Girls about dating in Tinder - in Russia and other countries
Applications and sites dating has long ceased to be considered "bottom", and registration for them - an indicator of complete despair. It makes no sense to deny the fact of their existence: not to use them now is the same as ignoring smartphones or social networks. Of course, it is quite possible to live without them, but it’s much easier with them. Yes, the mechanisms of communication and dating change before our eyes, but who said that it is bad, and, in the end, trying to resist these processes is a little pointless. We asked the girls living in different countries to tell us about their experience in using Tinder - the most popular online dating application - in order to understand how it works and how they treat such acquaintances in the world.
Before I moved to Tel Aviv, I lived in London. There is hanging around the edge of a strange people living in the city recently. Well, where to meet people to drink a beer in a lonely evening, not with colleagues? Of course, in "Tinder"!
Therefore, the very first tinder meeting in Tel Aviv knocked me out of the rut: in half an hour we discussed with the young man how many children there should be in the family and how old they should be. Soon I realized that it was normal - my system “not to communicate with people with a blank profile” here led me to meet only with guys “with serious intentions”. The rest simply do not write anything in the profile. Well or growth, yes, where without it.
Ready to go to the bars here, almost everything at once - in a small-sized city with a comfortable temperature on the street there is nothing complicated about it. My heroes almost all were in earnest, but a very unpleasant feature of local dating came to light here: the main question in building a serious relationship is how Jewish you are. The people here are simple, asking such questions begin on the first date. Well, what time to lose - yet adults are already, to build a family for all.
A pleasant exception was the young man with whom we drank coffee at lunchtime, I complained to him that I had to transport a cat from Russia, and he helped me with all the documents: I sent the fax to the veterinary office, found me all the forms, sent all the links ( most of the administrative information is not something that is not translated, but even under English-language search queries is not optimized) - something, but they like to help here. It’s strange enough on dates to ask the guys to transfer papers from the bank or register electricity bills, but I soon thought that it was better than matrimonial conversations. As a result, the tinder holders decided to me almost all the administrative and domestic immigrant issues. Well, and then I met my prince in the shining iPhone in the same place - and now I have to do everything myself.
I don’t have a lot of work with Tinder - for some reason he sends me alerts one time, and I constantly miss invitations and remarks. Therefore, a non-illusory interest on my part is required just to sustain the conversation. In addition, in Moscow there is an interesting inflation of likes: if you are not too lazy to look through the photos, I have several matches in one session. And we must bear in mind that I have a rather peculiar approach to the selection, but still there are many matches. In this case, even just talk, and not to meet, trying to every twentieth about. That is, everyone likes everyone, but it almost does not lead to real contacts.
Indirectly, my theory is confirmed by the experience of a London friend - the matches at his place were extremely rare, and in Moscow - dozens daily, and he constantly met with someone. By the way, in my experience, the readiness to meet more often happens with foreign tourists and foreign visitors who work here. What others need, I have no idea. Perhaps, just having fun - I saw a lot of married acquaintances there. However, anyway, "Tinder" is calmer and more benevolent than most deytingovogo services because of the model of bilateral approval of the contact, I really appreciate it, and all my meetings, which began with "Tinder", turned out to be extremely sweet. Nothing serious has yet led, but this is not necessary. My profile says "Let's meet and see what can come of it" - everything is like in life where no one gives you any guarantees.
Exactly a year ago in London, we sat in a cafe with girlfriends, when they showed me Tinder: "Haha, and you are not so desperate yet, right? Look, there are such happy fishermen, and such handsome men in uniform, and here you are there are fatties too. Many work here 12 hours a day, how else can they find someone? " At the age of eighteen, I would never have established anything like that, I would have thought that it was not prestigious, it was not supposed to, but now curiosity overpowered everything else.
I used the app in London, Paris, Barcelona and Moscow, but the Anglo-Saxons, in my purely subjective view, are the coolest. Firstly, there is one out of every five handsome men (we are accustomed to seeing such only in the leading roles), they are elegant, they have a wonderful tradition to attend official tuxedo events - therefore there are a lot of photos of this kind. There are a lot of funny things: Christmas sweaters, a constant photo in a pub and always skiing or hunting - this is how everyone presents their hobbies. About the English guys joke that they are so gentlemen that they pass the whole initiative to the girls. For girls from the East, of course, this is unusual. In practice, this means that the bill for dinner on the first date most often paid by a man, but then all in half. I have the opportunity to compare this experience with other cities. For example, there are not so many users in Moscow, mostly foreign visitors. If good pictures are uploaded, reciprocity happens most often. In Barcelona, almost all of Tinder's customers are tanned, brave guys with tattoos and a touch of life. In Paris, dark hair, blond little, most guys are skinny and with a serious look. A lot of dark-skinned guys with pictures of rocking. Not everyone speaks fluent English. Someone is looking for a real friend, and someone is just one night stand, but, in principle, in each case, his own motive - and this is manifested in the first dialogue. I had two novels - with an Englishman and a Frenchman, with an average of two and a half months each, we met in neutral territory, shared expenses equally, rode a night out of Paris, admired wild horses in national parks and saw off sunsets on the beaches. In general, everything is as usual, but sometimes it was necessary to prompt him to help bring your heavy bag or give you a hand, and then have a little patience that you are jokingly called a princess. Such applications, of course, make life easier. Imagine several millions of users who are ready to answer yes or no: we could only dream of such abundant possibilities before. By following Tinder for about an hour a day (many spend more on instagram), you can review several thousand users in a week. According to my personal statistics, there will always be one cool and interesting one for sixty applicants. There is an opinion that "before things were repaired, and now they are buying new ones." If you transfer it to the plane of human relations, it will seem too harsh and consumer. Nevertheless, you have a smartphone in your hands, you open the application, set age parameters - and literally among the first hundreds of users you see someone who seems attractive to you and who might be interested. We will not compare this with the supermarket counter, but it turns out that, having found a partner, you should always bear in mind: if something goes wrong, one of you will simply open Tinder again. Everything is as before, only easier.
I installed both Tinder and OkCupid in a boring queue at the AppleStore, because I wanted to try it for a long time, I was very worried because of unresponsive sympathy and keenly craved attention and compliments (which is no secret?).
Young people in the States treat such fun much more evenly than in Russia. We have sites (applications) for dating - the bottom of personal life, below which only the club of old girls. In the US, Tinder and other applications are generally used for any reason: for one-time sex, and to search for a person with whom you can discuss the tax system of the countries of the Middle East and go home. By the way, in Tinder I met one of my best friends. I used Tinder and OkCupid for about six months. Of course, I had to go through some very strange dates and get about a hundred unpleasant and unhealthy offers. At the same time, Tinder is a rather safe thing compared to other social networks for dating: it is impossible to be completely anonymous in it, because it is tied to Facebook. In my city, it is generally used to do everything quickly and not to be distracted anymore: almost all the young people here are students, half are undergraduates and graduate students, no one has time to look around, so Tinder flips through the queue for everyone. I know three couples who met in Tinder, and I myself meet a wonderful person who wrote me four months ago on OkCupid. By the way, we constantly giggle with him, looking at how some start to get lost and embarrassed when we say how we met, as if we had done something inappropriate. Still, there is a whole layer of people who believe that the relationship that began in Tinder or something like that is doomed to failure. So, failure in a relationship can have a million reasons, and mutual likes in Tinder are not part of them.
It is a well-known fact that Tinder originally appeared as an application for fast dates, but like any phenomenon that has become widespread, a specific goal has long since disappeared from it. People there are looking for everything: sex for one night, wives and husbands, guides to new cities, a way to dull loneliness. The format in which the only criterion for evaluation is a photo came up to me, the photographer, ideally. When I was still in a relationship, I was happy to pick out potential crumbs for my gay friend over a glass of wine in a bar, and when my personal life suddenly collapsed, I just downloaded Tinder onto my phone. She began to use it in Moscow, where she went for a couple of months for resuscitation.
Tinder became for me a kind of guarantee of anonymity, a way to find partners outside the "party". I remember the very first match worked with a bang. A boy from the States, who came to Moscow for a week, simply asked to show him the city. Well, I showed. In September, she returned to London and began to use Tinder as part of the “do not be depressed” program. I went on dates as if I were at work, because I knew that I should lie down on the sofa and tears would flow down over the former. In general, the period was rather muddy: a bunch of strange meetings, a feeling of modern relations in society as some kind of fast food - people no longer want to make an effort to like it. On messages like "Hello!" I did not answer. Only an individual approach, ha ha. The main criteria for choosing men were the presence of taste and brains. Later, the main criterion was different - "adequacy", as there were a great many freaks.
One day, a man just ran away after a glass of wine, muttering something like the following: "I do not have this unmistakable feeling that you are the only one, and I have little time." Another man on a third date admitted that he was in love, and then completely disappeared. There was a boy who, unfortunately, I really liked - he made an appointment and disappeared the day before. And so five times. There was just sex. At a certain point, tiredness and disappointment rolled in, human stupidity seemed limitless. The simple logic prevented me from carrying the application: if I use Tinder, there must be someone like me here. Funny fact: if you use Tinder in Southern Europe, say, in Spain, guys easily offer their apartment for a wait. Very cute. And the rest is all like everywhere else.
I met my boyfriend in Tinder. It was the shortest correspondence in history. He wrote that he would like to get to know me closer, but not so, but at dinner, and left a phone number, which I called, being in perfect dullness and depression. We met on the same day, December 31, the evening of which smoothly passed into the New Year. And since then, almost do not part. I am very happy. Well, we'll see.
Photo: 1, 2 via Shutterstock