Checklist: 9 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Olga Lukinskaya
Look at their own relationships with sometimes it does not interfere - sometimes a person does not realize that he is regularly exposed, for example, to emotional violence. On the other hand, some cooling in relation to each other does not necessarily indicate problems in the couple - we have already said that as the attachment is formed, the amount of sex may decrease. There are nine criteria in our checklist that will help you make sure that you are in a completely healthy relationship, or to think about whether it’s time to change something.
1
You trust each other
It is not only about the absence of secrets from each other, but also about trust in decision making. If both partners put the interests of the couple or family first, there is no doubt that no matter what decision everyone makes, it will be favorable for everyone. If a person in a healthy relationship is offered a job in another country, he will not give an answer without discussing the situation with a partner. If you do not manage to solve anything or, on the contrary, you are trying to control every little thing - it seems there are problems with trust.
The elementary trust is also important - in terms of keys to the house or access to computers. It is not necessary to create one Facebook account for two or scatter passwords from iPhones - after all, everyone has the right to privacy. But still, in an atmosphere of trust, you can safely ask your partner to get something out of your bag or wallet and you don’t hide your phone in fear that he will see the message on the screen.
2
Interest mismatch is not a problem
It is not necessary to be together around the clock and dissolve in each other to be a good couple. It's great when there are common interests, but this is not at all the most important thing in a relationship. Of course, in order to spend more time together, you can try to entice your partner with what you are interested in - or, conversely, try to get involved in his favorite activities.
Nevertheless, it’s perfectly normal if you like different music, different TV shows, and while traveling you prefer to lie on the beach while your partner goes to museums or shops - or vice versa. It is much more important to coincide in views on fundamental issues.
3
You calmly spend time separately
This item complements the previous one: different interests may mean, for example, a different social circle. If you are always more interesting without a partner, you should think. But in a healthy relationship, there is no jealousy or suspicion if someone occasionally spends the evening with his friends, goes on a trip, or often happens on business trips. It’s one thing to miss each other and rather want to see each other, quite another to suffer suspicions that your partner is cheating on you when you travel.
Trust and timely communication are key factors in a healthy relationship. A disconnected phone can be explained by a dead battery, and the fact that a person does not respond to messages is due to his keen conversation with friends. In order not to worry in vain, it is worth agreeing that you are warning each other about delays or changing plans, and do not disappear in silence.
4
You agree on important issues.
At the initial stage of relations, many are embarrassed to discuss topics such as budget, children, religious or ethical values - but in vain, because the further, the more they come to the fore. If one person in a pair wants to have children and for some reason he was convinced that the second one too, but this was never discussed, there will be a problem when it turns out that the partner is set to childfree format.
Principal issues are best discussed at the beginning of a relationship. Answers to them will help to understand how to perceive these relationships and whether it is worth engaging in them at all. It may sound cynical, but in a marriage where the things of principle are looked at differently, it is likely that someone will be unhappy.
5
Conflicts are resolved by discussion.
And once again - communication for a healthy relationship is very important. Not everything is always cloudless; Conflict may occur for serious reasons, and because of the accumulation of trifle irritation. Healthy relationships are not necessarily conflict-free - it is important that the problems that have arisen are discussed, and the findings help the situation to not happen again.
If everyone is aware of the value of relationships and wants to continue and develop them, then conflicts will be perceived as moments for reflection, discussion, and learning useful lessons. You should not save offenses to once remember them to each other - directly explain what does not suit you, and decide how you can improve the situation.
6
Sex always happens with consent
In a healthy relationship, there is no place for violence — physical, emotional, financial, or sexual. To realize that relations are abusive is not always easy - especially considering the installation on “marital debt” and the conviction driven in from childhood that a man should not be denied. However, if sex happens from time to time against your desire, it is worth thinking that you are being abused and asking for help.
However, a woman does not always suffer from violence - although this is indeed the case more often. A healthy relationship to sex in a couple is the realization that both do not always want each other at the same time, and a willingness to quietly accept rejection. If it seems to you that the partner's interest in sex has decreased, it is better to calmly discuss the situation - but the pressure on him in this case will be a manifestation of violence.
7
You laugh together
In a healthy relationship, you can openly show emotions, communication with each other causes joy, and partner's ideas - enthusiasm. You are pleased to see each other, and the conversation often gives pleasant feelings - this is a good sign. Episodic irritation or fatigue and the desire to be alone are also normal situations that do not poison relationships or friendship globally.
When after work you don’t pull at all to your partner, and every step towards home becomes slower, it’s time to think about the problem. If you are afraid to say something wrong all the time and are accustomed to expect an inadequate reaction, it is quite likely that you are experiencing emotional abuse.
8
For the happiness in the pair meet both
The toxic idea that a woman should provide an atmosphere of love and comfort in relationships has ruined the lives of quite a few people. Such beliefs lead to a situation where a man does not exert emotional efforts and does not work on relationships, and a woman feels guilty for not cope. Of course, this can also occur with reverse gender distribution or in same-sex couples.
In a healthy relationship, everyone understands that a partner is not a source that guarantees happiness and well-being. Partners need each other for support and help, but each is responsible for his own happiness - again, taking into account the interests of both.
9
You are not trying to remake each other
If a person wants to get rid of some habit or acquire a new one and he needs help, he will most likely report it. Attempts to remake a partner who did not ask for it usually do not lead to a good result, at the same time worsening the relationship.
We again speak of respect, trust and communication: the partner is not the “second half”, but an independent person who has the right to his own interests, desires and habits. In the end, the ability to accept the fact that on some point you have different opinions, is also a characteristic of healthy relationships.
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