Yes We Can: How to set goals and not to throw them halfway
alexander savina
American tradition of New Year promises - eat right, quit smoking, go jogging every day, and so on - gradually became popular in Russia. And just as in the United States, many admit to themselves their defeat by February. We have already written why making plans for the year is a good idea, and although it is possible to decide on changes on any day of the year, January is a convenient starting point. We talk about several principles that will help not only to set a goal for this year, but also to fulfill it.
Choose a clear target
Correctly formulating a goal is no less important than pursuing it, and there are several techniques that can make life a lot easier. Do not try to do everything at once. Often, at the beginning of the year, we make a promise to change our lives for the better and take on several serious things at once - we try to read more, get enough sleep, meet friends more often and work more productively. Due to the fact that we pursue several goals, we do not have enough strength for everything, and our enthusiasm quickly dies away. Instead of a bunch of tasks, you should focus on one that is most important for you right now.
Even dwelling on one thing, we often fail because we choose too abstract goals. Instead of promising yourself to be more active, you should formulate it more specifically - for example, try to go every afternoon for a 10-minute walk. It will be easier to work on a clear task - besides its result is more noticeable.
The goal should also be realistic - it will help to better predict the possible obstacles to it. Think about how change will fit into your lifestyle. For example, if your goal is to read more, when exactly will you do it? An hour after waking up on weekends or fifteen minutes daily on the way home from work? Think about what might interfere with your plans - don't you get too tired after the working day to focus on the text?
Changes need not be radical: journalist Akshat Rati, for example, every year tries to improve what he already does. In 2014, he promised himself to read better - he worked on speed, carefully approached the selection of books and studied criticism. You can follow his example and use the beginning of the year to introduce a new good habit into your life.
Look for the cause
Often, trying to change your life, we pay attention not to the problem itself, but to its consequence. One of the frequent New Year commitments is to spend less time on social networks. But not everyone who gives it to themselves thinks what makes them spend more time online - the feeling of being alone, boredom, the desire to get as much new information as possible or something else? It is difficult to change your behavior without understanding its causes - so, setting a new goal, try to analyze your emotions and how they influence your habits, this will certainly help you better understand yourself and cope with the situation.
Think comfort
Get a good habit is easier if you create a comfortable environment. For example, if you want to stop buying chocolates after dinner at the vending machine, try bringing snacks from home. If you want to drink more water, put a glass or a bottle on your desk - it will be easier to remember a good habit.
If in order to perform a “harmful” action, you have to put more effort, you will be able to reorganize faster - say, if you remove cookies or chips on the far shelf in the kitchen, and put nuts on hand, perhaps you will unwittingly choose a more useful snack . This technique helped the writer Sean Eikor to learn to play the guitar: instead of putting the guitar in the closet, he put it on a stand in the middle of the room - so that it would not be necessary to spend time trying to get it. This also works with other habits: for example, if you collect the form in advance, it will be easier to walk to the gym.
Proceed step by step
It is impossible to cope with a big task quickly - especially when it comes to serious changes in lifestyle. We'll have to move gradually and take a few steps - so that at the beginning of the journey it is worthwhile to estimate a rough plan of action. This technique helps to cope with one of the common causes of procrastination: abstract tasks usually seem immense and frightening, and if you break them into concrete and precise actions, it will be easier to cope.
For example, you want to achieve a raise. “Determine what is required of you to get this position,” says Sherond Glover, CEO of a business consulting and training Business Practitioner company. “Perhaps you lack leadership and public speaking skills: then your first task is to work on them. You may have to join one of the Toastmasters educational groups, take a management course or work with a coach. Determine what is going to happen in three, six and nine months. " Having coped with smaller tasks, you will feel satisfaction - and you will notice that you are moving forward.
Understand what motivates you
Alas, there is no one single trick that will help everyone without exception to stick to their goal - each of us needs an individual approach. Gretchen Rubin, author of several books and a podcast about self-development, identifies four types of habit formation depending on how we respond to other people's expectations (for example, working deadlines) and our own expectations (for example, promises we make to ourselves).
People of the first type - "adherents" - actively respond to their own and to other people's expectations - as a rule, it is relatively easy for them to change habits. People of the second type - “doubters” - agree only with those attitudes which, in their opinion, are justified: they need a clear reason and a convincing explanation of why they need this or that change. People of the third type - "supporters of obligations" - try to meet the expectations of other people, but often cannot meet their own expectations: in order to acquire a new habit, they need to have responsibility to other people. Finally, people of the fourth type - “rebels” - oppose both their own and others' expectations: they need freedom of choice.
In order to acquire a new habit, some of us need to discuss it with a friend, someone to make sure that it really benefits, and for some it is enough to simply outline a plan of action. It is not necessary to adhere to this classification - but it is helpful for everyone to think about what motivates you, specifically. It can be anything, even a small device: for example, comedian Jerry Seinfeld marked with a cross on the calendar every day when he managed to write - after all, he was motivated by a continuous series of crosses that he did not want to break.
Think about the future
None of us is immune from errors and breakdowns. When you set yourself a big goal, analyze where you can break, and think about how you will behave in this or that case. For example, how will you stick to a healthy eating plan if you are invited to a pizza party? What will you do if the strength for the training that you were going to do after work does not remain?
The more such situations you imagine, the better. This applies not only to "pitfalls" - think about the schemes and scenarios that will help you stick to the plan: for example, in order not to miss your home workout, you can, as soon as you come home, change into sportswear, but to get rid of impulsive spending - keep a credit card is not in your wallet, but separately, so that you have to get it longer, and so on.
Do not hurry
“All at once” is a common, but not the best principle when it comes to goals. Often, those who decide to go in for sports more often face the consequences: after a week of daily training, the beginner doesn’t want to continue at all. Move at your own pace: you don’t have to come up with a goal for the whole year or a month at once - you can set a task for a week and then move on to the next week. For example, in the first week, go to two workouts, the next week - another two, and so gradually be drawn into the regime. Change does not have to be dramatic — especially when you want to change established habits.
Talk to others
One of the most common tips on how to achieve your goals: to discuss the goal with relatives. You can negotiate with a friend who will inquire about your successes once a week, or you can use social networks to tell about your achievements or, for example, lay out running routes. Many of us find it harder to break a promise made to others, not to ourselves, but be careful here: guilt is not the best motivator, and it’s better that you don’t move it. In addition, it is important not to shift the responsibility for your own actions and decisions to others - this is your life, and you need changes.
Do not reproach yourself if nothing happens
If you have broken, this is not a reason to completely abandon the promise you have been given. This is a reason to understand what is the cause of failure and what prevents you from moving on. Perhaps in the process you will realize that the goal you set for yourself is not at all what you need, or that you want to move towards it in another way. In order to do this, you need not only (and not so much) willpower - it is also important to develop new skills, as well as listen carefully to your own feelings and desires.