"Pain and tears are in the past": I opened a ballet group for plus-size people
It seems that ballet is only available. people with certain parameters, ready to stand at the machine for days on end and, of course, very thin. At the same time, today many people do it not to go on the stage of the theater, but to strengthen the body and bring in a useful exercise - but people of any body want to dance and be flexible. Alina Zvereva, a ballerina and founder of the Let's ballet studio, told how she once hated the ballet and her own body, and then imbued with the ideas of body positive and opened the studio with a group for plus-size students.
I was born and raised in St. Petersburg, I entered the Academy of Russian Ballet at the age of ten, so by my first education I am a ballet dancer. The nine years I spent in college almost destroyed my self-esteem and made me hate dancing with all my heart. At the Academy, each academic year ended with an exam, after which professors were dismissed. Then it seemed to me that if they expelled, life would end, because apart from ballet, I could not do anything. I tried my best, went to extra classes, fully laid out in class - but there was no satisfaction, as if I was striving for an unattainable goal and did not see the end of the road.
At that time there were no social networks and no one wrote to ballerinas in the comments how airy and beautiful they are. There were only teachers who were almost always dissatisfied with us. I remember how after the final exam I went for a walk along Nevsky Prospect and for the first time in my life I thought that I breathe freely and do not strive for anything. My parents supported me, they saw me exhausted; In addition, health problems began. In general, after I graduated from the Academy, the whole family sighed with relief.
By ballet standards, I have average data — medium height, not very long legs and arms — so I never considered myself beautiful. True, during the years of study, I hardly sat on diets: I could even eat forbidden pasta and potatoes, and this had no effect on the figure. Full-time classmates drank one water, and one girl fainted right during the exam — overwork and endless diets affected. When the constant training ended, I immediately gained five kilograms and at first was horrified by the numbers on the scales. She sat on a diet, but did not last long, fell over. After that I tried several more times, but the weight did not budge, and I gradually got used to my new, "non-ballet" body.
Since the ballet career did not work out, I threw the pointe shoes on the top shelf of the cabinet and entered the journalism department. At university, the girls wore heels, did fantastic makeup, and I again acutely felt my "ugliness." I wanted to be the same as the bright and popular fellow students, and again I began to strive for an unattainable ideal - and the complexes returned.
I immediately wrote a few girls. For example, the teacher put one of them in the center of the hall and said to everyone: "Just look at her, never do as she does!" - the other one did not hesitate to point to “overweight” and “inappropriate” shape of the legs.
Eight years passed, during which I did not recall the dances. Once a friend who has an educational project, suggested that I conduct a ballet lesson in the open air, on the quay by the pond. I thought the idea of such an alternative ballet class, where there are no walls, dust and stale air, seemed to be pretty, and I agreed. Five people came to class, and everyone enjoyed it. Then I thought - why not take up teaching seriously? It was in August, and I was able to hold the first lesson only in mid-January - I thought for a long time, decided and answered myself the question: "Do I have a right?"
After the New Year holidays, I published an announcement about the recruitment of the group, and several girls immediately wrote to me — they told me about the unsuccessful experience of dancing. For example, the teacher put one of them in the center of the hall and said to everyone: "Just look at her, never do as she does!" - the other one did not hesitate to point out the “overweight” and “unsuitable” shape of the legs. I spent several evenings, responding to messages and persuading me to come to me to at least try. I could not believe it - is it really that bad? Are there really no ballet groups today, where they would not use the whip method and did not hint at "imperfections", destroying any desire to dance?
Five to ten people came to the first classes, among them were very thin, and girls with magnificent forms. We have a small but friendly community, we go together to exhibitions, to theaters and have dinner in a cafe. I tried to make the space comfortable for everyone, and in two years the studio has grown greatly; Often the record had to be closed two weeks before the start of classes.
Simultaneously with the opening of the ballet studio, I learned about bodypositive: I started reading articles, I subscribed to several blogger members on instagram. Then I hated being photographed, and I did not have a single picture in social networks. It seemed that from the side I looked just awful. When a friend posted a photo that seemed to me unsuccessful, and marked me on them, I simply deleted my Facebook account. And these girls published photos of themselves in swimsuits! I fascinated looking at body hair, stretch marks, heavy weight and ... absolute calmness in my eyes. It seemed to me that the people who spread it comprehended Zen. But when I read the comments under the pictures, I felt sick. It was obvious that society was completely unprepared to notice fat people and allow them to be as they are.
Once in one of the communities I saw a comment from a girl who was interested in dancing schools where full people are involved. It turned out that in such a big city like St. Petersburg there are practically no such studios - and there is a request for them. I met Alexandra Kolesnik, who invented the “All My Own” dance school - there lady-style, dancehall and yoga were taught. I really liked the idea and its execution, I even suggested that Sasha cooperate, but didn’t have a little time: the school was closed.
Then I decided to try to create a ballet group for plus-size girls. Wrote in several VKontakte groups and bodipositive bloggers on Instagram. I thought that I would have to pay for the announcements, but everyone I contacted was glad to agree to publish the information for free. In March of this year, twelve people attended classes. I asked to talk about any health problems or well-being and tried to make the lessons as comfortable as possible. We do the basic exercises on the floor and do a little work at the machine. In my classes there is no discipline, you can make noise, laugh and ask questions loudly. And still stop when it becomes hard, and drink water.
But the main thing is not the number of approaches and the height of the raised leg, but the atmosphere. I want that in my classes there was a portal to another reality, where there are no rivals, competition or anger that were in the school where I studied. Where no one compares themselves with others and is not upset about it. I want to, despite the physical exertion, internally students were completely relaxed.
Now we are engaged once a week. Girls like, they are already involved in the game. They want to jump higher, learn to make pirouettes and bend. In one of the recent classes, I thought about what I had done to myself a huge gift by creating such lessons. I showed myself that ballet classes can be completely different, and pain and tears can be left in the past. I felt that I gradually get rid of my own complexes and find myself in my place. I create a studio in which I would be good to do myself.
In one of the recent classes, I thought about what I had done to myself a huge gift by creating such lessons. I showed myself that ballet classes can be completely different, and pain and tears can be left in the past.
I would like to see a calm, healthy attitude to the human body in society, without worship or aggression. The body is an amazing mechanism by which we can do incredible things. Including dance. I really do not want the entrance to the dance world to be on lottery tickets, for some lucky ones who were lucky to be born with a certain length of legs. Stop imposing so many restrictions on yourself.
I want to expand the plus-size group so that female students can perform, prepare rooms and performances. I want this idea to catch fire on other dance schools and such groups become the norm. Now there are only newcomers in the group, and gradually I will transfer them to the group of those who continue - there is no longer any separation and full people are training next to thin ones.
It is sad that it is the individual thematic groups that are in demand now - this indicates that the complexes and stereotypes that we have grafted since childhood are very strong. What to be full of "shame" and you need to hide your body as much as possible from prying eyes. On the other hand, if at the initial stage it is comfortable for girls in a separate group, where they understand that they are not alone, they learn to love and understand their body and not compare themselves with anyone - so be it, but as ballet skills and comfort develop by themselves they will be able to go into groups where all the girls are of different builds and nobody cares.