At home: 8 safe BDSM practices
Text: Tatyana Nikonova, author of Sam Jones's Diary sex blog
Bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism, combined into one abbreviation, are considered ambiguous sexual practices - not so much because of the reputation of cruel and dangerous hobbies, but because of ethical issues embedded in the very idea of domination and subordination. For our part, we believe in the idea of deliberate choice, especially when it comes to experiments with the sensitivity of the body, not the psyche - especially since the main rules in BDSM are safety, rationality and voluntariness.
However, these rules do not guarantee security in bad or inexperienced hands. Do not try to repeat at home peeped in a thematic porn or subtracted in public, full of inflamed fantasies of pain and trials, causing keen pleasure. Better use a practical guide to sexual activities that are perfectly safe for physical and psychological health, will not scare almost anyone and discover something new.
Hand binding
The easiest way to increase feelings is to limit access to some of them. The rest immediately perceived much sharper. It is enough to tie your partner's hands behind your head so that he cannot touch you - and everything that you do next will seem enchanting. The main mistakes when linking: wrong choice of improvised means and too much tightening up to loss of sensitivity in the hands, which may not go for weeks. Leave a sufficient gap under the improvised fetters - at least the thickness of one finger; never leave a connected partner alone in a room; Keep the scissors in a prominent place, so that if something happens, quickly release them. If you feel sorry for ties and ribbons, buy a special vinyl tape, it is glued only to itself and never to the body.
Contraindicated: insulating tape (with a root and very painfully pulling hairs out of the skin), handcuffs (leaving traces, and the keys are lost somewhere all the time), ropes made of synthetic materials (they burn the skin), famous cable ties (it is easy to clamp the vessels).
Foot fetish
Lasky feet are often associated with humiliation, although it is exciting and very erotic practice that both men and women like, because the skin on the legs is very tender, almost always covered and rarely stimulated. So for many, the sensitivity of the legs is a surprise. Foot-fetish is more often used in the framework of foreplay, but nothing prevents to combine, and with a certain perseverance of his one is enough to bring a woman to orgasm. What do with the feet? Lick, kiss, suck fingers, and in rough places bite and scratch. Do I need to somehow get ready? It is enough to wash the feet, they are less likely to fall into suspicious places than the hands. Where to begin? With a foot massage, then add foot-fetish elements and watch the partner’s reaction.
Contraindicated: act after applying the cream for the legs (not intended to be eaten), actively thrust the leg into the mouth (you can hurt the partner and the mouth), force the partner to lie down on the floor to lick your feet (fraught with serious internal conflicts).
Temperature games
The change of temperature perfectly diversifies the sensations, especially if the partner's eyes are blindfolded and he does not know what awaits him. It is more efficient and safer to emphasize the temperature difference, rather than looking for something very hot or too cold. For example, take a device with cold water inside a warm bathroom or massage with a hot device after blowing cold air. The most popular and at the same time budgetary means are still ice cubes. If you use them on the mucous membranes, first wash with warm water, otherwise you risk to repeat the children's trick "lick swings in winter".
Contraindicated: hot wax / paraffin (candles with special composition are required for the process, all the rest will lead to a burn), pour hot or cold water on the body (it is easy to make a mess of it with temperature), metal objects (different alloys are heated and cooled differently).
Spunking
Or slaps. Voiced to palm on someone else's ass there are many lovers, only it hurts more than exciting. How to slap to partner wound up? There are three main rules. First: warm up first. The first flip flops should be soft and almost stroking, with a flat palm, over a large area. Strengthen shocks and concentrate on the same places only when the skin turns red. Second: keep the rhythm. Rhythmic sounds and influences are driven into a light trance (remember, under what you usually dance), this is a decent part of the fun. Third: when it is all over, spread the long-suffering buttocks with a panthenol product so that the skin recovers faster in case of microtraumas.
Contraindicated: use any objects for spanking (if you don’t know the theory, it will hurt, not sexually), punish for real actions (once you find yourself in hierarchical despotic relations), slap, without removing jewelry from hands (scratched).
Tickling
Some cause acute excitement, others have a nervous laugh, and the third have both, and more. How to tickle? Fingertips, brushes and brushes made from natural fibers. There are even special brushes for tickling, usually they are made of feathers - and some even manage to masturbate with feathers. Where to tickle? Where you like partner. The study of the body begins with the most obvious places: the feet, the inner surface of the forearm, the neck and the back of the head. But any zones can be sensitive, try to use places that are rarely touched in everyday life, such as the front surface of the thighs and ankles. Make sure you agree on a stop word - it’s not always clear, your victim really wants to stop, or his rushing is so great. And here, say, the cry "Drosophila!" - quite an unequivocal sign.
Contraindicated: sharp objects for tickling (partner can twitch and hurt), refuse the stop word (no one is telepathic), tickling during sex, if the partner’s reaction is unknown (all excitement can be lost).
Role-playing games
Cute nurse in the back room or a doctor who offered to completely undress because it is a matter of life and death? You choose. Role-playing games allow you to fool around, in order to come up with it, but the game of a doctor from childhood is almost always erotically colored. Medical examinations in BDSM is a reason to make the lower one feel helpless, shame (remember the gynecologist's chair) and fear (the dentist's chair!). For us, in the adapted version, this is an opportunity to walk once more on the body of a partner or to substitute our own to it. Strategic points in traditional sex do not leave the flight for the imagination, but you can almost endlessly engage the body. Slapping, stroking, questions about the state of health and requests to bend down or reach out will wake up the fantasy and give ideas on what to do next.
Contraindicated: real medical instruments and injections (for the stethoscope we will make an exception), sharpness or rudeness (wake up unpleasant memories of visits to the children's clinic), cold medical gloves (if it is not about deep research).
Clothespins
Clothespins worn on the body make it a little painful, and then it depends on individual sensitivity. One is pleased to add this mild pain to sexual experiences, the other bars from the powerful release of endorphins after removing the clothespins (naturally "buy a goat, sell a goat"). Many take the usual laundry - plastic or wood - but make sure that the edges are smooth and without sharp teeth, and the springs in the center are firmly fixed. This is especially important for those who remove the clothespins from the body with a sharp movement (it increases the pleasure), so you can buy specialized ones - they have round, safe edges. Clothespins put on themselves, partner, you can use yourself during masturbation (and understand whether you need it at all), two or four to start enough. The most sensitive places for clothes pegs in women are the nipples and labia, but options are possible. If you are wearing on the labia, forget about the sharp pull-off and make sure that only your clothespins and no one else uses them and will not cause you any infection.
Contraindicated: use on mucous membranes (a little more theory is required), sharply remove pegs from the nipples with piercing (easy to injure), put on the throat, wrists and other places with large vessels located close to the skin.
Electric stove
Games with electricity only sound harsh, but remember your feelings from darsonval skin treatment - for electrosex devices the current strength is similar. Moreover, in principle, they are not able to shake properly, so do not climb inside with a soldering iron and just enjoy the process. For elektroseksa there are many legally distributed devices: these are dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, just electrodes that attach to the skin, and other devices that send weak electrical discharges to the right places. Muscles contract, orgasm gets closer. If the electricity gets bored, most toys just turn off and use as usual. Not to worry, first try the device on the crook of the elbow. Increase the intensity of the discharges gradually, starting with the weakest, until you find the most suitable option, and observe gradualness each time - the sensitivity is different on different days of the cycle.
Contraindicated: any self-made devices (you shouldn’t even talk about danger), use on people with a pacemaker or cardiovascular diseases (it is strictly forbidden), refusal to read the instructions for the device (RTFM!).