Viva La Diva: Tears, sparkles and a prize of 100 000 dollars

2013, the world was captured by queer rappers - Mickey Blanco, Le1f and Zebra Katz, new stars are born on the reality television network, while Russia prohibits the propaganda of homosexual relations by a deputy MP Madonna, and the deputies oppose adoptions of Russian children by Americans. Look At Me asked Dmitry Mironenko to tell that today frivolous shows with Nicki Minaj, Lana Del Rey and transvestites are teaching the good while the hell is going on around.

DMITRY MIRONENKO

journalist

A few years ago my friends and I chose guilty pleasures. Then it was fashionable to come to home parties and dazzle with self-irony the enemy hordes of trendsetters. In this matter, I was more perspicacious than many. Disregarding the naked photos of "schools of freaks", dancing cats and the collection of later recordings by Alla Pugacheva, immediately turned to the side

foreign evil. I gave my heart to the ruthless "homosexual propaganda" pipeline - a reality show like American Idol, Project Runway and their ugly beautiful daughter - a parody of RuPaul's Drag Race, where almost everything is the same, but transvestites are competing.

The point is not even that there, as they like to say here, "they make a quality product." It just turned out one unexpected detail: the American reality people are real. There is something to learn from them. They strive and try. And do not suffer as ours. This, for my taste, is a huge problem of Russian television. Those who should entertain are terribly tormented. They are embarrassed, nothing to say, they are mad at their fear, carry nonsense and look extremely ridiculous. A kind of suffering of others is tiresome. When I eat a deserved salad in front of a computer, I don’t want to see an artificially created hospice in front of me. Therefore, I agree with the American Disneyland that year.

I GAVE THE HEART TO THE MERCHANTABLE CONVEYOR "PROPAGANDA OF HOMOSEXUALISM"

My main favorite is “Project Runway” (the 11th season started last week). People far from fashion, it seems that this is a program about robots with plastic smiles that are sewn from the tablecloths of the dress, similar to curtains. But for me, “Project Podium” is a very realistic model of the modern world. Here Heidi Klum (a personification of a chance and success!) Flies into the frame of a blatantly happy and says to frightened, but very ambitious contestants: "Today, in 12 hours, you need to make an outfit of sweets!" Or make a dress from the inside of the car. Or, nevertheless, from fabric, but for a client who laughs, enthusiastically listens to a story about the concept, and then says: "Tell me, do you have a plan B?"

Then begins not slobbering vomit about beauty and couture, and the American horror story. Here it is a chance, here is your dream and idea. You said that you can bring it to life - so come on, blind even from candy, at least from dog shit. This is very interesting to observe: people, constrained by resources and time, create something that surprises even them! That you do not shout Xenia Sobchak: "Itself bitch!" at the next opening of the next envelope.

Here there is about time management, and about the delegation of authority, and about trust, and about working with your own self-esteem and intuition. All lately, they have loved books about business, management, and self-improvement. So, “Project Runway” is a film adaptation. Answers in faces. Inspiring stories.

In the new season, by the way, additional intrigue: all designers will be forced to work in teams; the trend of 2013 - "cooperation". Everyone does his, but in accordance with the general concept. Judging by the first series, fashionable old people have quite good chances (I would not be surprised if those who look the craziest will prove to be the most efficient). It is a pity that the tanned telepup Michael Kors, who with a brilliant half smile, plunged everyone into the cauldron of the terrible truth, including the holy in his stupidity Jessica Simpson, left the jury. Zak Posen was put in his place, about which only one thing is clear so far: the eyebrows on the face of the young master dance so cracily that it doesn't matter what their owner says. In general, I highly recommend it.

If the contestant bleats like a sheep, a real sheep will be mounted to it

oh, enough about fashion! The main ratings are still torn by people who speak the language of music. Here the telegourman has two ways - either dancing (Dancing With The Stars, So You Think You Can Dance), or songs (American Idol, X-factor, The Voice). I chose the songs. For some reason, it scares me when people dance too well.

At the beginning of this year, good old American Idol is responsible for the songs. Went already the 12th season. The jury changed again. This time, a white and blissful country moss named Keith Urban (if it’s Nicole Kidman’s husband), a bombshell and honored diva Mariah Carey and Niki Minaj joined the talking dog, Jackie Jackson, just Niki Minaj. The intrigue is based on the interaction of two ladies. Minaj gives all contestants funny nicknames and changes the hairstyle color for each casting, Mariah Carey breathes heavily in cramped dresses, curses with Niki, but says business. "Do not be sad (in your mind: a little toothless Asian boy) that you didn’t hit a single note. You can be a DJ, this is also related to music, just don't have to sing!"

It is also impressive ironic, honest direction. If a contestant bleats like a sheep, a real sheep will be mounted to it, and it will be seasoned with a howl of sirens, under which African-American Randy Jackson, as if turned white with fear, will say: "It seems that the police have come for you ..."

ME WHY SCARES WHEN PEOPLE TOO WELL DANCE

But the main thing is the full compliance with the new trend of all the talent search shows. I call it "social vocal". So I see how big producers in white cabinets yell at the editors: "We no longer need votes, we need STORIES!" These notorious "stories" about overcoming misfortunes turned into a real sitcom. Talents are dragged to the casting, who will find what: a photo of a recently deceased 98-year-old grandfather or a stack of letters from an auntie who has become ill with cancer. Others bring distant relatives in wheelchairs or are discharged from hospital to death by a frightened five-year-old cousin, who is placed in the center of the studio as proof of unhappiness (or a protective totem). And they sing something heartbreakingly lyrical, glancing out of the corner of my eye at Miss Mariah Carey's tear-drenched cheeks. Cynicism is infinite, but not without fiction and ingenuity.

However, about honesty: this season has already happened a revolutionary event for the competition - the next round did not miss a guy without a leg. They cried, admired, but did not let go. Sang weakly. What is not a suspense? But they missed (and said that they would go far) a rigidly stuttering boy from an emigrant family. He can hardly speak, but stuttering disappears when he sings. What is not a miracle for a hearty dinner? (Still, American Idol is the ideal company for a nightly meal.)

By the way, this is the only show that, even with some regularity, shows the world of good pop stars. The first winner, Kelly Clarkson, is Frank Ocean's neighbor in the main Grammy nomination, while Jennifer Hudson, who was expelled from the third season, has already managed to get an Oscar and loudly sing Whitney Houston on the main channels. There is in the catalog and Carrie Underwood, and Adam Lambert, and the singer with the coolest name for the genre R & B - Fantasy. So far, neither the critics-favorite of The Voice, nor the American X-factor can boast anything like this.

Artificiality has become the norm the main stars of 2012 are Barbie Lana Del Rey and Bratz Niki Minaj

now - dessert. This week, the 5th season of RuPaul's Drag Race, the world's funniest reality show, started! 14 selected transvestites are fighting for the title of the main diva of America. Naturally, after RuPol. In a world where dolls are new divas (Lana Del Rey - Barbie, Nicki Minaj - Bratz), men who change into dolls are real contemporary artists (even if they themselves do not know about it).

And they have real stories. I still remember an episode from the 4th season, in which a huge 40-year-old negro with incomplete teeth set told that life was strict for him, he made a mistake and rewind time in prison, and now he turns off the light, again included - Latris Mazafakka Piano - sultry donut, covered with shiny fabric, resembling a burning trash can from afar. Almodovar in the kingdom of Mickey Mouse.

As planned, RuPaul's Drag Race is a parody of both American Idol and Project Runway. Participants in each series must pass a stupid test such as a photo shoot under water, and then sew an outfit for themselves and appear before the jury in a super image. The two weakest compete in singing to the sound track (lip sync). In fact, it turns out the original work - when everyone knows that you sing under plywood, you need to do something special, again, to overcome yourself. (In America, by the way, travesty artists live solely on tips that they get from the public - those who work poorly do not eat.) Tears mixed with blood, twine of despair, solemn tearing of wigs, poses, battles, smiles ...

THIS IS ALMODOVAR IN THE KINGDOM OF MICKY-MAUSS

This whole Barbie circus rumbles and laughs for a reason. While everyone is having fun, ordinary viewers record simple truths on the subcortex: people need to be accepted, even if they don’t understand, everyone can change into the one they want, and they can love anyone they want. Here, for example, is one of the contests: RuPol leads ten experimental subjects - classic rednecks (certainly family men and large fathers) and offers transvestites to turn them into women for a while. Work in pairs, isolated space and control of cameras does not leave a choice - for 40 minutes of airtime, truckers, cleaners and security guards who are not familiar with the words cuticle or Swarovski become a minority. The template breaks. Circling false eyelashes and the smell of epilation cream add up to something more - yes, you need not to fall off the heels in front of millions, but in fact - you cannot let your partner down, and even better - you need to win (and it’s not important that you both move to pink wigs and outfits from the favorite clips of the daughter).

If you do not love yourself, how can you love somebody else?

The brilliant RuPol turns all this flamboyant carousel of sparkles, feathers and a powdered American dream into a true locomotive of tolerance. In addition to RuPaul's Drag Race, there is also RuPaul's Drag U, where the stars of previous seasons help biological life to be tricky for women to become more feminine (by finding in themselves an internal transvestite!). So while everyone is arguing about the weak, stilted serial "The New Norm", RuPol has been entertaining for some years, entertaining, teaching intolerant.

Each RuPaul show ends with the phrase "If you don’t love yourself, how can you love someone else?" and asks the participating parties to respond in chorus: "Amen." Experience, albeit not religious, but completely metaphysical. You look at all this, and already the language does not turn to call such a pleasure - guilty. Dude, they will teach you how to live! This is still a bad thing.