How I quit everything and moved to live in Istanbul
Our heroines regularly talk about your travels, whether it is hiking in Kamchatka with climbing a volcano, a trip around California with two children, or volunteering in Italy for a whole summer. Anyway, each such story confirms that the main thing is to decide, and the borders are only in our heads. Now we are launching a new series, where girls will talk about more radical changes: how to move to live in another city or country, why to do it and how to solve the simplest everyday problems, without which it will not go too.
Why I decided to leave
I remember that day, May 25th. I had breakfast with my girlfriend and somewhere between the sausage sandwich and Activia yogurt, I realized that it was time to move to Istanbul. This plan has matured in my head for a long time, but only in the subjunctive mood: "it would be nice ...", "and what if?", "Well, maybe someday ...". My close friends, I guess, were already pretty tortured by talking about how I want to live in Turkey. And the fact that I do nothing for this. So this time a friend just tiredly said: "Lena, stop the ******. Take it and move already!" And I somehow took and moved. Yes, just like that.
The answer to the question of why I decided to live in Istanbul usually introduces others into a stupor either with its unearthly wisdom, or with infinite immaturity and irresponsibility. I moved to Istanbul simply because I wanted to live there. I did not have a hot Turkish boyfriend or a contract with an international company for a couple of years. There were no parents who donated an apartment abroad. Even friends agitating: "Come, live, relax" - I did not have. There was nothing but great love for Istanbul. It happened at first sight and it seems forever. I was fascinated by everything: the golden grandeur of the Byzantine churches; the voices of the muezzins, from which the streets vibrate; the smell of fish on the Galata bridge; impudent cats sitting on the kebab and cutlet thresholds; the unearthly beauty of Turkish men (sorry) and the taste of mussels with lemon from street vendors (sorry twice).
Over the course of the year, I traveled to Istanbul more than once with a secret hope of disappointment, but instead I was more and more dependent on him. Of course, you will find about a dozen people who will tell you that Istanbul is a hell on earth, that here they have lost a hundred times, got poisoned and spent. That they weighed them, they fingered them, brought them to the wrong place, made them pay at exorbitant prices, and lent out expired Turkish delight and full of curtains. All I can answer is only one thing: yes, and this way Istanbul also happens like any other city in the world. But I loved him, and he did not let me go.
All further actions were decomposed into a chain of simple steps. Find an apartment in Istanbul. Solve the issue with current work. Find possible work in Turkey. Again, if possible, accumulate enough money to even live without a job without any problems there for a while. The issue with the apartment could be a headache, but did not. It seems that on May 25, I opened Airbnb and looked at several options, and at the same time wrote a cry about helping a girl with whom we were superficially familiar with the job - Facebook would sometimes throw up her posts about Turkey and Turkish. Marina happily responded and promised to help, but I was 99% sure that things would not go further. What was my surprise when a week later she gave me as many as five options. In the end, we shook hands with the boy Sinan: he rented a room in his three-room apartment in Dzhikhangir. On Facebook, he seemed like a cool guy, but starting his life in a foreign city still seemed easier in the company - at least someone would raise an alarm if I perished in some dark alley.
In parallel with the search for housing, I began to look for and work. Although "work" is conditional. Internship, internship, volunteering - I was interested in everything where I could be taken for up to three months and with poor knowledge of Turkish: I started to teach him in the winter without a specific goal, for fun. I must say that before that I had never looked for a job in my life: they usually came to me with ready-made proposals on a silver platter. Therefore, to write “to nowhere” was new to me, and at first I was genuinely surprised that with my brilliant resume nobody offers me everything at once. Stumbling like a blind puppy into faceless Eichar-dog-bla-bla, I realized that I had to be smarter.
It was here that the connections developed over the years were useful to me. I made my way through my acquaintances to the personnel department of “Yandex” in order to be tied up with their office in Turkey. In the mountain of old business cards three years ago I found the contacts of two marketing managers of Turkish Airlines in Russia. Finally, she came to her former boss, who had good connections with a large Turkish construction company, and honestly asked for help. Andrei Grigorievich looked at me with sad eyes, saying that I was a gonerous adventurer. He also helped me (although, as was the case with Marina, I believed in this option least of all). The builders did not really want me to (like me them), but favorably allowed me to come to their Istanbul office and learn how to do business in Turkish. For the first time this was enough for me.
Yes, I was lucky. Although luck fit into the scheme "the world responds to you exactly as you treat it." My unknown neighbor could turn out to be a maniac or simply not a very pleasant person, an unknown apartment could be a rare hut, people around me people with whom I would never find a common language, and Turkey as a whole - much more hostile than I thought. But I was not afraid of anything in an amazing way, and on the wave of this enthusiasm (maybe too radiant) I could see only the good.
As it turned out in reality
Certainly the best that happened to me was my neighbor Sinan. No, we did not have a hint of romantic feelings, but from the first minute of our acquaintance, Sinan did everything to make me feel comfortable in a foreign country. Starting with the help in buying a local SIM card (which suddenly turned out to be not so easy) or paying bills and ending with expanding the circle of friends and going to parties where you can’t go without dating. Sinan taught me the simplest, but such important things: how to order food delivery home, where you can buy wine after ten o'clock in the evening, how to get to the airport, when you are terribly late, what is the way to go home at five in the morning so that no one will got to the bottom and what to shout from the balcony to the builders, if they decided to drill something early in the morning with a drill under your windows. No one will ever say that these little things will determine your life in a foreign country. But, in fact, in fact, they are. And if there is no one who will explain this basic cultural code to you - phrases, routes, habits and habits - you will always remain a stranger.
The second thing that conquered Istanbul is people. Surprisingly, the thought that I had no one there did not frighten me for a minute. I always easily made acquaintances and overgrown with friends in any situation, but in Turkey it happened at all rapidly. First, on the very first weekend, about thirty people gathered on our terrace on the small barbecue, only five of whom spoke English. At first, I wanted to hide in horror with my bottle of wine, but it was she who saved the day. After a couple of glasses, I confidently discussed the state of the creative industries in Russia with two Turkish guys living in Berlin, and at the end of the second bottle I tried to extort a salad recipe from a girl who did not understand a word in English, but confidently poked her finger in a bowl, juggling Turkish names (by the way, I guessed what was in the line-up). After another one or two such parties, the friends of Sinan finally accepted me into the circle of their friends, gave me a Turkish name, and began inviting me to visit, to parties and all sorts of cultural events.
And, of course, God save the Tinder! I came to Istanbul as a free woman, and I didn’t have an idea to limit myself to something. Without touching my personal life, I will say that "Tinder" gave me the opportunity to make many really cool friends. Of course, the fact that I live in Dzhihangir played a role - it is a hipster paradise in the center of Istanbul, where the local bohemians, creative class and expats live. The peculiarity of this area is that it was gradually settled by people who share approximately the same values, lead a similar way of life and even look in a very specific way. I didn’t feel like a black sheep there for a second, and when communicating with almost every new acquaintance I understood: we were on the same wavelength, and the fact that we were born in different countries does not really matter.
But more importantly, each new person introduced me to his party. Building social ties is like knitting: loop by loop, step by step. Artist Taylan brought me to the company of visual artists of all stripes that came out of the walls of the University of Fine Arts Mimar Sinan. Musician Hakan introduced a dozen DJs, promoters, owners of bars and music stores. Photographer Sauner dragged me into the thick of the fashion party. The principle is clear.
Of course, now the picky reader will say that I’m talking about some men here, gracefully avoiding the question of girlfriends. In part, I really have little to say here: almost every week my friends and girlfriends from Russia came to me, so I had no problems in terms of intimate communication with women. On the other hand, I still found in Turkey, as it seems to me, a friend or at least a good friend. Moscow acquaintances gave me a tip to the Russian girl Liza, who married five years ago and went to Istanbul. We met once, once again and slowly got closer. We are from the same Moscow party, we have a lot of mutual friends, similar interests and experience in Turkey, which you want or do not want, you cannot share with any of your old friends in Russia. In general, Lisa has become for me the same important person as Sinan.
Finally, the third thing I gained in Istanbul is the real neighborhood spirit that I and many other people who make urban projects in Russia dreamed about. This is what can be called a neighborhood - at the same time “life in the district” and “community”. My Cigangir is a small world where everything is there. Coffee shops and bars, fruit shops and vintage shops, family cutlet and hipster restaurants with local food, galleries and music studios, as well as courtyards, gardens and the famous Cihangir Merdivenler - stairs leading down to the sea, on the steps of which it is so nice to sit with a bottle of wine and Bosphorus view. Here everything is near and everyone knows each other. If you have a couple of offers with your neighbor, on weekends you already have a barbecue together and drink tea on the terrace on weekdays. If you go to the same store near the house - its owner knows you, your entire history and plans for the future. If you buy something in a vintage shop, its owners, as if nothing had happened, invite you to drink wine with them at the end of the work. For example, a typical story in these places. In general, I found my place in Istanbul.
What gave me the move
I am writing this text while in Moscow. No, I did not run away from Turkey, disappointed. During the three months spent in Istanbul, I realized that this is my city and I will live exactly there at least in the near future. I returned to change my passport, issue the necessary papers and complete my business in Russia. I found (more precisely, I was found) two Internet projects on which I will work abroad. The income from them is even greater than on my directing position in Moscow, although it would seem that this is hardly possible. I have to admit, I desperately miss Dzhihangir and count the days until the moment when my plane lands at Istanbul airport.
What did I understand because of my move? The first and most important thing is that everything in life is simpler than we think. And to be happy, to enjoy what is happening and enjoy every day is not difficult. All that is needed for this is to be honest with yourself and take responsibility for the decisions made after this. To speak to yourself openly what you want and do not want. We live like a squirrel in a wheel and often draw a string of connections that bring nothing but disappointment. It seems to us that if we write a letter of resignation, sever hateful relationships or stop communicating with old acquaintances, the world will collapse. But in fact, just stop being abused. But by ceasing to be a victim of circumstances, one can finally begin to live one’s life.
I was probably lucky: I found a city where I feel good. Where I am happy every morning is simply because I am there. And moving there is an understandable and therefore quite simple way of finding oneself. Many friends and acquaintances write to me: your example inspires us so much, and we would also like to, but we don’t know what we want. Of course, I do not urge anyone to leave Russia; I can only say - rummage in myself to understand what makes you happy. City, person, business, idea - any answer can be here.
And then everything is simple. You can always find work and money, solve bureaucratic problems and so on. The only thing that complicates the situation is the idea that all this is hard and impossible. Fears that it will not work, that they will not understand you, or even (oh my goodness!) Will be convicted. This is what prevents further progress, and not at all “objective” circumstances. My conclusions are horribly banal, but, like any common truth, they are such, because that's the way it is. "The one who wants, is looking for opportunities; who does not want - the reasons". It seems to me that the first is much more interesting.
Photo: 1, 2, 3, 4 via Shutterstock, 1, 2, 3 via Flickr
