"I defended myself as best I could": I am being tried for self-defense
At the end of June, nineteen-year-old Daria Ageny accompanied the children on a trip to a summer camp in Tuapse and planned to stay there for several days. She says that on the very first evening in the city, a local resident attacked her and tried to rape her - she beat her off with a knife to sharpen pencils. Daria did not file a complaint with the police, and a month after she returned to Moscow, she herself was detained "for causing grievous harm to the man's health." We talked with Daria about what happened to her and how her life changed after the attack.
alexander savina
About attack
At the end of June I went to work in Tuapse, accompanied by a group of children. From Moscow to go more than a day, the children were small, many were traveling for the first time, and they were scared. I reassured them, fed them, and took care that they got to live and healthy, and followed the documents. In Tuapse, I handed over the children to the counselor and was free.
With the organization that sent me, we agreed that I would buy a ticket in Tuapse for a certain number, and back - on the date I ask. I planned to stay in the city for another five days, besides, they gave me a salary. On the way to the city, I tried to book a room in a hotel or an apartment, but everything was taken. As a result, I had to book a room for two nights in a terrible hostel. Upon arrival, I found a nice house by the sea with local residents. I was going to move there, but by the time I moved the things to the hostel, it was a pity for the money, and I decided to stay in the room. In the evening, I discovered that in the hostel ugly water flows from the tap, but there is no drinking water at all. I had to go to the store.
It was about eleven and half past eleven. I was looking for a convenience store and was already desperate, but suddenly I saw three guys of my age. Their appearance inspired confidence in me, so I approached them. They took me to the convenience store. We talked nicely, I bought everything I needed. After that, they took me to the place where I met them, offered to take me to the door of the hostel, but I refused - I didn’t want to strain them, especially as my friends approached them.
I had to go about five hundred meters - it was necessary to climb a hill along the street, and I would be at the goal. It was difficult to get up: a two-liter bottle of water in my bag, I was up from five in the morning, I walked all day, bathed, got burned, and was very tired. At some point, I felt that someone was following me, turned around and saw a man. At first I didn’t worry too much: well, it goes and it goes. But when I saw that he was walking right behind me, I quickened my pace and began to catch up with me, I was scared. Having come up with me, he began to ask questions: where am I from, why is she alone, so beautiful, am I not afraid to walk around the city at night where I am going. He was very drunk. I replied that I was going to the hostel, he was not far. The man offered to accompany me, I refused. She politely replied that I didn’t need help and support, I’ll go very well myself, and he probably also needs to go home. But it did not work on him.
He also constantly piled on me - perhaps because he was very drunk. He tried to grab me by the arm, by the shoulder. I retreated, tried to speed up the step, but it was difficult because I was tired. When he caught up with me, I started looking for knives in my bag - I wear it in my pencil case to sharpen pencils. I am very fearful, so I put it in my right hand, under the phone.
I did not understand what had happened, I thought, now someone will say something like: "Stop! Cut!"
I understood that a couple of minutes before the hostel and soon I would be safe. But then she hesitated a little: on the way to the hostel there was a house that could be walked around from different sides. I tried to figure out where I was, and the man said: "I am local, I know where to go!" - and showed to the right. Later, with a lawyer, we looked where he offered to go - it turned out to be garages, standing with the letter C, such a dead end.
I went the other way, the man was still walking with me. Behind the house that I was trying to circumvent, was either a wall, or a fence, I do not remember - the man very sharply pressed me to it. Some details are difficult to remember. He grabbed me from behind, and from fright I began to scream loudly. There were residential buildings around, and I hoped that someone would hear, look out of the window, come out, help me - but this did not happen. Now I remember this, and I am very sad and unpleasant - I am sure that many people heard me screaming, but decided to stay away.
Then the man put his hand over my mouth. I tried to bite him, I realized that screaming is useless - no one will come out - and this only takes away strength. I had a free right hand, and I tried to fight off the phone, under which was a knife. The man was in the back, and I tried to hit him on the head - but this did not help, he did not let me go. I did not understand what to do, I could not escape and began to panic. But then he bent me, and my second left hand was freed. Now you can open a folding knife - it is old and slightly rusty, it took a lot of time. I straightened up and began to brush off the knife - with my right hand over my left side. The moments of the blow, I remember badly - I restore them by what was before and after, but I don’t have that moment in my memory. My lawyer and doctors say that this is because of the state of affect. Later, with the help of the investigators, we learned that I did hit him. There were two knife wounds, the investigation confirmed that the blows were inflicted by my knife.
I had to brush it off for a long time, he did not let me go, but at some point I left. I did not see exactly where, but I heard footsteps. I understood that I had to run, call for help, do something, but stood still, in the same position. Another ten seconds - now it seems that it is a bit, but in that situation it was a whole eternity. I could not leave - I do not understand why, because I was very scared. I did not understand what had happened, I thought, now someone will say something like: "Stop! Cut!"
Then I began to rebound and began to look for glasses (they fell during the scuffle), I found the phone, it also fell when I started to open the knife. After that, she ran back down the street, hoping that the guys who accompanied me were still there to help me. I do not know why I did not run to the hostel - I did not even have such a thought. Fortunately, the guys were still there. I ran to them in tears, trying to explain what had happened. They asked where the little knife was - it was still in my hand, they took it from me and said that there was no blood on it - which means, most likely, I did not hit it. They asked how the man looked, I tried to remember, but I could not. I did not even remember what his haircut was and whether it was bald. She remembered that he was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, and nothing more.
They ask me what I would do if I were in that situation again. To be honest, I think I would do the same
The guys said that you need to go around the district and try to find it. Together we got to where everything happened - we didn’t find any signs of a scuffle, no blood, nothing. There was a fork in the road, the guys (there were eight of them) divided into three groups and went to explore different directions. They walked for about ten to fifteen minutes and found nothing too. We thought that I probably didn’t hit it, and the guys took me to the hostel. At night, I wrote to my friends about what happened, they tried to calm me down. The next morning I changed the tickets and went home to Moscow.
I did not file for rape for several reasons. Firstly, I don’t think that it’s pleasant to someone to come to the police with such a statement - it’s difficult psychologically. Secondly, I wanted to leave Tuapse as soon as possible, I was very scared. Since I was sure that the man was alive, safe and sound, and I myself was outtaken and the act of violence did not happen, I didn’t see the point of going to the police. What would I say? What did a man whom I do not remember trying to rape me? They would not even look for him, but I would still have to stay in the city, which I hate and whom I fear. I did not see any point in this.
Many say that if I went to the police, everything would be different. But I didn’t have serious bodily injuries — I couldn’t remember if I had bruises. I could not prove the attempted rape anyway — usually they do it for the damage they have suffered (visible bruises, wounds, cuts) or biological material.
During the interrogation, investigators also asked why I did not call the police. I said that I screamed, hit the man with the phone, tried to escape, I had to get a knife, and they answered: "That is, of course, good, but why didn't you call the police?" I was very angry. That is, the man is holding me up, putting his hands where he does not follow, and here I am: “Excuse me, please, I need to call the police. Now I’ll unlock the phone, call, another twenty minutes they will go - let's wait.”
They ask me what I would do if I were in that situation again. To be honest, I think I would have done the same. I would defend myself as best I could - I had no choice.
About the investigation
Returning to Moscow, I studied with a psychologist. I was depressed, I was drinking antidepressants. This, of course, was very stressful: I cannot say that attempts at harassment are rare, but this usually happens less aggressively and can be easily stopped by shouting or sharp remarks. A month later, I slowly began to forget about this situation, I found a young man, life began to improve. And it was at this moment that operatives came for me. As it turned out later, the man was not going to initiate a case - just when a man goes to the hospital with a knife wound, doctors are obliged to inform the police.
The day before, the police called me and said that I was a witness in the case they were investigating - I don’t remember exactly what they came up with. I said that, of course, I was ready to help, and explained where to find me. In the morning, at about ten or eleven, they came to work at me - it was the first of August. I work in a children's studio, and in the summer there are no classes — I just keep order. My boyfriend was with me. Three male operatives arrived. They introduced themselves, asked if I was such
numbers in Tuapse - I said yes. Then they replied that I almost killed a man and they arrested me. I could not believe my ears, asked: "Are you laughing?" Immediately she said that I was not guilty and they tried to rape me. I thought that after I said this, they would answer me: "Excuse me, please, you had to have such a difficult time. We will go and arrest this man, goodbye!" Apparently, I am very naive.
I was taken to Sheremetyevo. We sat there for eleven hours waiting for the flight. It was terrible: I could not do anything without the supervision of operatives. Even the toilet was accompanied by an operative, a man, and it was disgusting.
In Tuapse, I was immediately taken to the police station, and interrogations began. I was supposed to be put in jail, but when the operatives and investigators saw me, they seemed to understand that I was not a recidivist, but an ordinary girl, an artist from a theatrical family who was in trouble and just defended from the rapist. But they could not prove it - I only had indirect evidence: the guys I turned to, right after everything happened, the recordings that I sent to my friends when I was in shock. All this is not considered direct evidence. It is not clear what to do and how to prove attempted rape in such cases.
At first, the operatives were very strict with me, but then they began to treat me more calmly. Of course, sometimes they treat me roughly and harshly - but I understand that with real criminals they behave much tougher. My investigator is a young woman, she is kind and open. I have a very good relationship with her: she understands that I am not guilty, and very much sympathizes with me. I think that, in principle, everyone treats me as well as they can.
I am sure that everyone understands perfectly who is right in this situation and who is not. His version of events even sounds silly.
At the confrontation, the man heard from my lips what had happened and realized that everything was serious. He went to my lawyer and asked if it was possible to hush up the case. My lawyer said it was impossible, but you can stop the reconciliation of the parties. If a man would admit that by his actions he could scare me (he would not even have to admit that he tried to rape me), and said that he had no complaints against me, and I would say that I also have no complaints, would shut down. We agreed to do it, but the very next day he filed a lawsuit against me for three hundred thousand rubles for causing moral and physical damage. We were shocked. I do not know who pondered him.
I am sure that everyone understands perfectly who is right in this situation and who is not. His version of events even sounds silly. He said that a girl approached him and asked where to spend the night. There are already questions: I had booked a room, and I already knew where to sleep - my belongings were lying there. According to his version, he, such a hero, told the girl that the hostel was not far away, and offered to hold her, but she agreed. On the way to the hostel, he began to read the poems of Yesenin. When she reached the hostel, the girl said she had to go, he was upset because she still wanted to read poetry. But the girl began to leave - then he took her hand, but she began to scream. He did not understand why she was screaming, let go of her and left, and then he felt a pain in his stomach and realized that he had been injured. At the confrontation, my lawyer asked if he could read at least one poem from Yesenin. I think he would do it, because he assumed that he would be asked such a question, but he said that he considered it inappropriate. So I never listened to the poems.
First, the case was brought under Article 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation "Intentional infliction of grievous bodily harm" (punishment is up to ten years imprisonment. - Note ed.). The case was sent to the prosecutor, she had to take it to court. But the prosecutor's office did not agree with the article and said that some examinations had not been carried out, so the case was returned for further investigation. The investigation considered two options: either I was just aggressive and I cut men at night, or I had a motive - to defend myself. I was sent for a forensic psychiatric examination and was declared “sane”. Then the investigation remained only one option - self-defense. Now the question is being solved whether this self-defense was necessary or its limits were exceeded. That is, now investigators must assess how much I risked my life and whether I could defend myself in this way. It is considered, for example, that if you have been told an offensive word, you cannot hit a person in response, but if they tried to kill you, you can defend yourself somehow. I need to prove that my life was threatened - but I don’t understand why I should do it, in my opinion, everything is so clear.
About the reaction of others
My mother and I stayed in Tuapse for two weeks while the investigation was going on. There was an identification (by the way, he identified me), a confrontation. In all the papers it is written that I am an "attacker", and a man is a "victim." This is so strange. Then we were released on a written undertaking not to leave Moscow, but each time we fly to Tuapse when needed. It turned out that everything is very expensive - apparently, everyone needs to have a million in reserve so as not to go to jail with unsuccessful self-defense. I spend money on a lawyer, flights (we buy tickets a day, and it costs a lot of money), housing. I passed a polygraph, which cost, it seems, forty thousand rubles. And I spend that kind of money just because some freak tried to rape me. I do not understand why this is happening.
Before the operatives took me away, two people knew about what happened. When I was taken away, I told all my friends and family - mainly because, however bad it may sound, we needed money. And only now, when everything has become more ambitious — television, newspapers, magazines — not the closest relatives will gradually learn about this. For example, the grandmother found out about everything, and she is very worried, I feel so sorry for her. Grandma, don't worry, I'm fine!
I have a page on the VKontakte network - I closed it, but I had to open it again, otherwise those with whom I need to have contact, such as journalists, will not be able to contact me. I don’t know why, but comments on my wall are usually negative, but positive messages are written in personal messages: “Everything will be fine!”, “You are not to blame!”, “Good luck to you!” But still, there are people who may not believe me or simply hate women, and there are a lot of them too. Recently, I ordered a taxi in my city - in Khimki - and for some reason I sat in the front seat, although I usually do not do that. The taxi driver looked at me and said that he would not drive me and canceled the order, because I was a "maniac." I was very upset.
Now I’m almost certain that I’ll not sit down for nine years - I don’t know what should happen to the investigation in order to return the 111th article. But it’s still scary that they can put me in prison, if not for nine years, but less.