New sex: How equality has changed our views on pleasure
Sex does not stand still: the range of adult shops is becoming more and more high-tech, porn has partially moved to virtual reality, and sex robots are gaining more and more popularity not only in apartments, but also in brothels. At the same time, technology only partly expands our capabilities, far less than, for example, equality. We understand how emancipation influenced our sexuality and ideas about the "right" sex.
Penis is no longer needed
“Every act of penetration means an invasion for a woman, which undermines self-confidence and exhausts her strength,” is written in the manifesto of the revolutionary feminist group Leeds, which appeared in the 1970s. According to activists, penetrating sex is the colonization of an oppressed female body by a man. So a woman is simultaneously punished and controlled. Some radical feminists still adhere to the concept of penetration as rape and evidence of power.
It sounds rather sharply, but the question itself is not devoid of common sense. For many centuries, patriarchal culture has supported the idea of coitus exclusively as penetrating sex between a man and a woman. Since the end of the 20th century, the situation has begun to change, not only because of radical feminism, but also the growth of tolerance towards LGBT people.
Scientific discoveries about the nature of the female orgasm were also of great importance. Sigmund Freud's monopolized knowledge of sex considered the clitoral orgasm to be infantile (simply adolescent), whereas only adults were called “vaginal”. And women who could not reach it were considered inferior.
Modern sexology has long recognized: to say that the absence of a vaginal orgasm - a pathology, it is impossible, on the contrary, it is rather the exception. On average, about 25% of women experience a vaginal orgasm, whereas the clitoral is available to almost everyone. Only in 1998, scientists sufficiently studied the structure of the female body and found that no separation exists. For the orgasm in any case meets the clitoris, which is not limited to the outer tubercle - most of it is inside the female body. Its features allow women to experience different sensations from penetration and to receive or not to receive an orgasm.
Obviously, in the light of such news, penetration ceases to be a universal means of satisfying both partners. Moreover, it is discredited by opinion polls. A joint study of three American universities with the participation of 52 thousand respondents showed that among homosexual women 86% of respondents regularly have an orgasm, while among heterosexual women this figure is only 66%. This is largely due to the fixation on penetration in heterosexual couples.
And anal sex too
Anal sex for women at the dawn of the sexual revolution was perceived as a sign of new openness. Hundreds of articles on sites like Cosmopolitan told how to approach it and not regret it. All these texts sounded exclusively in the sexist positivist manner and stimulated the readiness of women to try a new sexual practice.
But even more important is how anal sex became part of pornography. The "anal sex" category on Pornhub has become the most viewed in many countries by a wide margin, including in Russia. In general, the growing popularity of pornography makes anal sex be perceived as something as easy as oral sex or petting. While anal sex can be much more dangerous to health, if you do not comply with safety techniques.
“Being a cool girl means staying sexy, successful, funny woman who loves football, poker, black humor, belching at the table. A cool girl plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex and even sexually eats hot dogs and hamburgers, "- said the main character of the film" Vanished ", affecting the problems of relations between men and women. Being ready for anal penetration in such a context becomes an inevitable part of the image of a bold girl who loves sex.
In addition, anal stimulation does not always involve penetration of the penis: you can completely do sex toys, fingers or tongue
So far, there has been little movement in the destruction of this stereotype, but the topic of possible health problems associated with anal sex and the pressure from men have been raised. It is obvious that women do not have a prostate - the organ directly responsible for pleasure during anal penetration, therefore this type of sex is definitely not suitable for everyone, and it is wrong to present it as one of the standard sexual practices.
Not so long ago, Teen Vogue (a magazine that is obviously designed for teenage girls) released a guide to anal sex. The article provoked a strong reaction from women, who considered that sex positivism in this case was out of control. “By referring to vaginal and anal sex as identical practices, we increase the chances that the audience will not understand the potential danger and harm either themselves or their partner,” wrote Ji Barnes in The Independent. In general, to the greatly increased popularity of anal sex now many complaints: feminists accuse him of the fact that heterosexual men tend to act in an active position in anal sex and do not think about what a woman feels at that moment.
However, forgetting about the voluntary and coordinated choice of couples is also not worth it. In addition, anal stimulation does not always involve penetration of the penis: for security reasons, you can completely do sex toys, fingers or tongue, no one forces you to use pornodirektivov, which are not combined with the current state of affairs.
Man below
We have already written about pegging - sexual practice, in which, during anal penetration, a woman enters a man with a strap-on. Of course, pegging beats on traditional notions of masculinity and causes an association with homosexual sex in a passive position, which for centuries was considered unworthy of a real man.
Nevertheless, science is moving forward, and now everyone knows about male orgasms associated with prostate stimulation, and gradually this practice is becoming more and more popular. The sex shops expand the assortment of strap-ons, Cosmopolitan releases a list of the best postures for pegging, and Western columnists one after another describe the experience of anal sex in the top position. But pegging is important not only in terms of expanding the boundaries of pleasure - it helps to seriously rethink the rapidly changing gender roles.
In a world where sex behavior was clearly fixed to sex, pegging often made women and men feel strange, as Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzyan write in their book The Ultimate Prostate Guide: Erotic Discoveries for Men and Their Partners. Men, realizing that they enjoy anal stimulation, can feel the crisis of their masculinity and face the need to rethink their behavior in bed. At the same time, heterosexual women, even reflective and formally progressive, are often asked by quite archaic questions: "If he likes it, then he is gay?", "Can I respect him after peggings?".
According to Glikman, pegging became a real revolution in heterosexual sex and opened up a unique opportunity for men and women to feel empathy for their partners. "For a man, sex traditionally occurs as if outside of his body, while penetration helps to feel greater closeness," said Glikman. In turn, for women, pegging becomes an opportunity to understand what it means to be in an active position, that is, with what responsibility - for the comfort and safety of a partner - a person encounters who is penetrating.
Conscious BDSM
If pegging itself does not imply submission - in most cases, partners operate within conventional sex, they simply change functions, then female domination, or, as it is also called, femdom, is built on the ideology that the man completely refuses privileges, although would be at the time of sexual intercourse.
There are many types of female domination - from straponess and footfetish domination to financial domination and Cukolda. You can choose your practice to your liking, but they are all tied to the desire of men to switch gender roles, and the popularity of female domination begins in the 60s, on the eve of the Western sexual revolution.
Femdom ideally designed to destroy the idea of the ultimatum-dominant nature of men. But even the dominatrix remains a relative rarity for BDSM culture. According to one of the Danish studies, three-quarters of women define themselves as submissives, that is, they follow the usual gender role that requires submission to men from them.
Gender researchers urge to be critical even to those things that bring us pleasure
Liberal feminists believe that being a submissive is a woman’s personal choice and no one has the right to forbid her to go under the whip. Writes about this journalist Megan Karpintier in his column on Jezebel, in which he admits that she used to feel guilty for the community because of her preferences. In the same vein, another author, Jessica Wakeman, speaks about the contradiction between the commitment to BDSM and the identity of a feminist. Of course, politicizing personal life is a choice of especially consistent activists, and shame in front of an imaginary community should not interfere with pleasure.
Yet the patriarchal nature of BDSM began to be criticized in the 1970s. So, researcher Kathleen Barry in her book “Female Sexual Slavery” calls BDSM violence against a woman, and her colleague Jocelyn Borishka in her book “Suspected Citizens” insists that submission remains toxic even when practiced by lesbian couples. Gender researchers call for critical attitude even to those things that bring us pleasure. Brianna Fas, author of the book "Having Sex," for example, follows the formula that personal is political and suggests considering personal desires through the prism of history and social constructs, such as the tradition of female submission.
The fact that society has become much more critical of BDSM is evidenced by at least an active discussion of the book “Fifty shades of gray”, in which many critics and journalists saw not just a romantic story with fetish elements, but a frank message and coercion. Now we think twice before becoming part of the “theme”: firstly, about banal security, secondly, about the nature and truth of this desire.
Outrageous behavior
In 2015, Canadian researchers found that girls get oral sex twice as often and provide men to them twice as often. However, the attitude to cunnilingus is changing rapidly. If earlier it seemed to be an exclusively female duty (for someone unpleasant), now the media is full of headlines in the spirit of “It is time to overcome gender inequality in oral sex,” “How does inequality manifest itself in bed?” about the reasons for such outrageous behavior. The new consensus is that women should get as much oral sex as men do, and Men's Health magazine has produced almost a hundred cunnilingus guides. It is still far to reasonable equality, but the good news is that women are learning not to be ashamed of pleasure, and the sex toy market is offering more and more models that imitate cunnilingus.
Right to yourself
For many centuries, masturbation remained a taboo practice because of religious precepts, especially for women, whose sexuality was shamed much more than men's. But since masturbation became part of the gender agenda, women not only began to pay more attention to their bodies, but also felt liberated.
In one of the 2013 US polls, researcher Christine Bauman found out that 91% of young girls she interviewed do not feel ashamed because of masturbation, and most of them said they feel freer because they understand how to manage their own body through this practice. . Female masturbation has even become a full-fledged part of pop culture - Beyonce and Nicki Minaj talk about her in the track with the saying name "Feeling Myself", and also sings and shows Miley Cyrus in the video for the song "Adore You".
Feminism is often blamed for anti-sexuality, but it is obvious that everything is more complicated. A discussion and even a critical look at traditional sexual practices is just a reason to reflect on our true desires in bed.
Photo: reshoot - stock.adobe.com, Nataliia Pyzhova - stock.adobe.com, dmitriykazitsin - stock.adobe.com, DenisNata - stock.adobe.com
