Lukizm - not a terrible word: Why is it time to stop condemning appearance
In 2018, the ideas of bodypositive (well, or at least the word itself) is widely known to everyone - not everyone shares them, but the thought of the dangers of beauty standards and attempts to drive people under a single pattern sounds more and more often. Nevertheless, the habit of discussing someone else's appearance has not disappeared anywhere - just like the traditional response aggression: "Look at yourself." This is well illustrated by the events of the past week: the other day Zemfira wrote a post in which she criticized the singers Grechku and Coin - probably in response to an interview in which Coin said she considers Grechku "much cooler [Zemfira]". The matter would not have gone beyond the "shop" if it related only to professional qualities - but the singer noted that Buckwheat had "terrible voice and appearance" ("it is difficult to perceive - she does not know how, texts do not convince, well, very ugly") and Coin "looks normal in contrast to buckwheat. but the voice is disgusting" (hereafter, the author's spelling and punctuation are preserved. - Approx. ed.). The post expectedly provoked a wave of discussion and indignation: while some said that appearance was not the main thing for the performers, and they accused Zemfira of lukizme, others were quick to note that she had the right to "openly express her opinion", while others recalled that the singer herself was far from glossy standards.
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Amu Zemfira is constantly being discussed in exactly the same way: that she looks like something “wrong”, she hears from the very beginning of her career. At the same time, the singer has always made it clear that she is against superficial assessments - this is noticeable both in early interviews and in open letter.
to fans of six years ago: “Someone will say“ this is criticism, ”but this is not criticism, this is rudeness. No one can say to me in person what he allows himself in the network. His thoughts on body shape, dress and behavior are such personal allowed only to close ones. It's so tactless. "
At the same time, glossy publications continue to scold the singer for allegedly unwashed hair, regrown roots, "extra" kilograms, lack of makeup and dislike for bright colors. It seems that over the years Zemfira began to consider this an inevitable part of the profession: in the last post, based on the history of buckwheat and Coin, she said that "she experienced the same things as these" children ". Something is inevitable. Otherwise, in your own words "Sing for yourself in the kitchen" ".
Of course, we can hardly refuse to consider something as "beautiful" or "ugly" - and there is nothing wrong with that, as long as our ideas about the beautiful do not violate foreign borders. There is a huge gap between personal tastes and the imposition of another’s own vision of the world: it’s one thing to choose partners that we like outwardly, and quite another to make a person fit into our ideals or scold him for discrepancy. First of all, it is important to understand what impulse is behind our desire to speak out about the other person. What are we trying to achieve? Will the quality of our own life change if someone follows the recommendations and stops wearing tight clothes because it does not fit into the standard model parameters? Do not forget that beauty is always subjective (there is no certain type that everyone will like without exception) and that even in those professions where a lot of things are connected with appearance, it will never be the only criterion: for musicians and performers, vocal and the ability to stay on stage, for the actors - courage and charisma, for models - the ability to work on the camera and interpret the idea of the frame.
Psychologist Yana Shagova notes: in Russian society, the idea is strong that when a person is “honestly” indicated that, in the opinion of others, a disadvantage is mature behavior, although in reality everything is different. According to the expert, in our culture it is not customary to distinguish between the mature expression of feelings and response, that is, the habit of “splashing out” emotions without thinking about them and working them out. “And the processing of feelings, which is just a mature reaction, looks like this. First, a person notes:“ I experience poorly controlled rage, ”“ This person annoys me wildly and the way he looks, ”“ I feel very anxious, ”writes Yana Shagova. - Then he thinks: “Why? What exactly is causing me anxiety, rage or irritation?” It is only by the results of this reflection that he is given a thought, is it really worth it to voice these feelings, and if so, then why? To achieve this? Will it achieve? And in what form then it is with toit to do? "
If it seems to you that the notorious "meet on clothes" is not so scary, just read the research data. For example, one experiment showed that workers who are considered more attractive are willing to pay more. This is partly because employers consider them more competent, partly because they are more self-confident and have better developed communication skills. The latter can also be associated with appearance: people who are considered beautiful can be easier to communicate with others. Sociologists Markus Mobius and Tanya Rosenblat found that employees who are considered attractive are willing to pay 12-13 percent more, regardless of gender. Another study shows that "beautiful" defendants receive a milder punishment or may be more likely to be pardoned. To see what the dictates of appearance, brought to the absolute, leads to, it is not necessary to study dystopias - just look at South Korea, where strict standards of beauty reign, so severe that appearance is used as a tool in the competitive struggle for hiring along with professional skills. Plastic surgery is incredibly common in the country, and operations not only require solid investments, but can also be fraught with serious complications.
When the discussion comes to a standstill, it is customary to turn to biology: is it not “natural” to consider, discuss and condemn someone else's appearance? However, the usual standards of beauty are not always explained by our nature and are often associated with social attitudes. For example, in many countries, light skin tones are considered more attractive, although for people with fair skin, the risk of developing melanoma is higher - the notorious “biology” did not work here. Another example: it is believed that we are attracted to more symmetrical faces, but scientists have not yet been able to find evidence in the field of medicine - research shows that there is no connection between the symmetry of the traits and health. And even if we turn to the last frontier, the notions of the “beautiful” associated with the fertility of a potential partner, as is the case with animals, it is not clear why it is worth sacrificing respect for the boundaries of others around such a biologically determined behavior.
In many other areas, we have successfully learned to control impulses that, it would seem, should prevail: we do not steal food, no matter how hungry we are (although we should seek it at any cost), do not fight when we don’t like what the interviewee said , and do not kill neighbors in conflicts - although until recently our ancestors did something like this. So why in the case of appearance so want to explain it by nature? What is this, if not a “convenient” explanation of the existing order and unwillingness to understand what is really behind it? You can start small: every time you want to let go of a comment and tell others what they should look like, find out what lies behind these emotions - it always says more about us than about those we would like to discuss.
Images: Alexey Vorobiev - stock.adobe.com