Puritan America and Free France: Girls on Equality in Different Countries
After the French published a letterin Le Monde, which defends the right of harassment, many wondered why this happened in France. People who took the side of the creators of the petition, rested on the national perception of sexuality and a special attitude to the women's agenda, in which the position of the victim seems to be humiliating. Often France was opposed by the United States, calling the Americans hypocritical.
We decided to find out how this is true, and talked with immigrants living in America and Europe. We understand whether there is a special way of feminism in different countries, how personal boundaries are perceived there, and why history teaches women to stand on their own.
I live in Paris for the fourth year. None of my local acquaintances calls into question simple things like that women and men are equal, gender should not determine the size of the salary and that a woman’s place is not at the stove if she herself does not want it. I was not in Moscow for two years, and when I arrived, we decided to go to the cinema with my family. Two of the three advertisements before the film were obviously sexist, but no one in the hall noticed this or gave it to the public. I think that in France this would not have passed.
But, of course, you don’t need to fantasize and invent a country of victorious feminism - in Paris, on the streets or in the metro, they can rather brazenly pester, grab hands or shout after something unpleasant. Now the law on punishment for street harassment is being discussed - I cannot imagine how they are going to put it into practice. Influential women in big politics are still less than men, salary equality, I suspect, is also not ubiquitous and further down the list. However, we had "Strauss-Kan-gate" (The former IMF Managing Director Dominique Strauss-Kahn accused the maid of rape, and then the official was suspected of being pimped. - Ed.)when it was still unfashionable.
It is terribly sad that everyone in Russian-language Facebook shared a letter from Deneuve, Millet, Levy and others with the posts “France gave a worthy response to Puritan America” - as if these hundred women are the whole of French society. The authors of the column put everything in one pile: feminism turned out to be hatred for men, and the right to persistently pester became sacred and untouchable. Most commentators in social networks do not know anything, firstly, about the French feminist movement, and secondly, about feminism in general. The fact that Catherine Deneuve was among the signatories unexpectedly gave legitimacy to the whole demarche - at least in the eyes of Russian commentators. Few of them noticed the response of well-known French feminists, who, on points, painted the absurdity of this manifesto in 2018.
"This column is reminiscent of something to a colleague, causing embarrassment, or a tedious uncle who does not understand what is happening," wrote activist Carolyn de Aas. And it's better not to say. It should be understood that the conversation about feminism in Paris takes place not only at the level of any blog on Facebook, but at the level of city initiatives, special programs, media (for example, feminist Laurent Bastide makes a wonderful podcast "La Poudre", where famous French women tell about their experiences, sexuality, the place of women in society). Why, then, did all respected women sign a manifesto on the benefits of harassment?
They say, because they are from another era - and this is probably true. I have a theory about this. Many of the signatories to the letter at Le Monde probably survived in 1968 (Catherine Millet was twenty in 1968, Deneuve was twenty-five) or grew in the culture established on its basis. 1968 is the time of the struggle for sexual freedom, the barricades of love, the moment when sex bursts into the public sphere, when it’s "forbidden to forbid", and for them this is the ultimatum of the struggle against puritanism, against taboos.
Maybe they still have not left the barricades of 1968? Everything that happened after - including feminism, with women who are now fighting not only for free sex, but also for not being perceived only as sexual objects, for consent and personal boundaries - passed them by. Therefore, for today's feminists - I am proud to count them - this letter is pure anachronism. And by the way, as Laurent Bastide aptly remarked, it is these women who are the first to start shouting about sexism, if men from poor areas or Muslims suddenly stick to them, and when a man of their circle and social position without demand puts his hand on his knee under the table, the right to molesting automatically turns on. Although rights, like duties, theoretically everyone should have the same.
I have been living in Germany for three and a half years: first I studied in a magistracy in Hamburg, then I found a job in Berlin. Both cities are northern and traditionally vote for social democrats or greens. To speak out against feminism in my environment is simply not accepted - it would have caused at least slanting views. I think the situation is a little different in the south.
Here I went on dates a lot and noticed that people really care about their own and others' borders. For three years, I almost did not encounter obsessive courtship, and when it did, it was rather embarrassing. I often sat alone in a bar near the house, and no one approached me. There is still a noticeable boundary between personal and public. I think this is not necessarily good: the Germans with great difficulty discussing personal and family issues, even when it would be worth it. For example, no one talks about wages - as a result, there are constantly researches that say that in Germany there is no gender equality in the workplace. But money is simply not accepted to be discussed, so no one will know about this injustice!
Colleagues at work (we have an informal atmosphere) do not comment on my appearance even in a positive way - the most compliments are made to clothes, and then mostly women. My friend, on the contrary, recently completed an internship in a company where they are not allowed into the office without a tie. They discussed the harassment scandal at work and quickly decided that they had never had such a thing - although this was a big corporation, so he didn’t really believe it. I think that German women hardly talk about such things at all: a friend said that he could not imagine someone from his female colleagues talking about the harassment out loud. Although many of them participated in #MeToo in social networks.
I can not even imagine in a strict corporate environment a man who would be outraged by the behavior of feminists. In Germany, closely monitor the external manifestations of equality. For example, in December, I was urgently invited by a guest to a program on Deutsche Welle channel, where they discussed the Olympics - they needed a journalist who understands Russia, and certainly a woman. They have already picked up two of the three speakers - they were men, the third they could not afford.
In the last month in Germany there were many publications about the women's agenda, and when the letter of French women came out, there was a clear separation between conservatives and liberals. In one of the local conservative and at the same time quite adequate newspapers, a column appeared that the French did everything right and in general in advanced countries feminists completely zazhralis. If you look at the comments on the Internet, there is a lot of unpleasantness. There were a lot of right-wing speakers, abusive memes about #MeToo.
Germany is a country that is slowly changing its conservative legislation. For example, the law on equal wages came out only at the beginning of last year - personally, it seemed to me rather toothless. Punishments for harassment were imposed only in 2016 after the events in Cologne. For a long time, rape was considered as such by law only if the woman resisted. Only a couple of years ago, pharmacies were allowed to sell emergency contraception without a prescription.
Recently, the prolifera have sued a provincial gynecologist for writing about a service such as abortion on her website. Just a few days ago I read a story about a girl who was suing a guy who removed a condom during sex without her consent. The court did not help: the victim began to be bothered with questions about how much she drank, how she agreed to have sex, and if she did not break her life - the offender was a successful architect. So all the discourse we know is completely alive. When Cologne and Russian girl Liza were, all discussions revolved around the national issue and migration, although it would seem that it was a woman’s body.
Nevertheless, the country helps victims of domestic violence, including men - there were several scandals of sexual violence in the Catholic Church - and they try to respond to the demands of society. Although the same law on harassment was adopted only six months after the scandal in Cologne: the system was specially designed so that the laws could not just be changed - this is the post-war legacy of the Federal Republic of Germany.
In Spain, feminism is not a marginal ideology. Before the dictator Francisco Franco’s departure in the 1970s, women were not at all healthy. The right dictatorship forbade abortion, divorce, and even bank accounts for women. All these freedoms appeared only after the arrival of a democratic regime, and women in Spain decided that they would not return. There are a lot of women here who have seen the real patriarchy, and these stories are alive, and the position about their rights is quite tough.
The Spanish situation is absolutely opposite to the Russian one, where for many years women have enjoyed all the achievements of equality, such as the right to work and education, and at the same time they say that they are anti-feminists, they want a “little dress and not decide anything”. There are no such illusions here - people just recently ended the right dictatorship. And now Spain is the fourth country in the EU in terms of the number of women in parliament, the mayors of the two main cities in the country of Madrid and Barcelona are women. In Spain, the word "feminism" is well known and more difficult to find a woman who does not define herself through this movement. I taught English to students and was faced with the fact that the boys wrote meaningful essays about feminism when I asked them to speculate on a free, important topic for them.
As a migrant, I often visit the police because of documents, and in these centers there are posters in several languages (including French, Arabic and Chinese) with hotline numbers for victims of domestic violence, there are even free migrant lawyers. Posters are posted all over Barcelona on the women's agenda, programs against gender-based violence are supported by the mayor’s office.
Of course, everything is not so simple. For example, right-wing party is now in power in Spain. True, I live in Catalonia - the last stronghold of the Republicans in the fight against Franco, wanted to be separated, too, not least because of the victories of the right. Here, many students are feminists and socialists; however, they also say that you can come to any village and find portraits of Franco on the walls. The right party six years ago tried to ban abortions, but several million women and men went on the marches of protests - the law had to be curtailed.
True, in show business things are different. Last year, Netflix released the first Spanish TV series "Telephone Operators" - about women who lived in the early twentieth century in Madrid. He is very feminist - he speaks of domestic violence, dependence on men due to lack of rights, and so on. But when the actresses were asked about their attitude to the movement, they began to deny themselves, and one of the actors said that modern feminism completely turned everything upside down and does not talk about the problems of men. Since then, I hate to watch it.
There is another series - the Ministry of Time, where the main character is the first Spanish student. The actress who plays her is Aura Garrido, speaks openly about her feminist views. As far as I understand, she is almost the only one in Spain. In general, in show business everything works a little differently, and even the actresses of the series on women's rights are asked not to call them feminists. Our actresses also talked some nonsense in an interview with Medusa. Perhaps these are the costs of a profession, and women who began in an era when their value was determined by their appearance cannot be reconstructed. In Hollywood, there is progress, but in other countries - not really. Even in England, the creators of the new “Doctor Who” do not talk about feminism, but explain the choice of a woman for the main role by the fact that we live in a normal world and she’s just a cool actress - they pretend they don’t notice her gender.
When they discussed harassment in Catalonia, there were different opinions. There are people who consider this unacceptable, someone wonders why women didn’t say right away - but there is, of course, no consensus that women are fools and can be harassed like in Russia.
Since September 2016, I live in the United States, in the suburbs of Boston. I study here at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, a significant part of my master's program is occupied by courses related to the gender agenda during conflicts and humanitarian disasters, financial inclusion and so on. Before coming to the US, I had my own set of stereotypes about Americans: like many in Russia, I thought that this is a country of victorious feminism. In fact, there is no single mass of Americans. I soon became convinced that in Boston as a whole and in our school in particular, many are in a kind of bubble: here we have most of the courses in one way or another include gender aspects, and even on the negotiation course we were explained the cognitive distortions arising from the influence of gender stereotypes. At the same time, there are students at my school who do not communicate with their parents, because they hold tough patriarchal positions. These are mainly people living in small towns, and even on farms.
Since I have not yet had the opportunity to visit the conservative part of America, I can only talk about the situation in Boston and in New York among women with education. In the United States, unlike in Europe, gender issues are always intertwined with questions of race, social class, sexual orientation, and so on; usually these issues are discussed together. Women who think about gender inequality tend to think and talk a lot about various other forms of discrimination.
The level of reflection in questions of gender is much higher than in Russia - where, unfortunately, even in an academic environment, one can encounter flagrant ignorance and internal misogyny. In our school, for example, there is a "quiet count": a group of female students counts the number of women among the invited speakers and then notifies the student clubs responsible for conducting events about the results of the counting so that they see the distortions. The dean (the former commander-in-chief of NATO) always asks to send him results.
Women here are much more relaxed than is commonly thought in Russia, they treat everyday politeness - no one will sue for holding the door or giving them coffee, but women here are proactive and don’t mind someone to hold the door or pay Cafe. Women are more aware of their own problems, and their voices are heard louder in the media, in school ezines, in forums and conferences, where questions of fair wages, the elimination of the "glass ceiling" and so on are raised from time to time. One of my favorite teachers was suing her former employer, Harvard University, because of the refusal of promotion, which, in her opinion, was caused by her active work in protecting victims of sexual violence on campus. Unfortunately, rape also occurs within the walls of Ivy League hostels.
Many women complain that American men are poisoned by pornography, do not know the basics of female physiology, or do not know what “active informed consent” is when it comes to sex. There is no affordable sex education for teenagers, the Puritan traditions are still very strong, and all this creates serious problems and distortions in society. Maternity leave, here, by the way, either. At the same time, there is less household helplessness among men, almost everyone knows how to cook and use a washing machine, no one expects consumer service from women anymore.
On people with opposing views, I stumble upon mostly on the Internet. For example, this transgender blogger actively criticizes liberals and feminists, there are women's movements to ban abortions, there are women who are ready to wear T-shirts with the words "Trump Can Grab My Pussy". In this sense, the divide is not in age, but rather in social groups. Once I asked my friend to show how a tinder looks when viewed from his male heterosexual account, and found that most girls who look glamorous, hypersexual, and generally as if they put a lot of effort into maintaining appearance, tend to learn in mediocre universities (if they study at all), while students at Harvard and MIT often upload photos from outdoor activities and sports, without cosmetics or with a minimum of makeup.
Cреди образованных женщин многие не хотят выходить замуж или вступать в серьёзные моногамные отношения: они либо не видят для себя пользы от такого формата отношений, либо скептично относятся к отношениям с мужчинами в целом. Поскольку в либеральных кругах здесь уже считается неприличным быть открытым шовинистом, требуется время, чтобы понять, что у мужчины на уме.
I don’t remember that the Weinstein case was somehow particularly discussed among my American girlfriends - the whole situation was so blatant that, it seems, there was a quiet consensus on this issue. Many, however, later shared their stories as part of the #MeToo flash mob.
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