"Nerds on the Internet": Why cyberbullying is not a joke
"I do not like what is written about you - do not read"“You’ll think it’s impossible to write about you,” “This is the Internet. Everyone wants what he wants, he writes,” such arguments are often used when it comes to cyberbullying. In recent years, harassment has been discussed more and more often, but sympathy can usually be expected only by those who have encountered it offline. Harassment on the Internet is still considered something insignificant. We tell why cyberbullying is just as dangerous as “ordinary” bullying, and how cybercrafts differ from ordinary jokes or comments on the Internet.
Julia Dudkina
"You are scary"
Last year, Anna deleted all photos and personal information from her social network accounts. She set up her pages so that only friends could view them. “Still, sometimes I feel anxious,” says Anna. “It seems to me that someone can track me down.”
It all started in 2017, when Anna decided to start a YouTube channel with book reviews. “I didn’t have a goal to become a popular video-blogger,” says Anna. “I did it more for myself and my friends. About a hundred people subscribed to me, and that was fine with me. Sometimes I just talked about literary novelties, sometimes I appeared in popular YouTube genre - bragged about her purchases from a bookstore. " Once, inspired by the TV show "Orange - hit of the season" about life in a women's prison, Anna decided to read the book of the same name and tell about it in the next video.
“I allowed myself to express some of my own thoughts,” she recalls. “For example, she suggested that psychologists should work with prisoners, and after being released, they should be helped to adapt to life in the wild and socialize. I also said that in all countries innocent people are caught. In general, she criticized the very idea of the prison system. "
At first, nothing much happened to the channel of Anna. But in the first months of last year, several dozens of new readers suddenly subscribed to it, and in the comments there were threats: “There are ten of us here, and our fists are itching”, “We will come to your city, hold on”, “Your video was watched by people who were sitting and they didn’t like it. " Under the other records, unpleasant messages also began to appear: "How stupid you are," "You're terrible." “The fact that someone took to criticize my appearance and intellectual abilities didn’t hurt me very much,” says Anna. “But the threats frightened me. I’m not a very advanced Internet user and don’t understand if people can track me off on a video blog. In any case, I no longer feel safe. It seemed to me that these commentators came straight to my home, violated my personal space. "
This went on for about six months. Anna blocked offenders, but new ones appeared instead of them - perhaps they were the same people, but under different names. The more threats they sent, the worse it became. Imagination painted different pictures: what if these people are endowed with some kind of power? Suddenly they are already hunting for her? Anna was aware that this was unlikely. But it was impossible to cope with anxiety - she began to sleep poorly, she felt defenseless. When she told her husband about her condition, he replied: "These are just some assholes on the Internet, do not worry about such garbage." Not finding support, Anna felt even more alone and weak. In the end, she deleted all entries from her video blog and decided to abandon any Internet publicity.
The more threats they sent, the worse it became. Imagination painted different pictures: what if these people are endowed with some kind of power?
“All my acquaintances said that nobody needed my little channel, that no one would specifically look for me,” she says. “Maybe my paranoia really started. But I decided that my health is more important for me than the video blog.”
Cyberbulling, which Anna faced, is a relatively new concept denoting persecution in electronic space. It is believed that the most vulnerable group for cyberbullying is teenagers. According to Microsoft, 49% of Russian schoolchildren aged 8 to 17 years have been cyberbullying to one degree or another. But for adults, the risk is not much less. According to the Pew Research Center, 40% of adult Internet users in the United States faced harassment. 27% admit that they were offended by nicknames, 22% recall that someone purposefully tried to cause them shame and embarrassment, 8% received threats of physical violence, 8% were harassed, 7% suffered for a long time, and 6 % received insults of a sexual nature.
Despite such data, many doubt the existence of cyberbulling itself. The most popular arguments are: “You can simply not read what is written about you,” “You can get out of the Internet at any time,” “Everyone has the right to write on the Internet whatever he wants.” As the clinical psychologist Grigory Misyutin explains, society is still not accustomed to perceive what is happening on the Internet as something real, “serious”. “For a long time, many did not believe that you could earn money on the Web,” says Misyutin. “Someone still has the conviction that it is impossible to get an education on the Internet. It’s the same with violence. There are certain stigma around cyberbullying victims, it is believed that they are subjected to "unrealistic" violence. This creates a vicious circle. People do not talk about harassment and threats, because they are afraid of condemnation, because they are told that they exaggerate, invent problems. As a result, the victims are silent and remain under pressure from the aggressors " .
Another problem with cyberbullying is the complexity of the definition itself. Even among researchers, opinions about what counts as cyberbulling differ. One popular interpretation is “deliberate and repetitive harm done using electronic devices.” But such a description can also be misleading. “It’s quite easy to confuse interpersonal conflict, single insult and cyberbulling,” says Kirill Khlomov, Ph.D., senior research scientist at the cognitive research laboratory at ION RANEPA. “The main features of cyberbullying are repeatability and focus. He can go in for cyberbullying both on his page and in a specially created public - sometimes such public names are called “hate groups”. "
Often, the aggressors claim that they do not do cyberbullying at all, but only joke. According to Khlomov, the line between joking and harassment can really be blurred and the criteria here are quite subjective. But ultimately the main indicator is the psychological state of the victim. If because of the "joke" a person feels fear, anxiety, a sense of humiliation, then this is no longer a joke. At the same time, there is no sense in proving to the person who was hurt that nothing really happened.
“Imagine that you are working in an office,” says Khlomov. “You opened the window, and your neighbor says it’s cold. You can say to him:“ In fact, it’s not cold here, you’re just freezing. ” that you deny him an adequate perception of reality and yourself. The same thing happens when one person convinces another of not offending him, but just joking. "
"I managed it myself"
“Once I was in a rather large group chat in a Telegram,” says Liana. “During one conversation, I reasonably explained to another chat participant that, in my opinion, he was wrong.” After that, the user found her account on instagram and took a screenshot of one of the pictures. “It was a photo with superimposed effects,” says Liana. “I had cat ears, round glasses, big eyes and a bit of a wild smile.” The aggressor posted this photo in a group chat and accompanied with disapproving comments. "He wrote, as if I was fat, I have a huge hanging chest, I do not shave and stink," recalls Liana. "Apparently, he decided that I considered myself to be a feminist movement, and intended to offend me with the help of stereotypes."
Other participants joined the discussion, they again and again uploaded this photo, commenting on the girl's appearance. But, according to her, this story did not hurt her. “I understood that the aggressor behaved in such a way from despair and resentment,” says Liane. “I even felt sorry for him. But I behaved at ease, sarcastically commented on his behavior, did not lose composure.” According to Liana, in this situation she managed to "maintain a dominant position."
As Kirill Khlomov explains, different people can really have different tolerance for Internet aggression. The peak of Russian teenagers' involvement in cyberbullying falls on the fifth or sixth grades - at this age people are often psychologically vulnerable. As they grow older, the percentage of people who become victims or aggressors decreases: many people work out ways to cope with cyber-aggression and harassment.
But if someone can not pay attention to insults and threats, it does not mean that everyone is capable of it. “Everyone has their own threshold of sensitivity,” says Grigory Misyutin. “For some, losing your favorite child's toy is tragedy. For some, it is unpleasant, but not fatal. This does not mean that someone is better and someone is worse Simply, we are not the same. Moreover, our vulnerability depends on a specific life period. A person may encounter cyber-aggression at a difficult moment for himself. In the end, even when we just have a cold, our sensitivity can grow. pays attention to the aggression of the society, but ie certain familiar to him, for some reason it is important. And this friend is connected to the harassment and the victim is wounded. "
There is a certain stigma around the victims of cyberbullying, it is believed that they are subject to "unreal" violence. It creates a vicious circle
Researchers Robin Kowalski, Susan Limber, Patricia Agatston in their book Cyberbullying: Bulling in the Digital Age, write that harassment on the Internet is not always obvious. This may be not only direct insults, but also the fact that most observers may not recognize the persecution. Like the "usual" bulling, cyberbulling involves a huge amount of actions, starting with covert hints, ending with sheer cruelty, which can lead to suicide. At the same time, according to Grigory Misyutin, it is important to remember that there is no “half violence” - even if aggression from the outside does not seem destructive, this does not mean that it should be legitimized.
Kowalski, Limber and Agatston in their study offer a fairly broad classification of cyberbullying, starting with the most "harmless" forms. For example, flaming (from the English. Flame - "ignition"). This is an emotional exchange of remarks between interlocutors who initially are on an equal position. But because of the aggression, the balance of power is shifting, moreover, one of the participants may attract to his side any number of Internet users. As a result, visitors to the forum or the public enter into violent correspondence and collectively pounce on someone with insults. At the same time, they may not even understand the meaning of the initial conflict or perceive what is happening as a game.
Another form of cyberbullying that researchers distinguish is cyberlapse. These are persistently repeated words or actions addressed to one person. The purpose of the aggressor is to cause irritation, anxiety and stress in the victim.
“At the same time, for someone,“ hard ”communication on the Internet is familiar, they like it,” says Misyutin. “The reaction to aggression is an individual indicator. Therefore, quite often the aggressor says that the“ excessive ”sensitivity of the victim is not his, the aggressor, problem. In fact, such words indicate the aggressor’s extreme unwillingness to take the position of another person. They say that he has difficulty using social intelligence. A person chooses a social model in which he maintains his status with aggression. Only here, this model is now obsolete. After the catastrophe of the XX century, human life becomes more and more valuable, people are beginning to take seriously their safety and environment. The idea of violence is losing its electorate, and social intelligence becomes increasingly important skill for survival. "
"It's like they stole me"
“Once, when I was still in school, my closest girlfriends during the winter holidays called me and said that they would no longer communicate with me,” Catherine recalls. “They told me that I was a traitor and they hung up.” In the class where Catherine studied, there were already episodes of bulling: schoolchildren beat each other, locked up the toilet, pushed, hid things. Catherine immediately began to imagine how her friends would turn the whole class against her, and the same thing would happen to her that before this happened to her eyes with other children.
“My parents saw that I burst into tears after a phone call and decided to ask my friends what had happened,” Ekaterina recalls. “They called one of the girls. After that, I received messages from my friends:“ You sounded parents ”, Now it gets worse. "" Girls persuaded familiar high school girls to join the persecution, and under the photos of Catherine began to appear comments: "Urodina", "Terrible". “It was such an age when everyone constantly posted photos, put huskies and wrote to each other:“ You're pretty, ”says Catherine.“ I wanted to be popular, I liked it when I was praised. And then, under all my pictures and recordings, appear insults. " Later, a student from a parallel class, with whom Catherine did not even communicate, began to write her personal messages: "You had better not appear in school."
One day, a girl discovered that there is an account on the VKontakte network that exactly copies her own page. There were the same photos and personal information. The top entry on the wall said: "This is my new page, add." Catherine began to follow this account and found that with each passing day more and more of her acquaintances are in his "friends". “Once I met my neighbor in the courtyard, she studied at a class younger than me,” says Ekaterina. “She pounced on me and started to say that I was writing nasty things to her. I asked her to show messages. It turned out that the creators of the fake account write from my face insults familiar. "
As Catherine recalls, at school she always tried not to offend anyone, to be friendly with everyone. “Now it seemed to me as if I, my image, had been stolen and distorted,” she says. “He no longer belonged to me. Maybe I shouldn’t go on the Internet. But I couldn’t stop following the events. At the same time I jerked from every notice. I began to sleep very badly, at night I was literally choking with tears. The alarm seemed to be pressing on me constantly. "
13-year-old schoolgirl from South African Pretoria killed herself due to the fact that the schoolchildren sent each other in the WhatsApp messenger her photo
When Catherine returned to school after the holidays, she realized that her ex-girlfriends were not going to stop at cyberbullying - they were urging the whole class to throw objects at her during lessons. On the very first day of study, she accidentally heard that girls are going to lock her up in the locker room and make a "dark one." “Fortunately, my parents took this situation seriously right from the start,” says Ekaterina. “They even offered to call the police. But in the end I just switched to another school. By the way, I later learned that my former girlfriends wrote messages my new classmates - they wanted to turn them against me. But they didn’t work out - at the new school, everything went well for me. "
As Kirill Khlomov explains, cyberbulling is often associated with bulling in real life, and the number of such cases is increasing. “Ten years ago, cyber etching was linked to real only in 10% of cases,” says Khlomov. “Now this figure has risen to 40% and, judging by the trend, it will still grow.” However, even when it does not reach a real threat, harassment on the Internet is not harmless.
Although many consider cyberbullying a “virtual” danger, the consequences of it, as well as of “ordinary” bulling, are quite real. It affects the risk of developing depression. A 2007 study among children in the state of California found that 93% of cyberbullying victims complained of feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness. A 2000 study at the University of New Hampshire found that 32% of people exposed to cyberbullying experienced at least one symptom of chronic stress. These symptoms include sleep disturbances, physical weakness and problems with concentration. Кроме того, согласно разным исследованиям, люди, столкнувшиеся с кибербуллингом, часто начинают страдать от повышенного уровня социальной тревоги, низкой самооценки, у школьников и студентов снижается успеваемость.
В последние десять лет по всему миру участились случаи суицида среди жертв кибербуллинга. Один из недавних случаев - 13-летняя школьница из южноафриканской Претории покончила с собой из-за того, что школьники пересылали друг другу в мессенджере WhatsApp её фотографию. Что именно было на снимке - неизвестно. The police managed to find out only that because of the photo classmates scoffed at her and the girl was afraid to go to school. In 2016, David Molak, a 16-year-old schoolboy who had been subjected to cyberbulking for several months because of his appearance, committed suicide in Texas. After that, the state began to act a law under which the victim can achieve financial or judicial punishment for the aggressor.
As Khlomov explains, the Internet is still a special medium of communication — a tougher, rougher one. Some states are only now beginning at the legislative level to try to regulate what is happening there. The fact is that this medium for communication appeared quite recently. Ethical norms have not yet formed in it. "American criminologist Robert Mahaffi compares the modern Internet with the Wild West," Khlomov said. "I think this is a completely correct comparison. Until recently, there were no generally accepted rules on the Internet. The administrator of each resource himself defined how users can behave Now new rules are being worked out, the boundaries of what is permitted are going on. As the Internet becomes part of our reality, a new ethic of communication is being worked out. A few years ago, no one could think It’s possible to lose a job because of comments in social networks. But now it’s quite possible. Cyberspace is no longer a separate environment - it’s a part of our life. And if before a person on the Internet seemed to be in an invisible hat and could talk and do whatever, now there comes an era of personal responsibility for their behavior on the web. "
Illustrations: Anya Oreshina
