How to cope with unreasonable anxiety?
ALL WE HAVE GROWN THE MASS OF QUESTIONS TO THEMSELVES AND THE WORLDwith which there seems to be no time or need to go to a psychologist. But convincing answers are not born when you talk to yourself, or to your friends, or to your parents. We started a new regular section where professional psychotherapist Olga Miloradova will answer pressing questions. By the way, if you have them, send to [email protected].
How to cope with unreasonable anxiety?
Every person at a certain point has a feeling of unreasonable anxiety. It seems all is well and no one died, and gnaws at the heart of sadness, work and personal life interferes with nervousness. This anxiety impedes a happy life and slows down projects; sometimes it may cause problems with sleep. How to cope with it and where does it come from?
OLGA MILORADOVA psychotherapist
Anxiety is a nasty feeling associated with uncertainty and uncertainty. This is all clear with fear: here it is right in front of us - the fear of heights or insects, for example. And anxiety, why did it come from? It seems that nowhere and just like that. However, nothing just happens, and in order to get rid of something you have to get to the bottom of it. Anxiety is obliged to be present in some minimum quantity, since, on the one hand, it is impossible to foresee everything, but it is nevertheless that something to induce to action. Thus, one of the options for the formation of anxiety is passivity. An alarm at the same time signals an incomplete situation. In this case, the way out is as simple as possible: think about it, maybe you have put something off for later? Or do you not want to take any decision - about a job change, parting with a partner, moving? But the longer you postpone a certain action, the more exhausted and anxious you will have to complete it.
There is also neurotic anxiety. It is most often formed due to such a contradiction: the level of self-claims is extremely high, but at the same time the self-esteem is lower than the plinth. All this is accompanied by eternal self-flagellation and self-deprecation, well, yes, c anxiety cannot cope again, of course. There is only one way out - to lower the bar. Not necessarily gritting his teeth to strive for the ideal, seen on the pages of some gloss or imposed by mom ("Here is your girlfriend Masha already there, and you ..."). At first it is, of course, pretty bad for self-esteem, that you cannot, like Masha. But in the future, you can do something in your own way, and gradual successes will begin to build up self-esteem and equalize it with a new bar.
Another reason for generalized anxiety can be blocking those desires and feelings that we are not ready to accept consciously. Maybe you are deeply in love with a married man, and this is absolutely contrary to your morality. Maybe you are not attracted to men, but you are not ready to admit it. Maybe you hate the neighbors' baby, but you have been taught that you must love all the children. It is always difficult to delve into yourself, but the good old reception with mirroring can help. Do you dislike child fries, are skeptical of rainbow flags, or despise those who "take" men from the family? Now try to try your hate or contempt on yourself. Congratulations - you are the one who is not so nice to you. Now it remains to make a choice: to recognize something new and unpleasant in oneself, or to continue life in chronic anxiety.
I can not fail to mention the alarm for which one can thank Sartre.
By the way, the acceptance of everything new is not less alarming in many ways, but if you do not start moving, then there will be no permission. I can not fail to mention the alarm for which one can thank Sartre. Naturally, he did not create it, but knowledge of it often does not save much. The very same anxiety that arises from the awareness of one’s real loneliness in the world and one’s own powerlessness both before aging and death. It is not for nothing that there are so many religions in the world, although in fact, shifting responsibility onto a savior is not the way out. Output in the awareness and acceptance of this fact. Unfortunately, this is a purely individual internal confrontation of each of us.
And the last and probably the most difficult option is anxiety as a property of the individual. Most often, the formation of an anxious personality requires a beneficial soil in the form of heightened sensitivity. The rest depends on the parents and the environment: if a sensitive child is overly protective, restricted and controlled, there is every chance to recommend the outside world as extremely dangerous, and if the child is reproached all the time, then a well-formed sense of guilt will also cause anxiety to do something wrong. Finally, the child will finish off the excessive demands that he is not able to fulfill completely. Under their influence an alarming character is formed. It’s almost pointless to fight alone with such anxiety: short-term techniques (breathing and others) will bring the same short-term success, so it remains either to accept and live with it, or (which, in my opinion, is preferable) to undergo psychotherapy.