Harmful stereotypes about "male" and "female" qualities
The famous book "Men from Mars, women from Venus" decisively paints one or another character trait into gender nuances. Separating "male" and "female" is a hackneyed trick of patriarchal rhetoric. Meanwhile, sociologists and psychologists all over the world point out that such a fragmentation is at least incorrect, and at most harmful, and that character traits are formed mainly under the influence of the environment, culture and personal experience. But the label "for women only" or "for men only" is still put on a number of human qualities. We talk about the most popular misconceptions on this matter.
Normal and "female" logic
One can still hear persistent appeals to take into account that the basis of "female" logic is a special way of thinking of women. The roots of the division of the brain into "male" and "female" go to the misguided popular notions of "women fools" and "the charm of some fools," who do not know how to coherently and consistently comprehend reality. And although research data confirm that there are no fundamental differences in the structure of the brain in men and women, in the public consciousness there is still some human - that is, "male" logic and special, incomplete, incomprehensible to the mind - "female." A vivid indicator of sexism in society is how it is customary to joke and argue that women can only think illogically, emotionally, biased, "not by facts, but by conclusions."
The whole structure of such a division "logic" is based on pseudoscientific harmful arguments and imposing, as an axiom, the idea that the ability to think and act logically is an exclusively male prerogative. One of the saddest consequences of the stereotype of “feminine” logic is the prejudices that women face in working relationships, leading to their almost complete absence among the leaders of Russian companies.
Strength and weakness
Strength, implying firmness of spirit, determination and courage - the basis of a typical model of masculinity. It is believed that a man should take the first step, take control of the situation. One has only to begin to list: "steel character", "iron grip", "strong shoulder", "unwavering hand" - and the brain will automatically draw a man. Weakness, fragility, softness - all these characteristics-antagonists refer to the typically female properties. And when it comes to the strong deed of a woman, she is easily credited with “strong eggs,” as if they are the only possible source of strength.
The stereotype was adjusted to the present, in which the "muscle play" and "fragile tenderness" were fixed as symbols. The market exploits certain symbols of power, like "male yogurt" in a bottle of expected dark colors or a deodorant with the slogan "One puff - all day man." Similar products for women use delicate pastel colors and floral pattern packaging. All this happens despite the simple fact that each of us, regardless of gender, may turn out to be strong as well as weak. And although it has long been clear that "We Can Do It!", Many continue to insist that "the strength of a woman is in her weakness" and in order to heighten the contrast of sexes with plain text they ask to be weaker - so as not to hurt the self-esteem of a man.
Emotionality and rationality
The stereotype about women who are completely subject to emotions, and, on the contrary, sensible men entrenched almost at the institutional level. Various pop psychological articles actively advise to take this difference into account and build relationships accordingly. A significant role in strengthening the stereotype is played by the feminine gloss: in it it is often proposed to “transfer from Russian to male” and “restrain emotions” as an axiom, since men “either think or survive - just one thing”.
Intuition, emotionality, lack of balance - all these qualities are considered feminine. Women can be accused of "natural female hysteria", even if we are talking about a very reasoned position expressed in a harsh tone. This happens despite the fact that the diagnosis of "female hysteria", which was associated with the sexual sphere and childbirth, has long been recognized as untenable. At the same time, men are not supposed to express emotions: from a childish “you are a boy - do not cry” to an adult who devalues human feelings “do not be a rag”.
The output is a pair of labels - "insensitive sheep" and "hysterical": women are attributed to the inability to take himself in hand, and men - the inability to deeply and fully feel. Both those and others are forced to suppress emotions, although the very idea that it is necessary to get rid of emotions is hopelessly outdated. As a result, men do not allow themselves to be sensitive, and women are either afraid to look overly emotional, or exploit this trait as laid down by birth.
Mind and wisdom
The mind is for men, and the wisdom is for women. Generally speaking, it is with the greater intelligence of men that many still explain the invisibility of women in history (“Look back - do you see many brilliant women — scientists, inventors? And men?”). As the life of women in art evolved over the centuries, recently told Jemima Kirk, the situation is similar to the public appearance of women scientists. To remedy the situation, you can look at the history of women as the history of the oppressed class, and you can just learn something new about women, held in science. The main thing to understand: the mind - this is not the characteristic that is issued along with a certain set of genitals.
In a gender-neutral understanding, wisdom is a life experience accumulated over the years. But with female wisdom, everything is different: she is considered a constant characteristic - a woman is either wise or not. A woman is denied the right to make independent decisions, guided by the mind, - instead, she is charged with a set of rules to be followed by a "wise woman": "take care of marriage at any cost", "forgive betrayal", "leave conflicts in the family" even if it is about violence. Especially noticeable is the call for sacrifice in religious discourses. The goal here is to preserve relationships at all costs, and wisdom itself is associated with patience and humility. Following this logic, women are forced to endlessly adjust, hide their feelings and keep quiet about what does not suit them.
Wisdom in men is most often associated with age. At the same time, they are credited with guilelessness (as opposed to the “innate feminine trickery”): this can be found even in the biblical story about the trusting Adam seduced by Eve. In an exaggerated form, we get ideas about contradictory and unviable clichés: men whom nature has endowed with both mind and innocence, and women who have to hide their mind if they want to be "wise as a woman."
Lust and chastity
Sexuality is a multifaceted and fluid topic: much of what is interpreted as permissible or impermissible, normal or abnormal, is due to cultural characteristics. In the field of sexuality, gender stereotypes are strong, and there is no less double morality than in any other field. One of the toughest clichés about sex: men want him a lot, often and regardless of circumstances - even a war, even a plague. No wonder “male power” is one of the euphemisms for strong erection. Being at the peak of sexual activity in all circumstances is a basic requirement for a man in a phallocentric culture. Advertising actively and even obsessively offers the means of impotence and for "stable erection."
A woman does not have to “think about England” in the process, but the life of her sexuality is complicated by the prejudice that women only want sex from great feelings, since they need love more. A woman whose sexual appetites are comparable to that of men, in the patriarchal consciousness continues to be exotic or even "wrong." A separate aspect of sexuality, or rather control over it, is chastity, which, for example, the “Vedic” authors ardently love. Chastity is called "beautiful quality, the ability to surrender, the ability to follow one man, to think only about one man, to concentrate all his mind on him." At the same time, the requirement of chaste at best gently bypasses men, at worst, it directly appeals to the supposedly different nature of men and women and parables about teapots. Such an attitude gave rise to the monstrous phenomenon of telegonia, the promise of which is simple - to make a woman hold on to one partner, and the one from whom she will lead children.
Stereotypes about sexuality are harmful: women are condemned for "frivolous" behavior, and men are not left with the right to choose and not to have sex. Neuroses and stresses of inconsistency with the canon instead of creativity and pleasure in the process - this is the price of such traditional views.
Talkativeness and laconicism
Saying, “it sounds like a river,” women and brutally silent (“not by word, but by deed”) men are almost fabulous archetypes. The trail of remnants that expose men to tongue-tied interlocutors, and women to be awkward talkers, is still alive today. It is unlikely that someone will undertake to assert that the stereotype has a rationale: men conduct training in public speaking, and the famous statement about women's volatility has neither reliable sources nor the status of scientifically proven.
Nevertheless, there are genres that only strengthen these clichés - for example, a whole layer of dubious humor like “Zalepi your own barrel” by Semen Slepakov and others like him. As a result, while some understand, "what is the danger of female talkativeness," others find out, "how to talk a man." In such a concept, a man finds himself in the position of an interlocutor, who at best is silent, and at worst - does not know how to express his thoughts with words: for dialogue with him, additional tactics are required, taking into account the "natural flaw". In fact, both verbosity and taciturn are just particular manifestations of the nature of people of both sexes.
Lightheadedness and responsibility
Irresponsibility and infantilism are blamed in modern society, and the cult of success equally affects people of both sexes. But the classical distribution of gender roles indicates that women are frivolous, and men are responsible. As an illustration, you can look at the dragonfly and the ant fable: the joy of life, the fun and lightness of the dragonfly are shown as the inability to think about tomorrow, which is characteristic of women; the burden of responsibility, seriousness, the ability of an ant to think ahead - the properties of men.
"The boy said - the boy did," "behind him, like behind a wall" - all this suggests that responsibility is traditionally placed on men. It comes to the point that protection and the guarantee of doing things are perceived as a basic characteristic of a man. A variety of meanings are invested in the concept of responsibility, basically it is the role of a leader in a relationship, defense, defense. The responsibility is shifted to the ability to make decisions. In relationships, this implies a vertical arrangement of power and an unequivocal delegation of all responsibility to one person - which creates a huge imbalance.
Mystery and straightness
Straightness, which implies sharpness, directness, roughness and sincerity, is considered to be traditionally masculine quality. This image reminds of Gosha from the movie “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears”: he acts quickly, bluntly, notes that the heroine is without a ring - which means that he is not married, he intrudes into personal space without delicacy, calls himself a “normal man”, does not waste time on sentiment.
On the other side of the spectrum is the “female secret”. Mysteriousness is called a tool for the conquest of men, so there are courses on pumping it. The Internet is replete with instructions on how to become mysterious for women - but you have to try hard to find something similar for men. It comes to the ridiculous (or terrible - depending on how acute the situation is): a straightforward female “no” can be interpreted by a man as “yes”, only “enigmatic”. The distorted way of thinking that women tend to let in fog causes a lot of dangerous conclusions, including the fact that it’s not necessary to pay attention to what women are saying, and their refusal does not matter.
Greed and mercantile spirit
The basis of this division is the traditional idea of who owns the money in a pair, and therefore the power in principle. Mean, generous men never take the advanced positions of success in women. Stinginess is a kind of professional incompetent diagnosis for a man: it reduces a man's quotes, like his chance of a relationship, to almost zero. On this score, there are clear instructions and attitudes for women, such as the common phrase "never meet a man who has a pocket for trifles in his wallet."
Female avarice does not become an object of jokes and popular rumor - but not because women are completely devoid of this property. The answer lies in the field of gender issues: it is believed that women simply do not have the resources to show this stinginess. Traditionally feminine quality - mercantile spirit. In fact, it goes along with stinginess and is the center of a model accusing women of “all they need is money.” In the dubious genre of video experiments about what people are ready for money, there is a separate segment dedicated to the mercantile spirit of women. Wagering of stereotypes like “roll up on a cool car” is especially popular. In this archaic rhetoric, relations are monetized: the male side must invest, and the female side must receive dividends.
Intrigue and Don Juanism
According to popular beliefs, the essence of women is “serpentine,” and the desire of women to do nasty things is limited only by the power of men. Female bitchiness is often associated with the idea of "female power", which two Russian sociologists, Anna Temkina and Elena Zdravomyslova, are also called the "power of the weak." Leading features here are seduction and intrigue. Such a woman achieves her own, she is active and knows how to set goals - but her dedication is connected with the myth that a woman first of all wants to achieve a man. Bitchiness implies statements-provocations addressed to men: "I do bad things, but I do them well" or "Stop reproaching me for not calling and writing to you. And I call, and I write, just not to you!" .
For men, another label is put on - Don Juanism. Several names have become commonplace - from Don Juan to Casanova and Lovelace. Here infidelity comes to the first place, inability to keep stable relations, to live in the bosom of the family. Don Juan is not tied in any relationship, runs from the seriousness of marriage. In other words, he is a “lonely tramp of love,” seeking and receiving emotions in each new conquest of a woman. And if a woman should seek a relationship with a man at any cost — to subdue, seduce and take him with cunning, then Don Juanism says that you need to enjoy the path of a nomad without a desire to stop. This is a coordinate system in which men and women need a fundamentally different.
Social approval and disapproval of certain qualities can be compared with the walls of the maze. As a result, men and women themselves begin to monitor their behavior and regulate it in favor of the myth of the "right" qualities, ways of behavior, without questioning the very idea of the existence of stereotypes. This trap of consciousness, like many, which are as deeply integrated, is not easy to circumvent. But to think and keep track of why and how certain qualities become gender labels is important: otherwise one of the most eerie and implausible illusions that the sex is beautiful, and sometimes strong, will continue to exist.
Photo: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 via Wikipedia Commons
