problems at the expense of students is also violence.
Sometimes a teacher consistently humiliates one student in the classroom to intimidate others. Some of the teachers enter into informal relationships with high school students (for example, drink beer with them on the bench) to get rid of the feeling of loneliness. Some teachers allow scabrous jokes about specific teenagers and everyone's laughter increases their authority in the classroom. Using disciples for personal use is an unacceptable and violent practice.
School is a territory of coercion.
The school that we inherited, except for individual oases, is permeated with violence in itself. It is almost an army unit of people who are prepared to carry out orders, do the same tasks and walk in uniform. But this is tolerable, as long as teachers do not violate the personal, psychological and physiological boundaries of children. The student and the teacher are two formalized hierarchical roles, which already implies coercion, and from this it is an order of magnitude more difficult to mark its framework.
Emotional attachment to the teacher - the ground for the abuse
There is an idea that informal relations between student and teacher help in the educational process. But is it? And how to determine the boundaries of this informality? Thus, children often do not talk about abjuz because they are afraid of losing the family atmosphere that is present in the school. For example, a similar trend was observed in the case of the "League of Schools". In this case, a completely natural question arises, why does the child not feel the family atmosphere at home?
Determining the boundaries of school violence is often very difficult.
When a teacher hits a child with a ruler on his hands, we have no doubt that what is happening is wrong, but when it comes to psychological pressure, it is very difficult to prove the fact of violence.
A good teacher is a person who constantly thinks about the student’s personal boundaries.
The teacher must always reflect on the appropriateness of his statements or touches, and in difficult cases, consult with colleagues or a school psychologist. But, unfortunately, a rudimentary notion of indisputable teaching authority often prevents this.
Physical contact is one of the most difficult moments in hierarchical relationships.
Can a teacher hug his student? In some European countries, this question was decided radically and banned any contact, and only a school psychologist was allowed to remain alone with the student. This approach has many advantages. But what if the child cries and the teacher has no opportunity to hug him? Perhaps, such practices are very difficult to formalize. It is important to teach children to talk openly about how they relate to this or that touch, and also to find the right words for this.
Parents should explain to the child where their personal boundaries pass.
Any abuzz rests on the silence of the victim. So parents should explain to children that they are the masters of their bodies, from the earliest years. Even grandmothers, who upon arrival to his beloved grandson begin to squeeze and touch him tirelessly, in a certain sense, transgress the borders. The child receives the wrong message that the good intentions of adults is more important than his own feelings. For parents, it is important to show the difference between a beloved grandmother and an abuzer, who puts an unfamiliar child on his lap. Children must learn to decide who and how can touch them - this is the basis for a healthy personality development, as well as an ethical attitude towards the personal boundaries of other people.
Sex education can be the prevention of harassment and abuse in schools
Good sex education should be based on three pillars: an explanation of the principles of consent (actively expressed consent), safety (both physical and emotional), as well as designation of the role of sexual relations in human life. Thus, a clear understanding of their own autonomy can help students talk openly about incidents of violence.
In the event of a conflict in the school, parents should take the side of the child.
Facing violence in school, children often do not receive adequate support from their parents. The latter often prefer to support the position of the teacher, not wanting to undermine his authority. This is a very traumatic situation for a child. So the so-called mother tigress, able to protect their child by all means, generally behave correctly. Their children feel much more secure and calmer at school.
Controlling violence in schools should not be their directors, but independent bodies.
For example, the ethical service of the commissioner on relevant issues, which would establish uniform standards of behavior and have real mechanisms of pressure on the management of educational institutions. It is unlikely that the director of a particular school will want to wash dirty linen in public and arrange a loud trial on unobvious cases of harassment or abuse.
PHOTO:picsfive - stock.adobe.com (1, 2), Vlad Ivantcov - stock.adobe.com