10 rules of sex at once: How to organize it and not be disappointed
Text: Tatyana Nikonova, author of Sam Jones's Diary sex blog
One-time sexual adventures in the Russian language, they have not yet invented their name; they often use the expression one night stand, although they practice the unnamed right and left. There are many situations when you do not want to give up sex for one night, and you don’t need it. Let's say you want just sex with a partner, and masturbation does not satisfy. Or do you specifically like this person in front of you, you want him right now, and he, too, will probably not mind. Frequent case - you crave to swing a cowboy hat in the pose of a rider, but feel free to experiment with regular partners. So the question is not why this sex is needed, but how to organize it so that it will be great in the process and without an unpleasant aftertaste.
Set aside sex with a stranger in several very specific cases. Suppose you are interested in potentially painful or emotionally loaded practitioners. It is safer to explore them with a well-known and caring person, although it is not necessary to be in a romantic relationship with him. Barely familiar with this role is definitely not suitable. For the same reason, refuse if you have never had penetrative sex before and do not go mad of desire, but hope to go through the first time as through a medical procedure. Or you want to take revenge on her boyfriend, or do something else that is not really related to sex. Will not help.
If you clearly know what you want, look for a partner online through the dating services, taking into account their features and choosing the one that will annoy you the least. In Tinder, the naked torso in the photo will most likely respond to the call, the face will wisely hide, and you will be required to take ten photos in a bathing suit and without. The inhabitants of Mamba are sure that sex is offered only for a reward, they are treated accordingly, the exception is that they offer themselves for a fee. On Badoo, the names are in the rooms, if you are looking for a big and pure love, and when you need sex, they offer to go to the movies. Pure is designed specifically to search for sex, each offer is really an hour, but it continues to write off money from the card even after the application is removed from the phone, if you do not forget to close the subscription (and everybody forgets).
Come out on a quest with the clear intention of having a good time regardless of whether the adventure will happen or not: it is not Everest that needs to be conquered, therefore desperate determination is of no use here. In addition, to the contented and relaxed (not to be confused with helplessness), people are drawn, brazenly use this knowledge and flirt from the heart. Do not be afraid of bars and nightlife - many especially for that come. The main thing is that you don’t get drunk yourself and don’t pick up drunk ones - they are completely useless for good sex and, importantly, are not able to give informed consent to it.
Understand what they want from you. When another seemingly lonely girl swims up to a lonely girl at the bar counter, and it’s not happening in a specialized club, there’s a great chance that they’re actually calling you for threesome sex. Just talk as you should, as a new friend is announced. Three together is also an option, but if you counted on a tete-a-tete, you will have to slip away. Therefore, check with the girl if she is alone here before the moment when she offers to buy you a drink.
For you or me? In the short term, it is safer to go to you - it is easier to fight back at home, if something goes wrong, and that (or who) is waiting for you at the stranger’s apartment, you will not say in advance. In the long run, it is better to go to him, so that no one then stands under your windows and demands love and relationships. Decide on the situation, and call a taxi yourself using mobile applications or by calling from your own phone to the control room. This will clarify the new address and do not shine yours without the need
If you don’t drive men to yourself, don’t carry with you mountains of junk for life: most of you don’t need it anyway, and you always need to attach your bag somewhere. You can do without a brush once with toothpaste, the moisturizer will replace the after-shave balm found in a foreign bathroom, and you will not want to walk on the heels in the morning if it turns out that your legs have swollen after dancing, so you will not have to put yourself in order to walk together. Anyway, an adequate partner does not expect the same polished princess in the morning, whom he met in the evening, and let inadequate suffering in silence, welcome to Earth!
Be protected. Always carry condoms and wipes for oral sex - half of the HIV infections in the country occur during heterosexual intercourse. It is better to buy condoms with nonoxynol-9 (look for the mark on the package) - this is a spermicide, and if something happens to the gum, the chances of a catastrophe are reduced. It is logical that a man has his own size with him, but it is useless to count on it, especially since every third person still takes the size larger than necessary. Nevertheless, arrange a sanity check and ask if you need to go to the pharmacy on the way. To the question "Why?" boldly say goodbye You can’t even put a condom on such a condom, don’t waste time on it.
How to enjoy the process, and preferably an orgasm, and maybe even not one? Try not to try too hard, but at the same time be quite demanding. Studies show that women are laid out even in one-time meetings, and men - mostly within the framework of relationships. So a universal way to get satisfaction is to focus on your own pleasure and not be shy about showing and explaining what you want. American women carry sex toys with them, because the orgasm rarely shines for the first time (and most likely the last) meeting a woman with a man.
Cooking breakfast? It is better to ask whether it is worth staying until the morning. It is worth it, if there is no more strength, or there is hope for a repetition in the morning (or how long your adventure will last there). Not worth it, if his snoring prevents you from sleeping and the blanket is tightened. Sex is not a reason not to sleep, go home. And breakfast, if the continuation is not expected, better in the city. After idle talk about anything you will peacefully disperse, and no one will have to chase anyone. On the other hand, if you also like each other in the light of the day, everything can continue.
What to think about yourself if there was a planned (or not) sexual contact without serious intentions? Everything is exactly the same as before it. This does not characterize you in any special way, let alone in a negative way, no matter what the hypocrites consider it. The idea of a natural female propensity for loyalty to one partner and the inability to enjoy sex without commitment was relevant during the time of Darwin and was based on Victorian moral ideas. Modern researchers believe that people prior to the start of agriculture - that is, almost the entire existence of mankind as a species - were actively indulging in friendly promiscuity (see, for example, "Sex at the Dawn of Civilization" by Christopher Ryan and Casilda Jette), and we . It is worth straining only if one-time sex does not bring pleasure or repeats more often than we would like, and you do not control yourself.