"I could not remember in the mornings what I live for": How I gave up alcohol
For many of us, alcohol is part of everyday life, which does not seem frightening or bad at all. A glass of champagne on Saturday brunch, some wine at dinner or a cocktail on Friday after work help to relax and do not lead to severe intoxication - but still it is very easy to cross the brink of abuse. Even in the absence of alcohol dependence, his regularly incoming doses are harmful. We told how to suspect that you drink too much - and today we asked Anastasia Strelkovskaya how refusing to drink alcohol made her feel happy.
There were different periods in my relationship with alcohol. There were times when I drank every day - a month or two without stopping. Sometimes I drank only on weekends, or I chose strong drinks a couple of times a week, or every day for a glass of wine at home. It was different.
I first tried alcohol at thirteen. I do not remember a specific point, but I remember that it was in the summer camp. I started smoking there. When I was a teenager, we formed a company in the district: some school guys, guys from neighboring houses. With them, we drank almost every day, mostly beer and cocktails in cans. Then we were taken to the station several times: we were noisy in the streets, entered the entrances, painted on the walls there - speaking the language of the law, engaged in vandalism. Once in a giant drunken company, I had a fight with a girl - because of what, I don’t remember, but it didn’t stop at all. One day, we with a guy I met at that time ran away from the police, both drunk. In general, I have had many such stories like nothing at all criminal, but on the verge of a social bottom.
Then, because of alcohol, there were no tragic stories with me, there were no problems with work or housing. Why did I drink? I didn’t understand this before and realized only now: alcohol gave me a feeling of emancipation and self-confidence. When I drank, I became more confident, it was easier for me to communicate, I relaxed and felt at ease; I was funny joking, I could safely talk about everything. In a sober state, apparently, did not work. Now it is obvious to me that with the help of booze I unknowingly tried to solve psychological problems.
When you smoke a pack a day, you don’t play sports and after a day you drink, you can’t remember what you live for in the morning. The most important thing - I could not positively answer the question, am I happy
Once I realized that all areas of my life are influenced by alcohol - and they all suffer. The most serious signal was melancholy, slowness and lack of consciousness. Not depression, but something close to her. Apathy seized me: I did not understand what I was doing and why, I was reluctant to get out of bed, it was difficult to start something. I did not play sports for a very long time, and I smoked a lot - by that time, already twelve years old. It seems to be nothing special, but when you smoke a pack a day, you don’t play sports and you drink every other day, you can’t remember what you live for in the morning.
Most importantly, I could not positively answer the question of whether I am happy. Most of the time I felt bad, mentally and emotionally. Once, after a hectic birthday party, I realized that I wanted my life to look completely different. There was a picture in my head: I looked super healthy, with clear skin, a fit, athletic body. I could imagine doing yoga and wrestling every day; Perhaps I have children, and a supporting partner is next to me - and he is also healthy and athletic, obviously not a person who constantly thumps. In general, the picture in my dreams was about health, good ecology, living in a beautiful place with good food. And I realized that I would never find myself in it if I continued in the same spirit. That was four years ago.
I informed all my friends about my decision - and we still laugh, they remember how I called them “cattle” on emotions. I said that I no longer want to live like this, that I will no longer drink, smoke and eat meat. "And if you don’t want, lead your bestial life further, but I don’t want to live like this and stop communicating with you." Then no one took my statements seriously. At first it was difficult: I lacked experience, it was impossible to just take and give up alcohol, start playing sports, change my lifestyle. I began to shift the responsibility onto others - I said that it was they who were to blame for my drinking and smoking.
In the end, it helped, if I may say so, the disease: I lay there for several months with bronchitis and all this time I did not smoke or drink - and after my recovery I decided not to start. Soon after, she began to play sports with a trainer, the brother of my close friend. I went to the gym twice a week, and within a few months another life began. I felt happy, contented - and it only took something to add activity. The coach also made something like a psychologist: I told him about myself, he listened and gave advice. We can say that he pulled me out. I say "pulled out" because I understand that I have already crossed the line. My problem is lack of a sense of proportion, it is difficult for me to stop. I eat something tasty - I can overeat and then I feel bad. I can not smoke one cigarette and calm down - I start smoking one after another. And it was the same with alcohol - there were no brakes.
Now, for three years now, I almost do not drink and regularly go in for sports, and three months ago, after numerous attempts, I finally quit smoking. It had a great effect on my life: I became cheerful, it became much easier to wake up in the morning, the psychological state is now more stable - I used to get away from a single unpleasant event for a week, and now I have only half an hour to calm down after a tough conversation. And I also have a lot more free time. For the first time in my life I learned how to make a schedule, to understand when and what I want to do and how many hours I will give it. I am twenty-eight, and I am learning to plan the time that I finally have. To myself.
My problem is lack of a sense of proportion. I eat something tasty - I can overeat and then I feel bad. I can not smoke one cigarette and calm down - I start smoking one after another. And it was the same with alcohol - there were no brakes
I still haven’t decided finally how categorically I treat alcohol. Now I am very strict with myself. But in fact, during those drunken periods of life there were many interesting things: so many dances, incredible romantic walks, music. And I also love wine. This summer I spent a month and a half in Barcelona, and there sometimes drank a little while feeling good. I think a lot depends on the air, the climate, the quality of the food - on the journey I ate fresh vegetables and fruits, fish, good bread, good cheese. I traveled ten kilometers a day, swam and was completely happy. And there alcohol on the quality of life had no effect. If, say, I was invited to work on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea, then there I probably would have started drinking good wine in the evenings.
In Moscow, the opposite is true: cold winter, polluted air and no fresh vegetables. If you come to a bar, then it is difficult to get out of it, it is arranged as a trap. Recently she came to a wine bar to her friend's birthday party, but she did not want to drink: first she ate something, then ordered tea, asked to pour boiling water; then coffee, pizza, but I realized that I didn’t find a place for myself - everything was with wine, the whole situation was pushing for it. I came with absolute certainty that I would not drink, but in the end I ordered a glass. In general, the bars are better just not to go.
The last thing I want to say is that there is no point in talking about refusing alcohol. It is always a chain reaction, connection with something else. For example, you drink a lot, because you are not self-confident and you are trying to establish communication, or because you do not have a favorite activity - and so on. I not only gave up alcohol - I made a sport a part of my life, I quit my job I didn’t like, I learned web design courses, I went to learn Spanish. I changed different aspects of life - and I think that for most people, this is exactly what happens. Gradually, life is getting better, and you start to feel happy, happy and calm.
If you suspect alcohol abuse or developing dependence on it, you can contact any drug treatment clinic for free advice and treatment. In addition, there is a 24-hour federal hotline on drug addiction and alcohol addiction (8 800 700 50 50) and a hot line of the Healthy Russia project of the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation (8 800 200 0 200) - you can call free of charge. You can also contact the charity foundation "Bridge of Life".