The “ideal” victim: Why the demands are not made to the rapists
Text: Anna Sakharova, Alexandra Savina
We have already talked about victim lambing and violence culture. - but recent events show that this conversation is far from over. Yesterday, Channel One showed the final release of the Let the Talk program, dedicated to Diana Shurygina. In April last year, a 17-year-old girl accused 21-year-old Sergei Semenov of rape. The girl admitted that she drank alcohol, and said that Semyonov applied physical force to her. The court found Sergei guilty and sentenced him to eight years in a strict regime colony; later sentence reduced to three years.
After the Let the Speak program, opinions on the situation were divided: some support the girl, but many more people consider the court decision unfair, and Semenov the innocent: more than 250 thousand people signed the petition in support of the young man. Diana Shurygina herself was harassed in social networks and became the object of memes. Other victims of violence, whose stories have become public, such as Anna Shatova and Irina Sycheva, face a similar attitude. The girls were harassed, they were threatened in social networks, they were harassed, mocked.
According to statistics from the Sisters Center, only 12% of women who have experienced rape go to the police - and only 5% of cases eventually go to court. To prove the fact of rape, the victim must undergo a medical examination, where she is forced to describe in detail everything that happened, and again recall the traumatic experience. Then she often faces a condemnation of her acquaintances — classmates, colleagues, neighbors — and if people deal with the matter publicly, as in the case of Diana Shurygina, then the residents of the country also express their opinions.
The subject of rape is still surrounded by a multitude of stereotypes: only a stranger who attacks a woman in a “dark alley with a knife” can be a rapist in the eyes of society, although, according to statistics, in 65% of cases, the rapists are familiar victims. Stereotypes relate to how victims of violence supposedly should behave: they should be modest, depressed, outwardly innocent, and hard to publicly experience what happened to them. The testimony of those who do not fit into this image is questioned: “Is this a victim? Something does not look like,” “She probably provoked it himself” - and so on.
For some reason, the role of the rapist becomes secondary, and the victim himself has to prove his innocence
If a girl does not meet the "standard" of the victim and the way they want to see her, others often think that she is lying - or, at least, she’s keeping back. Often, victims are discussed as if they themselves are criminals: they are interrogated with passion, without regard for the fact that they already feel vulnerable and that to recall everything they have experienced means to traumatize their psyche again. In this case, the rapist's state of mind is often more reverent: the common belief that mercenary women want to "break the life of a good man" or that the girl agreed to sex voluntarily comes into play, but then "changed her mind" and went to the police.
It turns out an absurd situation: for some reason, the role of the rapist becomes secondary, and the innocence has to be proven the victim itself. And although the percentage of false accusations of rape is extremely small, compromising videos, photographs and facts are more often sought for the victim, and the perpetrator’s identity and biography are left out.
Victims of violence are most often charged with the same charges - for example, that if they used alcohol in a company, they themselves are to blame for what happened. Women allegedly must constantly monitor their condition, behave more cautiously and be alert - that is, comply with certain "safety techniques", otherwise they will become an easy victim for the perpetrator. This creates the impression that women are in a hostile environment, and men are waiting for the first opportunity to take advantage of their moment of weakness. If we bring this opinion to a logical conclusion, then it turns out that men, in principle, are not able to control themselves - and therefore the responsibility lies solely with the woman. This is certainly not the case. The fact that a girl drinks alcohol is her own business. Each person is responsible for his own actions - and responsibility for sex with a drunk girl is not removed from a man, but, on the contrary, grows, because in a state of intoxication a partner simply cannot give informed consent.
Another popular complaint against victims of violence is the accusation of "depravity." Conservative society believes that it is impossible to rape a girl who often changes partners: the allegedly sexually active woman herself provokes violence by her behavior, and only an innocent victim deserves sympathy. But a woman has the right to choose any form of relationship that suits her and have as many partners as possible: today she may want free relations, tomorrow - monogamous, and in a month to be out of mood and not want anything. None of these models makes it unworthy and worthy of violence. No matter how many partners a girl has before, this does not mean that she wants to have sex against her will.
Rape is not a punishment for unwelcome behavior, but a crime
Bright makeup, clothes and candid photos in social networks are also not an invitation to intimacy and do not mean that a woman deserves to be a victim of violence. The personal qualities of the victim do not matter either: if a girl seems cruel and mercantile to you, this does not mean that she could not be subjected to violence. If the victim does not look unhappy and does not cry, this is also no reason not to believe her words. At the first release of the program “Let them talk” Diana Shurygina came with styling and bright make-up and did not look depressed - because of this, the audience suspected that she was lying. We forget that different people experience injuries in different ways: their first reaction may be not only sadness and fear, but also anger and anxiety.
It is because of the fear of conviction that many victims of rape do not dare to talk about what happened - and public discussions about whether the victim could have provoked the rapist with their behavior and appearance only aggravate the situation. Honest and open talk about violence is possible only when the victims feel safe enough to talk about their experiences, and know that they can count on support - and not be afraid of condemnation.
Rape is not a punishment for unwelcome behavior, but a crime. Each of us has the right to consider alcohol, short skirts and sex before marriage to be unacceptable for oneself personally - but no personal standards can be a reason to judge other people and a reason to neglect the victim and her feelings. None of these factors makes a victim guilty - she always deserves compassion.