“Nobody is a hero”: How volunteers cope with burnout
With professional burnout first of all, those whose work involves a large emotional load are faced: for example, oncologists often see the death of patients, and the employees of palliative centers suffer and hurt. We asked the volunteer, the president of a charitable foundation, and the director of a social television program how people involved in charity deal with their feelings and why they don’t give up.
I started doing charity work about ten years ago, becoming a volunteer "Give Life"; Now I am the founder and president of the own foundation "Galchonok". We help in several areas: firstly, there is a huge shortage of rehabilitation quotas in the country, so we pay for targeted assistance, wheelchairs and so on. We also develop inclusion so that children with neurological features can go to a regular school and be included in the environment - they learn according to an individual program, along with a tutor. We are also engaged in socialization, we are holding the annual family festival Galafest - this is an event for the whole family and all citizens.
The most difficult thing in my job is to lead people. It requires a lot of experience and expertise, which is not always enough. It is also very difficult to refuse if the receipt of applications has ended. At the same time, great joy is brought by the understanding that real help is born from the idea of help. Here we told about a child - and now we are paying for his rehabilitation. And, of course, it's cool when you manage to advance in large and complex projects, such as Tracty.net, and attract new partners.
It seems to me that burnout is a word that means several things at once: loss of motivation, loss of interest, fatigue. My interest is huge, and there is more than enough motivation, so I have to cope only with fatigue and disappointment - and this, in theory, can be done by any adult. It does not seem to me that in the charity sector they are fading in some particular special color. If problems of a psychological nature exist, they are unlikely to leave the change of activity alone; it is imperative to seek help from the therapist and with it to understand how to reallocate resources. It is better, of course, to do this in advance, and not when you hate the very mention of affairs.
I'm just very interested in what I do. In a past life, before I took up social issues, I worked as a lawyer. I didn’t like it very much, and therefore I was a bad specialist - from this, in my opinion, you burn out even faster. It is difficult to love what is bad or not very interesting.
I live in Kazan and from time to time I collaborate with a studio that makes TV shows. Three years ago we received a grant for a new project - this was our first work on volunteering and charity. Called "Territory of the world" and goes in Tatarstan. My aunt, who lives in Siberia and every week expects a link from me to the next issue, calls it "a transfer about good".
The description says "about people who make the world better" - but over time, the second part of this phrase has lost its meaning for me. It seems to me that we were shooting just about people: animal defenders, eco-activists, volunteers and volunteers of all stripes. They were not heroes, did not save the world, often got tired and did not know what to do, their stories did not always end happily. While I was next to the volunteers, I understood a few important things.
For example, the director of a well-known charity foundation said that she did not know how to "cope with fatigue" and "conquer emotions", always be kind and persistent. Devastation happens regularly, but in ten years she has learned to accept herself as she is and to calmly live through these states. And I realized that no one is a hero - no one knows how to always be in shape, always want to help and be good with everyone. Even if you are the director of a charitable foundation, you still don't always want to help.
The hospital clown Fania said that there is no pity in the clown: “When you come to the child and you feel sorry for him, because he has cerebral palsy, he will not want to play with you. And when you say:“ Listen, how interesting and surprising you are ! "- he immediately joins the game. This is so much sincerity, so much reciprocity, it is a completely different interaction." The first thing you learn in school hospital clowning is to spare no one. And I realized that this is the coolest thing that a person can learn.
Another very important attention to yourself. One day, the director of the inclusive theater said that if you do something while overworking yourself, it will not be long enough for you. And I realized that helping is sharing something that you have in abundance, and not tearing the heart out of your chest, winding nerves on the chandelier and falling dead. No one can save everyone, and in general no one needs to be saved - as they say. The sooner you realize that you are not a hero, the better everything will be. The head of a volunteer organization said she was engaged in charity out of selfishness. And everyone I spoke with said that he was helping others for himself.
There are a million ways to help anyone. People, animals, nature, shelters for children, shelters for adults, shelters for animals, homes, parks, libraries. But you will not force anyone, you will not explain and you will not be persuaded to help. No one is required to be a volunteer. True, if a person became him, then it is for a long time. And, as the director of a charitable foundation said, sometimes you want to quit everything - but this will not happen.
I always tried to do something useful, but my help was usually short-term or one-time. When I came to the integration center for children of refugees and migrants "Same Children", I began to volunteer all the time - I really love children and easily get in touch with them.
Migrants and refugees are in an unjust position: these people are forced to leave home because of political conflict, war or poverty. They just want a better life for themselves and their families. The situation of those who "came in large numbers" in Russia is unenviable: in addition to problems with documents, housing and work, some children are not taken to kindergartens and schools; they have little opportunity to develop. Children are certainly not to blame for the instability of our world, so I believe that regardless of gender, nationality, language, skin color, we must help them adapt to society.
The center is engaged in the adaptation and training of children of migrants and refugees. We have six programs for children of different ages - I coordinate the course "Preschooler School", in which we prepare children 5-7 years for school. There are many difficulties: the majority of volunteers are amateurs in matters of children's education, and I am among them. When you have no teaching experience, it is difficult to keep the child’s attention and, for example, explain the difference between vowels and consonants. Often children come who do not know Russian at all, and you need to communicate with them literally on your fingers. Of course, volunteers with pedagogical education help - we try to learn from their experience, and children quickly absorb everything. And, of course, it is impossible not to describe the joy and pride that you feel when a child begins to count to ten or sing songs in Russian.
Each family has its own history, and sometimes children are emotionally unstable: they don’t make contact, they don’t trust, they fear, they show aggression towards other children and volunteers. Our task is to show the child that we will not do him anything bad, but, on the contrary, we want to give him love, care and knowledge. That is why I really love to joke and hug with children. At first, many people avoid new people, but over time this passes - and during the games, five children can start hugging me at the same time, some make phone calls or record funny voice messages, someone brings cute, hand-made gifts.
Unfortunately, there are situations when a child needs the help of a professional, such as a psychologist or a doctor. In such cases, we all center are looking for solutions, especially if parents can not afford to turn to professionals. But in general, any child needs attention and communication. Many children are at home with their mothers, because their mother is afraid to go out, and my father works all day - who will you play with? In such situations, our center is the only chance for a child to socialize and develop. When children do not come (for example, they get sick themselves or the parent who brings the child to classes), they are very bored. During the summer holidays, my parents periodically call me and ask if there will be any activities - the children are waiting for this. Therefore, on holidays we organize trips to the theaters, to a picnic, to the zoo.
I work at Ernst & Young, and physically combining work and volunteering is not easy: I can't get out of work to solve some problems of the center, escort a child to a doctor, a psychologist or somewhere else. Fortunately, there is always someone from the volunteers who help out. In the evenings, after the main work, I proceed to the affairs of the center: I keep lists, draw up reports, plan calls. I have kids all weekend too.
In order not to burn out, I set myself a time frame - for example, I try not to spend a lot of time on lunch and not linger on the main work. After devoting a few hours to myself (for example, I go to a beauty salon or meet with friends), but since half past nine in the evening I have been working on the documents of the center. True, with all the desire to clearly plan is difficult, but by the end of the week I want to close at home, turn off the phone and laptop. But, on the other hand, I am very weak when dealing with children - this is my personal form of recreation.
Of course, emotional burnout also happens - the first time it happened to me after traveling around Africa, and it took time to recover. The "pre-state" of burnout sometimes attacks me even now. Over time, thanks to the center, I realized that it is important for a volunteer to objectively evaluate one's strength and to look at things soberly. Previously, with burning eyes and slogans “I will save the world”, I plunged into this activity and burned, now I learn objectivity, controlling emotions, take breaks for rest.
The desire to prydat and quit everything, of course, sometimes arises, but literally for a minute. I try to be wiser, and I also love our children very much, so that it is easy to take and give up, and the desire to change the world for the better has not disappeared. I often hear questions like "why are you helping them?" or "is it difficult to communicate with such children?". What - so? Sincere, funny, open? Absolutely not hard. Moreover, they inspire me and teach me a lot.