"Shining ass in the face of the holy women": Why am I posting photos without clothes
Photo of the naked body on the personal page of the girl for many it looks like a provocation. For example, after news of the murder and rape of Tanya Insurance, forum visitors and commentators on Facebook and VKontakte interpreted nude pictures in the profile of the victim as an excuse for rape and murder. Or they presented what they did as a punishment for the fact that the girl was "not so innocent" - some publications operated on this phrase.
Nude photos on Instagram are considered asocial, because we are not used to the fact that a woman can undress and be sexy for herself. Because a woman who does something for personal pleasure and is not afraid to say about it, already provokes.
Photo right
Every two months, in the morning, before changing clothes after sleeping, I choose a place among the mess in the apartment. I put the camera on the self-timer, take a picture and post it on instagram. Previously, I would arrogantly ask myself: "Well, why do something to the public and say that this is“ for yourself ”?” In my thoughts I condemned girls who take pictures of themselves without clothes - it never occurred to a woman that she could post such a photo simply because she liked herself. It seemed that these pictures were taken for the sake of enthusiastic posts in the direct, in order to fill their price with a successful pose, and empty self-esteem with sticky compliments. Consciously, I did not think that girls were selfish hunters for successful men, but most of the misunderstood myths work unnoticed.
I seemed familiar to the freedom-loving daredevil. But in fact, I always kept myself within the framework of the concept of a “decent girl”: I didn’t swear and snort when I heard talk about sex or penises. It was uncomfortable to even put a photo with bare shoulders. Suddenly acquaintances will think that I am stupid and want attention? Do I have nothing more to show, let alone say? As if when you upload photos of your body, at the same time you press the button of erasing the memory, as in “Men in Black” - and no one remembers that you are a person. I thought that naked photos on instagram reinforce the annoying objectification.
Now I think differently. Despite the fact that advertising cars, vacuum cleaners and loans, decorated with naked girls, looks from all sides and no one is shocking - our bodies do not belong to us. Companies use women's forms in advertising, and they are not blamed for this, but the girl who shows the body is almost always hit by an unpleasant label. Our bodies either belong to men in dark bedrooms, or become public property and a way to sell goods. We used to think that if you upload a photo without clothes, it means that you want to sell something. For example, yourself as an attractive person.
Journalist Anya Chesova says that her instagram was “indecent” two years ago. “I remember it happened after the divorce: I began to allow myself a lot of things that I didn’t allow during my marriage. I also put photos on instagram — in underwear, without underwear. I won’t say exactly what moved me — the thirst for self-presentation hysteria, curiosity, passion for outrageousness, a desire to rethink their sexuality. Probably, everything at once. The effect was instantaneous: several acquaintances immediately unsubscribed from me, and I gained a reputation as a girl with such “instagram” my ass! "). I started in pain th number of incoming unambiguous proposals from men friends and there. And that, and another, and the third I ignored. "
Illusion of dignity
After a bad year, full of deaths and illnesses of loved ones, I went to a psychotherapist; At the same time, I thoughtfully studied feminist theory. After a few liters of tears about my share, I thought about the mercilessness of the "female" patterns: it turned out that within them I was not just a "worthy girl", but also a "wise patient woman." That while I am guided by the concepts of dignity and restraint, I tolerate manipulation and abyuz in relations. And that these schemes passed to me from my mother and grandmother, whose fate I vowed not to repeat.
Just half a century ago, my grandmother was forcibly married at thirteen years old - my grandfather was thirty-three. At fifteen, she gave birth to my mother, and they suffered a lot of family violence. Mom got married at the age of twenty-two - at will, but she still picked up the family scheme: papa was an authoritarian person, reprimanded us both, kept almost in military rigor and did not even allow me to cough when I was sick. I tried to get out of control and as a teenager I immediately got from one abuzzal relationship to another. During the therapy, it turned out that I was accustomed to violence, and that my sexuality always belonged to anyone — parents, boys, commentators on the Internet — but not to me.
Right to body
As a child, my mother put me to bed, and then went into the room every fifteen minutes. I slightly opened the door to see with one eye what I was doing - and if my hands were not on a blanket, a scandal would arise. I always tried, even in my sleep, to lie in the pose of a soldier so that they would not accuse me: the patrol could descend at any time. If I spent in the bathroom longer than half an hour, there was a knock at the door: "What are you doing there !?" All of our secret girlfriends with her friends, hidden in her desk, were “accidentally” found and reprimanded by mother for every word that seemed indecent to her.
Due to surveillance and accusations, I was sure that I was worthy of a "bad disease" and, if I touched myself, irreversible changes would begin in my body and I would die. Of course, nobody spoke about sex and menstruation. Thanks to this upbringing, I, until the age of twenty-three, did not understand how to indulge myself in sex, despite the high libido and activity. It all came down to inventing "something new" that a man would like - glossy magazines taught me that. I didn’t know what could be different.
My partners hinted that it was stupid, that it was beautiful, that it was stylish, that it was sexy, and that out of what I was wearing was “gopoteka”, although I wore ordinary T-shirts and jeans, sweatshirts and skirts. To teach me how to look “right”, I was given clothes and cosmetics to my taste, knowing in advance that these things were not very good for me — such generosity for gifts seemed to be a concern. One guy, when he wanted to have sex, while I didn’t want, several times brought the member to my face and finished on him or on the pillow next to me. In moments when I refused, it seemed to myself a terrible bitch, and felt sorry for him. Well, I suffered, of course.
Spit prohibiting sex light
After six months of therapy, I realized that the ideas of others about the "decent girl" are choking me, and I want to shine my ass in the face of the saints with their unspoken laws about what is good for a girl and what is bad for her.
Not a single physical criterion, including the degree of nakedness, determines our moral qualities. Naked - does not mean far off. Imposed restraint and modesty suppress boldness and confidence, which help to resist violence, and also to believe in themselves and achieve goals. It is very important for me to say, first of all to myself: I am not modest. The last thing I want is to correspond to the ideal of dignity, which is necessary for future grooms, but not for me. Dignity is not an illusion of purity that makes you valuable in the wives market.
Why do something to the public and say that it is for yourself? It is important to show the world, which has always come up with illogical rules for you and other girls, that you do not play by its rules. Spit in the direction of the ban on sexual intercourse and the image of the chaste girl. Simone de Beauvoir also wrote about how men have worn long skirts and sleeves on women for centuries and come up with other rules of decency for them in order to keep a “secret”, revealing which they feel significant. I do not need to conquer - I myself am not interesting to conquer someone.
Sometimes people come to the comments who say that I am “sh ***” - but I don’t care. Others insist that I post the photo because it is “slim”. For the banal idea of a girl who earns attention with her body, critics do not notice the post about how I was worried about my small chest and saving up for an operation to increase. And these photos are the same recognition of the right to love your body without interventions. At the same time, I am not interested in compliments: it doesn’t matter to me whether strangers consider my body beautiful or, on the contrary, not. Couch psychologists write that the photo shows: I have depression and problems with self-esteem. After all, with a girl who posted a photo without clothes, something is wrong, she needs help to solve problems. I laugh at them with my psychotherapist.
According to Chesova, nude photos help, if not to fight, then to revise the standards of beauty: “In fact, the body is not sterile. Most of us (yes, almost everyone, that already) have not perfectly smooth buttocks and fragile bellies, hair often grows not there where necessary, skin with pigmented spots - and so on. If we talk about the norm as something most common, then the norm is more like a non-ideal non-glossy body, and not an ass without cellulite. perspective, filter, light. I was there too: making o alternate erotic picture for instagram, I tried hard to get to the convention, to create a myth around my body - and the reality is much more prosaic.
Yes, the so-called bodipositive accounts have finally started appearing on the Internet, which are trying to dilute this endless stream of sharp cheekbones, sunken abdomens and narrow hips, but they are still perceived by most as exotic. And I think it will be so for a very long time. Therefore, the devil knows: yes, we can say that erotic photos help to see your body, and you can say that they help to see your body as it is, after all, not completely. Self love or desire to powder reality? But I am glad that the process of revising the standards themselves is still going on - and we all participate in it, whether we want it or not. "
Such photos are good self-therapy. Especially for us, those who live in a society where an advertisement about female destinations shouts from every stop: "Having got pregnant, give birth." Where sexual enlightenment instead of scientists engaged nuns and priests. And where our morality belongs to anyone - parents, boys, divan psychologists, the Russian Orthodox Church, the Angarsk maniac - but not us.
