"Well done fare": What is being taught at the training about "female destiny"
Text: Nastya Krasilnikova, Deputy Editor-in-Chief, Posters Daily
"ALREADY TODAY AT 20:00 !!! Live master class of Pavel Kochkin in Moscow + live webcast for other cities! Girls, hurry to register, time is left quite a bit "- reads today's entry on the wall of the training" Women's purpose. Married to a millionaire. "Its creators are the authors of the" Destination "course, which until recently only men were allowed.
Coach Pavel Kochkin, known for his work in the “Business Youth” project, decided not to limit himself to solving the “strong sex” problems and opened a course for girls - where he teaches them to be successful in their own way, that is, to marry millionaires or make fat cats out of available young people and husbands. Nastya Krasilnikova attended a preliminary seminar (admission 500 rubles by appointment!) For those who want to take an intensive course in order to understand what is really being taught here.
On the way to the anti-cafe somewhere in the "Mendeleevskaya" area, where the training should take place, I put the wedding ring on the other hand so as not to give myself away. For a couple of hundred meters to the door, a large woman in an abundant make-up and heavy jewelery is catching up with me, hopefully asking: "Are you on Paul? For the first time? You will be delighted, I guarantee!" We go. Loose chairs in a small room with poor ventilation are rapidly ending. By the beginning of the seminar, everything was crammed: those who did not get a chair, sit on their ottomans, some on the floor. The girls are all well-groomed, in heels, with perfect manicure and flawless styling.
The screen shows a film representing Paul, who is expected. He is described as a "millionaire, esoteric, husband and father." On the blackboard, a deliberately primitive picture is drawn: a man with an erect penis and a girl with protruding breasts look at each other. Twenty minutes after the scheduled start of the seminar, the millionaire esoteric Pavel Kochkin himself finally appears. He is dressed in a suit of a self-confident man: a shirt, a loose trousers, a look of the owner of secret knowledge.
Pavel immediately says that he didn’t allow his initial training “Destination” to search for the meaning of the girls ’life - he even hung up an ad on the door:“ Dear ladies! Take better care of women’s affairs - dancing or embroidery. ” But then someone advised him to translate his recipes for a happy life "to the female language" and to arrange more seminars for girls. In general, Paul’s rhetoric from the very beginning was such that it seemed he was about to complain that women were allowed to vote. It was obvious that he was a good speaker and knew how to control the audience, he also plentifully sprinkled his speech with jokes that caused an approving laugh from the audience.
“The status of a woman is determined by her man,” the trainer flatly said.
True, he constantly went aside and was extremely enthusiastic about himself. It turned out that he was already in 16 years outside the window was Switzerland, an expensive car and an apartment. Then he received several more higher educations (how much he doesn’t remember himself), including Harvard and Psychology of Moscow State University. Somewhere in this vast autobiography, fifteen years of meditation flashed, a whole day alone with the Dalai Lama and an indefinite amount of time spent either with the Indians in Peru, or with the Aborigines in Australia, or with both. In short, the adjective “successful” would be degrading to Paul’s omnipotent.
According to him, our coach tried all the methods of realization available to man and shone in everyone, but in the end he realized that he had no choice but to share his accumulated experience and give everything he learned. In this place from the first row there was an exclamation of approval: "You just want us to be happy!"
Periodically, Paul was distracted from the stories about himself and still remembered that he needed to tell the assembled women what their purpose was. Almost immediately it became clear that "a woman is needed then in order to fulfill her natural duties." Now and then flashed contempt for the girls who wear short haircuts and jeans (there seemed to be no such people among the crowd). “I, girls, immediately look at the manicure - and everything becomes clear to me about you,” Paul said in between cases, and I noticed that my neighbor hid her hands.
Soon the most incendiary part of the event began. According to the theory of Paul, a woman can have three types of behavior: “the fare is not young” - such a girl nags her man, “takes out his brain” and, which is absolutely monstrous according to Paul, makes you take out the garbage as soon as he went home; “farewell well done” - such a girl just keeps silent and smiles, and, for example, if her man offers her sex, he does it, even if she has no mutual desire, but does not move; and, finally, the fare is “well done” - this one always praises, supports, admires, feeds, tells her friends about how lucky she is, and makes a real cult out of her man. “The status of a woman is determined by her man,” the trainer flatly said. Pavel promised to explain how to live at the latest rate to those who gathered at an intensive two-day seminar worth thirty thousand rubles.
All these two hours I fidgeted in the chair: there was not only a lot of misgyny in the room, but also little air. It became a little awkward for the organizers: it seems that a millionaire is speaking, but they could not provide the normal conditions for the audience. Therefore, when Pavel announced the “three main phrases of the young wife” and the first one was “What am I, stupid, I didn’t guess myself!”, I capitulated through the ranks of female students who are more supportive of the coach’s ideas.
On the way to the metro, I thought about how important and good that Russian girls are willing to work on relationships, and how sad it is that in response they are offered such patriarchal, sexist and frankly humiliating decisions. I have no doubt that the monthly intensive training, at which Pavel promised to “train” everyone (one wording is worth something), was followed by at least some participants of the seminar and, perhaps, some of them could then build relationships using the proposed model and even feel yourself in them happy.
Courses that drive women and men into a rigid and brutal framework have become increasingly popular lately.
Behind the scenes, however, the fact remains that, according to Paul’s theory, a woman must follow certain and humiliating rules in order to build relationships, and a man can be just herself (which equates with the need to humiliate). It's not even so much about sexism - the proposed attitude towards the girls on this course is such that “sexism” is too soft a word for them: women are spoken rather as primitive creatures or objects whose task is to be happy in inequality.
This training is not wild and not an exception: such courses, driving women and men into a rigid and cruel framework, have become increasingly popular lately, and sexist attitudes are found even in business programs. One of these days, the so-called men's conference will take place, one of the slogans of which "Girls have no place here!" - There they are taught to be successful, to earn a lot and use women to achieve goals. At the same time, a certain Yulia Shchedrova created an online club, "I want to marry," where, in exchange for money, she says, "how can you build with your own hands such relationships with a man that naturally lead to marriage?" It is worth remembering the numerous trainings and courses on "Vedic femininity", broadcasting about the same views.
All this is not nonsense and not simple fraud: some people, having groped for a gold mine, sell obscene ideas about masculinity, femininity and communication to others, while others buy these ideas, hoping to find a simple recipe for happiness in them.
Photo: Female Destination with Pavel Kochkin