Female Misogyny: What makes us despise our gender
Is it necessary today in an atmosphere of discussion about feminism and equality to prove that women are not worse than men? Surprisingly, yes. The conviction that the female gender “fails” to the male, the attitude to women as creatures mostly foolish, weak or dangerous - all this misogyny, or, in other words, misogyny. Spilled in society by an invisible layer, sometimes in a sympathetic patronizing form, it is enshrined in popular wisdom ("the chicken is not a bird, the woman is not a man") and even in philosophical writings. Schopenhauer suggested that women should be considered "a kind of intermediate stage between a child and a man," while Otto Weininger radicalized the thesis and declared that "a woman is nothing." As a result, there are books with titles like “The End of Feminism: What Is a Woman Different from a Man,” and should not be taken as a special case of obscurantism.
Justifying rape of women and jokes about “chicks” are only a part of what misogyny does with society
In the minds of people prone to misogyny, the man behind the wheel of an expensive car earned it, and the woman “sucked on” and, sitting behind the wheel, immediately became the cause of mortal danger on the road. In turn, the mind, decisiveness and the ability to think logically as if gets to men by default and the right of birth. Such stereotypes make it possible to divide people into a higher grade and a worse grade, permeating all walks of life and constructing a complex network of hierarchies, the basis of which is that women are in many ways or in all inferior to men. This patriarchal thesis, which many consider to be an axiom, determines the configuration of power relations in society, creates a platform for discriminatory attitudes based on gender and forms a field of unequal opportunities.
However, do not think that misogyny is peculiar only to men. There is a notion of internal misdiagnosis, when women support the stereotypes “all women are bitches”, “women are not able to think logically” or “asked for it themselves”, agreeing that “you can't argue here” and “the way it is”. Feminism raised the problem of internal misgyny and its harmfulness, and it was he who suggested and began to use the practice of its recognition and elimination. By tracking examples and misogynistic phrases-markers among women, feminist optics makes it possible to understand how we become agents of self-discrimination, what consequences this leads to and how to deal with it.
Such a negative attitude towards his own sex seems to be paradoxical, but due to the fact that it is everywhere, the female misogyny does not shock anyone. In addition, the negative assessment of the “weaker sex” demonstrated by “their own people” causes more trust and looks like an indisputable reality, with which even women themselves agree. Misogyny flows from the receiver in the voice of Irina Allegrova ("we are all women - bitches"), from the pages of women's publications ("it is easier for me to communicate with men") and even from the lips of famous activists ("millions of girls wanting weakness and submission"). If you multiply such cues by the number of times they sound every day, it becomes clear that the problem should not be underestimated.
The underlined contempt, and even hatred for one’s gender, is taken not from scratch or from a good life. We begin to use internal misogynic practices forcedly, often unconsciously, counting on “dividends” in the form of social approval. First of all, it gives a feeling of belonging to a male, more privileged society, an increase in one’s own status in comparison with other women and, ultimately, a more comfortable position in the conditions of patriarchy. Tacit attitudes that behaving “like a woman” are bad, and “like a man” are, on the contrary, good, leading to the fact that women have a desire to distance themselves from “chicks” and generally from their gender, condemning “female” traits, and also to adopt male behavior patterns. Surely, many of us can remember how we preferred to behave “in a boy’s way”, and in extreme cases, choose only the male circle of friends, reproducing patriarchal logic and confirming that “there’s nothing to talk about with women”.
"Women" and "men" are abstract groups invented and endowed with specific meanings by ourselves.
Such prejudices against their own sex also give rise to the traditional division of professions and interests based on gender: “smart-male” (sports, science, politics) and “silly-female” (knitting, cooking, fashion). Even to Wonderzine, accusations are regularly heard that it is not necessary for an edition for modern and progressive women to write about clothes, food recipes and cosmetics. As a graduate of the Faculty of History and Philology of the Russian State Humanitarian University recalled, "in our intellectual company it was considered to be decent to wear jeans, sneakers and large backpacks, and I looked down on all elegant girls all my years in university life as fools, as the highest chic of everyday behavior for girls were considered to be able to drink vodka without zapivka and without a snack: when one young man noticed that I "drink vodka like a man," there was no limit to my happiness. Now, of course, remember this is ridiculous. " As a result, “girlish talk”, “girlish thoughts” and “girlish interests” are characterized by people as empty, meaningless and insignificant - and these views are often shared by women themselves.
Another trigger for female misogyny is related to the internal hierarchy in the female environment. Women's roles are limited by a variety of frameworks: nationality, bodily conformity to the canon, age, reproductive abilities, sexuality, and so on. On their basis a certain unified "ideal" of a woman is being formed. All the diversity of personalities, characters, hobbies and abilities is reduced to a single position "Woman", with a fixed set of prescriptions and opportunities. This, in turn, forcedly hierarchicalizes women according to the degree of conformity to a pattern and competes to compete with each other for the right to be the best of these, and not enjoy their uniqueness. The same effect of constant “female competition” is also given by public radicalization of the “serpentine”, “enemy” essence of women, fueling distrust of other women, as well as questioning the possibility of full-fledged female friendship and mutual support.
Internal misogyny is also concentrated where the position is “guilty” itself - where the reasons for beating or rape of women are sought and found. In the comments to the sensational tragedy of Tatiana Andreeva, you can see another facet of internal misogyny in the case of rape: the idea that self-defense is not like a woman. The eerie "normalization" of women suggests that the active position of the defense is impossible, and even criminal, punishable. The misgynical message of interpretation of this story is that a “normal woman”: a) will not be in a motel; b) will not be in a situation of inclination to what she does not want (sex under duress); c) understand the danger of a situation in advance and will not fall into such a situation in principle. If a woman got into a situation, it means that something is wrong with her.
Misogyny is presented as a question, contrived and unserious in a world where there are "more important problems"
At the same time, misogyny is often presented as a question contrived, frivolous and non-political in a world where there are "more important problems". The very term of misogyny, like that of feminism, has negative connotations - as a result, instead of highlighting the problem areas of the existence of women, these concepts themselves require justifications and explanations at the stage of entering public discourses. A good example is the recent heated debate about the use of the word "heifer." The position of feminists who insist on the disrespectful implication of this word and its connection with more severe forms of discrimination against women was perceived by many as “woman's nonsense”, having nothing to do with solving “serious” problems.
Platforms for misogyny are not unique and are not limited to face-to-face disputes about "tello". If in the professional sphere, the directors select staff, based not on the professional and personal characteristics of the potential specialist, but on the reluctance to work in the women's team - this is an internal misogyny. In the academic environment, women can block the institutional development of women with the active advancement of men in an academic career, putting forth not the scientific achievements of candidates, but gender. Physicality, sexual practices, relations with one's own reproduction - areas where canonical notions of "normality" are formed into a system that detects and stigmatizes "abnormal". Such actions and practices support the fire of internal disunity and hatred of women towards each other, fueling it not only from the outside, but also from the inside.
To see a misogyny around oneself means to understand that some unpleasant moments in life can be associated not with an attitude towards a particular woman, but with an attitude towards her as part of a group of people of a certain sex with a set of unified characteristics. "You are a fool, not because you are a fool, but because a woman." Aggression and contempt addressed to the group can and should be recognized. And then you need to decide whether to ask questions only about what to do with the consequences of aggression, or try to change your own framework of comfort and design your own position regarding specific people (and not their gender), trying to overcome the limits of misunderstanding. It may be that each of us uses mis-formulas in his life — these codes are not so easily recognized when they are directed outward. Knowing this also helps one to be aware of one’s own prejudices and prejudices. Bringing them to the surface, making them visible is a step towards supporting all women in their diversity and herself, not least.
To give birth, to defend their interests, to be activists, to be happy housewife, to strive for career solvency - any activity is good for the time being, it is not counted as the only true for every woman in the world. Justifying rape of women and jokes about “chicks” are only a part of what misogyny does with society. When misogyny becomes a dense and extremely real background for every person’s life, society is divided according to the rhetoric of patriarchy. An antidote for us can be the understanding that "women" and "men" are abstract groups that were invented and endowed with certain meanings by ourselves. After all, first of all we are people. Stupidity, determination, emotionality, the desire to have children, professionalism - by and large, it's all about the person. What is her or his gender, the question is secondary.
If you use a filter on mizoginia in everyday life, you can discover how some things are being reinterpreted. For example, the stereotypical phrase "if a woman is beaten, it is she who asked for herself" ceases to be a statement of the "natural" ability of a woman to "bring" a man to physical abuse. Questions can already be put in another way: whether we want to be members of a community in which to beat / beat people of either sex is normal; how the idea of the permissibility of physical assault in relations was formed; is it worth to ignore the fact that the support and cohesion of women against assault is a profitable strategy for the emergence of new positions for women, where the gray zone of domestic violence at least begins to be covered by law and so on.
In general, internal misyginia can be called an effective tool for constructing the disunity of women. The veil of prejudice, stereotypes, clichés and hatred envelops the patriarchal society, hierarchizes women, imposes a unified version of the "norm" in our behavior, inquiries, expectations from each other and from ourselves. At the same time, internal misogyny takes women away from themselves as far as they can. It objectifies and divides us, and also makes us look at each other through the prism of eternal competition.
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