"It Could Happen to Me": Girls about this action to not inspire
On the night of January 23 in Moscow there was a brutal murder of a student Tatiana Insurance. Student MSTU. N. E. Bauman Artyom Iskhakov published a letter in social networks where he said that he had killed Tatiana, who was his neighbor, then raped her body - and committed suicide. The story was instantly scattered on social networks, but the commentators split into two camps: while some sympathized with the dead girl, others began to condemn her for photos in lingerie, which she laid out on Instagram, and for drinking alcohol.
In response to the victimization of the blogger from Minsk, Anastasia launched a flash mob “do not inspire”: the purpose of the action is to draw attention to the culture of violence and remind others that a murder cannot be justified by “immoral” appearance or behavior. Many Russian-speaking users of social networks joined the flash mob - we asked bloggers and activists about why it is so important.
It seemed to me that for a long time I had no illusions about the accusation of the victim and slattinging in Russian society, because as a feminist and activist I constantly encounter them. But the reaction to Tatiana Insurance's murder shocked me: it turned out to be worse than it could have been in a dream. It turns out that even if you were brutally murdered out of the blue, there will be people, and, moreover, very many who will see this as a completely fair and deserved result. And for this it is enough of such a smallness as the photograph of alcohol and sex toys in instagram.
When I read the news, I had one thought in my head: I am the same as Tanya. All this could happen to me. It did not happen because it was lucky. But it turns out that there are a lot of people who believe that for my lifestyle I can be killed. So I took a photo with a vibrator and the inscription "Je suis Tanya" across the chest. Nipples had to cover up, because for that banyat. I wanted to show that I am the same person as she, with a profession and hobbies that include sex.
Then Nastya 2day4night wrote to me that she launched a flash mob that didn’t inspire, and I, of course, joined. I think this is extremely important. I do not have a public instagram, so I put the photo on the telegram channel and on Facebook and shared it on my personal page.
In general, I don’t really like undressing stock: it seems to me that, as a result, it often happens that more attention goes to the bare chest than to the reason why someone removes clothes. But this flash mob is another case, and it is here that the demonstration of a naked or semi-nude body is very appropriate. Tanya is condemned precisely because she dared to show the body and freely express sexuality in a personal instagram. From the point of view of commentators, this is what makes the death of a girl deserved. And I want such photos to be as much as possible, so that people can see that this is a normal thing. To take a photo in underwear or not is a personal choice of each, and each has the right to do so. And no one has the right to kill us for it.
Many say: "Why do you tease hypocrites? They’re just getting more furious." Fortunately, our brain is designed so that with repeated repetition of the stimulus, the acute reaction is weakened. Whether opponents want a flash mob or not, but the more photos they see, the less they will resent them. Humanity has already passed this a hundred times: with skirts above the ankle, and with short haircuts, and with women in trousers. Now we are passing the next stage, when we, women, normalize our body and sexuality, demonstrating it. Just as our great-grandmothers normalized short haircuts. And there are so many of us that we simply cannot but win.
All these comments blaming the victim are predictable. Since I am physically ill from them, I try not to read them. I can imagine the scale without it. Therefore, even when such "gray" comments appear in my Facebook, which will be a bit more accusation of the victim, I try to ignore them, just to not enter into the discussion and not give a platform for similar views.
Often, people try to somehow rationalize what happened: for example, to explain it as a pathological psychiatric case or as an oversight of parents — in general, they say anything if they don’t notice the problem of male violence rooted in culture. In this case, it is stalking, reaching the extreme point. All this is painful and unpleasant for me, I do not enter into discussions, because I protect myself. But I really respect those who explain in comments to specific people what the accusation of the victim is and why it is evil.
I did not notice much flashmob in my tape. The idea itself seems good to me: it is at the same time a struggle against the slatsharing and the accusation of the victim, such a double message. I myself would have laid out a naked photo, but this is not quite peculiar to me, so, probably, I will not, I will think about it.
I decided to launch a flash mob, because for a long time I was worried about the culture of violence and the accusation of the victim. As a rule, the victims are women, and, as a rule, in any situation - rape, murder - it is the woman who is blamed. Specifically, this situation struck me because of the media headlines. They devalued what happened, declared that the victim was guilty of his death, and that the murderer, on the contrary, was practically innocent. They were sorry for the killer, romanticizing his actions, and the girl was exposed guilty - moreover they appealed to the fact that she had nude photos, photos with sex toys, that she drank alcohol, although this was not a reason for murder and could not be an excuse.
I went to the comments to the photo of this girl and saw even more such statements there. It really touched me. I digested it all day and decided that blogger friends or anyone else would support me and at least I would be more comfortable with the thought that even a small one, but we would make my information field. Forming it is very important in the fight against a culture of violence. So I decided to launch a flash mob. He is against the culture of violence, against the accusation of the victim, so that in her life would not look for reasons for a crime. Focus with the actions of a maniac shift to the victim. In fact, I understand why this is happening: this is easier. It is easier to think that this person is bad and bad has happened to him - and this will not happen to me. But that doesn't work like that.
Flashmob shot, because many women live in fear, constantly afraid to express themselves in any way - not only in photos. If a woman is asked what she does in order not to be raped, she will find a thousand reasons: she will say that she does not walk along dark alleys, dresses in chaste clothes, wears underwear so that her nipples do not show through, she knows how to fight and shout loudly - whatever . If you ask a man what he should do in order not to rape, he will not answer anything, because he really does not know what he should answer. In fact, the answer is simple: he simply has no right to violence — neither to men nor to women. But since men are brought up from the very beginning that they should be responsible, strong, that women are weaker, they are created to serve them in order to care for them - that is why a man does not think that he should not rape: he considers himself stronger and more important.
I do not speak for all men and for all women - this is a very important point. But in our culture the idea is traced that a woman is not a man. What a man can do, a woman cannot do. Always to blame the woman. That is why, probably, they supported me - all these women live in this. Some of them were raped, someone was beaten, someone was oppressed and offended, someone saw it from relatives, someone was just scared. Therefore, such a resonance, so much support.
Society responded, as always, "traditionally." In popular publics there were a lot of comments like "She could not give him one time?". To say that this reaction to an event is more monstrous than the event itself is to say nothing. In Russia, mizoginnye moods and rhetoric in the spirit of "I am guilty myself", the notorious victimization. The reason for this reaction is interesting: why do they always regret not the victim, but the criminal? Some incomprehensible excuse for evil.
I think in many respects because, in principle, women are not used to being perceived as a separate, independent person, and not as an application created to please a peasant. Hence the reaction. This is already at a deep level, apparently: ostensibly she dresses not for herself, but for someone. In fact, a woman can dress as she wants - and this does not mean at all that you have the right to do something with her or she calls you to something. The tag itself is not very good to inspire, although the initiative is very good. But, I'm afraid, again, no one will understand. Apparently, the society will follow the logic for a long time, "the ogre has the right to devour you, because you really look like meat."
The Russian society reacted to the murder as the Russian society likes to react: by a friendly, loud and joyful accusation of the victim in everything that happened to her. They disassembled the dead girl's instagram molecules, found an "immoral" there and exhaled in satisfaction: hurray, she is again to blame. Instagram for the killer and the rapist for some reason does not interest anyone.
Can you imagine what would be the opposite situation? If Tatiana herself had killed him? She would have become a criminal of the year, she would have been declared a monster. And so - well, poor boy, mentally ill, finished with himself, a very sad story. In general, Russian society is weakly sensitive to violence, it is perceived as the background and norm of life.
A flash mob is needed to show that among us there are people with empathy and solidarity who will not blame the victim. To draw attention to the problem of violence against women: the trouble is not only that there is violence, but also that it is actually socially approved.
What happened is shocking. The event well illustrates what feminists often say: rape in most cases is not a situation when a maniac attacked in the bushes; most often this is done by men whom women know and trust. The girl just went to her room, she was attacked, killed, her body was raped.
It is shocking that they are discussing whether the girl had the right to dye her hair purple and spread photos on her on Instagram. This is an unimaginable situation. There is a letter where the offender confesses what he has done. The letter shows that he had psychological problems with his health, that he was deceiving a psychiatrist. His psychiatrist did not notice the aggravation and danger to others - but his neighbor supposedly should have noticed it. This is a perverted world in which the actions of a young girl who relate only to herself — cigarettes, wine, photos on instagram — prove to be an excuse that she can be killed and raped her corpse. It’s hard to believe, but it was a massive reaction.
It is not clear what happens in people's heads. Everyone probably saw the father of two teenage daughters, who wrote that this guy embodied the most base desires of "any normal peasant." That is, "any normal man" secretly wants to kill her neighbor and rape her.
There is a nasty publication in Dni.ru, signed by Mikhail Voitsekhovsky (the country should know its heroes!), Where he describes in three pages why she deserved what happened to her. He says that against the background of this testimony, her friends allegedly look unreliable: they say that she was a sweet, kind and quiet girl. And after that, he offers condolences to the family and friends of the deceased. It's outrageous.
There is a second point of view - this is a reaction to the way society perceives this story. These are people who believe that the victim can not be guilty of death. I know that this situation has affected many. Many are afraid to take to the streets, for someone it was a huge stress. I have no such stress, but the fact that an adult girl still has no right to drink wine, and if she does, it gives men the indulgence to kill her - amazingly.
I think the flash mob is more of a defensive reaction. I'm twenty-eight. At seventeen, eighteen, I also had a photo with wine. It is shocking to realize that if a neighbor or a classmate killed me, I would now be discussing the Internet like Tanya: why did I dye my hair a bright red color?
It seems to me that the action has primarily a psychological meaning. State that living your life is normal. To dye your hair in bright colors is normal. That posting photos of your body in your own instagram is normal. Drinking, being an adult, is normal. It is abnormal to kill people, torture them, rape them.
I do not know what can be achieved by the action. On the one hand, there are changes. On the other - I just read that some woman wrote: "In your world, even corpses are raped, and in my body, even with a dead body, you can make love." Honestly, I don’t have much hope that something can be changed with a flashmob on Facebook. It is important for each individual to establish their right to live a normal life. But I have no big hopes that the flash mob will change the public consciousness in Russia. It seems to me that the public consciousness of the nation can be changed only with the support of the state.
The reaction of society was a shock to me. The first statements about the "harlot" seemed to be single speeches, but the more comments, the more obvious the bottom was pierced. On a par with support and empathy, people accuse Tatiana of being disgusted with me, pity the killer and romanticize his image. I am familiar with our realities and regularly read the comments under our lectures and videos about violence on the channel "Sexprosvet 18+", I see the level of slatting and going beyond the accusations of victims.
After reading the killer's farewell letter, I was sure that in a situation of such a cruel and bloody crime two opinions could not be. That is, I knew that everything was bad, but I didn’t even think so. It is gratifying that several flash mobs immediately appeared in her support. I understand that this story struck me precisely because I, in my life, constantly encounter slatsharing and sometimes harassment for similar reasons - all this resentment has accumulated and spilled out into participation in the action.
Why the action is needed is a difficult question. I doubt that she will be able to convince those who believe that "I am guilty myself", that "I should not have been kept in a friendly zone" and "this is what brings fornication and candid photos with a bottle." Rather, these people are activated even more, because "one sh *** in the world has become less," but how many of them have now appeared in social networks. From this point of view, the idea is probably doubtful, but I took part and have no regrets, because I just can’t keep silent. It seemed to me that if I ignored this situation, I would feel as if I had been beaten by a person, and I would continue to look and pretend that nothing is happening. The reaction that struck (posthumously, which is outrageous) against Tatyana seems to me surprisingly unfair, all these commentators are deeply unhappy, and therefore cruel and insensitive people. I regarded silence as solidarity with them, and I categorically wanted to separate from them and show support.
I think that for each participant the flash mob means something of their own, but for society it is another high-profile action. It would be very nice if even this flash mob inspired someone to think about why the girls rushed to upload photos. And if at least one answer is not accusatory, then all this is not in vain. And if it does not, at least the women once again united in the struggle for rights. And it gives strength and hope that we will win this way.
After I began to study as an anthropologist, it became difficult for me to speak for the whole society. A part of him reacted like me, and the other, a significant part — the people I see in social networks, and a wide variety of media — responded terribly. They began to dig into the girl's instagram, write cruel things, accuse her of what happened - because she put photos of her legs into instagram, because she was his ex and lived with him.
Honestly, I don’t really believe that people who write (I saw) that “living sh *** are standing up for the dead” can be explained with the help of this flashmob. But maybe someone can. I think the action also has a therapeutic effect - at least I feel it. I see that other women are participating, I feel that I’m not alone with this world, which does not allow me to have a private life, to leave the house, to drink alcohol, to exist in general - because in any case there is something to blame me if terrible will happen to me. When I see these photos and posts of these women, it becomes somehow easier for me.
I believe that all these terrible events and discussions after them at least slightly change something. I believe that this is a monstrous murder, the trash wave that has risen after him, and the resistance that she encounters will also change something. Maybe we will somehow move towards the destruction of misogyny. I want to believe in it - otherwise it's too scary.