Born a girl - be patient: What is wrong with children's encyclopedias
In a world where all the information you can getUsing Kindle and YouTube, bookstores still dedicate entire wardrobes to the genre of children's encyclopedias. There are no questions about information about dinosaurs, pirates, rare animals and birds, wonders of the world, great commanders - what can not be said about encyclopedias for girls and their faithful companions, manuals for boys. On Ozon.ru, for example, a whole section is devoted to these books. In the online store "Labyrinth" such benefits relate to the heading "Etiquette, appearance, hygiene, personal safety." The old school book "Moscow" blurryly called them "educational and informative literature for schoolchildren."
However, not everyone adheres to this point of view - for example, the publishing house Mann, Ivanov and Ferber does not have a single gender-oriented book on hygiene and home economics in the catalog - only adolescent non-fiction on programming, creativity and the natural sciences and educational books for children . Parents are satisfied. Mom of fifteen-year-old Dasha, Setka product manager Tatyana Gorelik, for example, did not buy such books and does not plan. "In the era of the Internet by my daughter, I did not notice any interest in such books."
Lessons for princesses
Books for teenage girls cover several topics: handicraft and home economics, looks and self-care, love and friendship. Some combine recipes with ideas of a first date, others (for example, the work of cosmetologist Darya Lozovskaya "Beauty Lessons for Real Princesses") are strictly devoted to one group of questions. But the main problem of all is common: a clever alternation of useful skills with the subjective assessments of the author. So, Daria Lozovskaya, the author of “Beauty Lessons for Real Princesses,” believes that “the best beauty at a young age is precisely that it is good looking, fresh and clean, but in no way hard and rude” this is a fifteen year old Kate Moss).
The heroine of books for girls is the future mistress and wife. In terms of quality, she is not very different from the ideal woman of Russian TV shows: always polite, wise, equally confidently feeling on a ski track and at the stove, cheerful and interesting, but in no way obsessive. The more modern the leadership, the more attention the author pays to communicate with the opposite sex - some even offer blank SMS responses, not to mention the interpretation of secret attention signs that boys in love quietly serve (for example, for a long time, silently look at the subject of their adoration). Girls are taught to make up, do their hair, brush their teeth and remove unwanted hair to become "the very-most." Some go further and offer to calculate your ideal weight and revise the diet, if the resulting figure suddenly turns out to be a couple of kilograms more. In general, as Gregory Oster said, "born a girl - be patient." And work on becoming a Komsomol, athlete, beauty.
The heroine of books for girls is the future mistress and wife: polite, wry, confident, feeling confident on the ski track and at the stove, cheerful and interesting, but not intrusive
There are, however, two reference benefits, which, by virtue of habit and lack of obvious flaws, parents used to trust: the work of Sofia Mogilevskaya "Girls, a book for you" and "Academy of domestic wizards" by Saida Sakharova. If other encyclopedias pass unnoticed, many readers remember these books with warmth. The main editor of Mama.ru, Dina Mingaliyeva, the mother of nine-year-old Eva, is one of them. “When I was little, I was mostly attracted by lyrical digressions, such as those accompanying“ a hundred recipes how to cook potatoes ”and“ ten ways to clean ink from calico gowns. ”In them Mogilev told stories about the war. For example, children from orphanages were starving and dreamed of eating potatoes with oil and coarse salt. The world of ink and potatoes with oil that was so far from me was fascinating, "she recalls.
And Eve's book came to taste - nowadays, kulebyaka and emery powder are much more exotic than tapioca balls, spinner or tweezers. “The only thing I was very surprised was that the author of the book tells all the girls to cook only in a headscarf. In general, I think that everyone should be able to cook and clean everything, both boys and girls,” says Eva. Dina is still thinking of buying a book for her daughter that tells everything about boys and girls by Francoise Bush. “Tatiana Nikonova advises her children of that age. I think that the same things should be explained to children of both sexes. I tell Eva about self-care - and if I have nothing to say, help her friends,” Dina says, “ discussion of modern books for "future princesses."
Old school
But no matter how good the books of the old school are, you cannot cross out the decades that share us with their authors. During this time, almost everything has changed: store shelves are full of food (albeit slightly different than five years ago), kerchiefs and aprons are cheaper and easier to buy on AliExpress, than to sew in a lesson in labor, and the reprimand of Kalinka from the Academy of Wizards "and colloquial" cool "instead of literary" good "does not cause anything at all except a smile.
To follow the culinary advice of Saharova and Mogilyov literally means to forget about healthy eating and to bury yourself in bread crumbs and butter. The idea of a universal sauce consisting of a tablespoon of butter and the same amount of flour, or a festive salad from a can of peas, packs of mayonnaise and a hundred grams of ham is not a scary idea. It is frightening that after this meal, instead of playing in the village or the town, we go to watch another series and hunt for different items.
It is even more difficult to follow the proposed ideals of a good girl, a student, an athlete and a housewife. And what if you do not feel at ease at the stove? And if you have a bear on your hoop since childhood? And what about the days when there are seven lessons, one of which is physical education, the other is the control one, and even a tutor after school? Encyclopedias for girls set such a high bar that a rare adult can jump over it. We would rather order food and call a cliner than try to embrace the immense after work. Is it fair to demand from children what we do not plan to do ourselves?
And what if you do not feel at ease at the stove? And if you have a bear on your hoop since childhood?
Darya Grosheva, a family psychologist and founder of the Family Building project, explains the emergence of such encyclopedias by the author’s desire to help a teenager accept her changing identity. According to her, they are designed for those who are important to have a guide to adulthood. “The child is at a crossroads: the demands on him and the amount of responsibility are increasing, but at the same time he still depends on his parents. He already feels himself as an adult, but in many respects remains a child. In this difficult period, it is important to have a foothold. Who am I? How do others see me? Who likes me? Who likes me? ", - Daria describes this process. However, she acknowledges that the form and content of encyclopedias are at least controversial. “Through the book, the teenager learns the norm and begins to perceive his nascent individuality as“ not the norm. ”It is written:“ Every girl wants to like men ”- and if I have a different way, I need to change it sooner,” do you recognize yourself at 14?
This can potentially damage the psyche of a teenager and for a long time fix in his mind the data from the installation book. The specialist, by the way, believes that the conversation about the first menstruation with a girl is better for her mother, and not the conditional Larisa Ivanovna, who speaks through the mouths of magical characters. “It creates a distance in a relationship,” recalls Daria.
What's next?
The crisis of adolescent literature requires new books - interesting, useful, taking into account the increased availability of information and untied from the installations "man-breadwinner" and "woman-mistress". On the field of children's cooking, Jamie Oliver has been working successfully for a long time: he is sure that you need to learn to cook from childhood, because only this way healthy adults can be obtained, free from convenience foods and fast food. His latest book, "5 Ingredients: Quick & Easy Food," is designed for children (and is always shown to be occupied by adults) and is lured to the kitchen through simplicity and fun.
Sex Enlightenment plans to do Tatiana Nikonov, who launched in early August, raising funds for the textbook "Science of sex for teens." This book should remove from parents the need to invent euphemisms and help them talk with children on a difficult topic. And the creator of the community for LGBT teenagers “Children-404” Lena Klimova wants to give moral support to adolescents who are confronted with bullying, violence and toxic friendship. Parents should also read these books - after all, no textbook can replace live communication with a child, during which he can ask questions and understand how his knowledge correlates with his particular way of life.
Jamie Oliver is sure that you need to learn how to cook since childhood, only this way you get adults who are free from convenience foods and fast food.
Lena Klimova recalls that books for girls from her childhood were "limited and stingy": "They told me that the older ones should always be obeyed - but they didn’t say what to do if a physical education teacher quietly tweaked you lower back. I will find my soul mate and love some guy, but they didn’t say what to do if I liked the woman. They told how to choose a suitable diet, because the body is always imperfect, but they didn’t say what anorexia is and what to do if I know it from my own experience. They told “I’ll definitely get married, but they didn’t ask me to think about whether I want to do it,” she says. “They said: all normal girls love cooking and sewing. All normal girls will marry and have children. I don’t like it? So, I the wrong girl. Bad. Deformed. Damage. And unreal. "
Klimova said that after many years she understood: it was not her, but the world around her. "So anger and pain disappeared. I felt determination. I realized that I would write a book I would like to read myself: about physical and mental health, eating disorders, about healthy and unhealthy relationships, about how to defend personal boundaries, to decide conflicts, coping with procrastination and low self-esteem, about female anatomy, sex and contraception, about sexual orientation, about how fruitful to learn and cope with bullying. limit aetsya the birth of children and housework. The world is diverse and open to her. It is important to understand what she really wanted, what she likes, what brings the most joy. I am writing this book right now. Wish me luck. "
