Director Elena Pogrebizhskaya about career changes and neuroses
IN RUBRIC "BUSINESS" We acquaint readers with women of different professions and hobbies that we like or are simply interested in. This time we spoke with Elena Pogrebizhskaya, a director of documentary films, and in the past - a TV journalist and singer, the leader of the group Butch. Pogrebizhskaya made a lot of documentaries - including the story of Dr. Liza, and now she is working on the “My Neurosis” cycle, designed to honestly tell you about mental features.
About rock and roll and documentary
All the changes in my career are going on impulsively: I finish some things and start new ones very quickly. It happened with the transition from music to documentary films. My previous career did not allow me to realize myself completely: the music was born out of a craving for publicity, a desire to be in the center of attention, to sing and lead a rock and roll life. But this is not all of me - most of it remained behind the scenes. My intellect, for example, was not involved at all.
When it became clear that I would no longer engage in music, I had to urgently figure out what to buy for myself, clothes, feed the dogs and drive from point A to point B. The decision was a documentary. In fact, this is a kind of continuation of my work as a television journalist, which was before the music. The form may change: reports, documentaries, game films - but I always feel compelled to make or write scripts.
Even during a musical career, I shot documentaries ("Anyway, I'll get up" about the musicians Svetlana Surganova, Umka, Irina Bogushevskaya. -Note ed). Then there was a period of cooperation with Ren TV and Channel 5.
These were good times: we and the producers understood each other perfectly. I can not even call it work on order - it was a pure embodiment of my ideas; movies were shown on TV, and everyone was happy. During this period, the Blood Vendor, Doctor Lisa, Post Traumatic Syndrome and Panic Attacks were filmed. Then, unfortunately, this relationship ended.
Then I decided to start my own independent documentary studio "Partizanets". It was the year of 2011 or 2012, just when we started making the film “Mom, I Will Kill You” - about the inmates of the orphanage. Studio "Partizanets" is a movie that we make only of our own accord so that people can see our stories. So, all the films are available on YouTube for free.
About love and hate for the audience
When I studied music, I did not feel connected with the people who chose me: in front of me there was an incredibly distant crowd - and it just killed. It’s probably tolerable to look at drunken teenagers once, but it’s painful to understand that this is your target audience. In documentary films, everything is different: I make films that reach exactly those people who will understand and love them. They are spectators of different ages, gender, marital status, and I have no questions for them - I respect and appreciate everyone who watches my work.
My task as a director is to create an emotional response in a person: he either learned more, felt more, or felt sympathy. What he will do about it is his own business. In my opinion, this is called the formation of an active life position - having appeared, it will definitely lead a person somewhere.
Man against the colossus
I choose the themes for the films instinctively: that which will attract me, I will shoot. They can be completely different: we filmed in a boarding school and in a colony, we filmed neuroses, we filmed a doctor and a man dying of cancer, we filmed a writer - which we just did not film. In any case, I am guided only by my desire.
At the same time, there is a recurring motive: I am attracted to the plot, in which a person tries to overcome a huge colossus. This colossus can be a state, injustice, law, illness, indifference — sometimes it is possible to overcome it, sometimes it is not. For example, in the film “Vaska,” the lad tried to cope with a huge injustice, with the state system, which decided everything for him and shoved him almost in an insane asylum for the rest of his life. And he took and managed, achieved what he wanted. When we shot “The Blood Seller”, I was fascinated how a person does not want to die from cancer, how exactly at that moment he becomes a writer, begins to seek recognition - does not want to surrender.
I am attracted to singles - one on one with something huge. In this case, I do not set myself the task of helping my heroes. It’s wrong to interfere with events. We just shoot a human life and do not climb into it, because it attracted us exactly the way it is. The man himself understands it - this is his life, not mine.
My neurosis
Now I am working on the cycle of popular science films "My Neurosis". "Neurosis" is not quite the correct name, but I still do not have the correct option. In fact, this is a cycle about various psychological difficulties - everything about what it would be worth going to a psychotherapist. The first work "Thin and fat" is devoted to eating disorders.
When I start making some educational film, it suddenly turns out that most of the stereotypes with which we live are wrong. For example, it seemed to me that anorexia exists only in the West, that it is a disease of models that have exhausted themselves to meet the standards. And someone thinks that overweight people are just lazy and just eat too much. All this is completely wrong. For example, back in the movie "Post-Traumatic Syndrome" I met a woman with overweight - a consequence of the fact that she was raped in childhood. This, by the way, is a very common reason. That is why it is worth explaining that everything is much more complicated. That if in your family there is a person who refuses to eat, do not dare to put pressure on him - this will not help, but only turn him against you. Let's try to understand it. And do not insult a person with excess weight, because there are reasons for that.
When people watch my movie, they write very personal reviews. For example, one girl said that she finally understood her sister: she called after the film, talked to her, met. I was terribly pleased that the sister, who did not understand, finally heard the right words - words of encouragement, not insults and pressure.
About panic attacks
The topic of psychological problems is not alien to me. Year in 2004, I was faced with panic attacks. This is an altered state, which is difficult to describe in words: everything starts to buzz a little, as if you are sitting behind some wall and you cannot connect with your feelings. To say that it is fear, I can not - it would be too obvious and understandable. This is just a terribly unpleasant condition. And it developed. Then a shiver joined him. I remember sitting at the reception at the therapist about the flu, and it really shakes me. You need to understand that this is almost a disability. I was scared to leave the house, ride the subway, pass bridges and tunnels. I have two years of my life at home, except for concerts.
Since it was 2004 or 2005 and there was no talk about psychological diseases in the pop cultural field, I tried everything: prayer forty days (despite the fact that I am an atheist, but, as they say in one Jewish joke, "it will not hurt") shamans and women with esoteric abilities. Nothing helped. Then I went through a complete medical examination, but everything turned out to be normal. Only after that I got to a psychiatrist, who explained that I had panic attacks. Then the task was to find a specialist, because in practice they are perfectly cured with the help of psychotherapy - mine passed six months later.
I remember, there was a moment when I told my psychotherapist: "Mash, why do I have panic attacks?" She then told me: "Lena, what would you choose: a stomach ulcer, a heart attack ..." I immediately replied: "No, good. Let there be panic attacks." This, in general, is not the worst. Of course, it is good to be an absolutely healthy astronaut, but I must say that we still have the majority with something. Who has a headache, who has a stuffy nose, who has an allergy, who has panic attacks. Well, what can you do?
About future plans
Now I have a plan: to release the "Case of Andreeva" (the story of the athlete Tatiana Andreeva, convicted of murder. - Approx. Ed.),which we have been doing for three years and almost finished, and shoot the next film from the cycle “My neurosis” - “Survive the loss”. And then I really want to pause. For me it is a lot - I give out films too often. And I want, like all people, to walk with their feet, to walk - but all the time I sit and write or sit and edit, because I need to finish films.