What is sex education and why it is needed at any age
"Let's talk about sex, baby, let's talk about you and me, let's talk about sex. Don't decoy, avoid the topic - because it’s going to stop it ", - they sang in the old hit Salt-N-Pepa." Sex is a topic that you cannot avoid if you went with the children to the zoo, - With these words, John Oliver opens his program 25 years later. “Nobody wants to talk about sex with children - and not a single child wants to talk about sex with their parents.” Around the topic of sex education many copies break down: do you need it at all? And when it should be introduced? We tell how sex education appeared what problems it helps to solve, and how things are with the sex gap in Russia.
What is the meaning of sex education
Under the definition of sex education falls any training course, where they talk about intimate life. It can be either about pure physiology, or in conjunction with the psychology of relationships or with a story about gender roles. Contrary to popular notions, sex education lessons are conducted not only for high school students, they are needed by people of different ages - from young children who can easily understand the ideas of consent and refusal, privacy and bodily boundaries, to adults who learn to communicate with a partner and fill in the gaps in knowledge gained in childhood and adolescence. About what should be sexual education, there are endless disputes. Different societies answer this question differently: while in Sweden and the Netherlands middle school students talk about contraception and sexual orientation, in China parents confine themselves to vague hints that sex is inseparable from marriage.
The world's first sex education program was born out of practical necessity - the fight against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted (especially early) pregnancies. One of the first countries where sex education was introduced was Sweden - as early as the 30s of the last century, well-known sociologists Gunnar and Alva Myrdal, who studied low-income families, proved that they need sexuality education to improve the quality of life as well as affordable housing. They were led to this conclusion by the fact that in such families, as a rule, there were many children, and parents would be happy not to give birth to them anymore - but they did not know anything about the methods of family planning.
Then the views of scientists considered controversial, but after a couple of decades, their conclusions began to apply to all segments of the population. In 1956, compulsory sex education classes were introduced into the Swedish school curriculum, and in 1964, schoolchildren were no longer told that sex outside marriage was unacceptable. The Swedish system of sex education is still considered the most progressive and today includes a discussion of very different aspects of close relationships between people and everything that can affect them, including talk about alcohol, discussion of gender issues and schoolchildren's ideas about their own body. About Swedish sex education again actively talked about last year, when the Swedish movie about penis and vagina, intended for children 3-6 years, became viral.
How to say "about it" with children of different ages
Information on the lessons of sex education for children of different ages should be submitted accordingly to the age and in the form that will be understandable and accessible to the child. For example, starting from the age of two, you can and should talk about ideas of consent and refusal with a child, and more “adult” issues, such as sexual orientation, should be discussed with schoolchildren.
Teaching sex education in elementary school is accepted, for example, in the Netherlands: Dutch children are told about what love is, and they are taught to recognize the limits of their own body. Contrary to prejudice, children in elementary school do not talk about the intricacies of intimate relationships: sex education programs in elementary school much more often include talking about feelings, as well as basic explanations of sex differences between boys and girls and answering the question of where children come from. In addition, children are told about the "rule of underwear": they are explained that all those parts of the body covered by underwear are intimate and no one else can see and touch them.
This approach is supported by the Council of Europe, which launched the One in Five campaign against child sexual abuse. As part of this campaign, children are asked to report the correct names of the genitals and teach them not to be shy to talk about them with their parents or doctors. In addition, children are taught to distinguish between "good" secrets (pleasant and easy) from "bad" (inspiring fear or anxiety) - the latter should be shared with their parents. Rapists often create an atmosphere of secrecy and shame around their victims, and as long as the child is silent, parents may not even suspect that he has been subjected to violence.
The authors of such programs rely on data from numerous studies confirming that children who do not have basic knowledge are more likely to suffer from pedophiles than their more savvy peers. Similar measures are being prepared in Malaysia, where in 2014 a scandal connected with a pedophile who raped dozens of children throughout Southeast Asia broke out. Professional associations of pediatricians in Malaysia spoke in favor of introducing such measures: despite the fact that in Malaysian society, talking about sex is still taboo, doctors advocate sex education for children for their own safety.
As they grow older, children begin to explore other topics. In the Netherlands, young children do not talk about sex directly, but they are gradually brought to this topic: by the age of seven, students should know the names of the male and female genital organs, and at the age of eleven years be familiar with such topics as sexual harassment and erection.
In the Canadian province of Ontario, second graders study lesson issues of consent and sexual integrity, third graders learn about concepts of gender identity and sexual orientation, and seventh graders learn about the dangers of sexting and STDs. In the UK, sex education is mandatory for children 11 years and older. Some elements of the program are mandatory for study, in other cases, parents have the right to take the child from school.
Experts believe that at the age of 9-11 years, students should receive information about puberty and how their body is changing, as well as learn more about peer pressure and how to resist it. At the age of thirteen and older, students need information about body image, pregnancy, abstinence, contraception, HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, as well as talking about how to build relationships.
Sex education for adolescents includes a story about puberty, sexual orientation and the importance of contraception and visits to the doctor. Sex education lessons can be divided between several subjects, such as biology and social studies.
In recent years, we more often hear about the need to speak frankly with teenagers about sex - primarily because modern teenagers have a lot more pornography than previous generations, and they often see porn as a study guide. Some experts say that sex education works best when children discuss important issues for them in a comfortable environment, and not just talk about the structure of the genitals. They believe that a trusting atmosphere and an honest conversation about the ethical and psychological aspects of relationships — respecting personal boundaries, harmony, pleasure, sexual orientation, and ideas about one’s own body — help to achieve better results.
As the taboo on talking about sex is removed, schoolchildren begin to ask more questions. Correct lessons can help teens cope with complexes about their own appearance and body, and sometimes with harassment from classmates. In addition, some modern specialists say that sex education classes should not be divided by gender: not only girls but also boys should know about women's health and menstruation. In their opinion, such an approach forms a simpler and healthier attitude towards women's health.
What is the state of sex education in Russia
In Russia, sex education has not yet been included in the school curriculum, not least because of the conservative trends of recent years. The views of today's government were best expressed by Pavel Astakhov, stating that there could be no sex education in Russia. In this approach, there is nothing new: in Soviet schools they did not talk about sex, and the chapter on the reproductive system appeared in the anatomy textbook only in 1986.
Now, from the lessons of biology and life safety, schoolchildren will learn about the human reproductive system, pregnancy, reproductive health, HIV and other infections prevention, and family law. But one cannot talk about a single level of sex education in Russia: the completeness and accuracy of the information given in class depends entirely on the teacher. Big brands often take part in the sexual education of girls: their representatives come to schools and give lectures about menstruation and the use of pads and tampons, while P & G, for example, has a website where girls are told about puberty and how use tampons and pads correctly.
In Russia, there is still a taboo on talking about sex, not only in school, but also in the family. According to a recent statistical study that Boris Shapiro, a member of the Expert Council on Sexuality Education of the WHO European Bureau, told in an interview at Echo of Moscow, two thirds of parents cannot talk about sex with children, while 80% of teachers believe that sex education should be conducted in family. As a result, children often start looking for missing information themselves - and find it on the Internet or learn from the words of their peers. The level of teenage pregnancies in Russia at the same time remains high: according to the UN data for 2013, there were 30 pregnancies per thousand girls aged 15 to 19. More than 60% of Russians had sex before they reached the age of 19, while 70% of adolescent girls admitted that they would like to know more about contraception.
In the 1990s, in Russia, with the participation of the UN, a sex education program was developed that was never implemented - according to Boris Shapiro, it turned out to be too frank and frightened parents and teachers, who still remembered the Soviet education system with its shy ignorance of the human reproductive system. Nevertheless, the United Nations strongly recommends that Russian schools introduce sex education lessons that are especially important against the background of the HIV epidemic.
In recent years, Russia has witnessed a real boom in training courses on how to improve the quality of sex and give pleasure to a partner, mostly aimed at women, but they cannot replace sex clearance for adults. Sexual education of adults in our country is carried out by separate public organizations - this is the lecture “Sex-Clearance”, as well as the society RANIR and “The Bunch of Rowan”. The activity of the latter is focused primarily on health problems. All of them are most active on the Internet, and RANIR publishes the journal "Problems of Reproductive Health", which can be downloaded for free in PDF.
Why do adults have something to learn
Numerous taboos around sex and the inability of parents and teachers to talk about this with children (leading to a lot of problems in adulthood) is not only a Russian problem: many European countries, for example, the United Kingdom, face it. In such countries, NGOs where young volunteers work are engaged in sex education: it is easier for them to establish contact with adolescents and young people who are interested in these issues.
By a similar principle, sex education programs for adults are arranged. Although it is believed that an adult person himself can understand where his problems are and find the right specialist, this is not always the case. As acknowledged by Kate McCombs, sex education specialists from New York, without having received the necessary knowledge at school, adults face the same problems as teenagers: they get a lot of pornography, advertising of sex toys and courses on how to deliver partner pleasure, but many adults do not know how to discuss their preferences with a partner or suffer from psychological trauma. And if you can read about the proper use of sex toys on the Internet, then a specialist should deal with serious problems.
The most difficult is for those adults who have not received any sex education. This is also indicated by migrants who have moved to more progressive European countries, having already finished school. Young people who came to Europe to work with regret talk about the prejudices that are common in their home countries. In Germany, faced with the influx of migrants, they created a special website detailing sex - not only about health and methods of protection, but also about the ways of acquaintance adopted in Germany, and cultural features related to intimate life. Compulsory sex education courses for migrants were introduced in Norway. They pay more attention to the adaptation to the European culture of immigrants from countries with a patriarchal structure and lectures on harmony, gender equality, and norms of behavior.
Is it true that a conservative approach is ineffective
Along with advanced sex education programs, there are others that are common in some conservative countries in Europe and some US states. They largely repeat the very first sex education programs developed before the sexual revolution, and argue that children should not know anything about sex - for their own peace and security. Unfortunately, such programs have the exact opposite effect, and American studies illustrate this best of all: it is in conservative states that teenagers start having sex early, have poor protection, and more often become pregnant. The research of Catholic Northern Ireland shows the same, where sex education is poorly developed and abortion is prohibited by law. The same can be said about Orthodox Romania, one of the most religious countries in Europe, where there are 35 pregnancies for every thousand girls aged 15-19.
Representatives of some Christian denominations are actively in favor of conservative sex education: for example, religious schools often invite members of such groups to lecture to students. Some religious communities arrange for their members "chastity balls" or other ceremonies in which girls take a vow to preserve their virginity until marriage.
Few of the graduates of religious schools really observe all the prohibitions that are imposed on them - but at the same time, many complain of serious psychological consequences after they are violated. In addition, people who since childhood have inspired shame in front of everything that even indirectly concerns sex can experience shame not only in front of a new partner, but also when visiting a doctor. Very often, conservative programs manipulate feelings of guilt, shame, disgust and fear: they compare those who had more than one partner with used adhesive tape and talk about chastity as a duty to society. A similar film shown in Russia went even further and told schoolchildren about telegony (pseudoscientific theory about the transfer of the first partner’s genes to the woman’s first child, regardless of who became the father of the child) and compared a woman who had more than one partner with garbage.
And if for many such a comparison seems just silly, then what conclusion can a victim of violence, for example, make? Elizabeth Smart, who at the age of 14 kidnapped a maniac and raped for nine months, said that such comparisons can take away the last hope of the victim. Having coped with her difficult experience, she devoted her life to combating violence and now she is trying to get schoolchildren to be told about sexual violence and taught to fight it.
Why is propaganda of health, and not promiscuity?
As far back as 1998, the UN recognized human rights as access to reliable medical information, which includes information on contraception. Currently, the UN is spending enormous efforts on the spread of sex education in Asia and Africa, where problems such as STDs and early pregnancy are particularly acute (the second most common cause of death for girls between 15 and 19 years old in the world).
It is unlikely that society will soon reach an absolute consensus on what to tell teens about sex and when. In 2013, the Center for the Study of Civil Society and the Non-Profit Sector of the Higher School of Economics National University conducted a survey among more than 500 parents who have minor children. 62% of participants believe that it is necessary to introduce a sex education course in schools, the remaining 38% are against it. При этом одно из основных опасений родителей - что уроки спровоцируют у школьников интерес к сексу. Однако трудно спорить с результатами исследований: если мы хотим, чтобы дети были здоровыми, не подвергались насилию и не сталкивались с ранними беременностями, стоит честно рассказывать им о сексе. Примеры стран Северной Европы, которые считаются одними из самых благополучных в мире по таким показателям, как подростковые беременности, венерические заболевания, и аборты, где количество подростковых беременностей стремится к нулю, а 80 % подростков предохраняется с самого первого сексуального контакта, доказывают, что правильно выстроенное половое воспитание в школе не приносит ничего, кроме пользы.
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