How diabetes made me change my lifestyle
Last summer was intense: exams, diploma defense, difficult but interesting work, parties and love. My life at the age of 24 was filled with quite ordinary things. I did not notice how I lost ten kilograms in three months - or rather, I noticed, but it seemed to me that it was even cool. Thirst, fatigue, drowsiness - all of this I wrote off for work tasks, study, heat and summer movement with a couple of hours of sleep on a day off. I didn’t really worry until my friend very earnestly and seriously told me that I was painfully thin.
Then it was normal for me to drink three liters of water a day and wake up in the middle of the night to quench my thirst. Next to my bed was a bottle of mineral water, and for colleagues I was the "evangelist" of water balance. Mom sounded the alarm and insisted that I need to take tests, because it looked really painful. While waiting for her appointment, her mother suggested going to a neighbor, who has diabetes for a long time, to measure my sugar level, because the symptoms are too similar. I didn’t understand why I needed it, what’s the reason for diabetes and how my neighbor, who is 60 years old, will help me. But so that mom didn’t wind herself up, she agreed.
In the morning before work we went to the grandmother-neighbor and began fussy preparations for measuring sugar. I was disinfected with a finger, skillfully replaced a needle in a device similar to a pen, pierced a finger, diligently squeezed blood out of it and put some piece similar to an iPod that appeared like an iPod with a disposable plastic strip. The device began to count down the seconds, the figure 13 appeared on the screen. I cheerfully asked: "How much do you really need?", But I immediately realized that I was joking in vain, because my mother had already started sobbing. It turned out that the blood sugar level of a healthy person on an empty stomach should not exceed 5.5 mmol / l.
On this day, I went to work upset and told everything to the leader and team. According to the statements of my aunt, a former medic, as well as judging by the information from Google, I had to go to the hospital. The next day, I called an ambulance and the nurses, after measuring my pressure and blood sugar level, took me. I was ready for hospitalization, but I took everything as an adventure. It seemed that now they would make me a couple of droppers - and everything would pass. However, as I remember the smell of drugs, floor cloths, boiled cabbage and rising nausea.
The doctors had no doubt: diabetes. In the endocrinology department of the Minsk City Hospital, they did not stand on ceremony with me. In response to my inquiries about what was happening to me, I was given a printout of a book for children about diabetes and was recorded in the "School of Diabetes", which was located right there in the department. As it turned out, diabetes is a chronic disease. This means that I will be ill for a long time and it is impossible to recover, but there is a chance to achieve a stable remission. At the first lesson in school, it was terrible: I sat among people older than me in two or even three times. The most tactful ones simply looked with pity, while the rest openly said: "Poor girl, so young, and already sick." I wanted to get up and leave or start blaming everyone around. Unfortunately, today in clinics and online resources there is practically no talk of young patients.
According to WHO, about four million people die from diabetes every year: about the same as from HIV and viral hepatitis.
There are four types of diabetes. I have the first one: it is considered the most difficult and implies a lifelong insulin dependence. In diabetes, the sugar level can be both critically low and too high - almost never returns to normal. When sugar goes down, you need to raise it urgently (because I always have with me not only insulin, but also sugar candies). The mystery of the disease is also in the fact that it is not possible to fully understand the mechanisms of its occurrence. It is believed that heredity, autoimmune, vascular disorders, viral infections, mental and physical trauma are important in the development of the disease. As soon as the grandmothers from my ward discovered that I did not have diabetics in my family, they immediately attributed to me a psychotrauma on the basis of a broken heart.
The doctor said that the disease developed due to the insufficiency of the hormone insulin and that the tissues of my pancreas are replaced by fibrous, that is, they stop working, they become useless. At the same time, the organ itself, which is considered to be the site of the localization of the disease, as a rule, does not hurt: the legs, eyes, heart, and blood vessels hurt. According to the World Health Organization, about four million people die from diabetes every year: about the same as HIV and viral hepatitis. The statistics are terrifying: every year, diabetics around the world carry out about one million operations on amputation of the lower extremities, more than 600 thousand patients lose their sight completely, and many more kidneys stop working.
If they do not invent new medicines to fill insulin deficiency, I will have to make injections in my leg and abdomen all my life — about 4-6 times a day, after each meal and at night. During my stay in the clinic, I had to learn how to eat right, count bread units (the amount of carbohydrates per 100 grams of food), self-inject myself and fully control my condition to prevent death. When I realized the scale of the problem, I experienced animal fear, resentment, self-pity and shame. I cried from the feeling of absolute loneliness, but at the same time I already understood that the illness would serve as a kind of impetus: it would allow me to put an end to false goals, imaginary friends, unnecessary actions. I needed to learn how to live with it and take concrete steps every day to get rid of the overwhelming anxiety. In general, a strange combination of feelings of worthlessness and a complete reassessment of values.
In Belarus and Russia, the conditions for maintaining a normal state in diabetes are about the same. It is necessary to register at the endocrinology department, every 3-6 months to undergo a full examination, to pass a set of tests, thanks to which the doctor can correct the treatment, and every six months to stay in the hospital under the drip, which thin the blood and affect the general condition. On average, a month I spend about $ 100 on maintaining health and supplies for diabetic devices. I did not get insulin produced domestically, and I always buy imported (I get a recipe for it). Insulin is not sold everywhere, and in order not to wander around the city for a long time, I check on special sites if there is any medicine in the nearest pharmacies. In general, diabetes occurs relatively well only in self-organized patients. For example, you need to keep a food diary: write down every day what you eat and how much insulin you enter so that the doctor can understand what the complications depend on.
My life before diabetes did not differ discipline, rules and restrictions. I enjoyed every day and moment to the maximum. But now, albeit a negative one, but the stimulus is my illness, with which you will not miss. In diabetes, a plan is important: you need to turn all indications into healthy habits. I began to have breakfast, eat small meals six times a day, regularly go to the gym, take vitamins, sleep for at least eight hours. It would seem that there is upset, because it is a healthy lifestyle in its purest form. But in the case of diabetes, any deviation from the rules can be fatal. My life began to seem fresh to me, like buckwheat on water and boiled chicken that I ate every day.
My biggest misconception was that I couldn’t eat only sweet things, but in fact the blood sugar level rises not only from sweets or condensed milk. To keep it under control, I try to monitor the consumption of products containing simple carbohydrates: these are any confectionery, buns, potatoes, fruits, dairy products with a fat content higher than 5%. In addition, I do not eat smoked and fatty. Dessert wines and cocktails are strictly prohibited, but dry wines are possible. Some beers do not increase blood sugar, while others increase, and this can only be verified by experiment, with a glucometer, so it’s best not to risk it. In alcoholic beverages with a strength of 38 degrees and above, carbohydrates, as a rule, are not enough to raise the level of sugar. If you drink alcohol during a meal, it may even lower sugar, but you shouldn’t rejoice at this effect: this happens because alcohol partially paralyzes the liver, and it loses its ability to convert proteins into glucose.
Diabetes is about moderation in everything, about a constant mode of energy conservation. This is about the importance of self-love and an understanding of the connection between body and spirit.
In the first six months of my illness, I made a mistake and decided to completely eliminate carbohydrates from my diet, and at parties in the bar I chose only vodka with ice. For some reason, I thought that if there were no carbohydrates on the menu, and vodka replaced the wine, the problem would go away and I would not need to prick insulin. As a result, I went to the hospital with ketoacidosis, a violation of carbohydrate metabolism, which can lead to coma. For more than half a year, I don’t drink alcohol at all to check whether the condition of my body will change and to avoid negative consequences.
Diabetics are required to play sports, but the main thing here is not to overdo it, because excessive cardiovascularization lowers sugar and can lead to hypoglycemia. It is dangerous in the short term: a critically low level of sugar can lead to momentary coma. Exercise can cause the opposite state - hyperglycemia. It is harmful in the long term: it also causes ketoacidosis and to whom, just later, and also leads to disruption of brain cells, weight loss, problems with joints, and diseases of the endocrine system. All these features, to put it mildly, limit the choice of sports programs. I spent a lot of time and effort searching for a coach, and now I spend about $ 200 a month to maintain physical fitness. At the same time, the beauty industry closed some doors in front of me: for example, laser hair removal, plastics, or dental implants are not available to me right now. From mandatory care - pedicure: I do not advise anyone to google, as a diabetic foot might look like.
With the advent of diabetes, my travel has become somewhat complicated. Now I don’t make myself cheap air routes with transfers because it’s energy-consuming, and my friends joke that my life has become more elite with diabetes. Driving a car for long distances is accompanied by frequent stops: it must be possible to walk so that the knee joints do not hurt. With me is always my certificate of a diabetic, which indicates permission for the transport of insulin. I take a blood glucose meter and a couple of recipes with me in case I need to purchase insulin, spare syringes and needles, as well as diet food in lunch boxes.
Do not forget about the moral side of the issue: any unrest leads to fluctuations in sugar levels. From the very beginning, the relationship with my mother was very difficult, because my illness was a big blow for her, and it turned out that she needed more support. Every day my mother came to my hospital, sat on the edge of the bed and cried, repeating the same phrase: "You will no longer be the same. Your life has changed forever." I was perfectly aware of this, but I did not want to hear such words from the closest person. I tried to just ignore it, but it was not always possible. Unfortunately, I broke off and found myself in a vicious circle of raising and lowering sugar. Now my mother and I do not live together, but every day she is interested in my condition and what I ate. This is pleasant, although it seems to be hyperopic.
At first, I did not want to tell anyone that I was ill: it seemed that it was embarrassing. I thought that everyone would feel sorry for me that people would begin to perceive my actions and words through the prism of illness, that I would cease to be attractive and sexy. It may not be nice for someone to see a girl that you like squeeze the blood out of her finger, and then she pushes the medicine when she instantly gets tired at the parties, gets very tired on weekdays and can drop out of life for a couple of days because feeling unwell. But once I had a frank conversation with a friend, who logically and intelligibly explained that there was nothing shameful in my state.
I began to warn colleagues and acquaintances about my illness so that they would not have a shock when I frantically start eating candies at a meeting or suddenly give myself a shot in the stomach before dinner. Now my interlocutors do not even notice that I am making some kind of manipulation, and my friends have stopped paying attention to my features at all (moreover, the friends have already clearly distinguished my states and know how to come to the rescue - thanks to them). In a new company, talking about diabetes is like mentioning that you're a vegan. Immediately there are questions: "How long ago? And what are you eating? And what does it affect?". When the disease had just begun, I was embarrassed to answer these questions, then it made me angry, and now I am even surprised when I do not hear such questions.
Diabetes is about moderation in everything, about a constant mode of energy conservation. About the fact that you can’t keep everything to yourself, but you need to talk and find any available means for this - with the help of friends, blogs, psychotherapists. This is about the importance of self-love and an understanding of the connection between body and spirit. Pro daily struggle through the search for balance. By and large, these are universal human tests: as you know, all this is not easy, and it is a pity that this is not taught in school. Over this year, a lot of changes have occurred to me. I had to cut my hair because they began to fall out, I began to eat meat, although I had been a vegetarian for three years. I changed jobs, moved to another city. Many people naturally left my life, and some I hurt or hurt in search of the very emotional balance, for which I apologize. Now I really love and appreciate those who have been with me since the first minute and help me fight every day. I can not say that I won diabetes, but I try to live with him in the world. I hope that there will be many more days, but our relationship will someday end.
