Russian teenagers about friendship, the Internet and relationships with parents
Lately only talk about what teens are doing on the Internet: many books, articles, news and online statuses have been written on this topic. Despite this, the virtual life of modern schoolchildren and their interests remain a mystery to adults, including their parents. We decided to give the floor to teenagers from different cities of Russia who are looking for friends not only in real life, but also in the public places of VKontakte, and asked them to tell about themselves, their peers, relationships with their parents and what part of their lives the Internet takes .
Today I want to tell a little story about my life. Each person has already come, was or will only be a transitional age - this is what is happening to me now. Transitional age is a time when you are very complex about your appearance, study; it seems to every teenager that no one understands him that life is not interesting, many do not see the meaning of life. This age you just need to go through. Probably, transitional age is the most memorable time: first love, new acquaintances; it is at this time that you understand who your true friend is and who just used you. I will tell you a little about my transitional age.
My every day begins with the fact that I need to get up, take a morning shower, brush my teeth, get dressed and go to school. After school I, like every schoolboy, come home and do my homework — I start with the written ones. After that, I'm going to the gym. Yes, I don’t look like many children - I don’t walk in parks and don’t lead an unhealthy lifestyle - quite the contrary, I’m into sports, and that’s why I signed up for athletics. I return home after training at about 19:10, after that I finish my oral homework, take an evening shower, wash my face and go to bed. This is my day. Weekends are a little different.
To be honest, right now I have a lot of internet friends from different cities. All of them sometimes understand and console me even more than those near me. Of course, I consider my family and friends as my main support. Like all girls, I have best friends, they will always support me in difficult times: I am grateful to Sonia, Kate, Dasha and Veronica. I also have a wonderful family: mother, brother, grandmother, grandfather and me. Mom is the most dear person for me on this planet, I trust her without exception. When I first liked the boy, my mother told me a story from her childhood (she’s also a girl, and she also had her first love). Simply put, my life consists of the most wonderful people in the world. And if you, my friend, are going to commit suicide, then I do not advise you to do this: for today you cry, cursing life, and tomorrow you will say that life is the best that you have.
My name is Lisa, I am 14 years old, I live in the beautiful small town of Zarinsk. All girls at fourteen have problems with their parents, misunderstandings and quarrels. But, oddly enough, I live together with my parents, and even if we swear, it happens because of my complex nature. I love them and would like to spend as much time with them as possible.
My parents never forbade me to go to any circles, be it sambo, boxing, athletics, dance or art school, they supported me in everything. Now my friends and I go to train in fire-applied sports. My parents do not like that I come home late, I walk with bruises and scratches, but when I once again ask if I can go to the gym, my mother lets me go. It is for this that I love them: they know that it is traumatic, they worry about me, but they understand that I have found what my soul is for. Because of the workouts, I spend little time with my parents. We mainly meet in the evenings in the hall, talk, discuss how someone passed the day, mom and dad are watching TV, and I read books. On weekdays, I cannot be torn away from books, and on weekends I am walking with friends.
It so happened that with my mom and dad I have a great relationship. Mom helps me in problems with boys, and dad helps me get rid of these boys. I would not want my parents to participate in my life more or less than they do now: they do not let me blossom, but at the same time they don’t hold me in tight knuckles. With my mother, conflicts are rare, and most often due to my stubbornness or laziness. These conflicts are resolved very simply: I do not like to quarrel and admit that I am not right. There is no conflict with dad at all.
Parents do not understand my style of clothes, they do not perceive dresses and sneakers, they think that shoes need shoes, and shorts to shoes. I like that parents do not touch me when I worry, they wait until I calm down, and only then ask what happened, they do not put pressure on me. Of course, there are topics that I can not talk about with my parents. If this happens, then I call my grandmother or go to her, she can always help me.
When I was younger, I had all my friends — both acquaintances and enemies. But with age you realize that there are not so many real friends: at the moment I have five friends that I can rely on in any situation. I am very sorry that one friend is several thousand kilometers away. We met him on the Internet. He supports me in difficult moments of my life, for two years we have become so accustomed to communication, that now we can’t imagine life without each other. Because of this, I became addicted to the Internet, I constantly go with the phone.
It so happened that I also met my beloved person on the Internet. In him, as in me, a lot of positive qualities, but he and I have minuses. He is complex about his appearance, and my flaw is character. It so happened that I doubted that he needed me, but that between us there were no secrets, I wrote to him about it. I wrote on emotions and touched him with words, we started to curse, and the next day he said that he did not want to hurt me, that he was not worthy of a girl like me. Since then, we can not make up, but I believe that someday I will open messages in "VKontakte" and see what I have been waiting for almost a month - his return.
I became addicted to the Internet, began to live in the virtual world; I don't like it, but I can't do anything about it. The Internet and social networks are very useful, they make communication at a distance easier. But they delay, thus taking away from us the time that we could spend with people close to us. Now I began to fear that someday I would wake up and my parents would not be around, so I try to spend more time with them, but the workout, school, friends and books take him away. That is why I get scared: we do not value time, scattering them left and right. But sometime this time will definitely end, and then we will understand what we should appreciate.
Like and wrote that I am from Saransk, but after half a month I am moving to Kazan, which is both a frightening and a very long-awaited event. I am probably not much different from other teenagers: I also walk, I spend time in companies (always different, because I am not lucky to get a permanent one). But I never had friends. Yes, absolutely never. This probably influenced my views (albeit not fully established), my lifestyle and in general my personality. In addition, my strained relations with my parents put pressure on me. They never tried to understand me, always thought only about the benefits, like "I will brag about my child." They were always fascinated by my younger sister, who was considered an angel because of her lack of communication and younger age. But who, if not my sister, knows the whole truth about her completely non-ideal character.
Deviating from the topic, I will say: I managed to visit all sorts of companies - non-formals, Gopniks, punks, even communicated with guys over 20 (no sex, just communication). I have not taken root anywhere, I have not found a soul mate anywhere. Now there’s no point in looking for friends, because the main thing is to find them in Kazan, which will also be problematic.
Relationships were. First love was not the most pleasant event in my life: everything ended sadly, and I still in potential guys are looking for the features of my ex, who was not distinguished either by his mind, or by his beauty, or by any other outstanding qualities. Unpleasant
I find solace in books, films and learning languages - at this stage of life, this is probably the most suitable for me. In general, I despise hedonism, therefore against parties, revels and parties. My opinion about such a lifestyle again did not happen immediately. She learned from her mistakes: a couple of months of eternal parties, home drunkenness - it got to the point that it became disgusting from itself. Has changed.
What to do in the near future? I do not even know. I hope that soon everything, if changed, is only for the better, because I had a great opportunity to turn over a couple of unpleasant pages of my short life.
I am a schoolboy from the most western regional center of the country - Kaliningrad. Living here is good, just great. Naturally, I often use the Internet, I spend the most time on geek sites (w3bsit3-dns.com and the like), because I like to flash phones and program. Also I spend a lot of time on social networks, Pikabu and VKontakte. In "VKontakte" I am especially interested in groups about mobile technologies and sports.
In some respects, I was lucky: my parents are also registered on social networks, so I have no strict restrictions. If we are talking about parents, then I will say that they are very modern and in many ways I understand, I am very happy about it. But we also have conflicts with them - most often due to the fact that we have different opinions on certain issues, different worldviews. I think many have it. I am a slow, contemplative man, like Oblomov, and my parents need to "said, said, done." I love to think about how I will carry out this or that assignment, perhaps, to figure out how to complete the task faster. In most cases, I admit that I was wrong, but do not tell my parents about it.
Now about studying. I study well, I please my parents - I joke, I do not please, but at least I satisfy them with my grades (fours, fives). My classmates are very funny and advanced, in general, we are very friendly and athletic class information direction. Now I am very concerned about the number of lessons of the Russian language per week: imagine there are only two of them, and physical education, for example, three. By the way, I forgot to mention sport: I am engaged in climbing and boxing, and I have success in this business - the second level of climbing. I chose my profile in school, informational, for a reason: in the future, I’m thinking of becoming a programmer or choosing another IT profession. I also care that because of the tense situation in the world, I tend to choose the military profession. I cannot say that serving is very bad, but I would like to live in peace and without wars.
My name is Lera, I am 16 years old. I live in the city of Kursk. I have an incomplete family: I live alone with my mother. We often see each other with my father, and that I have, that my mother has a good relationship with him. We sometimes go together to a cafe, occasionally - to the cinema.
Usually the second family is called friends. But I'm not sure that friendship exists at all. I got used to the fact that “friends” don't care about my problems and, when it is hard for me, I cannot rely on them. I know that I can easily be replaced, and this is not a bit hidden. I often meet people on the Internet. Relations with many people do not develop, and we stop talking in a day or a few hours. But still, those people with whom I communicate now, I can not call friends, because every time the same thing happens: they slaughter me.
I am frightened by people with high self-esteem. I try to stay away from popular peers. I do not like indifferent. I’m worried about my grades at school, but I’m hardly doing my homework. I am worried about my health, but I do nothing to improve it. I care about relationships with other people, but I'm not trying to change anything. I care a lot about everything, but I do nothing.
I spend a lot of time on the Internet, I like to look at beautiful photos of nature, animals in different public places, read stories in the group "Pew". I write fan fiction, and I enjoy reading the works of others. The Internet certainly affects my life. I think without him I would not be who I am now. I would not have learned about many books that I love now, if not for the Internet, in particular “VKontakte”. I would not hear about many music bands.
Spending time on the Internet is good, but in moderation. I love to read, but because of the Internet there is almost not enough time for my hobby. And taking and turning off the tablet is quite difficult when you know that you can miss something important during your absence or miss some interesting information.
I am in a rather complicated relationship with my parents. Sometimes they do not understand me, sometimes I am their, hence conflicts and quarrels arise. But between people of different generations this often happens. I have a better relationship with my mother. With her, I spend more time together.
I would like my parents to be less active in my life. Sometimes their care is very much, and it happens when it is completely out of place. Conflicts in our family are often due to a banal misunderstanding. Everything is solved quite easily. Just come to a compromise. There are times when it seems to me that parents do not understand me. It is unlikely that they will ever understand my dislike of the general order and standards of decency. In relations with parents, I like the fact that our opinions sometimes converge, and I don’t like that if they don’t converge, then I’m necessarily wrong, without arguing. If I can't talk to my parents about my problems, I discuss them with my older sister or friends.
Parents sometimes try to limit my access to the Internet, but only when it interferes with my studies. My favorite bands in VK are "Zen", "THE DUMP", "Dark Corner". I have 82 friends there, I met all of them in real life. In general, in peers, I do not like their excessive stupidity and incontinence. And what worries me most of all is passing the exams and the likelihood of getting under the gun.
Photo: © Direk Takmatcha - stock.adobe.com., Aopsan - stock.adobe.com., Tarzhanova - stock.adobe.com., Sebra - stock.adobe.com.