Why boyfriends are not in a hurry to marry
Ekaterina Kamenskaya
Girls have long mastered all male roles and games, the boys also learned a lot from us, but we still expect us to be married, but for some reason they don’t call us - even after several years spent on a jointly acquired sofa. To explain this bestiality, we have in store for populist ideas about the responsibility that they fear and the freedom that they value. In general, the responsibility, taken voluntarily, turns men on, they only get stronger from her. As for freedom, any normal guy understands that one key to all locks does not fit, especially since we are all pink inside. But to marry, even if the girl is very suitable, is the last thing. “Well, I don’t drink out of unfamiliar bubbles,” Alice Lewis Carroll said. “Suddenly you’ve got the word“ poison ”behind you?”
"Why marry if we already live together?" - He asks when we start hinting at what would be good ... Why? The question is good, not offensive: he really has the right to know why you need it. We have the answer, but we don’t like it ourselves. Because in fact we have only one desire to get married - because it should be so, it would be nice, it is time, because we have been living together for five years. What for? For what purpose? "Well ... uh-uh ... with the goal of becoming a wife." So says the social stereotype: if you are not married, then you are no good for you, you have not been taken. Or another honest explanation: I’m afraid that if I get pregnant, you leave me alone and I’m left alone, and if we get married, then you ... uh-uh ... are not going anywhere. " but this is not the case. We are afraid to discover our true motives, men are also afraid. For their family life there is a much more serious danger than responsibility and loss of freedom, and they feel it perfectly, although they can not always verbalize. the husband once, allegedly as a joke, but with anxiety in his voice said: ishsya on you, and you will be in a robe standing at the stove and cook the meat. "" Wife, "" robe "and" meat "very accurately describes the image of family life that lives in our collective tag cloud.
Everyone knows that a husband should work, not change, play with children, not snore, play sports, not plump
How is a stamp in the passport able to trigger the mechanism of the terrible transformation of a goldfish into a saw fish, if this did not happen within several years of living together in the status of in relationship? Such is the pattern of the family matrix. Doesn’t he, tell me, please, make us go to the house in sports pants, and get to work or to a party like we used to have a date? We bring the beauty out of the house, and when we return, we leave it in the closet or wash it off in the sink. In marriage, there is no need to seduce and look after yourself, for now the husband, your legitimate attachment, is near now. In the mind of a man after marriage, this will become legitimate - and therefore inevitable. Entering into a relationship, the woman hopes that the man will change (he will no longer spread his socks and play in GTA all night), and the man - that she will never change (he will not stop joking wittily, discuss German philosophy after sex and wear lacy underwear). But marriage really changes us - and more often it spoils, than it does better. We do not have the current concept of family life, the positions of "husband" and "wife" do not have agreed job descriptions, and as a result we use behavioral patterns that were inherited from ancestors. Everyone knows that a husband should work, not change, play with children, not snore, play sports, not plump. Must - and that's it! No one will ask what he wants when it is allowed to demand something from him all the time. And who, tell me, voluntarily agree to this hell of hell? Hence the question "why?", To which, a man knows this, he will not hear a clear answer, and everything will remain as it is. It turns out, if you do not decide why you, specifically you need a family, not to discuss your mutual benefits, fears and hopes in advance, then family life will become one big difference in expectations. If, however, it turns out that your partner liked your plan and it complements his own - go ahead. Well, if the guy does not call for marriage, call him yourself - just first make sure that you both have no torn socks in the closet and you both have nothing to fear.
illustrations: Masha Shishova